Which one of us does not want to stop mistreating our families? Which one of us does not want to stop “raising our voices” at our children or spouse? To stop allowing our eyes to wander and our hearts to lust? The list could go on.Who wants to say, “No, actually, I like all those things.”We desperately want to be free from the sins that so easily ensnare us. We yearn to have freedom–to be like the Lord Jesus. The Christian’s heart wants to feel like He does, think like He does, simply to be like He is. Yet it seems that we find ourselves constantly tempted by, and losing to, the same thing again and again.
There must be something we can do!? There must be some steps or actions we can take that will provide us with the power to bind those lusts and thwart those temptations. Aren’t there?
Yes, there are.
But, not all are equal–and not all are powerful.
Ultimate Power?
One means of help that people turn to, and that Bill Gothard promotes strongly, is the vow.[i] In fact, for Gothard the vow is a unique power tool in the Christian’s toolbox of holiness. On the back cover of his book, The Power of Personal Vows, we are told that youth are leaving the faith because they don’t have the “power that first-century Christians experienced” including “the power of personal vows.”[ii]
For Gothard, a vow is directly tied to Divine resources just waiting to be distributed. He writes, “Those who make vows tap into the rich treasures of God’s power, protection, promotion, and provision.”[iii] In line with this thought, we are told that only a vow will truly enable moral purity in our contemporary setting:
“With the lure of nudity and the invasion of privacy over the Internet, I do not see how it is possible for a young person today to escape the corruption and addiction of pornography without a firm vow to God.”[iv]
Statements like these can lead the reader to think they won’t have any “help” from God if they don’t make at least one vow. The temptation is great: “I need to make as many vows as possible so I can have God’s power.” Then, almost without realizing what’s going on, the person finds himself with all manner of promises to God, such as never marrying a divorced person, not marrying until a certain age, reading your Bible for so many minutes a day, or never going into a theater.
The result of all this vowing is far from the desired goal. Rather than feeling closer to the Lord and filled with new spiritual strength, the emptiness and weakness remains. All they have now are more rules (vows) to keep. This is a heavy burden–and an ungodly burden that has been laid on many.
This new burdened situation can lead to a sense of deep regret. At the center of their new heart, the Christian simply wanted to follow the Lord and grow in their walk with Him. Now, instead of joy and freedom, they feel deceived–even betrayed–by someone whom they thought was helping them. Rather than freedom, they’ve apparently bound themselves to a whole lot of unhelpful and even spiritually damaging vows.[v]
Now What?
First, we need to understand what the truth is: a Christian will not miss out on the Lord’s blessing or on His grace if he or she does not make any vows. In fact, we’re told that it is perfectly okay–and, sometimes, even wise–to not make a vow (Deuteronomy 23:22; Ecclesiastes 5:5).
Second, we should recognize that vows do not appear in the New Testament as a means of power for a “victorious” Christian life, nor as a necessary part of sanctification (growing in holiness). It is significant that the apostle Paul, who made at least one vow that we know of,[vi] does not specifically tell us to make vows as a way to be holy or to gain “power.” Instead, he tells us to “walk in the Spirit and you will not fulfill the lust of the flesh” (Galatians 5:16). Again he says, “The fruit of the Spirit [i.e. the Spirit’s fruit] is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control” (Galatians 5:22-23). This is what’s needed: God’s Spirit.
A vow is simply a statement–usually made with the voice–of what a person intends to do or not do regarding a particular subject. That declaration, however, has no ability to enable the person to actually do what they intend; neither does that declaration have the power to keep a person from doing something. And, more importantly, a vow does not “tap into the rich treasures of God’s power, protection, promotion, and provision.” When a vow seems to fail, it’s because the vow never had any power to begin with.
