Advanced Seminar Textbook, page 297
“For protection, for provision, for the things I need…” are the words to a song that I taught children 15 years ago about the “Umbrella of Protection.”
The umbrella was over the dad, and if the dad was right with God, then there were no holes in the umbrella. If the mom was under the husband’s authority, then Satan couldn’t get to her. Or the kids.
But, at any time, the dad might get out from under God’s “protection,” and Satan could get him and the family. I say “Satan could get” with no humor. Satan was the enemy to be feared. If you didn’t do what your parents said, and do so cheerfully while going the extra mile, then you weren’t really obedient. Satan could attack you.
This “attack” could happen in many ways. Anything bad that happened (from a pet dying to getting stuck in traffic) was portrayed as an attack from Satan that you had done something to deserve (actual cause-and-effect or responsibility were never considered). Also, there was always the opposite possibility that Satan was attacking your life because you were doing something so wonderful that he just couldn’t stand idly by while you accomplished God’s will. Thus, if bad things happened, you were either properly “under authority” or “out from under authority.” Please don’t ask me what distinguished between the two—I have no idea.
As with most families in Bill Gothard’s Advanced Training Institute (ATI), in our family this umbrella concept meant that every time something happened that my parents saw as “bad” or that they didn’t agree with, I was told I had done something wrong. I had to confess, make myself right with God, and of course apologize to all people involved. The amount of second-guessing myself that this has created throughout my life cannot be put into words.
I was always confused at how the umbrella of authority worked for single moms. I saw some single moms live under the control of their brothers, brothers-in-law, uncles, and other male relatives. Divorce was also taught as very bad in God’s eyes, and I always wondered how that played out since my Dad was divorced. Were there holes in his umbrella of protection because he had sinned? Could Satan attack me because of my father’s sin? This fear was very real in my teenage years.
In my late teens, my parents’ anger and emotional abuse kept getting worse. I didn’t know how to respond to them, so I sought counseling from my pastor. Instead of encouraging me (at age 19) to move out of an abusive home, my pastor encouraged me to stay and find God for myself. While I did find God to be real and personal, I also began to realize that the authority concept was very flawed. Living in my parents’ home into my mid-20s, with no formal education past 8th to 10th grade, I was constantly told that I had no say over my life. My dad was to direct my future.
There was no graduating to my own umbrella, no trust that I was old enough to think for myself. My parents were still the ones to choose a husband for me. To our peers in the homeschool world, I was considered a child still—even though I was more than 20 years old and held the responsibility of several part-time jobs.
The only way for me to be seen as an adult was to get married (to Mr. Amazing, who would want to marry me without dating and with both sets of parents controlling the relationship to make sure nothing “improper” happened) and have children of my own. But getting married would only be the start. To be viewed as an equal by the other “adults,” getting pregnant and having my own child within the first 18 months of marriage was essential. I regularly watched teenager marry teenager (with no formal college, career, or job training, and with no savings) and soon after announce that they were having “a blessing.”
Somewhere between these people getting married and having their “blessing,” the status of adult was given to them. I still don’t understand how people thought that engaging in sex without birth control, while being unprepared to provide for a family, was behaving as an adult. Meanwhile, I was standing around waiting for Mr. Amazing to show up and could do nothing to hurry the process along.
My parents believed they were to control my life and make all the decisions for me until I married their choice. When I was 24, two traumatic events occurred: my expected move 1,500 miles away from home was canceled, and my car was wrecked in a hit-and-run accident. While I felt like my life was falling apart, my parents refused to let me go anywhere, drive anywhere, or have any friends pick me up. I remember sitting in the back seat of the car sobbing, begging my parents in the front seat to let me have a friend come get me. There are no words to describe the helpless, hopeless feeling of being trapped by your own parents at age 24.
Before you ask why I stayed in a controlling, manipulative house, you have to understand that leaving would be worse. I would then be labeled, abandoned, and shunned. Leaving would put a label on me that said, “I have chosen to ignore the godly advice (given as commands) of my parents and have given my life to Satan. I have chosen to turn my back on God.”
I had watched people shun my friends and my friends’ siblings, and we talked about the horrible things they must have done to deserve being called a rebel. Only when I was labeled as the rebellious “child” myself did I understand that the adult “child” may have done nothing wrong—it was the parents who were trying to control and live their adult children’s lives who were wrong.
To this day, the image of the umbrella still brings memories of the parental “right” to control their adult children and the feeling of complete helplessness of having every aspect of your life dictated without your say. The umbrella was literally held over my head.
Michelle was raised in the ATI program from age 5. At age 24 she left everything she knew and moved from the east coast to Texas, where she currently lives. In 2009 she fell in love with and married a former ATI student. Together they are experiencing freedom from legalism and discovering Love and Grace to be overwhelming and life changing. She writes at www.fallingintofreedom.com
"There was no graduating to my own umbrella"
Michelle, this is what kept our family out of ATI/IBLP. We looked forward to each milestone of our child's life, including adulthood. We never missed the child, because we enjoyed the adult equally as much. We didn't fear him becoming an adult, because we knew The Lord loved him and could protect him more than we could. As we looked at God's great love in our lives we didn't want to rob our son of enjoying that same great love as he stood before the One that gave His life. The truth is no matter how much we love our child there is Someone who loves him more. We could talk about that relationship with him, but we could not live it for him. I feared standing between our son and God in their relationship more than the attacks of Satan. Both are harmful. One I can use self control. The other I must trust God. He is trustworthy.
