The following article was written by Stephen M. In 2001, when Stephen was 19 years old, one of the many things he experienced emotional turmoil in was a second job--a job he quickly came to despise. He could not quit without experiencing overwhelming guilt because (as he understood it) his mom (and/or God) did not want him to quit. Between a rock and a hard place, he eventually snapped; while on a break during this job he recklessly drove his parents' car and crashed into a street lamp. Though physically unharmed, he was nonetheless escorted by ambulance to the hospital where he was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder.
On November 2, 2003, a European missionary named Ian Green came to the church he was attending. He preached a sermon entitled “Jesus: Better Than You Think.” It was a 50-minute legalism-detox-with-God's-grace session. It proved to be a watershed moment in Stephen's life. Contrary to some doctrine Stephen had previously been taught, Ian showed that someone could lose sight of God’s love and be burdened by guilt that was unnecessary. About six months later, Stephen was baptized of his own choice.
Stephen says, "I have come to learn that the cognitive and behavioral changes needed to overcome Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) run contrary to IBLP teachings. Actually, after years of study and exposure to the stories of many others with mental illness, I now feel the general way IBLP approaches the topic of mental illness is an abomination. With IBLP, way too much emphasis is placed on God's law at the expense of God's grace; people have had the burden of responsibilities and how they must not fail drilled into them. For example, on page 11 of my Basic Seminar workbook it says we are responsible for five things: "Every thought, every word, every deed, every attitude, and every motive of the heart." However, in my treatment for OCD I have learned to transfer responsibility for these things from myself to Jesus--after all that's what the cross was about wasn't it?! (Dr. Ian Osborn demonstrates this transfer of responsibility principle beautifully in his book, "Can Christianity Cure Obsessive Compulsive Disorder?") I also remember learning in the seminar that there probably isn't any such thing as "false guilt" but rather it is "misplaced conviction" (Basic Seminar workbook, page 38); I have now rejected this as a categorical lie which leads people into bondage."
One of the pioneers of the protestant reformation, Martin Luther, was no stranger to mental affliction and depression. He once wrote, “The devil beleaguers and storms a heart with doubt. Often he has offered an argument of such weight that I didn’t know whether God exists or not.” He also says, “The content of the depression was always the same; the loss of faith that God is good and that he is good to me.” That Martin Luther knew what some people suffering mental illness went through might be evidenced when he wrote, “Those who experience sadness of spirit, to them all creatures appear changed. Even when they speak with people who they know and in turn hear them, the very sound of their speech seems different, their looks appear changed, and everything becomes black and horrible wherever they turn their eyes.”
Proverbs 18:14 says, “A person’s spirit sustains him through sickness–but who can bear a crushed spirit?” (NET)
Dr. Dwight L. Carlson writes of the “famous preacher Charles Spurgeon, who lit the fires of the nineteenth-century revival movement. (Charles Spurgeon) struggled so severely with depression that he was forced to be absent from his pulpit for two to three months a year. In 1866 he told his congregation of his struggle:
‘I am the subject of depressions of spirit so fearful that I hope none of you ever get to such extremes of wretchedness as I go (through).’ He explained that during these depressions, ‘Every mental and spiritual labour had to be carried on under protest of Spirit.’”
Sometimes people can look at someone suffering from mental illness and form an opinion based on ignorance, and even their best efforts to help can fall short. Have you ever been counseled by someone who did not seem to understand what you were going through? A church elder once asked this question of a doctor: “The Scriptures tell us that in Christ we have everything we need for life and godliness, correct? So can you explain to me why Anna’s bipolar disorder and her dependence on medication is not an issue of weak faith or sin?”
In the Bible, Job suffered the loss of his material possessions, all of his children, and then finally his physical health as well. In a spirit of anguish Job says, “Let the day perish wherein I was born, and the night in which it was said, ‘There is a man child conceived.’ Let that day be darkness; let not God regard it from above, neither let the light shine upon it” (Job 3:1,2). On top of all this, after hearing Job’s anguish of mind, Job’s friends then began to unjustly criticize and condemn him only adding to the immense physical and emotional pain which already burdened his confused mind.
Job declares in chapter 7: “…I have been made to inherit months of futility, and nights of sorrow have been appointed to me” (vs. 3). Ask yourself this question: Does your theology allow for a time of “futility” in which someone does not seem to be accomplishing anything? Or do you ask how someone could be experiencing the power of Christ if they are wallowing around in depression and sorrow?
