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Of Music and Football

26 June 2015, 06:00

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“So you’re Caleb,” my high school guidance counselor said as she handed me the results of my Pre-ACT test. “You did really well.” I didn’t just have the best scores in my class, I was among the best in the nation. She told me I could write my own ticket, if I would apply myself, […]

My Mother’s Day Story

7 May 2015, 06:00

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Mothers Day in the United States is fast approaching… as an American living in the UK, I see people celebrate the day twice, as Mothering Sunday is before Easter here in England. Both days used to fill me with dread, grief and pain. But not anymore. It’s not necessarily an easy day, but neither does […]

The Shame of Beauty

16 April 2015, 06:00

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Before I was born my parents started following the teaching of Bill Gothard and IBLP, and when I was 5, they joined ATI (Advanced Training Institute), the homeschool program that Gothard developed for the families of his Basic and Advanced Seminars. Gothard emphasized “principles” which simply meant there were many different rules that dictated specific activities in my […]

Belonging

9 April 2015, 06:00

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In groups like the Advanced Training Institute, we have an identity and a community. We might not always like it, but it gives us a level of security. We are surrounded by people who think like us. We speak a different language from other people around us, using words like “courtship,” “motivational gift,” “rhema” and […]

In Search of Peace

2 April 2015, 06:00

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One of my earliest memories was walking down the hall from my Sunday school class to the sanctuary, pondering in perfect happiness the most important thing I knew: Jesus loved me, and his Father, God, loved me. They loved me even more than my Mommy and Daddy loved me. And that’s how much I loved […]

Ignorance Is Not Bliss

31 March 2015, 06:00

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Ever since our pastor announced that Bill Gothard stepped down, I feel like I have been in a state of shock. I have always been famous for saying, “Ignorance is not bliss.” Now I know just how right I was. I have to reconcile myself to the fact that I was living in ignorance, and […]

Sorry, Mom and Dad. We DO Have Regrets

22 January 2015, 06:00

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Growing up in ATI, our parents often told us, “Because of the way we’re raising you, you won’t have any regrets.” Their regrets included broken relationships, sexual sins, temptations, “wasted” years and the like. All of which we would to avoid because of our sheltered, carefully controlled upbringing. We don’t know if our parents honestly […]

You Cannot Pay With Words

12 November 2014, 09:00

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My story is about a leader maintaining a double life for decades and then demanding to pay for his deeds with words and tears. He is outwardly sorrowful that his words and favor are no longer valid currency. My parents were regional and state leaders in the homeschooling movement for years before we joined the […]

The Principle of Self-Doubt

20 October 2014, 06:24

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I have been reading articles on Recovering Grace for a couple of years now, and the testimonies of others have been powerful tools for personal healing and for re-evaluating the way I think about life. One of the more common themes that I have seen in the comments on Recovering Grace articles is that people […]

Broken Glass – In Memoriam

16 October 2014, 10:45

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As I am going through this process of recognizing and healing from the effects of growing up with IBLP/ATI, I find that daily life can often draw parallels to what I am feeling internally. I was washing a window in my kitchen today and realized that one of them is broken. It is pointless to […]