Over the past two weeks and previous two Aprils, Recovering Grace has focused on personal narratives by former Advanced Training Institute (ATI) alumni who endured sexual assault, abuse, or harassment in the Institute in Basic Life Principles (IBLP) subculture, sometimes within a context of broader physical abuse, and almost always within a context of spiritual and emotional abuse. We also explored portions of ATI and IBLP literature that placed much guilt and responsibility for abuse and its aftermath on survivors and their advocates, who were issued a complex system of competing demands that made it extremely difficult to expose abuse without being implicated as complicit in it. Today, we close our Sexual Assault Awareness month series.
No one in ATI or IBLP publicly advocates harassment, assault, or abuse. Other than those who perpetrate these acts, no one wants them. Nevertheless, these things have happened and do happen in the Institute, as they happen elsewhere, and survivors face a public expectation to report immediately, which overlays a private culture of shame and silence. Those who report to a parent or authority figure within the system too often face cynicism about the veracity of their experiences, or questions as to whether and how they probably invited the unwanted sexual contact. Those who report to civil authorities outside the system too often are accused of ruining the reputation and life of their abusers, of being unforgiving or bitter, and of trying to break up the family or ministry. Those who fear coming forward at the time of the events but tell their stories privately or publicly years later, after finally acknowledging the enormity of what happened to them, are too often condemned for not reporting as soon as the acts took place, or for ever reporting at all. Whenever, however, and to whomever survivors choose to speak, they are as likely to be greeted with anger, rebuke, character assassination, and loud disbelief as with support and compassion. This is not unique to the Institute, but history seems to indicate that the Institute is no better than the rest of the world in this regard, and sometimes may be worse.
Almost every person who has shared his or her story of sexual assault, abuse, or harassment on Recovering Grace has been pressured to suppress or retract some part of that story, whether at the time of the original events or after publication, even though the story is truth. This demand for silence or retraction is almost always framed as an imperative.
You have to stay silent, because no one will believe you.
You have to stay silent, because your abuser is a man of God, and countless people could lose their faith if you speak of what happened.
You have to stay silent, because your abuser gave you a home, refuge, money, gifts, or opportunities.
You have to stay silent, because it happened years ago, and you missed your window.
You have to stay silent, because you are not perfect yourself.
You have to stay silent, because only God can judge.
You have to stay silent, because anything bad that happened to you reflects poorly on the discernment and “umbrella” of your parents, who loved and sacrificed for you.
You have to stay silent, because some people are raped by strangers in war zones, and you didn’t have it that bad.
You have to stay silent, because you haven’t confronted your abuser enough times, or in the right way, or with the right combination of people.
You have to stay silent, because you haven’t managed to get your abuser to admit how he used you as an emotional and physical object to meet whichever of his personal needs was most pressing that day.
You have to stay silent, because you didn’t cry out.
You have to retract, because your abuser doesn’t agree that his conduct was wrong, and such a godly man must know best.
You have to retract, because there was no [whatever the the antagonist considers to be “real” assault, abuse, or harassment, even when the law says otherwise].
You have to retract, because your abuser didn’t really understand what he was doing.
You have to retract, because you misunderstood.
You have to retract, because you forgot the color of the upholstery, therefore nothing you say can be true.
You have to retract, because as a young person you fell for and maybe even flirted with another young person, maybe several, and are thus an emotional adulterer.
You have to retract, because you had a history of poor sexual and romantic choices before your abuse, and your abuser must have seen that you were already tainted.
You have to retract, because you made poor sexual and romantic choices after your abuse, and thus retroactively validated the contempt with which your abuser earlier treated you.
You have to retract, because you have a difficult family background that makes you too confused and incompetent to know your own mind or your own story.
You have to retract, because sometimes you enjoyed the attention and adoration that framed the abuse, and didn’t stop it with a slap to the face of an abuser who was also your authority figure, whom you were trained to trust and obey.
You have to retract, because at the time you didn’t say “NO!” the correct way, or enough times, or with enough witnesses.
You have to retract, or your former youthful immaturity will be exposed for all to see.
You have to retract, or the family and ministry will collapse.
You have to retract, or Jesus may not make it through this one.
You have to retract, because your abuser loves you very much.
Enough.
Do not stay silent. Do not retract. Speak the truth, whether or not others choose to hear.
We don’t each have to write and publish our individual stories, but neither do we have to suppress or re-swallow them until they sicken our souls with fear and grief, all because others demand that we be silent or retract. Many people whom we love fear that, if they accept the truth of what really happened, it would pain them beyond what can be borne—and that it would destroy too much of what and whom they believed in. It is too late in the day to still be ruled by fear of the truth.
