Shortly after I joined the Institute in Basic Life Principles (IBLP) staff in 1992, I went on a two-week ministry trip to Moscow, Russia, that was preceded by a very long car ride from Oak Brook, Illinois, to JFK airport. Somewhere between this car trip and returning from Russia, I learned a very important rule of Advanced Training Institute (ATI) etiquette: the holiest Christians are those who find hidden/overlooked Scriptures and find a way to translate them into some life change.
One young woman told me how she’d used to exclaim, “Oh mercy!” But she was convicted about using the expression flippantly, quoting some random verse that spoke about both God and mercy.
Then there were the ATI students who publicly repented for the sin of exaggeration, usually illustrated with some testimony of how the fish was “THIS BIG!!!” but in reality, it was only “this big.”
It wasn’t too long before I took to the Scriptures to find my own overlooked verses that needed to be applied with all diligence. Because all good ATI families began their mornings with Wisdom Searches (reading five chapters from Psalms and one from Proverbs each day), it shouldn’t be surprising that I found mine in Proverbs 26:18–19 “Like a madman who throws firebrands, arrows and death, so is the man who deceives his neighbor and says, ‘Was I not joking’?” I recoiled in horror as I realized how frequently I would say something outlandish in an effort to be funny, only to follow it by saying, “Oh, I’m just kidding!”
Oh no! I was violating some Scriptural principle here. I purposed in my heart that I would no longer do this and that I would use this as a testimony of what God had shown me in His word — secretly hoping that everyone else didn’t know this already and that I would be thought of as extra-Godly for being so wise in discovering and applying this Biblical truth.
Unfortunately, old habits die hard. I’d find myself slipping here or there. Immediately, I’d sorrow over my sin and seek forgiveness. More often than not, I’d find myself asking for someone’s forgiveness for my deception.
As if my own personally found nugget of wisdom weren’t enough to burden me, I found myself burdened by those others had shared with me. I remember one time sharing my testimony in a staff meeting and trying to illustrate how even though I was familiar with a concept, I managed to completely disregard it, I said something along the lines of, “I knew that thing backwards, forwards, and in Chinese!”
That night I was haunted by what I had said. The next day, I stood up in a staff meeting to ask the entire staff to forgive me for not being truthful. In fact, I only knew the concept forward (not backwards), and I do not speak Chinese.
So what happened?
First, there was the very well-known and respected speaker at ATI events who happened to visit the Indianapolis Training Center. After a few days of listening to all of us share these nuggets of Scriptural truth we’d all found, he spoke at a staff meeting and chastised us for building doctrines from verses in Psalms and Proverbs. These were wisdom books, he explained. Doctrine should come from the Gospels and the epistles. I had a lot of respect for this guy. Everyone did. Were we making things more complicated than they needed to be?
A year or so later, after I’d left IBLP staff, I was at a large local Bible study on Wednesday evening and the nationally-known speaker was talking about Jesus’ words in Matthew 7 about the hypocrite with the log in his own eye offering to help his brother with the speck in his. The speaker said that Jesus was using “hyperbole” (a term I’d never heard before), which he explained was “exaggeration for the sake of illustration.”
Say what? Jesus exaggerated? How could that be? Jesus was the Way, the Truth, and the Life. How could He exaggerate? This really got me thinking. Was exaggerating really untruthful? The conclusion I came to was: it depends. Sometimes it can be — such as when you’re selling something and you overstate its properties. However, at other times, in certain contexts, everyone understands that you’re exaggerating to make your point. Such as when I said I knew the concept backward, forward, and in Chinese. Or with the fish stories. Everyone understood the points we had been trying to make.
This line of thinking prompted me to go back and re-review my little “pearl” of wisdom. As I looked closely, I noticed something I’d skimmed over previously, “Like a madman who throws firebrands, arrows, and death, so is the man who deceives his neighbor and says, ‘Was I not joking’?” Had I really been deceiving my neighbors when I ran around saying “I’m just kidding” all the time? Unlikely. I had no design to deceive anyone, and everyone had understood that I was just being silly for humor’s sake.
With this realization came the freedom to relax a little and enjoy life. To enjoy spending time with my brothers and sisters in Christ. To crack some jokes here or there. And to laugh a lot. I don’t know about you, but I’m finding that laughter and joy typically go hand in hand. And in my experience, a joyful Christian is a much better testimony than a heavily burdened Christian. I kid you not.
I love your article to bits and pieces. No exaggeration. ;)
Proverbs also says "A merry heart does good like a medicine, but a broken spirit makes one sick." And isn't joy one of the fruits of the spirit? We laugh a lot at my church, and many times I have heard my father thank God for the laughter we experience.