Nancy2,
Thank you for what you wrote. There are times that i don't believe there are parents like you out there, and it scares me, because i do not want to be my parents. As i watch my kids grow, I am simply captivated by them. Their independence, their joy and their love for life. I don't want my babies to grow up, as i am sure most parents feel at one time or another, but as each year passes, i enjoy them more and more. The way that you write about your son, is how I want to be, and break the cycle and brainwashing in me. It gives me hope to see parents that have it right, when i mainly see parents who control everything... Even though i have been married for 10 years and have 4 children, I am a child, and a rebellious one, at that. I long to be treated as an equal with my parents, to be "friends" now, if you will, but that is not going to happen with me and them, but I CAN make it be an option for my children, if that is something that they desire! Again, thank you, for giving me that hope, and your son is very lucky to have you!!
Stacey, if we would have kept our son a child we would have aborted God's help in our time of need. Before the 2008 recession my husband and I had a business, and our son worked hand in hand with his dad. Through no fault of our own the business closed. Our son was 27 at the time. His encouragement and advice was greatly needed. He had insights that were greatly needed and extremely helpful to his dad especially. If we would have looked at him as a child instead of a man we would have missed that blessing God intended.
Stacey, I will pray your parents will see the beautiful relationship with you, their adult God loving daughter, that they are missing.
In my parenting, I have found that when you train a child well in multiple aspects of life, they take what you taught them and build on that. In the end they exceed my knowledge, wisdom and experience, and I am able to learn from them. WHy would I want to subject them to my umbrella when there they would not be able to attain what God has designed them to do.
Exactly!
Michelle, this is exactly what happened to me in my family! It is sad to know there are many others. I am praying ATI patents read these accounts and realize how wrong these teachings are. I'm also praying adult ATI students read here, understand and find they with God's blessings are free to leave! Although many may need other people to help them leave. I had no money or friends or place to escape. I was stuck until age 28 before Mr. Amazing (also ATI) married me. It was still years before he and I were both able to slowly replace the wrong philosophies with healthy and freeing ones.
Great article! Such insight into the dysfunctual lie of the umbrella. So happy for your growth and freedom!
Thanks so much for sharing Michelle.
"Somewhere between these people getting married and having their “blessing,” the status of adult was given to them."
I wasn't raised ATI but I went to church with people who were staunch Gothardites. Even as an accomplished adult in my thirties (multiple degrees and a corporate career) they treated me as a child who should have nothing to say, while any eighteen year old with a marriage license was granted full privilege in their circle.
Fortunately I had plenty of other people to affirm me, including my own supportive parents, but I saw the lives of childhood friends scarred by the umbrella of which you speak. I'm so glad you moved on at 24! I saw many of them stay well into their thirties, still imprisoned by the umbrella.
So happy for you, Michelle! I can definitely relate to your story. Thank you for sharing; all of the confusion you went through, the pain, and the drastic measures you had to take to leave home seem to be a theme within ATI. Similar to you, I ended up leaving home to attend college right after I turned 25. Prior to that, I spent years wrestling with the exact concepts you are talking about. I remember my dad shouting and yelling at me, saying that I would lose his blessing (and therefore God's blessing) on my life if I did not do what he wanted (i.e., stay home). I sincerely wanted to please God and, like you, avoid being attacked by Satan, so I stayed home and thought the problem was with me -- that I was not submissive enough, and that God was teaching me contentment and submission. I also believed God was preparing me to be a submissive wife, and that if I could learn to be submissive to an angry and unpredictable father, I would probably have a very easy time being submissive to a kinder man. Life felt so frustrating because I saw myself as powerless to do anything to influence my future. I was at the mercy of circumstances, waiting for God to miraculously open doors and to intervene, and watching the years go by. I couldn't date or flirt with guys, so I needed some guy from my very limited social circles to want to pursue me out of the blue without much prior interaction. I couldn't save up to buy a car or leave home, because my parents would frequently, without warning, ask me for my savings due to unexpected "financial trials". Like you, I went to my pastor and told him about my dad's anger problem and other inappropriate behaviors towards me. My (ATI) pastor and his wife were kind to me, and they told me to forgive my parents, but they did not do anything to intervene or suggest I leave home. When I finally did leave for college, I faced a lot of resistance from home... I literally had to hide my application and then run my application down to the postman while my dad was out to make sure that it got mailed. I was only able to attend college because of student loans and pell grants. Ironically, once I got accepted, my parents became proud of me and said I had gotten into a good school because of homeschooling and was proof that homeschooling worked. Fast-forward 8 years, and my relationship with my parents has improved tremendously due to God's grace, lots of therapy, and boundaries. Once I began to take responsibility for my life and assert myself as an adult, they began to respect me as such, and have even been open to rethinking BG's teachings.
I just completely agree, my 27th birthday is around the corner and I am still constantly consistently second guessing myself because Satan might attack me or else God is going to chase me down and hedge me into a corner to get back to the "right" path.
The apostle Paul tells us to put on the full armor of God so we can stand against the devils attacks. He does not say to put it on if you leave your parents umbrella of protection. This is for ALL Christians , no matter your age or marital status. Satan attacks because he hates us. And yes, we are more vulnerable if we engage in sin but we can't do anything to never experience his attacks. Read the apostle Paul's life.
oryxx, Keep standing firm in your freedom in Christ. I used to feel the same way you feel. The way I expressed it was I always felt as though I were standing about 10 feet away from where I should be, and constantly feeling as though the Christian life was a tightrope walk, and that God would send Satan's goons out to "get" me if I strayed. I remember coming online many years ago, scared to even just say what I was thinking. It does get better!