What was done in the dark will be brought to the light.
July 31, 2024
Thank you. Thank you for encouraging those still bound by the shame perpetuated by silence to seek the freedom found by acknowledging the truth.
That is crazy true!!! Whoever wrote this really knew!!!
Is it okay if I re-post this on my blog (giving you the credit)?
All those elaborate reasons to protect the wrong group...my favorite was "Jesus might not make it through this one..a variation on that is "the armies of the evil ONE (que creepy music) are gathering...sargon advances..
The god of Gothard and similar groups is said to be great and fearful. In practice he is small and weak and must be protected by layers of rules and standards and an unblemished candy coating.
I want to clarify that my comment describes _what happens in practice._ I have no idea what Gothard and other people think and believe. Although, I believe what a person actually does matters a lot more than what they believe.
@gregr
.....Jesus might not make it through this one. Pretty sure he will
I would bet Bill Gothard has created more Atheist then second generation students.
Nothing left for Alfred to say. Numbers speak for themselves.
# of second generation students: most encouraging thing I've read all week, hope it's close to true
Yes, yes, and amen. Count me among the 99% who will never touch this program again.
Greg,
with a retention rate of less than 1%, this makes them highly dependent on new recruits. Now that Bill's sexual abuse and harassment has been exposed, I would think new recruits would be hard to come by.
I agree Greg. Religion helps many many people. BG has even helped people in their personal walks. The sad part is he may have severely damaged many more than he helped in the long run. Because of that I'm also fine if IBLP just goes away. Plenty of other good programs, churches and ministries out there.
The retention rate speaks for itself, doesn't it? In light of all the recent behaviors that have been brought to light and the teachings that have been exposed it seems the handwriting is on the wall.
"You have to retract, or Jesus may not make it through this one" .... yep, and as for who props up this "jesus "; BG is far from the only leader and ILBP/ATI far from the only ideology for which thus might be the case. The Jesus created and supported by modern Evangelicalism is lost to me.
Sin (like physical disease) is a self-limiting condition. If untreated (through grace and repentance), ends in death. That, too, is God's mercy.
If the truth causes something to become broken, then perhaps that something *needs* to be broken. Our God is the god of truth. Thank you to those of you who have been brave enough to share the truth of your abuse. I pray that the healing love of our gentle Savior gives you peace and strength.
AMEN.
We haven't heard from Alfred for a few days, but I could sadly hear his "voice" in the statements above as I read.
@ Jeff - your description of "God" is spot on. Not the One I know at all.
@ Alfred - you may have missed it, but there's a question for you over at Bill Gothard Issues Public Statement, posted near the end on April 30 - I hope you'll read and possibly consider.
Jesus said He is THE truth, the life, and the way. May He be honored.
My opinion - please don't prod Alfred into replying.
I meant that as more of a general sentiment, not a rebuke to you, Elizabeth. Apologies if I came across harshly.
No problem, Matthew! I actually agree with you, and stated over on the other page that it's not about Alfred. I really meant it more as "please read and consider" than "please read and respond." I'm not interested in arguing with him. And of course by "Alfred," I also mean those that are caught in the same web.
I lived so long not being able to make sense of things. It hurts to see others that just don't have any concept of the elaborate ego-show going on around them, or of the way they are themselves being used.
When Alfred says he knows BG and testifies to his honesty, integrity, and spiritual discernment/ condition/ fruit, it doesn't make me mad. And he certainly doesn't have to answer to me for his defense of his friend. It just makes me overwhelmingly sad to see it and know that he's being hurt. It makes me sad, too, to see him boil it all down to a sexual harassment issue, when it is all that and SOOOO much more. What I've dealt with for over 25 years (and still learning to deal with) is huge and affects many; what's been happening here for decades is mind-boggling.
Narcissism's a bitch.
I believe this piece delivers the fatal blow to that mindset which seeks to defend the abuser and silence the abused. Very, very, well done.
Haven't heard my voice . . . Because I am sick and tired of it. Interesting that RG acknowledges above that nobody in IBLP endorces, supports abuse. And that the incidents marginally tied to ATI happened there "as they happen elsewhere". Really! A deluge of personal prejudices, anyone may say what they will. Yay, RG, you win!
I thank The Lord that the hidden things WILL be brought to light. He doesn't think like we do . . . We will personally give an account to Him for "every idle word" that we speak, whether privately or on the internet. Bill, me, no less than anyone else here.