If You are depressed, if you are going through difficult times, some people have the idea that it is your fault God cannot heal you. Maybe you don’t have enough faith. But the fact of the matter is that you may be right where God wants You. You may be closer to the life of Jesus than you think. Jesus declares in Matthew 5, “Blessed are the poor in spirit and Blessed are those who mourn…” (Matthew 5:3,4). In Luke 6 Jesus declares, “Blessed are you who are poor, for the kingdom of God belongs to you. Blessed are you who hunger now for you will be satisfied. Blessed are you who weep now for you will laugh.” (Luke 6:20-22, NET)
The world says I’m successful when I have a good job; the world says I am successful when I have lots of money; the world says I’m successful when I have good health; the world says I’m successful when I have the comforts of life; when I’m free of depression or anxiety and when I have lots of friends. Unfortunately, sometimes the Church says the same things. However, we know from the Bible that God’s unnatural selection redefines success. The apostle Paul writes, “So that I would not become arrogant, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to trouble me–so that I would not become arrogant. I asked the Lord three times about this, that it would depart from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” So then I will boast most gladly about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may reside in me. Therefore I am content with weaknesses, with insults, with troubles, with persecutions and difficulties for the sake of Christ, for whenever I am weak , then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 (NET)
For many Jewish people, Jesus coming and dying on the cross caught them off guard. The Messiah was supposed to overthrow the Romans. The Messiah was supposed to bring peace on earth. Isn’t this what a successful Messiah would look like? Do we have faith that He will one day do these things? Likewise is our own salvation–It is dependant on faith; It is dependant on something we do not see. Hebrews 11:1 defines faith as “the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Corrie Ten Boom once said, “Faith is believing in the character of God when life demands the opposite!”
But God has not left us without hope. Romans 8:23-25 says, “But we ourselves who have the first fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we eagerly wait our adoption, the redemption of our bodies. For in hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope, because who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with endurance.” (NET)
Hebrews 2:8,9 says, “…But now we see not yet all things put under him. But we see Jesus…”
When we suffer physical affliction, does God care? We know that Jesus suffered physical pain!
We may be crushed by depression, but we know that Jesus said in Mark 14:34, “My soul is deeply grieved, even to the point of death.” (NET)
We may feel rejected by God. But Jesus said in Mark 15:34, “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?” (NET)
Other people might judge us in something they do not understand or in some way we think is unfair, but we know from Isaiah 53:4 that people “thought He was being punished, attacked by God, and afflicted for something he had done.” (NET)
Isaiah 53:3 says, “He was despised and rejected by people, one who experienced pain and was acquainted with illness; people hid their faces from him; he was despised, and we considered him insignificant.” (NET)
Jesus suffered anguish. In his sermon, “A Call to Anguish,” the late pastor David Wilkerson defines anguish as “Extreme pain and distress. The emotions so stirred that it becomes painful. Acute deeply felt inner pain because of conditions about you, in you, or around you. Anguish. Deep pain. Deep sorrow. Agony of God’s heart. All true passion is born out of anguish. All true passion for Christ comes out of a baptism of anguish.”
When Jesus was judged unfairly, when Jesus was left to suffer humiliation and abandonment of death on the cross, He suffered anguish. Jesus Himself, the God of the universe, was baptized in anguish!
Why does God allow suffering? One pastor has succinctly put it this way, “It’s simple: because He values it.” (Jon Morrison)
Sometimes it is when we ourselves experience pain, and we ourselves are at our weakest, that we are best able to relate to others going through hard times. Jesus associated Himself with the lowest in society. In the Bible we are called to empathize with other people. Hebrews 13:3 says to “Remember those in prison as though you too were in prison with them, and those ill-treated as though you too felt their torment” (NET). Galatians 6:2 says,“Carry one another’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ” (NET).
It is often the people with direct experience to the pain and suffering of mental illness that are best able to relate to others who are afflicted. Sometimes what we find from the ignorant is judgment or criticism. What we can find with the afflicted is grace and compassion. Jesus was afflicted, and He wants to show compassion.
Works Referenced
Carlson, Dwight L. Exposing the Myth that Christians Should Not Have Emotional Problems.” http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/8t2/8t2028.html (7 February, 2002)
Green, Ian (Quote by Corrie T B) www.iangreen.org (21 Nov. 2010)
Morrison, Jon. Suffering as a Core Value. http://ethosyoungadults.com/blog.php?post=Suffering As A Core Value(5 November, 2010)
Osborn, Ian. Can Christianity Cure Obsessive Compulsive Disorder? Grand Rapids, Michigan: Brazos Press, 2008
Stanford, Matthew S. Grace for the Afflicted. Colorado Springs, CO: Paternoster Publishing, 2008.