Third, there is a possibility of being freed from a vow made to the Lord. This must be pursued with care, though. The Lord expects us to be faithful to our word just as He is to His. He always says what He means and always keeps what He says. We, however, are afflicted with sin; we are corrupted by it in every part of our beings. Therefore, we tend to be people who break our word, or make provisional statements: “I’ll do such-and-such if this-or-that happens.” Making and sticking to commitments is difficult for us. Part of redemption is God changing us on the inside so that we look more and more like Him, including our speech (Zephaniah 3:9).
Even if we’ve made a rash vow, we cannot simply declare it to be null-and-void. Each vow should be taken on its own to determine whether it’s valid or useful before seeking the Lord for it to be revoked. It is not a trivial matter to seek release from a vow.[vii] Simply because a vow is uncomfortable does not mean it is revocable.
Directions
A vow has two sides–the one making the vow and the one receiving the vow. The one making the vow binds himself (or herself) to a particular course of action that they were not necessarily bound to previously.[viii] The one receiving the vow accepts that stated course of action.
In some situations, it is possible to be released from the vow by the one to whom the vow was made.[ix] An example of this is found in Proverbs 6:1-5. If the person to whom you made the vow releases you, then you are released. If that person does not release you, then you are not released. If you are not released, then the words of Psalm 15:4 must become your support: “He swears to his own hurt and does not change.” If the vow you made was a “foolish/rash” vow, then you may ask the Lord to change the person’s heart so they would release you. But until then, remain faithful to your word just as the Lord keeps His word to you.
If you vowed to the Lord, you must keep your vow: Ecclesiastes 5:1-4.[x] The assumption in the Ecclesiastes passage is that the vow is very temporary–as most vows were to be (cf. Deuteronomy 23:21-23). Temporary vows are relatively easy to pay. However, we sometimes make lifelong vows often assuming such vows can be (easily) carried out, that it pleases the Lord to bind ourselves for life, or any other such ideas. As time passes and we mature in the Lord, we recognize at least some of those vows as rash, immature, and even based on errant beliefs about God. We then wonder if He will release us from those things.
If man, being made in God’s image, is given the freedom to release another man from a vow, then we should reasonably expect the same from God. His greatest concern is for His glory.[xi] If something does not serve–or no longer serves–His glory, then we should expect Him to release us.[xii] As Paul writes, “It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery” (Galatians 5:1).[xiii]
We must recognize the reason(s) we made each vow. Was it made based on false or errant teaching?[xiv] Was it based on presumption of the future?[xv] In these cases, and similar ones, it would appear legitimate to acknowledge the faulty reasons and reasoning for the vow, confess that to the Lord, and ask Him to release you from it.
The following are offered to help in evaluating a vow when seeking its annulment.[xvi]
1. We cannot vow to do something [expressly] forbidden in the Word of God, or what would hinder us to do anything [expressly] commanded in it.[xvii]
2. We are not permitted to make a vow to do something that “is not in [our] own power” to do and is not promised by God that we’ll have the power to do.[xviii]
3. A vow cannot bind us to do something that is impossible.[xix]
4. A vow can be annulled by a girl’s father, or wife’s husband, upon hearing about it. She is under his protective authority (Numbers 30:1-16.).[xx]
5. A vow cannot be made by a person destitute of the right or ability to bind themselves of their own will.[xxi]
6. A vow cannot continue to bind when observing it is clearly inconsistent with our spiritual interests–it is certain that God does not desire the vow: a promise can never bind when the party to whom it is made does not desire it kept.
7. When the matter of a vow is morally indifferent, the vow is binding. (But experience abundantly proves that accumulating these obligations is very injurious. The Word of God imposes upon us all that it is God’s will or for our interest for us to observe. The multiplication of self-imposed duties dishonors him, and greatly . . . endangers our safety. Vows [need to] be restricted to the duties imposed by God and plainly revealed in the Scriptures with the help of His grace.)
Salvation
Our walk with the Lord is a lifelong process in which we are continually being sanctified (Philippians 1:6). Unfortunately, we’re so often presented with quick fixes or shortcuts to holiness. The sometimes difficult truth is: there are no quickie ways to get there. Paul reminds us that even he had not arrived but continually pressed on toward the mark (Philippians 3:12).
