esbee { "wearing jeans and playing sports" that Mr. Bill is quite a piece of work!!!! } – May 23, 9:34 PM

Wes { What a beautiful story of redemption! Wow. Praise God! } – May 23, 8:28 PM

Jessica { Oh wow!! By the time I got to the end of your story it just made me want to sing and shout!! I'm so glad you are here today, full of grace and willing to share your story with us!! Your courage and raw honesty is so powerful!! Thank you!! Hugs!!! } – May 23, 12:50 PM

grateful { Thank you for your bravery in sharing your story. It is a true picture of the Lord's mercy and love for us. God bless! } – May 23, 12:02 PM

StaceyM { Thanks, guys!! It really means a lot, when i put myself out there and DON'T get shunned! I know that a lot of people struggle with or have family members that struggle with addiction! I really want my story to encourage some who is at their bottom and give hope... There IS life (A GREAT ONE) waiting for them!!! } – May 23, 11:35 AM

LJ { I too had tears in my eyes as I read your story. What a beautiful story of transformation--as you turned to the Lord and realized how truly wonderful He is--not the Lord that Bill Gothard has made Him into. Your husband is truly a gracious person to continue to have loved you through so many difficult times. So happy to read that your marriage has been restored. God's grace is truly amazing and overwhelming! You and your husband are testimonies of that fact! } – May 23, 10:14 AM

Heather { This is incredible! What a beautiful picture of redemption and hope! Thank you for sharing, friend! } – May 23, 9:15 AM

Shelly { Your story made me cry! What a beautiful, beautiful picture of God's redemption. He is a master at turning our messes into His messages of grace. Thank you for sharing your amazing story. } – May 23, 9:05 AM

Diane { I just found this website - We were involved with IBYC in the 70's as adults in ministry - and I'm so glad so to see a website devoted to exposing this. I appreciated this article on forgiveness too as there is so much confusion about the Biblical definition of forgiveness even among Christians who have never been involved with Bill Gothard's teachings. I think I would have to add a Myth #7 to the list: Forgiveness is not the same as reconciliation. God bless your work here. } – May 23, 8:10 PM

grateful { Thank you Ryan. Excellent insight and discernment about motives, that makes a lot of sense. I cannot help but be fascinated by reading how these teachings (BG's) truly affected those of you brought up in "the system." You will not fully understand the service you are providing this side of eternity - I, for one, have been blessed and have had my eyes opened. } – May 23, 5:25 PM

RyanR { Great article! I found Max Lucado's stuff to be so refreshing even while on staff at ITC (I used to check them out from the Indianapolis Library back when ITC was allowed to go there). The line about legalism being the search for innocence - not forgiveness really resonated with me. To answer grateful's question is difficult. I think legalism is a common word, but for many the application differs. I do believe what matters most when considering legalism is motive. WHY am I doing this. I think two people can approach the same discipline and for one it's just that (a discipline) and for another it is legalism. In ATI, so much emphasis was put on things that had to be done to be acceptable to God, rather than teaching that we were acceptable because of what Christ already did. So for me, clearing my conscience took on an incredibly perverse spirit as I searched to make myself right with God by trying to track down every single person I'd ever wronged whether they knew it or not. Ultimately where God led me was to rest in what He'd already done. From time to time, I'll cross paths with... } – May 23, 3:58 PM

grateful { Don, thank you. For the record, I have pretty much rejected BG because of his twisting scriptures, etc. (and thank you RG for bringing to light some rather disturbing stories and testimonies) However, I was saved from a dreadfully sinful background and my life in Christ is radically different that how I once lived. (it's fun to go to reunions and share with my old running buddies) So I get nervous when Christians pine about "things" they missed out on as teens because of "legalism" I want to shout, "no, you were protected!" Isn't it just simple wisdom (or prudence) to put up barriers between oneself and a sin? Is it legalism to advocate stopping behavior pattern x because it leads to bondage y? I don't mean to hijack this article, so forgive my ramblings.... } – May 22, 9:44 AM

esbee { The problems Jesus had while on earth came from all the "religious" folk, i.e. Pharisees, i.e.legalists. They were very critical of Jesus and his disciples when they went into a field to eat some grain on the Sabbath because they were hungry. The Pharisees proclaimed that the Law stated no work should be done on the Sabbath. And their interpretation of the Law about not working on the Sabbath included picking some grain to feed yourself. Of course, Jesus had a wise answer for them. Even today, devout Jews will not do work on the Sabbath, even to the point of not turning on a light switch when entering a room. My brother was with a person of devout Jewish belief who asked him to turn on the light for him. My brother asked why and was told it was a sin to work on the Sabbath. My brother said, "but you do not mind making me commit a sin." Unfortunately my brother became very legalistic in his religion, Seventh Day Adventists. Talk about legalism. They have their own recovering website from having grown up in a very legalistic religion and breaking away from such. } – May 21, 9:20 PM

elizabeth ann seton { Referencing the Catholic priests who were pedaphiles: I am a Catholic and one priest said it correctly. There is always a gradual, but consistent breakdown in the prayer life that preceeds the actions of someone who eventually succumbs to committing this evil. I agree. } – May 23, 8:19 AM