The Blue Letter Bible, http://www.blueletterbible.org (various dates)
The Holy Bible, King James Version (all unmarked verses are from the King James version)
The NET Bible. The New English Translation, Copyright 2005 by Biblical Studies Press, L.L.C. www.bible.org (all verses marked “NET”)
Wilkerson, David. A Call to Anguish. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lGMG_PVaJoI (17 Nov. 2010)
Great article, excellent points. Thank you for sharing!!!
Yes, wow. Wonderful post!
You managed to weave so much into this short space. I love how you brought in the Sermon on the Mount. And Job, and the rest of it!
This is sad but true: "The world says I’m successful when I have a good job; the world says I am successful when I have lots of money; the world says I’m successful when I have good health; the world says I’m successful when I have the comforts of life; when I’m free of depression or anxiety and when I have lots of friends. Unfortunately, sometimes the Church says the same things."
I was raised believing that worldliness was going to movies, listening to popular music, or wearing fashionable clothes. I now believe that worldliness is defined much differently; it includes such attitudes as the ones you quoted above. When Scripture tells us to stay away from worldliness, I believe forsaking beliefs such as these is MUCH more important than eschewing certain clothing styles because they're trendy.
I have been clinging recently to Psalm 34:18-- "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted."
Not, The Lord rebukes the brokenhearted, or, The Lord sets the brokenhearted aside... but the Lord is NEAR to the brokenhearted, sitting with them (me!) in the midst of pain. Wow.
We actually have a hymn apparently written in 1842 in the middle of a panic attack . . . a blind man, abandoned by his fiance, on the eve of his sister's wedding, who had cared for him:
"Something had happened to me which was known only to myself, and which caused me the most severe mental suffering." He says the words and melody came to him in the immediate wake of that, as though dictated.
Read the account here: http://www.lectionary.org/HymnStories/O%20Love%20that%20Will%20Not%20Let%20Me%20Go.htm George Matheson went on to become one of England's most famous authors, poets, and hymnwriters.
1. O Love that will not let me go,
I rest my weary soul in thee;
I give thee back the life I owe,
That in thine ocean depths its flow
May richer, fuller be.
2. O light that followest all my way,
I yield my flickering torch to thee;
My heart restores its borrowed ray,
That in thy sunshine’s blaze its day
May brighter, fairer be.
3. O Joy that seekest me through pain,
I cannot close my heart to thee;
I trace the rainbow through the rain,
And feel the promise is not vain,
That morn shall tearless be.
4. O Cross that liftest up my head,
I dare not ask to fly from thee;
I lay in dust life’s glory dead,
And from the ground there blossoms red
Life that shall endless be.
There are other such stories, including William Cowper, who wrote many of the beautiful hymns we sing, many with John Newton . . . He wrote "God Works in Mysterious Ways" after a failed suicide attempt, a man dogged by depression . . .
The older I get the more amazed I am at how few of us escape this stuff.
Good thoughts. I can hear that hymn in my head as I read it; it's beautiful.
Thanks for your comments
Mental Illness and religion is an interesting topic.
People with high functioning autism reject the idea of religion much more than the average person.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/psyched/201205/does-autism-lead-atheism
Thoughts?
Very encouraging to think of God's "unnatural" selection of me and all my circumstances, and even my temperament.
Thank you for quoting that hymn, Alfred. Music has a way of ministering to me in a most healing way, and I too am amazed at how much of it was written in the midst of hard times; a variety of hard times. When I found a book called the One Year Book of Hymns(that story probably IS in there) I started putting links to the hymns of that day on people's Facebooks on their birthdays. Let's keep on giving this encouragement to each other. 1 Thessalonians 4:18 comes to mind.
Hymns - like the Psalms - remind us that God really does know what He is doing, even when in a pit that looks impossible. When you realize that others have had the same experience, and survived, and triumphed . . . it completely changes everything.
That hymn has been precious to me, as one that has dealt with some of those "mental sufferings known only to myself". The fact that God could subsequently use a broken, cast off, "dysfunctional" man like that to really be a force both in the kingdom of God and society, well, all you can say is, He is amazing.
I have struggled with this lately. Bipolar people are generally more impulsive because of dopamine levels in their brain. They also are more agitated and aggressive. There are many people with alcohol problems or other addictions trying to self medicate because there are physical problems with their brain. God made them this way, so I often question "to what degree does he hold accountable the autistic, bipolar child that has no control over their own brain chemistry".