An old man sits alone in an old house . . . No one else is there, 80 year old sister cooks for him and brings him food. All that supposed accumulated wealth? Why that appears to not be his. The ministry he founded appears to be moving on without him. May The Lord judge him rightly, have mercy on him . . . I know He doesn't miss a thing, both good and evil.
Alfred, if Bill Gothard had married and had 10 children like he has encouraged so many to do and they had also followed his "advice", then he wouldn't be sitting alone....he would have 100 grandchildren to help take care of him and keep him company. Or in your case you should have 121 grandchildren to help take care of you in your old age. I have only 4 children but 20 grandchildren and one of them adopted! Oh the horrors---from India no less! I know that some of them at least will help me in my old age (oh wait, I'm already there - only 4 years younger than BG) and in fact they already help with mowing and other things.
As to wealth....I don't know anything about that but when an "organization" (I'm loathe to call it a ministry) has enough money to buy a LearJet and have a worth of over $100 million dollars (at least in years past) then I would say that something is out of whack.
Amen! Amen! Amen!
". . . Because I am sick and tired of it. Interesting that RG acknowledges above that nobody in IBLP endorces, supports abuse. And that the incidents marginally tied to ATI happened there "as they happen elsewhere". Really! A deluge of personal prejudices, anyone may say what they will. Yay, RG, you win!"
Alfred, I don't understand you.
There are many people who have spent good money getting counseling on account of how much they were messed up by the abuse they suffered. The fact that you are "sick and tired" of stories that are JUST IN RECENT MONTHS coming to light, the stories of those who have FOR MANY YEARS felt they had been shamed into silence, disturbs me.
The fact that Larne Gabriel has testified that his first wife's illness was brought on or exacerbated by the severe stress she endured, according to the doctors that treated her, and you are "sick and tired" of hearing all this, that has gone on FOR YEARS, also disturbs me greatly.
Also, I strongly disagree that the "incidents" reported here are only "marginally tied" to ATI. ATI was the program that provided the multiple scores of young people for the TCs, many of whom were chewed up and spit out, in addition to the sexual footsie games etc.. ATI is an integral part of these matters.
For YEARS, people have been trying to confront Bill. Some were run out of the Institute. Many have been demonized. Always, Bill has found a way to insulate himself - remember that threatening letter to Larne and Ruth where he gave his "new insight" about only giving good reports?
I DON'T BLAME RECOVERING GRACE FOR CONTINUING TO DISCUSS THE ABUSES OF IBLP, ENCOURAGING ABUSE VICTIMS TO SPEAK OUT. *NOT* *ONE* *BIT*!!!
As far as I'm concerned, RG can take many months or a couple years to deal with the fallout from the abuse that has gone on for well over 40 years.
Lynn, I read it to mean that Alfred was sick and tired of his own voice, i.e. he's posted quite a lot lately and needed a break.
Alfred, please correct me if I understood that the wrong way.
Jeff, Alfred and I sparred a LOT on the Gothard discussion list, and we are facebook friends as well. Like cats and dogs, but we shake paws in the middle, although there may be some angst there, of course, with these topics. I am concerned about Alfred, and the many families, such as the Duggars, who seem to be just going on with business.
You may be right about Alfred being sick and tired of his own voice. I am concerned about the seeming lack of concern for abuse victims and great concern for Gothard, however. Gothard has had the upper hand, and many have gone silent for so long, which leads to great mental anguish, if not major depressive episodes, that I applaud this entry, encouraging them to speak up. Alfred seems to have a different view, as noted by what followed in his remarks.
In addition to that, I think the articles complaining of abuse should keep coming, if people are willing to come forward, in order to keep the pressure on, so that a repeat reinstatement will not occur, as it did on previous occasions.
Lynn, totally. I am a massive fan of what RG (and you and the other core commenters) are doing. People need to keep speaking up.
Re: the Duggars and others in the inner circle. I'm not too worried about them. I grew up as a pastor's kid and have mostly been a youth and children's leader or pastor for the last 23 years. In that capacity I've had a fair few trips 'backstage'. The thing about religious leaders and their inner circles is that they know what parts of their own message need to be taken with a grain (or bucket) of salt. That's why faith healers take their kids to hospital instead of letting them die without treatment. The Pearls don't discipline their own kids to death. Bill Gothard eats whatever the heck he wants (and the other big stuff). It's we poor sods who believed their messages and actually tried to apply them who get hurt and hurt others. But as long as the money and the TV contracts keep rolling in, there is no need to acknowledge nuance, inaccuracy, doubt and struggle.