I can relate. What you went through and saw was the logical conclusion of BG teachings in many people's lives. It is horrible to put sincere Christian young people into guilty agony just because they want to grow up - not do something sinful - just live as responsible adults. That is spiritual and emotional abuse.
Sounds about right, although I didn't have it quite this bad. I hate the umbrella diagram. It's not Biblical (not because it doesn't work, but because it isn't Biblical). It's amazing to me, I've heard so many ATI parents say, 'They aren't our children, God just gave them to us for a time.' And then decidedly NOT live out that statement. We are not anyone's slaves. No one is our slave. Controlling anyone, regardless of your relationship to them, is unBiblical. It's the opposite of Jesus.
Random thought: Was one of the reasons Gothard was against adoption possibly related to orphans not having 'proper' umbrellas according to his diagram?
Oh no! Don't say the A-word. I don't know if I can handle scrolling through another Adoption thread on here! :)
(just joking around)
One thing that those who want to quote "touching god's anointed" in the OT don't point out is that David was referring to not doing any physical harm to Saul. It was literally not to "touch" or do physical harm to Saul. There were 2 cases were David could have easily put to death Saul but David chose not to based on Saul being "god's anointed."
I believe there are times when David had strong words for and to Saul.
It is sad how so many leaders have twisted this passage to questioning a leader or pointing out an issue. David spoke only of physical harm to "god's anointed."
Thank you for your article Michelle Sorry for all you had to go through.
When you see comments on this site where someone says, why didn't you stop them or why didn't you get out or why did you stay quiet for so long? Rest assured, that person making the accusation was never deeply involved in IBLP or ATI. Not to be rude but sometimes you just had to be there to get it. The ignorance of those comments are crystal clear to those who were waist deep in IBLP.
"Somewhere between these people getting married and having their “blessing,” the status of adult was given to them."
Yes, I don't understand this either. I was not raised in ATI or that type of church, but I was still treated as a child well into my 20's and not allowed to make many decisions for myself. My parents also bought into the no SSN and birth certificate thing, thankfully that was righted by the time I was twenty or so so I could actually drive.
"Before you ask why I stayed in a controlling, manipulative house, you have to understand that leaving would be worse. I would then be labeled, abandoned, and shunned. Leaving would put a label on me that said, “I have chosen to ignore the godly advice (given as commands) of my parents and have given my life to Satan. I have chosen to turn my back on God.”
This is what happened to me and its still on-going. It breaks my heart every day.
Michelle,
I feel I very much could have written 90% of the same story as you.
Thanks for sharing.
Wow! Michelle, your story sounds like the story of my life! Even down to me not being willing to leave home because of the labeling that would result. I didn't think I could stand the shunning. However, the Lord was gracious to give me the courage and strength to say "no, more" to my parents psychological control and I am currently enjoying the freedom and joy in Christ that was there for me all along. I'm happily married to the man of my dreams and pursuing the many talents that God has given me. But, my family will not have any contact with my husband or I. I feel sorry for them that they're missing out on the joy of living.
Did your parents ever leave the ATI cult or did they shun you? Would you have any advice to offer someone like me who is cutoff from their family by legalism? Thanks!
Hi Yvonne,
I'm so glad you found freedom and I'm so sorry your family won't have contact with you.
The truth is I don't know if my family is still actively in ATI (it's not relevant in how I live my life now) but I know that my parents still believe a lot of the same things I grew up with. I do have a relationship with them and I think for the first time we see each other as mutual adults.
The months and years following when I left were extremely difficult. I limited contact with them and got married just over a year after I left.
Even while living with my parents I had people in my life who were parent figures. I've come to realize now that a huge role of parents is surrounding their kids with people they can look up to and seek advice from. Because honestly, no matter what a parent says and does they are still a parent and know nothing in their kids eyes. Having those parent figures in my life was important.
That has transferred to other people now. I believe in having 2nd families. I've learned a lot about being a daughter from my 2nd parents and that has transferred to my own parents. I'm much more understanding of my Dad and Mom and can have a relationship with them now needing nothing from them.
Many people talk about boundaries in recovery and healing. Those are vitally important but it's also important to know that boundaries have no expectations of the other person. I am free to not answer my parents calls because of boundaries I've set (and I did that in the first month of leaving) but I am not free to demand they call me. I accept what they give.
My advice to anyone is to seek your own healing. Trying to change anyone but yourself doesn't work (if people change for you it's not real change). Part of my healing has been separating myself from my parents and letting myself grieve (feeling deep deep pain) the childhood I never had. Another part of it has been going back and finding relationship with them.
In May of 2013 I wrote this:
http://fallingintofreedom.com/2013/05/13/mothers-day-letter/
Last weekend I wrote this:
http://fallingintofreedom.com/2014/05/11/mothers-day-thoughts/
The change in a year has been huge. I needed to go through the pain of remembering things about my Mom to get to this place of being in relationship with her. She had nothing to do with it and I'm sure it was really painful for her to read the letter from 2013. I had to go through that process alone (and with supportive safe people).