The vows we really need to pay attention to are the ones our God makes to us: “I am with you always” (Matthew 28:20); “I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5).
Now, there’s the real power and the real blessing.
Our God is not waiting on us to “do something” in order to bless us and be gracious to us. We are not dependent on ourselves for His provision. It is while we were still helpless enemies of His that Christ died for us–it is certain that with Him we will be freely given all things necessary for life and godliness.
[i] A vow is a promise made to God or to others.
[ii] The Power of Personal Vows: A “New” Approach to a Consecrated Life, Oak Brook, IL: Institute in Basic Life Principles, 2009. See also p.1.
[iii] PPV, p. 37.
[iv] PPV, p.10.
[v] In PPV, Gothard, himself, tells of seven vows he made (pp.7-12). Later, he encourages his readers to make 10 separate vows – only one or two of which are the ones he made.
[vi] Acts 18:18. It is significant that although other Christians made vows, too – Acts 21:23-26 – we’re never led to conclude that vow-making is necessary, or a means of “power” in Christian living.
[vii] Although Gothard recognizes the seriousness of making vows, he gives himself “wiggle room” in strict adherence to his vows. For example, on p. 12 of PPV, he tells of his promise to “talk to an average of three people a day about the Lord.” However, he goes on to say that he has not kept that vow almost from the point of making it. Instead, he’s “caught up” by talking to large groups rather than individuals on a daily basis. He also mentions this in the Basic Seminar, explaining that the seminar, itself, is a fulfillment of his vow. The truly dangerous matter this thinking promotes is works-righteousness: “It’s okay to not keep my word – I can always make up for it later.”
[viii] E.g. vowing to read your Bible five minutes a day for the rest of your life binds you to a specific amount of time that is not already part of God’s revealed requirements for you. But, vowing to be a “faithful, loving and devoted husband/wife” is something that’s already required of spouses (cf. Genesis 2:23-24; Ephesians 5:22-33).
[ix] Some vows, such as marriage vows, are not revocable because they come with a covenant. A covenant is a binding relationship normally broken only by death. This is the meaning of the covenant rites, for example, in Genesis 15. The animals are cut in half and laid on either side of a pathway. The two parties making the covenant (i.e. binding themselves together in a new relationship) walk together between the pieces. They would normally recite something like, “May what has happened to these animals [i.e. death] happen to me if I break this covenant.” Only upon actual death of a covenant maker was the covenant broken. Even then, some covenants, like the one in Genesis 15, extended to the descendants of the original parties. Notice in Genesis 15 that only the Lord walk between the pieces of the dead animals. By doing this, He’s saying, “I will uphold both sides of this covenant – so that if you or I break this it, then may what happened to these animals happen to me.” We know the rest of the story – Abraham broke the covenant (Genesis 16) – and the Lord died (on a cross).
[x] Normally, vows are temporary commitments. Only rarely in Scripture do we see lifelong vows: e.g. Samson and John the Baptist. In each case, the vow originated with the Lord. In other words, He put the conditions on each man – they did not put it on themselves. (Judges 13:3-7; Luke 1:15)
[xi] I Corinthians 10:31.
[xii] Does the vow injure your witness? Does it unnecessarily separate you from fellowship with other Christians? These and other questions might be helpful in considering a vow and whether to seek release.
[xiii] This specifically deals with circumcision; but, Paul’s point is that we are free from binding ourselves to/by laws and rules to gain or keep God’s favor (see verse 3; cf. Colossians 2:20-23). The Lord calls us to be merciful, and so to obtain mercy (Matthew 5:7). Part mercy is forgiving another person of rash statements against us and rash vows to us. When we see that person suffering, or experiencing undue burden, we long to extend mercy to them. This is a quality of God within us – part of His image. As such, we can expect the same of God.