Lynn, I think it's a healthy discourse if you and Alfred are FB friends. At the end of the day I just want us to all get along and no more pain to be caused by IBLP. Regarding you being able to meet him half way, the image I see in my mind is one of my favorite scenes from the movie Hitch. Will Smith says to Kevin James, you go 90% let her come 10%. You may have to go 90% to meet him. That's ok also.
I attended IBYC in Fort Worth in 1982 and one other year. My parents tried their best to implement the teachings in our home, probably to the extent that it was the "Raising Teenagers Handbook for Godly People" ... It sat on the "Bible" shelf of our bookshelf. Definitely, it was idolized in our household, to some degree. I, personally, was not a victim of bg's assault. Yet, somehow, given the sexual climate of the tiny subsection of Christian subculture I grew up in, this turn of events does not surprise me.
My parents divorced in 1986. The doctrine became bunk to my parents, in my eyes, by the blatant, public divorce they displayed. Mind you, conventional wisdom dictates they stayed married too long.
@Alfred
Well your women's ministry should organize dinners for him for the rest of his life then. And here this whole time I thought he was tirelessly meeting with victims and those who have ought against him. Silly me for assuming.
Well, the outcome for a man accused of sexually harassing several dozen women and sexually assaulting at least one woman could be far worse than sitting peacefully in his own home with a loved one cooking for him.
Yeah, my pity isn't particularly stirred for someone who will very likely live out what remains of his life in domestic peace, likely with no financial concerns, and no worry about having to face prosecution for quite a few things. Given the major heartache and struggle I hear behind the scenes of men and women who struggle to stay afloat, or have permanent health issues because of IBLP, I just can't quite find a need for a Kleenex right now.
(This doesn't mean I don't pity Bill at all, I just think Alfred's musing on this point is frivolous.)
"Do not receive an accusation against an elder except from two or three witnesses. Those who are sinning rebuke in the presence of all, that the rest also may fear." 1 Timothy 5:19
"And He said, 'Woe to you also, lawyers! For you load men with burdens hard to bear, and you yourselves do not touch the burdens with one of your fingers.'" Luke 11:46
"For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? God judges those outside. 'Purge the evil person from among you.'" 1 Corinthians 5:12
"Then I returned and considered all the oppression that is done
under the sun:
And look! The tears of the oppressed,
But they have no comforter
On the side of their oppressors there is power,
But they have no comforter." Ecclesiastes 4:1
"The word of the Lord came to me: 'Son of man, prophesy against the shepherds of Israel; prophesy, and say to them, even to the shepherds, Thus says the Lord God: Ah, shepherds of Israel who have been feeding yourselves! Should not shepherds feed the sheep?....The weak you have not strengthened, the sick you have not healed, the injured you have not bound up, the strayed you have not brought back, the lost you have not sought, and with force and harshness you have ruled them.'" Ezekiel 34:1-2;4-5
"Vindicate the weak and fatherless; Do justice to the afflicted and destitute. Rescue the weak and needy; deliver them out of the hand of the wicked" Psalm 82:3-4
>>>
Alfred said: "Haven't heard my voice . . . Because I am sick and tired of it."
<<>>
Alfred said: "Interesting that RG acknowledges above that nobody in IBLP endorces, supports abuse."
<<>>
Alfred said: "And that the incidents marginally tied to ATI happened there "as they happen elsewhere". Really! A deluge of personal prejudices, anyone may say what they will. Yay, RG, you win!"
<<>>
Alfred said: "I thank The Lord that the hidden things WILL be brought to light."
<<>>
Alfred said: "An old man sits alone in an old house . . . No one else is there, 80 year old sister cooks for him and brings him food. All that supposed accumulated wealth? Why that appears to not be his. The ministry he founded appears to be moving on without him."
<<<
One is responsible for their own choices and actions that lead them to their lot in life. Somehow I doubt your above picture of Bill Gothard is accurate. But if you like, I'll play along with your description of "current day" Bill and show you why he is where he is at in life now.
Proverbs 28:13
Here's a little something you might like listening to:
http://mp3.sa-media.com/media/27091657373/27091657373.mp3
My prayer is that all of you who have suffered at the hands of Bill Gothard will find and have healing by the Hand of God and those still under Gothard's spell will be delivered and see the real meaning of what Salvation and Christian life are about.
AMEN, sir!
*Sigh*
ALFRED--the "hidden things" HAVE been brought to light!