"Simply touching a difficult memory with some tender willingness to heal begins to soften the holding and tension around it and to instigate a healing process that has its own intelligence." - Stephen Levine
I hope eventually your parents both see and delight in you as their child and see you as the adult you are.
When I read stories like this I am reminded of somebodies definition of parenthood: The objective of good parenting is to raise happy healthy successful independent adults.
I attended my one and only Basic Seminar in 1976. I kept looking at the umbrella diagram and wondering how I would even follow it with my very dysfunctional family. However, wanting to at least try, and truly believing that Mr. Gothard's principles were God's plan for my life, I asked my dad about some decisions I was trying to make regarding major and career. His response--do what you like.
I scrapped Gothard, realizing that the umbrella wasn't going to work in my situation. I also realized that I had God's Word, the Holy Spirit, and godly church leadership to help me with my choices. 40 years later, that has seemed to work better than any umbrella of protection.
^^^ Yes, this!!
This is so hard to explain to someone who hasn't "been there". "Why didn't you just leave?" And I have to explain the delicate socioeconomic situation of one of these females, and how ALL of her resources are controlled by another, and not by someone she chose.
1
More like dumbrella.
2
A good antidote to worrying about attacks from satan is learning about averages, probability. law of large numbers, randomness and how people perceive it, etc. A little bit of science can make life a lot less spooky.
3
I am reminded of Marin Luther King Jr's work for racial equality. He understood that the oppressors were also imprisoned by their own oppression and that he and his movement were working for the freedom of all people. Long after I left ATIA and rejected Gothardism, I still managed to carry the idea that I had the responsibility and should have the ability to make my world conform to my (good and godly) will. I think some of this also came my exposure to the word faith movement that believes you can reorder the universe by talking to it. Of course, I couldn't make my world conform to my will. The result was that I was always angry under the surface and often above. When I finally realised that the only thing I could really control was myself and gave up trying to control the rest of the world, I became free. My anger melted away. I became a nicer person. Just as being under an umbrella is oppressive, so believing that you should BE an umbrella is oppressive. This understanding should not serve to downplay the harm umbrella-ing does to those beneath it. Rather it should show one more group of people that this teaching harms: the fathers who try to implement it.
Love your #3 Jeff.
Thanks, Nancy. It was a long, slow lesson learned the hard way. And refresher courses are often required.
Thanks for your testimony of the Bill Gothard falsehoods! I went to his seminars in the 1980's: 3 in all. Some years later I saw that what he was saying didn't make any sense. This is what you call Fundamentalism. It is anti-intellectual, and it can impoverish your life. Fundamentalism is dangerous because it uses the Word of God, and what orthodox Christian can dismiss what God has said for His people. The problem is that no interpretation is infallible, not even Rome's. So it is the job of every believer to read God's Word, and rightly interpret it. Every genuine believer has the Spirit of God, and he/she can pray for God to help make sense of His Word, but that doesn't mean that you don't need to study it with the help of theologians who have spent their lives studying it. God calls us to use our minds in knowing and loving Him more. The body of Christ is essential in the growth process, but of course this can be a problem as well. Why? Because there are Fundamentalistic Churches and Liberal Church out there that one can be influenced by. But here is where with prayer, and good discernment, one can find a healthy Church to grow in one's faith. The Christian life is a battle while we are in this world; there are no utopian place here before the parousia. We will suffer, and some may lose their lives, but we need to be always discerning concerning the kind of teaching that comes our way. Watch out for those that forbid marriage, as Bill Gothard did seem to do for those who worked for him, and then he had control over his employees, and he wasn't even a Pastor. Even Pastor's don't exercise the control that this guy excercised. Never be afraid to question the interpretations of your Pastors, they are not always right, and a healthy Pastor will admit that. As John Calvin said once, that the best theologian will only be right in their interpretations 80% of the time. There are very few if any like Calvin today in the breadth of knowledge that he had. Gothard was bent on success, not on rightly dividing the Word of Truth. He loved the limelight, and that is a reg flag to watch out for. It is difficult when someone is in authority over us, b/c we need on one hand to show respect, but on the other hand to exercise discernment, and not to jettison our minds as we grow in our knowledge of our triune God.
Thanks Michelle for sharing that, it brings back memories of the struggle for what is the right thing to do.
Please do not broad-brush fundamentalists this way. It is unjust. There is wide variation among those who wear that label and there are various definitions of the word itself.
Amen. Gothardism does not equal fundamentalism.
"the horrible things they must have done to deserve being called a rebel"
While my parents were nothing like yours, and actually encouraged me to become an adult and go to college, the fear of being called a "rebel" by my peers and other adults in my life kept me restrained for years. I desperately wanted to be considered a "godly" girl and desperately wanted peoples' approval. Ironically, this is exactly what I was labeled as when I eventually started questioning the madness, but by then I didn't care anymore!
It was very strange for me when I realized that the Bible verse that warns that "the fear of man brings a snare" applied in my case, not to the world, but to other Christians. I was afraid of what they'd think about me. I started realizing that to fully follow Christ, I could not live in fear or live wanting their approval.
That reminds me of the one IBLP video that made sense. Does anyone else remember the video by Del Fesenfeld? I think it carried the title "The Fear of Man".
Yes, Sarah, that talk made sense to me, too. In fact, I bought several copies to give to others of the audio tape they had for sale for $1 each at the ATI family conference one year.