[xiv] For example, perceiving divorce as a sin worthy of ostracism so that you vow to never marry a divorced person. This at least comes close to setting divorce as the unforgivable sin, which it is not (Mark 3:28-29).
[xv] For example, promising to “never do such-and-such [again].” We neither know the future nor our obligations in the future. Several years ago, a friend vowed to never watch TV again. I don’t know the exact reasons for his vow, but, when he made the vow, he was unaware of his future calling. His career is of such that he could be required to watch TV in order to fulfill his responsibilities. Additionally, his family or friends might want him to watch TV with them for fellowship. To watch would fulfill the second great commandment (“love your neighbor”). Of course, it’s assumed that the program’s moral content is acceptable. Further, would watching a VHS tape or DVD on a TV be considered “watching TV”?)
[xvi] These come from A.A. Hodge’s The Westminster Confession of Faith: A Commentary, Carlisle, PA: The Banner of Truth Trust, 2002; pp. 286-292.
[xvii] It is possible to vow a course of action that is sin. The primary point here, as with the other points, is permission, not ability. We are not permitted to vow such things, though we are capable of vowing them.
[xviii] This relates to calling. We should be mindful of our calling and responsibilities, and not pledge ourselves to something contrary to them.
[xix] Here, the idea is ability. It is not possible to hold someone to an action they literally cannot accomplish.
[xx] Some would argue that this extends to male children in the home. The same idea of protective authority is found in the New Testament: Ephesians 5:22-33; I Corinthians 7:36.
[xxi] Examples include someone under a Power of Attorney, or an invalid.
In my opinion, it is best practice to never make a vow in the first place. Everything we face including temptation is a choice. I have discovered, for example, that I can sell my choice of usually abstaining from alcohol, not because I think it makes me more spiritual but rather I just don't see the point of getting hammered. I am fortunate that my father told me that while beauty is in the eye of the beholder, if I didn't like what I beheld then it would be better not to have and remain single (I am married now). And the most obvious thing should be that you cannot make God love you any more than what he already does so making a vow about this that and the other is just plain pointless.
I once heard a comment: "A man [or woman] is only as good as his [her] word." Some folks are in the habit of promising this thing and that thing never intending to keep their word. To them, a vow is a light matter at worst, and nothing-at-all at best. Jesus warns folks like that about their every idle word being taken into account - they've failed to see (or rejected seeing) how important a person's word is. That being said, I agree, it's good to make sure we're people of our word, and so to make vows very carefully. As said in the article, to not vow is no sin - and not vowing can even be wise. As you mentioned, we can sometimes be led to believe that making a vow (or vows) will somehow draw the Lord's favor toward us. The truth is, Jesus has gained that favor for us! I'm glad He keeps His vows!
The particular vow I think *may* have been most difficult for women to reconcile was the vow to never use medical birth control of any kind. Countless women live in bondage to this vow. Meanwhile, their health is ruined and they are unable to reconcile that having 5 children in 5 years would be taxing to anyone and not indicative of spiritual failure. I was one of hundreds of minor aged girls who made this "vow" during a counseling seminar. There were at least 2 a year for 15 years. That's a lot of women in bondage. After having 3 children in 3 years, my husband approached me with the scripture about spouses' bodies "belonging to one another." He reminded me that a vow made over something that didn't entirely belong to me could not be binding. I stopped feeling trapped. I stopped hating the fact that I was female. It was the beginning of freedom and grace.
Wow - I didn't know that such a vow (no birth control) was used at IBLP/ATIA. Thank the Lord for your husband - and his insight!
This is the kind of vow that is so damaging - as you said. Not being in the counseling seminar, I can only imagine the emotional manipulation - and supposed Bible reasoning - that was presented. There's no command in Scripture to lead us to such a vow. Even the "have as many children as God will give you" is not found in Scripture - which is probably where this kind of vow came from . It's clear in Scripture that our Lord loves children. But, it's equally clear that there's no specific command forbidding the use of "medical" contraceptives - just as there is no command in Scripture forbidding the use of "medical" pain relievers.