The "incidents" recorded on RG are DIRECTLY linked to IBLP and it's dictator/leader, not "marginally"!
And why should I feel sorry for Gothard being "alone in an old house" when he CHOSE that when he could have had a family??
All my sympathy and compassion are for the VICTIMS of sexual harassment, sexual abuse and legalistic teaching!
"An old man sits alone in an old house . . . No one else is there, 80 year old sister cooks for him and brings him food. All that supposed accumulated wealth? Why that appears to not be his. "
Alfred,
Somehow I am just not moved to tears by this. Every day that BG enjoys freedom, he should be thankful to the Lord and the Illinois legislature for something called Statute of Limitations. People who touch underage girls belong in prison. RG has stated that 4 of the victims were sexual abuse, not just harassment. We have not heard the stories from the 3 other sexual abuse victims yet. He best hope that they are not within the window of time that those incidents are prosecutable, or his situation will be far worse than having his sister bring him meals at home.
Joe Paterno lost his legacy, a statute outside the stadium and his dignity simply for not following up on an incident that was already reported to his superiors.
Bill manipulated young people and their relationships with the opposite sex so he could keep a cheap work force to carry out his duties and every once in a while he'd hit it big with a gothard girl, oh and he just happened to need a 16yr old executive secretary. Sympathy, I feel sympathy for thousands involved with IBLP, unfortunately Bill's not one of them.
Ryan,
I have thought about JoePa from the very beginning of these things being brought to light in such a big way. Even the "WORLD" knows that what happened there and the cover up was wicked and inexcusable. Why can't BG's defenders realize this for themselves?
Alfred, I believe that some are misinterpreting your statements, but let me try to address the "marginal" cases. (By which I take you to mean the cases where neither Gothard nor an IBLP/ATI/IBYC/ATIA authority was the perpetrator.) Of the thousands of families that were impacted by Gothard's ministries, it does not surprise that some portion had sexual molestation affect them. There is little reason to believe the population differed much from general society. But the stories of what Gothard did when he was told about abuses indicts him in my mind. Is there anyone who was abused by anybody that came to Gothard and was helped by his counsel or advice? The victims of step-dads, brothers, employers, grandpas, etc., who were told that they had contributed to their abuse and they had things to "resolve" make me wonder if Gothard ever met any true innocent victim. If you know of stories where a young person was helped, and not futher victimized by Gothard's counsel, it is time to balance the information. By their fruit we should know them.
After my pastor's sermon further convicted me of my own legalism, I spent some time today reviewing Gothard's Basic Seminar materials on Moral Purity. The physical wars with the spiritual, my body is not a temple of the Holy Spirit but an enemy. (What did the Gnostics believe about their bodies?) I was not created a whole bodily person, but an assembly of physical, psychological and spiritual components. My mind, will and emotions are never in control, but merely victimized by my body. Angelic beings in II Peter 2:10 and Jude 1:8 are "those in authority" (i.e. police, parents, pastors and Gothard). The "human system", whatever that is, can't handle guilt. (Isn't that why Jesus died?) The Basic Steps to Conquer Impurity are works for me to do, Jesus is not involved. Manifesting Complete Repentance requires visualization; "conflicts" and "failure" are euphemisms for sin (I think); and my peace is determined by my ability to integrate ALL past experience into meaningful thought patterns. (Did Job ever learn about this?) Can I even be conscious of all past experience? WHERE IS THE GRACE? After reviewing this "material", I can see why it is followed by an intense warning against pride. "Success" in Conquering Impurity could not help but engender a little self-satisfaction.
Next I find "Discern[ment of] Cycles of Life" which has nothing to do with the Word of God or with Grace. This is a multi-level treadmill of habits and patterns some of which are declared to be permanent (outside the reach of the Power of the Blood of Christ). No victory, no deliverance, no overcoming. Finally Transforming Thought Patterns demands meditation "the ultimate activity by which we gain moral freedom." Not Grace. Not the Cross. Not the prayers of Jesus and the saints. Our active meditation. But don't forget to "welcome [wrong] thought[s] as an opportunity to test your faith." And visualize to cast down imaginations.
I regret that years ago I did not faithfully search the scriptures to see whether these things were true.
Its not a smear campaign! Its about bringing to light the pain of the victims. BG is not the victim here. If you had more knowledge in this subject matter you would not have ignored them.
This whole thing is about bringing light and to balance what has happened. For decades it has swayed in BG's court. Now is the time for the pendulum to swing to the side of the children, yes children whom he has hurt and for their voices to be heard. That is what this site is about. This is their day.
