I wish that I could tell you the whole story of how God rescued me and healed me, but that would take at least ten posts. I will say this: it was personal, intimate, and totally tailored to where I was each step of the way. God kept bringing the right friend, the right book, the right message, the right quote, the right mentor, or whatever I needed at exactly the right time.

So how did I get out of legalism? Two words: God & friends.

I had a lot of fear when all of this started happening to me. I knew that something was wrong, but I didn’t know what. I had no idea what God would uncover in my life. I was afraid of pain, afraid of the unknown, afraid to lose control. However, I decided to trust God and let Him open whatever areas He needed to. He didn’t let me down; He was very gentle.

And, yes, there has been pain as well. Sometimes intense, emotional pain. But it was never without the compensation of joy. Sometimes overwhelming joy. I discovered that shutting out painful emotions also shuts out the positive ones. So as I dealt with the negative emotions, the positive ones became free to express themselves again.

This journey was not something that I accomplished. There were many times that I knew some area needed change or healing. At first, I would get frustrated and try to change it, but you can probably guess how well that worked. Eventually, I started learning to just rest and trust. To let Him work in His time. There were times that I would say to Him, “God, I know this area of my life is not good. Whenever you are ready to go there and clean it up, I am willing.” Then I would refuse to feel guilty and just rest and be ready when He came.

God isn’t done with me yet. That is the beauty of a relationship with Him. He never gives up on us!