I still remember how burdened I felt after Teacher training at CI's when they talked about a Clear Conscience/Truthfulness. I remember asking the Teacher Trainer about exaggeration and used the example: "There were thousands of flies". I knew I used exaggeration often in my speech and was so burdened that I had been "untruthful". The Teacher trainer basically told me that if it was not accurate, I should not say it. I also felt guilty about saying things like: "Oh my goodness" (because there is a Psalm that says "God is my Goodness". It becomes so difficult to communicate freely with others when you are constantly worrying about saying the wrong thing. I do believe we are accountable for our words, actions and attitudes, but I believe our motivation behind it is much more important than what we say or do.
Thanks for sharing, Ryan.
I too encountered that verse during my ATI days and I was "convicted" to simplify my speech and not abuse sarcasm, etc. I think that was a very real conviction of the Holy Spirit, but I also had to learn not to then twist that direction from the Spirit into legalistic overburdening. I had been indiscriminate and hurtful at times. But I needn't have felt so guilty about others.
Often, God is speaking to us through "principles" to guide our lives.--not literalistic rules. These are not the "non-optional" principles of Bill Gothard, but optional in nature. They are very real perspective to balance our life with, under which sometimes we need to be limited and sometimes not.
I love this! I remember a woman at my previous church (who oddly enough, didn't care that much for Gothard, but was still influenced by his teachings) constantly apologize with tears in her eyes because she'd told a joke. She made it out to be some great sin, and I was influenced by her convictions in this area, and quickly picked up on the habit myself. The next few years of my life were very boring, I tried to change my personality. Not cool. Telling a joke, how was that sinful, especially when people knew you were joking, and found the joke funny? I am not bashing the woman in question, she is a very sincere person, well respected, etc..
Ryan, I can so identify with your article. Thanks for sharing.
I had forgotten about how it was ungodly to exaggerate! But I, too, eschewed exaggeration-for-the-sake-of-humor for a while. It didn't last because my whole family talks that way. And, I might add, we're all pretty funny.
I remember telling one ITC teammate, "I have a teensy problem with exaggeration, and a HUGE problem with understatement!" I don't think she got the joke, but then, she wasn't an exaggerator.
Love the point about not getting doctrine from Psalms and Proverbs. At least YOU were listening.
The Institute teaching on this does create huge burdens. I remember teaching the Commands of Christ material on truthfulness on the missionfield. My teaching partner (who normally was someone who would say things that weren't true and then say "Just kidding") ended up ended up telling our students things like if you tell yourself you are going to do something and then don't, you are lying. Talk about making impossible rules!
I remember that teaching! I remember living in daily horror and despair that I would grow up a good for nothing if I forgot to do something, or was otherwise unable to do something! And my parents sure didn't forget to load the guilt trip on me for that kind of stuff! Isn't there a Scripture in the NT that says, 'Let your yays be yays, and your nays be nays, but don't vow at all.. something something? As if saying, 'after lunch, I'll finish cleaning my room.' and then not doing it because something came up, is lying to yourself? I think not...
Yes! I can identify with this type of thing. How many silly rules did we make for ourselves or adopt from others? It certainly did take the joy out of life!
LOL! (Yes, I really did!) Thanks.
Great piece, Ryan!
When I studied Hebrew, I was surprised by how much wordplay, figures of speech, etc. are in the Old Testament. It made it all come more alive for me. Jesus was a real person who used real language, the prophets and other writers of Scripture before him, the same.
In general we are drawn to people who are able to communicate in creative, winsome, and enjoyable-to-listen-to ways.
This is hearsay and maybe I shouldn't repeat it, but... I know someone who sat in an early Basic Seminar. He was surprised to hear Gothard tell one of the stories because he himself had heard that story previously from someone else, and he knew the person it had happened to. And yet Gothard told the story first-hand as though it had happened to him. So that is second-hand to me and third-hand to anyone I repeat it to, but I trust the person who told me. For him, that was the moment he knew that Gothard was not trustworthy.
For entirely separate reasons, I have a deep suspicion of many stories that Gothard tells. I have met some of the people behind some of the stories. I have heard later about some of the glowing reports that the glow was long gone but the testimony was still being repeated, etc. I was naive enough as a kid to believe comments that were tossed around without any supporting evidence, comments such as "scientists now say..." or "business leaders all over the country are telling me..."
Just like swallowing camels and straining gnats, picking at expressions like "oh my goodness" and "I've told you a million times not to exaggerate" is not productive but being trustworthy when you recount testimonies and personal examples, not to mention when you claim to report scientific information, is important.