When God cleans house, does He not start at the top, with the leaders? If so, then BG should be rejoicing that God loves him so much as to choose him as the starting place so that God's house is truly (swept) clean. And thus said, I had better get my "house" in order because God does not stop there.
I have been following RG for awhile now, read many of the stories and most of the comments, but have never posted until now. I myself am a survivor of emotional, sexual, and spiritual abuse, as is my husband and many people who are near and dear to me. I am all too familiar with Gothard's misinterpretations and misapplications of Scripture and have seen the effects in churches and on families. I remember a good friend happily and naively going off to volunteer at headquarters many years ago. I am awed and grieved at the carnage of this "ministry" and struggle to wrap my mind around how the deception and cover-up could have gone on for so long.
The list of reasons used to pressure victims of abuse into silence or retracting their story is so spot on. It sickens me that people would re-abuse the already abused by brow beating them with such statements. RG and every person who has had the courage to stand up and speak out are to be commended. I am proud of you, I stand with you, I am one of you. I feel privileged to call you my sisters and brothers in Christ. Let's continue to stand strong together.
I hope the things written in today's article will help more victims of abuse acknowledge just what it was that happened to them whether within the Gothard community or outside. Thank you, RG, for the courage and grace your are exhibiting in stepping up and saying "Enough is Enough!" Thankful to be a part of this group!
There is something terribly wrong when victims of emotional, sexual or spiritual abuse are called upon to defend their innocence. Upside down world--The Lord of Heaven and Earth will prevail. In the meantime, Shame on all of you for your complacency.
........um, Rebekah, to whom are you referring when you say "you"?? I'll have to decline to accept the Shame you offer for being "complacent". You are making a blanket assumption that does not line up with the reality of the people on this site, bloggers and followers both. Would you please explain in more detail?
Thank you for posting this. It was very healing for me. Thank you for speaking for those who have been too afraid to speak. Perhaps RG is like the stones crying out or the blood of Abel crying out from the ground?
Thanks for the comparison, Brieta! I agree.
You make a cogent observation! I've been thinking recently that these events are being "shouted from the housetops" because of the advent of Facebook, this site, and other social media. I think that these things may have been "wrought by God" for the purpose of exposing such evil and for glorifying the True God! I promise I won't write a book and make a seminar about it though =-)
I just read this article by one of Billy Graham's grandsons:
http://www.religionnews.com/2013/09/26/billy-grahams-grandson-evangelicals-worse-catholic-church-sex-abuse/
And in case you don't read it, here is one of the comments following the article:
"I don’t go to church anymore. It is not a safe place for abuse survivors. I watched a documentary on TV about an elderly pedophile and he was talking about how he abused kids. The reporter asked him, “now that schools have gotten so sophisticated on recognizing abusers, is it hard to find kids now?” He did not miss a beat and said “Oh no, we are targeting churches now. It is great, the people there are so stupid. They welcome you with wide open arms and they are always looking for volunteers in their children’s programs.” I have to agree with him – church people are stupid. They hide their heads in the sand and leave their children easy targets for predators."
Thank you, thank you, everyone here, for speaking up. Please don't stop! And not just on this site. Speak up wherever you can!! And keep going after BG. I don't care how old he is, if he can get away with this, others will try. If he doesn't, it will be a loud warning to many. We don't know how many children't innocence can be saved.
Good article. Thanks for the link.
"Abusers discourage whistle-blowing by condemning gossip to try to keep people from reporting abuse, he said. Victims are also told to protect the reputation of Jesus."
"Too many Protestant institutions have sacrificed souls in order to protect their institutions, he said. 'We’ve got the Gospels backwards,'he said."
So true.
I find it hard to imagine that Bill Gothard's having "stepped down" will stop him from looking for ways to continue to prey upon young women. A decades-old driving compulsion will likely motivate the one possessed by it to make a very strong effort to find an outlet for its expression. I hope someone is keeping a very watchful eye.
Good point. He should go on a dating web site for mature adults and actually find a healthy relationship
As has been said many times before, a healthy relationship will not stop the behaviour of a predator who gets his kicks from the power gained from abusing and manipulating the powerless.
Ryan,
See what you did Ryan? Now I can't get out of my head the image of BG writing his profile for the online dating site, per your suggestion. That would be one interesting profile. I may help out by posting a suggested draft for him.
Here's the site you should use:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ljd7f2tFOak#t=12
Shane, you totally beat me to it. I've been meaning to post that somewhere on RG but keep forgetting!