I believe it was the last presentation Del made before he died of brain cancer. If I remember correctly, he said his fear of man came from pride. Now I wish I'd kept at least one of the tapes.
I wonder how often Gothard's materials quote Luke 14:26: "If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother...such a person cannot be my disciple." Not often, I would guess. Jesus realized that there are times when even your parents' beliefs and desires can become an obstacle to truly entering the Kingdom of God. Of course it takes discernment to know when that is happening, but it seems clear that it can. And Jesus' very strong language would indicate that choosing parents over Himself is just as much of a sin as rebellion.
Genesis 2 says "for this cause a man shall leave his father and mother..." What cause? Cleaving, full union with the bride, abandoning all other attachments, forever. Philippians 2 describes how Jesus modeled this to bring His bride into communion with Him. Gothard attempted to follow Paul and thousands who became eunuchs for the Kingdom, but he did not leave his father and mother and his birth family. (When did Paul EVER mention his earthly father?) His compromising family entanglements are seen throughout Gothard's sad history reflected on this web site. His sister intervened like Moses's sister. He used his father to protect him on the board. Gothard's unbiblical guidance about parental authority led many adherents to follow him in this unbiblical, unfruitful attachment to birth families. No bride can compete with a mother-in-law or father-in-law. Not the church, not a wife, not a ministry. "Hating" father and mother (and even wife in a few Old and New Testament passages) means abandoning all attachment that competes with full, faithful, fruitful and free union and communion with Christ. We are to model this in either our marriage or our celibate ministry as a revelation of the ultimate reality: Communion with the Bridegroom.
To think that we actually went along with it...
We knew nothing else.
I love the way The Lord is showing you so much more than what you were taught by one man. He died to set us free. I love reading all the testimonies of those now walking in freedom after such horrible bondage. You may have known nothing else then, but now ...praise God for now. I rejoice in your deliverance.
This umbrella mentality can also lead to speculation about who is committing "secret sins" if someone or a family has a string of unfortunate circumstances. I've seen that first hand. terrible. People tend to forget that a)things happen, b) The Lord chastens whom He loves, c) the world is sin-sick, etc.
I am sure others have seen that Gothard is back blogging. Yesterday he posted a Mother's day post.
"I will forever be thankful for the faith and character of my mother. As a young boy she told me about the Lord, but God used another mother to actually lead me to Christ. This other mother had many heartbreaks with an unsaved husband, but she led many children to Christ. So did my mother. God blessed both of them to be “mothers of kings”, and even now they are rejoicing with some of them in heaven, along with Jesus, the King of Kings."
Did Bill just call himself a king??! Am I reading that correctly?
Beverly,
I thought the exact same thing when I read it the first time. Did he just compare himself to King David and call himself a king?
That could be what he means. Or maybe he means that all who are saved are kings, in that we will all inherit a kingdom in Heaven?
My reading points toward lack of editing and senile rambling rather than pure self-aggrandizement.
Just noticed his footnote:
"All believers are kings and priests to God. (See Revevlation 1:6.)"
Hi Bev,
Your comment made me look up the article and read it. Wow, I don't know where to start. I rarely post because I have never been to a Gothard Seminar. I've only encountered his ideas through friends. I always thought his teachings (as they were explained to me) were off base. If his Mother's Day column is an example of his teaching style, it is a great example of mixing his own ideas into God's Word and coming out with something really strange.
I simply don't have time to go through this line by line, but he begins with a passive voice statement of what we have heard, that many mothers feel that they have failed, and so don't look forward to Mother's Day. Then he assumes the reader is one of those who feels like a failure because he addresses his thoughts to her when he says this message is for you and all mothers. I am well past middle age, and I really don't know anyone who doesn't look forward to Mother's Day because they feel like they have failed as a mother. I do know those who have a hard time with the day, because they've recently lost their own mother, or because they have lost a child. Gothard sets the tone for the column by implying that he can help them overcome this feeling by the story he is going to tell. In effect, the reader needs help, and he is the one able to help etc.
Then he begins to spin the story of Ruth and Naomi in a totally new way. Elimilech is now important because of the meaning of his name. Except Elimilech means "my God is king" or "God his king" according to numerous Bible dictionaries, not "God of Kings " as Gothard states. He needs to mis-state the meaning of the name though to make his next point, that Naomi no doubt thought it would be wonderful to give birth to sons who would be kings. He has added a whole new script element that is nowhere to be found in the book of Ruth.
On this torturous path he winds his way to the verse from Revelation, thinking he has supported his ramblings with Bible verses. Obviously, Gothard has not learned anything yet, and still feels he has the ability to teach others. How tragically sad.
Steve, I tried but I cannot stand to read his words, because I hear his voice in my head and see that smirk. I guess I have a long way to go, but I hope I never again surrender my brains to such a deceiver. I am declaring myself free from his further influence in my spiritual life. God is enough for me.
Drat. Just lost a long post.
Here's the gist:
Why is he posting?
Does he think things are fixed?
This shows some interesting things about his view on the problem.
This shows some interesting things about IBLP?
Who is doing the posting? Bill certainly doesn't have HTML skills.
Does he have approval to post?
Why is IBLP allowing him to use their servers to continue promoting a person that they are "investigating?"
billgothard.com is registered below:
Registrant:
Institute in Basic Life Principles
Registered through: GoDaddy.com, Inc. (http://www.godaddy.com)
Domain Name: BILLGOTHARD.COM
Domain servers in listed order:
NS.IBLP.ORG
NS2.IBLP.ORG
For complete domain details go to:
http://who.godaddy.com/whoischeck.aspx?Domain=BILLGOTHARD.COM
Information Updated: Mon, 12 May 2014 20:28:19 UTC
Also notice the over-citing of sources. It's almost snarky.