My Dad contacted BG once about exaggerating. He started realizing that students who were there when things happened laughed about the reports of those events in the newsletters. Unfortunately, it was at the same time that I wrote to him about the deception I was seeing at CI's. When learning about "the generous skunk cabbage," we were all fed "skunk cabbage" so we could see what it tasted like. My kids kept asking if it was really skunk cabbage and I assured them that it was because the CI staff wouldn't lie to us. Anyway, I started suspecting that it wasn't, so I asked someone in front of my students. He sheepishly admitted that it wasn't real skunk cabbage but was made to taste like it. Anyway, BG heard from my dad and me at about the same time. My dad received a very sharp rebuke for contaminating me with his bad attitude.
What a head-trip: on one hand, a student feels burdened by more and more false guilt and is trying harder and harder to speak in acceptable ways, far beyond any normal concern. On the other hand, Bill himself does not even follow normal rules of honesty in reporting. And if you dare question the "Lord's anointed", even in an honest attempt to understand, you are to be rebuked for asking and your question will be swept away unanswered.
The apostle Paul demonstrated an attitude of encouraging people to look into his record and to search out what he said. Bill, however, slaps you down for anything approaching an honest question. I did not speak to him often, but there were a couple times I asked him an honest question - the two times in particular that stand out were at ITC and at HQ in Oak Brook. I did my best to ask respectfully and the questions were honest. I was not a rebel and I was not trying to debate. Each time, he instantly turne cold and irritated. He shut down the conversation, glared at me, and then flipped the switch to make me invisible.
I stopped believing Gothard when in my experience he many times failed his own definition for truthfulness: "Earning future trust by accurately reporting past facts."
Skunk cabbage? I'm sure glad it wasn't skunk cabbage. It's toxic if eaten raw. My uncle almost died b/c he ate it wild. Why on earth would you be using skunk cabbage for anything other than herbal medicine?
Ummm....it was an object lesson. The generous skunk cabbage saved the life of a bee. (Really dumb, iirc.) They said that skunk cabbage was really spicy. I don't remember if they said you had to cook it in order to eat it, but I think they fed us spiced up cabbage. My problem was they said we were eating skunk cabbage. They lied.
I frequently had skunk cabbage in college, but we are probably not talking about the same thing ... and that is no exaggeration :)
This is some serious bondage ... feeling guilty for simply exaggerating or cutting up? I'm glad I only attended a few Basics and even came away feeling like I had grown spiritually. Thank the Lord thats as far as it went.
Wow, that really takes me back...I vaguely recall that CI and think we called it 'genuine imitation skunk cabbage!'
Thanks very much for this article. I was involved in ATI while in highschool and am also learning to live by grace rather than by legalistic systems. I can totally relate to this article. I used to walk on eggshells all the time as a teenager...evaluating, and reevaluating to make sure that I hadn't made any mistakes..thinking that the Holy Spirit would some how tackle me and punish me if I ever made a wrong turn...I know obey the Lord..not out of a dreadful fear of failing at any single turn, but because I love Him and want to do his will...and when I fall short..I sincerely want to confess my sin...but I don't live my days in fear any more-worrying that I will destroy my own life by missing something everyday. Thanks very much for this article! God Bless.
Well said! It is odd to me now, how we all tried to find these "hidden nuggets" to burden ourselves with. It was as though we weren't really spiritual enough unless we had something to share. Thanks for writing this!
It's crazy how we think we can make ourselves more acceptable to God by following more rules! Thanks for the article. It helps me on my journey.
During one of my stints in Russia BG came with 50 harmonicas. He said something about wanting a 50-Man Harmonica Choir. Me and a couple girl friends mustered our courage and went up to BG asking if we could have one. He said, "Will you learn to play it?" I solemnly answered, "Yes." For years I kept the silly thing in a box in my room feeling so guilty that I hadn't kept my word! About 10 years later, I kid you not :-), my husband suggested I throw the harmonica away. I did.
Well, at least it wasn't a harp, right ;-)
I wonder which would be worse: a 50 harmonica group or a 50 bagpipe group?
Seriously!
Ha ha! That's funny! I remember that... Hey, we fixed BG's silly little idea by playing for him at 4am as he was getting ready to leave for the airport to return to the US. All he could say was, "Well.... You all just keep practicing...." ha! I could tell we did not have a future for the Knoxville stage with this choir!! :)
If I remember right, we tried to play "It will be worth it all." Um...come to think of it...maybe the problem was the time and choice of music??!
Ha ha ha ha! Loving all comments! They strike a chord with me and i wil give a hearty 'Amen!'to what the resounding message is here. Bring on LIFE, real life,unburdened. Free to live in Christ with love and joy saved by grace through faith living by faith.