About the author
Eliza is a young woman who was burned by legalism, but then discovered that Jesus already kept the law for her. Her desire is to get to know Him better. She was in ATI for over 20 years.
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I wish that I could tell you the whole story of how God rescued me and healed me, but that would take at least ten posts. I will say this: it was personal, intimate, and totally tailored to where I was each step of the way. God kept bringing the right friend, the right book, the right message, the right quote, the right mentor, or whatever I needed at exactly the right time.
So how did I get out of legalism? Two words: God & friends.
GOD:
Who knew my desire for Him
Who patiently waited for me to be ready
Who came to me
Who gently shone His light into my cell
Who gave me genuine choices
Who smiled at me
Who loved me no matter what choice I made
Who spoke without speaking
Who held me close while I cried
Who showed me my heart
Who walked with me every step of the way
Who promised to help me tear down the walls
Who promised to help me clean up the toxic waste
Who helped create beauty where there had been darkness and chaos
Who has never given up on me
FRIENDS:
Who loved unconditionally
Who looked beyond the walls to see the real me
Who loved me even when I hid from them
Who listened and listened and listened
Who gave when I was afraid to receive
Who gently insisted that I receive
Who validated pain
Who gently reasoned against slavery
Who gave me courage
Who cheered at the smallest progress
Who recommended resources
Who told me the truth
Who taught me that friends are essential
Who were real, yet imperfect
Who taught me to see beauty
I had a lot of fear when all of this started happening to me. I knew that something was wrong, but I didn’t know what. I had no idea what God would uncover in my life. I was afraid of pain, afraid of the unknown, afraid to lose control. However, I decided to trust God and let Him open whatever areas He needed to. He didn’t let me down; He was very gentle.
And, yes, there has been pain as well. Sometimes intense, emotional pain. But it was never without the compensation of joy. Sometimes overwhelming joy. I discovered that shutting out painful emotions also shuts out the positive ones. So as I dealt with the negative emotions, the positive ones became free to express themselves again.
This journey was not something that I accomplished. There were many times that I knew some area needed change or healing. At first, I would get frustrated and try to change it, but you can probably guess how well that worked. Eventually, I started learning to just rest and trust. To let Him work in His time. There were times that I would say to Him, “God, I know this area of my life is not good. Whenever you are ready to go there and clean it up, I am willing.” Then I would refuse to feel guilty and just rest and be ready when He came.
God isn’t done with me yet. That is the beauty of a relationship with Him. He never gives up on us!
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