I'm just a little surprised by the godaddy domain registration. That's fertile ground for concern. For example, is the whole IBLP website (including Embassy "University" fronting the money for the skimpily clad young ladies on Superbowl commercials?
Or was some young IT person lured into using the GoDaddy service by said commercials?
I think an investigation and a cleansing is in order.
Agreed, the footnoting seems excessive in his Mother's day post.
Sadly, his biographical sketch provides no evidence for his claim (and the link is broken): "Today, third-generation families continue to report life-changing transformations from the truths they learned at Basic Seminars." Then again, life-changing transformation isn't necessarily a good thing...
"However, based on assertions brought by various individuals and groups, Mr. Gothard was placed on administrative leave where he was to have no contact with the ministry pending such review."
So, is this not true?
He's 1. updating his IBLP registered web site.
2. Someone with IBLP IT administrative access is helping him from a technical standpoint.
How is that "no contact?"
I'm pretty sure relocating a website's hosting is fairly low on the Gothard/IBLP priority list. BG updating his site in no way implies that he's getting IT help from IBLP. You can have lots of domains on a single hosting plan, and the people who run those domains don't have to talk to each other.
BG did a Mother's Day post. That's the whole story. There is no drama here.
Except for the little one you created by your post. I checked the whois link. All the details have been changed today. Someone is paying attention to what gets posted here.
{Waves hi to the IBLP employees reading RG} Welcome! :-)
Yeah, sorry about my rant. I know it was over the top. I'm usually the one trying to tone down rhetoric. Probably frustration with waiting and hoping for IBLP to make some necessary bold moves toward healing,but seeing very few signs of anything happening.
I'm think IBLP would do well to work toward reconciliation first. Really, I think they would only gain from sharing a little more information.
23 “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift. - From Matt. 5
I totally get what you are saying, Daniel. The waiting… waiting… waiting… Thing is, we're all waiting and hoping for BG and IBLP to do something that is out of character with their entire culture and history.
Very true, Jeff. And yet, I still have hope that the Board will make a statement---Anything! Just tell us what happened with the investigation! Why the silence? If they're not getting very far with their current investigator, they could always try a third-party investigation like GRACE. Personally, I don't think the Board has the courage to bring in a neutral third party to handle it. It's easier to handle and sanitize your own organization's sin when you don't let anyone else in to investigate it or hold you accountable.
Of the two options for dealing with the issues (legitimate external or sympathetic external/internal), the latter offers the more palatable outcome.
If an external investigation found that half of what has been published on RG is true, there is enough mess on all levels to mean the end of IBLP.
On the other hand, a whitewash results in a reduced organisation, a chance to put rebrand with a new new approach to life (that is basically the old new approach underneath). Not so much prestige and money, but still the people at the core have got their positions and income.
If you are on the inside, it wouldn't be hard to justify the latter as the Right choice when your and your coworkers' livelihood is on the line.
Or maybe I'm reading this situation the wrong way.
Unless I'm mistaken about what's going on, how can the employees of IBLP feel honest when they change things after reading posts like the above? That is, I wonder if they are fighting a battle within themselves that, 'there's alot going on that isn't ethical, doesn't look ethical, doesn't feel ethical..' I wonder if it eats away at them at all? Or do they perhaps believe that whatever 'sneaky' behavior they do is alright because it's 'for the cause'?
The umbrella teaching was what kept me trapped at home until age 29. Because, after all, if I left without parental blessing, I would end up dead in a park like Chandra Levy. It was only after seeing porn frozen all over the home computer that I realized that my "umbrella" had no fabric at all; it was just twisted, broken spokes. That was my epiphany, and two months later, I left that umbrella, and reclaimed my life.
Joy, I seem to recall reading your story somewhere on this site and it I felt so bad for you. I trust you are in a happy place now. As a father of girls, it makes me really think about a lot of things. thanks for being so painfully honest.
I totally understand your feelings! I left home at 35 because my parents didn't like my choices. I threw courtship aside (it wasn't working - ATI guys never showed an interest in me except one that I personally know of and that caused quite a ripple in the calm IBLP/ATIA lake - and my parents still gloat that someone called to court me before the one who caused ripples in the ATIA lake but they felt that guy #1 wasn't right and now, 20+ years later, they still refuse to tell the name but they will tell the story), I dated without my parents' permission, I got engaged, my fiance and I went to my home to let my parents know we were engaged, we endured a 2 hour tirade, within a couple of weeks I left home in the middle of the night because of the daily tirades and stayed with a fellow employee. Within 2 weeks I was married. It wasn't until after the birth of our first child I felt like my parents started trying to reconcile their feelings towards me. I have the feeling if they could get away with it they would start controlling me again.
A few months ago I wrote a sort of follow up to this.
It's here and I'll post it below.
http://fallingintofreedom.com/2013/11/30/the-past-does-not-define-me/
The past does not define me
By Michelle
A few months ago i wrote several things about my childhood. They are still here, unedited. And will most likely stay posted here.
Many people have asked me if I think my parents wanted the best for me. Or if i think they were out to hurt me.