How sweet it is to walk in grace - to be free to love the Lord because He loves us, in Jesus we have been fully accepted.
I made this "commitment" too, when I was 15. I don't practice it. Another one that I decided was not in line with the truth of Scripture, and should not have been a decision made as a minor, without being able to discuss it w/ my spouse so we could make those decisions together.
Thank you for addressing this. We are going through Lutheran's Small Catechism at church and it has brought up many questions for me concerning all the vows that Gothard promoted. I appreciate you articulating the vows and their damaging effects.
I made a rash vow when I was 17 - and kept it for 13 years. Then I was challenged with my belief that actually led me to the vow. Once I dealt with my belief - how errant it was - I was able to deal with my vow to the Lord.
Luther, himself, broke at least one vow he'd made in/to the Catholic church when he married Kitty (his "pet name" for his wife). I'd be interested to know what the Lutheran Catechism has to say.
Thankfully, I never made what I considered to be an actual "vow" under ATI's influence, although I made plenty of "commitments". Maybe you would see it as the same thing. Most of the "commitments" I made were about such superfluous things as wearing skirts, having long hair and soft curls, not listening to rock music, not dating, etc, etc. When I found out that everything I believed in under this program was a lie, I considered myself no longer bound by the commitments I made under those false teachings, since the commitments were also made under false understandings of God and His word. In fact, I can really only think of one genuine commitment that might have had some actual value to the Christian life, and that was a commitment to pray 10 minutes daily. Granted, it was a commitment made under peer pressure, which I wouldn't have made once I got out of the brainwashing, but that is the only commitment I have felt significant guilt over being unable to keep.
You've touched on a huge matter - that of maturing in the Lord and coming to know Him better. The more we come to know our God, the more we see His beauty. This is so far from the austere/stern deity we are shown in IBLP/ATIA - the deity who doesn't love us unless we commit to this and commit to that, or vow this and vow that.
At first, the seminars are so attractive, I think, because they're filled with "testimonies" - testimonies that seem to indicate God's favor on particular people because of the things they did "for God." Who doesn't want to have God's favor?? So, we make all manner of "commitments" and vows - at least that was certainly how I was affected. Then, it's discovered that nothing's really changed even though I committed myself (no greater happiness, no greater spiritual insight, etc.).
Later, when we get to know the Gospel - that God's favor is on us because of Jesus and not because of us - our entire lives begin to take a different shape. Guilt is washed away, guilty motivations are taken care of, and grace reigns! The Lord looks on us with the same compassion He always did - though we didn't know it.
Much of what we commit to or vow to is only what we bind ourselves by - the Lord has not held us to it/them. We are free to confess to HIm the bad theology (ideas of HIm) we had, and recognize that He never held us to those things to begin with. That said, I'm not so sure your commitment to 10 minutes of praying a day is valid either - or has any value to the Christian life. Clearly prayer is desired by our Lord - not in matter of time, but in matter of our hearts. To bind ourselves to a time limit is to reduce prayer a work of righteousness rather than a gift of fellowship with our Sovereign. No one should ask anyone else to bind themselves to a time limit. Rather, we should be encouraged, as David did, to ask our Lord to search our hearts and thus move us to love Him and pray that way.
There is no time limit given to prayer in Scripture. Paul says we are to "pray without ceasing." If he meant all-the-time we'd wonder how anyone could ever follow any other direction of Scripture - we'd always be "praying" (i.e. in our "prayer closet" or someplace with eyes closed, heads bowed . . .). It seems obvious that Paul has in mind a manner of constant communication - in addition to any specific times of private prayer we might be able to have in that "closet."