I use to be more legalistic. I lived the typical college life and what goes along with it. I then had a child before marriage and recommitted my life to The Lord and never turned back. I feel I gave in to the legalism because it felt safe to me. I couldn't make the distinction between all or nothing. After listening to many ATI sermons, I see that many people in the program operate out of fear. I still get their devotions and treasure them. I just see the "good" they teach can become legalism that is not in scripture and can turn people away from the true gospel. I encouraged all my kids to dress modestly. I had a very legalistic friend reprimand my daughter for a button on her shirt being unbuttoned when she left my house. This did not encourage my daughter towards The Lord. This lady is known in our homeschool group as the fashion/ music police. It only turned my daughter away from what the lady said. It repelled my daughter towards the good, pure and lovely for a while. My daughter has high dopamine levels which makes it more difficult for her to make logical, smart decisions in the heat of the moment. She doesn't feel "perfect", because she is not. It's such a disservice as a Christian to other people to act and appear " perfect". Praise The Lord he brought me out of legalism through my daughter and my fight with Lyme disease.
I had a prideful, super homeschooling mom view of myself until I was stricken with Lyme disease. It affects you physically and mentally. I couldn't stand the sound of my kids voices, it hurt my ears. My nervous system was so attacked that I struggled to engage. I cried all the time and struggled in pain, barely able to walk some days. I am now better, but The Lord opened my eyes to a little glimpse of my daughters world of sensory issues and irritability.
If God allows these things, He has the grace through Jesus Christ to not expect perfection. I now help others by taking my rife machine to help people that can't afford treatment fight their Lyme disease. My daughter now wants to be a counselor. I told her she would make a great counselor. With the upcoming generation of children that have autism/ sensory issues, I would much rather talk to her than the perfect little "ATI " girl that plays the violin, and has never dealt with any real, life issues. God's ways are not our ways. We want "perfect" children, but when we sacrifice children for God's eternal plan, like Abraham and Isaac, it may not look exactly as planned. Does God love you more than me because I had Lyme and my daughter has mild sensory/dopamine levels? No!
Please!!! Don't ever fall into legalism.
Best wishes for your daughter! If I could be so bold, I would recommend Grace College's graduate program as one to consider: http://www.grace.edu/graduate-programs
For reference, one of the profs there is Tammy Schultz, author of this book: http://www.amazon.com/Beyond-Desolate-Tammy-Schultz/dp/0884692795/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1353954689&sr=8-1&keywords=beyond+desolate
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hello,
i have been struggling with ocd and doubt for many years.
i am terribly hopeless and depressed.
nothing offers any comfort. the bible says without faith you
cant please God and Jesus said you must not doubt in your heart.
i looked up the greek words used for heart in the bible and it
means the same as mind. this means that there is NO distinction
between doubts in the mind and doubts in the heart!
this absolutely crushed me. this means if a person has doubts in
her mind then this is the same as doubting in the heart. this means
i do not have a hidden faith! some preachers say you can have faith
in the heart and doubt in the mind at the same time. but i cannot find this in the bible!
i feel so terrible. why does the bible not offer any comfort or solutions for doubts? the bible only condemns doubts. this only makes my doubts worse. no christians seem to understand this torment. they dont have answers. i seeked for help at so many places nobody can help me. it's so terrible. for me being a christian makes me suffer even more.
Eric, I'm so sorry for what you've been going through, I can certainly relate to some of your story, if not all of it. You say that you have no hidden faith, my dear friend, you believe in God, and are a born again Christian, means that you DO have faith! And Jesus talked about having faith the size of a grain of mustard seed. I reckon even just believing is a bit bigger than a grain of mustard seed.
Perhaps, in a way, the very fact that you are holding on to God in spite of all your doubts, is much more pleasing to Him than all the confidence in the world, because that touches His heart. He knows what it is like to be human, He KNOWS our struggles in a very real, intimate way.
I don't know that heart and mind are the same thing. While the Greek word may mean the same thing, the context of each verse may be different, and from what little I know of Greek, the way a sentence is arranged determines the meaning of the word, unlike the way English is understood. The same word would have a different meaning under a different context. Maybe do a little more research?
One last thought, maybe God is actually allowing this doubt, in order for you to find Him in a way you never have before. In my experience, doubt is what brought me out of many false teachings. It wasn't that I doubted God persay, although I certainly questioned Him about alot of things. I think He likes to be questioned, honestly.
Ok, one more last thought. My mentor has suggested to me during my devotionals, in each chapter I read, find an element of the character of God. Be it, justice, kindness, wrath, love, etc.. find it and thank Him for it. Just one step at a time, and it may be that little baby steps may help to clear your head so you can think straight for one, instead of trying to do away with all of it at once.(and maybe in being able to think straight, plenty of those doubts will go away on their own.) He loves you, and your story isn't finished yet.