The truth its that I’ve come to a place where it doesn’t matter. Those are not answers i need.
My childhood and past does not define who i am. I don’t understand it yet but I’m coming to believe that my past is what i need for the life God has for me.
Of you are screaming at me right now because of that last sentence i completely get it. I did the same.
My past does not allow me to demand i be treated special or different. I enter into potentially triggering and hurtful situations open and vulnerable, knowing that my reaction is based on issues in my life and heart and not on the people or events surrounding me.
I’m not glorifying or saying pain or hurt is good, or even that my childhood was good. i believe God is good and that He loves me. I can rest in His love and trust that my past is not in vain.
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In light of this post, what does RG consider as the Biblical understanding of authority? I would be very interested to know what they are for in this area, rather than just what they're against.
While the concept may have its flaws and certainly has been misunderstood and misapplied in too many homes, I find it sad and concerning to see how some very unfortunate experiences (which are not exclusive to conservative circles) mean the concept is discarded without evidence of a "Berean" attitude of checking it out against the Bible and discerning what is actually true.
May the Holy Spirit lead us into all truth.
do a careful study regarding what a shepherd was, and did, around the time of christ. It was NOT a glamorous, sought after job, still isn't. This would be a good place to start: service, not status. Looking after those in your charge, not building your own kingdom/ministry. Concerned for the health and welfare of normal people, not wrapped up in image.
These are a few of my thoughts, I don't speak for RG.
Lia- I do not speak for RG in any way.
But I would like to address your accusation that many are throwing the whole concept of authority out without "evidence of a 'Berean' attitude of checking it out against the Bible and discerning what is actually true."
Children are commanded to obey. In Jewish culture, adulthood was reached at the age of 12. In Gothardism, it is not reached until you have your own family, especially if you are female.
Scriptural examples of the umbrella functioning:
Mary's father tells her of Gabriel's visit to him and what God would do with Mary's life.
Elizabeth's husband tells her of the angel's visit and of how God would work through her life.
Rahab's father tells her what her "career" should be so that she is in place to save the spies and her family, eventually listing her in the line of Christ.
Abigail's husband sends her with food for King David.
Queen Esther accepts her lot as "God's Will" because her husband and absolute "authority" signed the death warrant for her people. She follows all the rules, not entering the throne room until called. Regrettably, this doesn't happen until after the day appointed for the genocide.
All of the above examples are presented tongue-in-cheek.
They simply didn't happen that way.
It would appear that God Himself does not believe in the umbrella.
From the heart of the Roman system of paterfamilias, where the entire household was nothing but the property of the "patriarch", Jesus says in Matthew 23:9, " And call no man your father on earth, for you have one Father, who is in heaven."
Notice there is no gender qualifier.
Then there's Matthew 20, beginning with verse 25- But Jesus called them to him and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. 26 It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant,[c] 27 and whoever would be first among you must be your slave,[d] 28 even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
IT SHALL NOT BE SO AMONG YOU.
Add to this the fact that Sapphira was NOT spared simply because she was "under authority". God judged her for her OWN actions.
When we arrive in heaven, God is not going to ask how well we stayed "under authority".
Listening to any authority outside the Holy Spirit and scripture is idolatry.
Plain and simple.
I do not have a high priest.
Except Jesus.
I do not have a mediator.
Except the Holy Spirit.
God grant us the courage to teach our children to listen for the Spirit and stay true to His leading in the face of all opposition, regardless of its source.
Power-hungry people will spend inordinate amounts of time and energy repairing the curtain between "underlings" and the Holy-of-Holies and then place themselves as guardians in front of it.
Should we bow to it?
Allow this falsehood to direct our dress, our choices, our futures?
It is idolatry masquerading as a "biblical principle".
Power-hungry people will spend inordinate amounts of time and energy repairing the curtain between "underlings" and the Holy-of-Holies and then place themselves as guardians in front of it.
Best quote of the month; when did Bill learn how to mend curtains?...wow, that guy can multi-task !! His position as guardian of the curtain is very much on hold: can he learn to do something useful for his remaining years ?
Dawn,
Very well stated.
Very we'll said
not that you would do this, but some would respond to Bill's critics with "well, you apparently have a problem with authority"... or "with GOd's program of authority"... true confession: I DO have a problem with Bill's package that effectively robs GOD of HIS authority, and places (in practicality) many a layer between the believer and GOD. That is NOT GOD's plan, but read thru the NT and decide for yourself. One of those articles highlighted how unBaptist bill's teaching was on this matter, and that baptists (not that Bill was baptist, but he spoke to millions of them) have traditionally been strong for the 'competency of the soul', meaning the adequacy of EACH believer to go straight to GOD thru Christ alone. By emphasizing the legitimate , but LIMITED , role of human leaders, Bill lost the forest (kingdom) for the trees (small , but needed role of some leadership from our peers)
hope this is helpful.
Have you noticed that RG is more about exposing error, vs telling people what to think? Maybe they trust the holy spirit, and not an earthly authority figure, to guide a person into truth. Ironic, huh?
Hannah, excellent point! My question was more about what RG actually and positively stands FOR, not just against. We certainly don't need more human opinions held up as God's own word!
There's an "about us" tab that details the basic beliefs of RG leadership :) Also, a link can be found at the end of every article, in the "disclaimer".