MatthewS { Nanci, I'm guessing your overall experience that you refer to here was all many years ago? The name Institute in Basic Youth Conflicts was changed to Institute in Basic Life Principles (IBLP) in 1989. The homeschool program Advanced Training Institute of America (ATIA), which was later shortened to Advanced Training Institute, was started in 1984. If you don't mind my asking, why did you disagree with his opinions about Christian Rock music? I also disagree with him, so I'm not questioning you, I'm genuinely curious. He has not backed down any on that, btw. You can see a letter from him about RG and other former students here: http://www.recoveringgrace.org/media/Letter-from-Bill-Gothard.pdf (and a response to that letter here: http://www.recoveringgrace.org/2012/01/a-response-to-bill-gothard/) He claims that the music opens a door to unclean spirits, and he's blaming a lot of issues on that. Many former students would claim that the music was not to blame at all, but rather the problems are genuine issues that resulted from attempting to do the Gothard program in good faith - many (including me) feel that the program failed them. Some have decided to leave all religion behind entirely, some have had an entirely new experience with grace and a... } – May 22, 5:38 PM

Nanci Schwartz { What am I missing?? We took our 3 sons to the Institute in Basic Youth Conflicts seminar, and I remember nothing about he recommending Home Schools. The teachings we received were good, basic, and I learned from them. Did questionable teachings happen in other seminars? The literature we received was good. I never felt anything was questionable, except his strong opinions on Christian Rock music. I gained from his teachings so many years ago. } – May 22, 3:59 PM

grateful { Barf - dude, it's your sister ... } – May 22, 1:09 PM

grateful { Totally disagree, its just a matter of giving into the lusts of the flesh. If your right arm causes you to sin, cut it off. i.e. figure out a way to get the sin into the light - painful, yes; worth it, absolutely. Pride, as is often the case, is the culprit .... } – May 22, 1:08 PM

Red { You are incredibly naive if you think a young man can't get sexually stimulated by his sister. It's in his best interests to exercise discretion and be sensitive to this very real part of the male experience. } – May 21, 8:32 PM

grateful { Reality TV is a sad by-product of a narcissistic, self indulgent society. I could rant about this subject endlessly, but this is probably not the place for it .... } – May 22, 12:59 PM

Alfred Corduan { I have a lengthy response to all of that . . . but in the interest of keeping the thread on track and not all about the Duggars, I will defer. For the record, our show would not be called "Corduan Chronicles" but "Alfie Boo Boo". } – May 22, 11:54 AM

Alfred Corduan { Well said. } – May 22, 12:24 PM

MatthewS { We are just wrapping up a series on 1 John at our church. I really like the image of walking in the light. On one hand, don't kid yourself, you do have sin. On the other hand, don't just give up and wallow in it. Walk in the light. It doesn't mean you are some horrible screw-up when you discover sin, it just means you are normal. But the right response isn't "oh well, I'm normal, I sin" but it is to bring it into the light and keep on walking in the light. } – May 22, 11:10 AM

Alfred Corduan { I have had similar experiences to the author, to an agonizing degree as a young person, and also concur that the precision with which that issue (clearing your conscience) is handled in seminars is not completely accurate. There is guilt which is echos of past sins, as real as they were, that have in fact been completely and correctly handled. Sort of like the "phantom pains" that linger after illnesses such as shingles. The "pain" is just a signal to consciously get back to the place where they were dealt with and thank God. The notion of confessing faults to others IS scriptural and, it its place, healthy: "Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much." (James 5:16) This is often a necessary part of the process of "walking in the light", exposing the corners of darkness. But - it can't cleanse sin, it only helps us be stronger to avoid future sin. The cleansing, forgiveness is all Jesus' blood, claimed and possessed. } – May 22, 10:57 AM

Rachel { "One trigger away from a rant." Oh, good. I'm not the only one. } – May 22, 12:20 PM