I agree Tiara, he needs professional help (and consequences).
Shane, touche
I was thinking this site would help also if he's lonely.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6RvyFFjP7RE
Please don't think that a 'healthy' relationship stops predators or other addictions. So many people think, for instance, that a man will stop doing porn when they marry. They don't. Sorry. Only deep repentance and spiritual warfare as in intentional renewing of the mind for at least a year BEFORE committing to a relationship. Even then, so much damage has been done that probably the relationship, especially in some areas, won't even work. The longer this has gone on, the worse, of course. BG doesn't even LIKE mature adults.
Let's all remember to continue to:
*speak the TRUTH.
*defend the TRUTH
*dare NOT retract the from the TRUTH
*support the TRUTH
Jesus is the TRUTH. Jesus is the Defender of the TRUTH. Jesus did not retract from the TRUTH. Jesus supported the TRUTH.
RG is the instrument used to show me the Truth. Testimonies of the abused have courageously shared TRUTH wth me. Abuse research shared by abuse counselors through RG have undeniably confirmed the TRUTH as stated by RG's testimonies.
The abuser(s)/abusor(s) supporters cannot successfully rebuttal what has been shared by RG. They must face the facts, and the consequences. They will in time. God's time.
In the mean time, we must not lose heart. We must not fear man. We must not grow weary. "...They that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings like eagles. They shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint...teach me, LORD, to wait."
My husband and I are of those who have been weary, faint-hearted, fearful, discouraged--in learning of this deceitful abuse. But RG has been God's encouragement, just as they have been our educator on this topic. Our strength has been renewed as we have over and over again resolved to "wait."
Thank you RG. Continue on. We are with you. We are making LIFE CHANGES RIGHT NOW, to help give voice and support to the IBLP/ATI victims of sexual abuse--because of what you have taught us.
"The fear of man brings a snare, but those who trust in the LORD shall be safe." (Proverbs 29:26)
I just want to encourage and support any victims who are reading this or who are struggling, whether you've told your stories yet or not, whether you are a victim of ATI or another religious group or a different source entirely. Stay strong. You've done nothing wrong. You are not responsible for any consequences that an offender may experience as a result of his or her chosen actions. You are precious, you have value.
AMEN to this article! All who have published their experiences with ATI/IBLP have my FULL support.....and they did the right thing. It took courage and bravery, and I (along with hundreds of others who see the truth) will stand behind them and validate their decision to stand up and tell the truth.
This good article reminds me of the Benghazi affair. Just hide and spin the truth and by all means protect the president...even if it means that innocent people are hurt and even die. it is amazing how power corrupts. We just can't handle it. No wonder Paul encourages his people to be holy and to live quiet lives, not lives of opulence and notoriety (1Thess 4). Funny how all the apostles were martyred and one was exiled. They did not seek the opulence and applause.
Another one I've heard- You need to stop talking about this. What good does it do to talk about it now?
In my case, the abuser is dead, so it's true that telling the truth will not keep anybody safe from *him*. But it might keep somebody safe from another predator. The above attitude ignores the therapeutic effect of refusing to be shamed any longer and finally speaking up.
Wow, I just discovered this website.
Bill Gothard is directly responsible for destroying mine and my family's lives through manipulation and control.
I've been to maybe 15+ IBLP seminars, was homeschooled through ATIA/ATI from 2nd grade on, attended the Knoxville seminars for a decade, went through the ALERT program, etc...
My parent's full embracement of Bill's teachings made a life for me of insufferable shame and guilt, just through existing, creating mental illnesses, and other powerful destructive forces - even just petrified to live. Bill had the ultimate leverage, as all parents want the best for their children. Bill robbed me of the joy of life.
I've long labeled what I experienced as a child as psychological spiritual abuse, and had no idea about this community, nor the allegations about Bill, that do not surprise me at all. That man is evil. He took my life from me. I have made incredible progress toward recovery, but the effects of being in the ATI program still very much have a serious impact on me to this day.
I now know God is not out to get me and condemn me for being the human He made me to be. I am imperfect. Thank God for His grace and mercy, and His true acceptance - God is love, not a judging ruler of oppression looking for any reason to throw you into hell, where you belong, if you are not perfection.
gliston, We're so glad you discovered our site. You are not alone in your struggles. Please check out our student recovery group on FB if you'd like to connect with other former students who are processing their experience as well: https://www.recoveringgrace.org/recoverygroups/
@gliston: Welcome, welcome, welcome. You're among friendlies. Well, mostly friendlies! It's not always gumdrops and bunny poots here, but I do warmly welcome you. I'm completely overjoyed that you've realized that you're not alone and you're not crazy. I discovered that for myself in 2011, and that realization reduced the negative energy and depressing thoughts in my life by a LOT. Like huge. Peace to you.