Greg, I appreciate your responses. I don’t feel this discussion is anti-authority, but perhaps the principle of charity would benefit us: http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Principle_of_charity
I’m not here to defend the umbrella illustration, and sure, there are ideological/theological differences. But let’s not be unfair in shifting the blame for the wrong choices that parents have made to one man whose application of authority never condoned abuse or control, though it may not have been 100% accurate.
Dawn, I meant to share the impression I received from reading the article and comments. I’m sorry if it sounded like an accusation, as I’m sure you would agree that accusation, especially when based on unsubstantiated facts, never contributes anything constructive to a discussion or problem.
I agree that domineering, overprotective parents are all too common and that the results are devastating. However, you state that in “Gothardism” (what does that term define?) a child has no free will until they have their own children. When was that promoted by Bill G? It’s one thing to see a trend – how parents have been using the umbrella idea to fuel their over-sheltering, controlling tendencies – and another thing to give him or his organization all the credit.
Contrasted with other conservative Christian ministries, I haven’t heard Bill G promote the idea that girls must stay at home till the day they walk down the aisle or only think and do what their dads say they can. Like you, he referenced the verses that show our highest responsibility is to God, not a father or husband. He also mentioned that when a girl has abusive parents, the healthiest place for her is NOT with those parents. Evidently, parents within ATI held and enforced other ideas, but the Bill G publications I've come across do not appear to have promoted that.
I think we see bill and his ministry differently. I never met him personally, but based on what I,ve read, mostly here at th, he was all about control, and his views on authority 'reflect that. He did not want to take a shepherd's servant role, he wanted to build a ministry. This is not uncommon. My point I s that his criticsare not against authority, they are against bill,s version of it.
I agree- I also see a man who has a certain agenda he perceives to be God's will and perfect plan for EVERYONE'S life. To make sure that plan is executed properly, he must control and be in control of everything around him and have it meet that standard. All those surrounding him must fit into that neat little square by looking and acting a certain way. To be different was to be rejected and perhaps be accused of not wanting "God's best" for your life, i.e. sinning.
As we all know the unsaved world's view of sin is mostly when Christians mess up.
Hi Lia, there are accounts here on Recovering Grace that detail how Bill told various young people, 'Obey your parents anyway,' after being informed of various horrific abusive situations, (Where he ought to have called the law and done what he could have to remove those children.)
I've never heard Bill say anything about encouraging children escaping abusive situations. I've heard plenty of anecdotal stories about young people who stayed when they shouldn't have, and God got all this glory and honor for some bad situation turned good.
I'd love to know when/where he made his comment about a girl getting away from her abusive parents, I don't know if I've ever heard it.
Lia- were you involved directly or did you just read materials?
Those who participated as students for any substantial time would tell another story.
I sat in Knoxville apprenticeship sessions, counseling seminars, and Headquarters meetings where Mr. Gothard took the principle of authority further; often defining honor as spoken of in the fifth commandment as "obeying the unspoken wishes of our parents."
If honoring our parents guaranteed God's blessing, than conversely, dishonor meant His curse.
The operational definition of obedience that we learned by heart was, "Freedom to be creative under the protection of divinely appointed authority." If that protection looked more like a cage, then we were taught to be grateful and patient, defined as, "Accepting a difficult situation from God without giving Him a deadline to remove it."
Anecdotes were told. One in particular that showed the profound use of fear to motivate honor was the example of a young man who rejected his parents music standards. While driving home from a youth activity with CCM playing on the radio, he was killed in a car accident, illustrating that God takes "honoring" our parents with deadly seriousness. It also taught young people, regardless of age, that to refuse acceptance of their parents as THE voice of God on small stuff like standards or big stuff like life direction was to "rebel", putting yourself in God's permissive, second-best will in the best-case scenario, and under possibly fatal judgement of God in the worst-case scenario.
Meanwhile, in the parent sessions, fathers were being challenged to "stand up and lead". They were told that God expected them to "lead" their children into righteousness. They were taught that children without leadership would most certainly fall. They were taught that their children, defined as unmarried offspring, would be led by God THROUGH their fathers. They were taught that there were times when parents should pray that God take a child home rather than see them continue on a path that brought dishonor to the Lord and hurt the family's testimony. They were taught that God would hold them accountable for the way their children turned out; that THEY would be responsible for lack of teaching or direction if the child strayed as an adult.
The TEACHING betrayed both parent and child.
It not only justified the control you condemn, it taught that failure to control was failure to lead as a godly parent.
It paralyzed children into believing that they COULD NOT hear from God. But no worries, the voice your parent WAS the voice of God.
Is it any wonder that so many who have had to break the toxic ties with controlling parents question the existence of God?
All they ever knew of Him were His heavy-handed "enforcers", who stood before the curtain, crying, "Unworthy. You are unable to hear the voice of the Most High."
Eventually they believed it and walked away.
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Thank God that i didn't have to go through ati. But I have had an extremely similar life and it is confusing and painful. I am 23 and my parents are slowly (very slowly) coming off of the Gothardized teaching s from the seminar. Our church started having the seminar every year 10 years ago. The feeling of not being able to disagree with the teachings was almost oppressive. I went through a time in my life that I decided to agree wholeheartedly with what was taught. I was extremely judgemental of others who did not believe the same way as the teachings and I was very vocal about it. There was even one time that our family burned a lot of movies, records, cds and books. I live in fear of my mother knowing that i listen to music. That is sad because I am an adult, but not considered an adult by the Gothard teaching. Sometimes I feel like I am trapped by this.
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