We cannot know if we'll be so taken with the Lord one day that He'll keep us there for far longer than 10 minutes; and we cannot know if we'll be so sick (or old) that we won't even be awake to pray. Binding ourselves by a particular time is unhelpful to our walking in grace with the Lord. I don't believe He's holding you to a time limit. I'd personally acknowledge to the Lord why I made that (and any bad) commitment, ask Him to forgive me for any sinful perspective I had of Him, and thank Him for leading me to truth and release. His grace is sufficient.
Lol, it is a commitment I've broken so thoroughly, that I no longer worry about it. I recognize that it was unwise at the time, and whether or not it was a valid commitment which I *should* have honored, I do accept the blood of Christ as covering it. Thank you for your perspective, I've enjoyed reading this article and the ensuing discussion.
I just recently ran across this site, and am very thankful for the approach they take to the Gothard principles and such. Being in the IBLP scene and ATI for many years I am glad such a site exists.
I'm struggling with a rash vow I made 5 years ago, at age 16, to remain single for a period of 10 years yet I have had many of my spiritual leaders agreeing with me in thinking that myself and a wonderful Christian girl have a future together. How do you rectify something of that sort? My first reaction has been to say no, and remain committed to my vow, yet I am having thoughts as to whether I am doing the right thing or not.
After getting out of ATI and IBLP, I am trying to find the real truth in scripture as am re-evaulating a lot of things I was led to believe while in ATI/IBLP.
But my question is, could God be trying to talk to me through spiritual leaders in my life or are these thoughts and affirmations just me trying to justify breaking my vow?
I'd appreciate any feedback
I'm not sure how long it will take for the majority to see your comment and request for feedback. You might want to click on the Recovery Groups link at the top of this website and request to join the ATI student recovery group and post your request there to help expedite your feedback. Hope my posting brings some attention to it.
I will say that Gothard was contantly having young people commit to things under pressure without giving them the opportunity to pray and seek God's will concerning a matter. I personally believe most of his teachings are in error and have put many people in legalistic bondage. I don't believe your bound to that singleness commitment. If you know Jesus Christ as your personal Saviour, He has set you free. Don't let anyone put a yoke of slavery around your neck. It is for Christ sake that you have been set free. The most important thing it that you love Him and serve Him. I don't think you will earn any brownie points (God won't love you anymore than He already does) by waiting five more years to get married.
Tammy, I like how you frame this as an issue of a yoke of slavery. I've been too busy to formulate a fully defended response about how to deal with vows. I believe it says something very negative about God if he sits back and watches his children make vows in good faith (not realizing they are being coerced) and then holds them to it for years into the future.
John, I totally admire your personal integrity. I wonder if it might help (and I'm just thinking out loud here) to compare this to vows made in a false religion. If you had made vows under a false religion and then were saved by grace, you would surely count yourself free from those mistaken vows. It is my belief that Gothardism is a legalistic version of Christianity that is tantamount to Gal 1:9. I don't want to pretend that vows to God are not serious business. But I really think Tammy nailed it. I think you are laboring under a yoke of slavery. I think Jesus would help you remove the yoke, not tie it tighter.
One other thought, I wonder if you could reframe the intent of the vow? The intention was likely a heart to serve God in a special way or to maintain purity or something like that. I wonder if there would be a way to accomplish the spirit of that vow while asking God to release you to the freedom of pursuing any relationships he might bring across your path... again, just thinking out loud. Take your time, there is no pressure. I would be curious to know how this turns out for you.
John, I heard a wise woman say, 'A promise that someone forces you to make, is not a real promise.' (it was actually a line off of a Christian tv show.) Considering that you were probably guilt tripped/peer pressured into making this vow, I'd consider it null, but more than that, there is a scripture that speaks of false prophets in the last days 'forbidding to marry'. Taking this Scripture into consideration, (and my personal belief that Gothard is a false prophet), anything he persuaded you to vow, could be 'broken' without dishonoring the Lord, in fact, since God is the creator and delightor of marriage, it may very well be dishonoring to Him to honor that particular 'vow', if He has lead an incredible woman into your life. I hope this helps you!