Thank you both for the welcome!
@Brumby, oh I feel so much better now, by leaps and bounds. From my perspective, until now, I was alone and felt a little guilt for being the only one in my family to think that man was a complete wackle-bat.
Validation. A calming. Feeling even closer to The Lord, assured of my personal-relationship views, and not second-guessing if I'm going down a black hole as my views of God are love and understanding, not the judging dictator that was drilled into me by BG and his clowns. What is more meaningful to God is a real relationship, in my opinion. It's taken a lot to get there. BG makes God this scare tactic to control people based on their intrinsic psychological needs. I have a few words about Jim
Logan as well. Just thoughts. Nothing illegal.
I should type up my story. It's an insane one. Unbelievably so.
I'd love to hear it.
I would like to speak of those (undoubtedly there are many) young girls who were abused by Gothard (unprotected by his board) and had enough strength and moral fiber to immediately report the truth to their parents. I wish to bring up the fact that there are probably multitudes of godly parents who then protected their daughters from such an abusive predator. They then, as a result of such a disastrous attack upon their beloved child, never had anything else to do with Gothard or his ministry. These stories have been completely lost as a result and many of the parents and victims are unaware that Gothard has been caught because they have stayed as far away from such sexual predators and ministries. They are, no doubt, amazed that any ministry would allow such an ungodly man to remain in power. I'm certain that Gothard's board has had the opportunity to bring the truth to light many times over the last few decades that Gothard has been allowed to continue his predatory abuse.
I know of one such family that has just learned of Gothard's resignation. It is not my place to tell their story. My point is that there must be numerous stories such as theirs that will never come to light.
This sexual abuser should be in prison - not left to enjoy the rest of his life with any question about his abysmal record in ministry.
I appreciate your commenting on this in appropriate places. However, we all must understand that not reporting such behaviors keeps it continuing. Your friends should have reported to the Board and to law enforcement. Report abuse. These are not easy cases to prove but when there are multiple victims they are easier to prove and the victims have protection in numbers. Report abuse. Report "inappropriate" behavior that may be grooming for abuse. Report.
I believe this family you refer to did report the abuse most vigorously. I believe that there are most likely many who did to no avail. Just one of the reasons why it's such a travesty that Gothard has not been prosecuted.
Perhaps the Board is more culpable and should be prosecuted.
I should mention that the abuse I mentioned earlier happened fairly recently and is most likely not affected by the statute of limitations. I would believe that there are many more such cases.
I applaud RG for their efforts to encourage these victims to come forward and to provide help for their recovery.
I am willing to donate to the retention of lawyers for the demise of this predator.
Gayle,
I'm not sure to whom this family reported the abuse. If it was to the local authorities, then they should be investigating. If they are not, then I have to wonder if there may be Gothardites in the local law enforcement there, which are burying this. There are may resources to report sexual abuse beyond the local level. This site is a starting point for some of those resources. I would encourage them to report to every agency possible, local, state and federal:
http://www.stopitnow.org/resources_reporting
Some more resources here:
https://rainn.org/get-information/legal-information
I agree. He belongs in jail. The man has molested children. He almost certainly has a form of sexual addiction, which requires professional help. He is in denial of this and has stated recently that one of his plans is to continue to work with young people, as he has done all his life. His behavior will continue unless someone, who has been abused within the statute of limitations, reports him.
I have heard whispers and rumors that IBLP was in the pockets or otherwise very 'influential' in the local law enforcement/judiciary system, at least awhile back. No idea how true it is, but anything's possible.
Part 2
So here I was, left with this elaborate value system and nothing of value according to the system. How could I submit to parental authority that suddenly ceased to exist? Soooo....life went on. I got busy doing other things. Found a church home, raised a family, blah blah blah. ..yesterday a keywords search brought me to the I guess year-old news flash. Ive been searching and reading ever since. This seems to be the missing piece to my puzzle. Please don't take this down. I'm certain there are others like me, slow on the uptake! They need this information and God is still leading people here! Thank you for using your "voice"!!!!
[…] Christians as well. And most unfortunate was the abuse. Mental, emotional, sexual, and spiritual abuse were rampant in the inner circles of the organization and swept under the rug for the sake of […]