I hope this is helpful to you! God bless you my friend!
Eric, I think you've been talking to the wrong Christians. Doubt is a normal part of a life of faith. Some of God's favorite people struggled with doubt... Abraham is a great example, for instance.
I like the way Tim Keller describes this. He says there’s a conservative and a liberal way to deal with our doubts. The conservative way is to say that any level of doubt is bad, that to question things is wrong, that doubt is failure. And it sounds like you may have come from a church background where it wasn’t a safe place to express doubt, because to admit doubt was to bring others to question your salvation. Sadly, that's a community where everyone knows the party line but there’s a void of intellectual honesty that allows people to wrestle with truth. Doubt is seen as a threat to the order. And in your case you see doubt and faith as absolutely incompatible.
But the liberal way of addressing doubt swings the opposite way; it says doubt’s not a threat; it’s your greatest virtue. It’s the pathway to open-mindedness, and we need to be open-minded about everything. And so they would say, it’s good to have a certain level of cynicism and doubt about everything, and expressing your doubts is seen as a progressive thing. And that may seem modern but underneath it all you have to at least allow yourself the possibility that it’s really just cowardice. It’s an unwillingness to claim any conviction at all. Keller says if you’re going to doubt everything, you need to doubt your doubt too… you need to look underneath it and say, maybe doubt is just a game I’m playing to keep from ever having to show some courage of conviction.
Anyways, the Bible lands right in the middle on this one. It doesn’t see doubt as a threat but it also doesn’t see doubt as some sort of noble lifestyle. The great example is Thomas in John 20. We call him Doubting Thomas because when the resurrected Jesus appeared to the disciples, Thomas missed out, and then when he heard about it, he said ‘I won’t believe it till I see it.’ But look at what Jesus does there. He doesn’t go the conservative route: ‘Thomas, how could you? How dare you question me!’ But he doesn’t go the liberal route either: “Good for you, Thomas; you keep a healthy open mind like that and you’ll go far in life.” What does Jesus do? He meets him in his doubt and then he helps him see past it. He says, “OK, Thomas, you want to see the wounds? Here they are.” If Thomas was making a sinful request, why did Jesus give it to him? He meets Thomas in his doubt… but then he says, “OK, let’s move on now. Stop doubting and believe.”
In the Christian faith, doubt isn’t encouraged, but doubters are welcome. Because wrestling with your doubt takes you deeper with God. The philosopher William Lane Craig said, “The secret to dealing with doubt in the Christian life is not to resolve all of one’s doubts. One will always have unanswered questions. Rather, the secret is learning to live victoriously with one’s unanswered questions.”
Let me know your thoughts on this... I hope it's an encouragement to you. Your doubt does not disqualify you. It is NOT THE AMOUNT OF YOUR FAITH THAT SAVES YOU, Eric, but WHO YOUR FAITH IS IN. Mustard seed stuff, like Megan said as well.
I second the motion for Keller's writings. Any book by Keller will likely be helpful. Another book that I really like is this: http://www.amazon.com/Discovering-Our-Spiritual-Identity-Practices-ebook/dp/B00CBQFZLA/ref=sr_1_1
My heart goes out to you with these feelings of despair and struggling with the OCD, eric. Do you have a good therapist or counselor to talk with about these things?
Thanks for sharing Eric.
As a Christian with OCD I have struggled and continue to struggle big time with doubt as well. (I would love to exchange contact info and my testimony with you as well if you are willing).
James 1:6-8 sounds very condemning to you and I; It sounds like God is going to reject us and our prayers because of our OCD which we can't even help. If this is true then how can we love such a God?
If the anti-doubt requirement was the only message of the Bible I would probably not want to be a Christian. However, I think as many persons here who have come out of legalism and graduated from their law-tutor into grace would attest to, the view point changes somewhat from "I must do this to avoid condemnation" or "I must be sure of this to be saved" to I am condemned BUT...the love of Jesus.
Doubt is a violation of the law; the law which says: "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind." Scripture condemns falling short of the law’s requirements repeatedly in both Old and New Testament (eg. book of James) but the entirety of scripture allows for salvation at God’s discretion apart from our following the law: "According to HIS mercy He saves us”; "So then it is not of him that willeth, nor of him that runneth, but of GOD that sheweth mercy.”
Do you really believe that God will reject those who naturally doubt more because of the way their brain works? The God who said “I was sought by those who did not ask for Me; I was found by those who did not seek Me.”, the God who said “A bruised reed shall he not break, and the smoking flax shall he not quench”, the God who Himself goes out to find His lost sheep?
God even seems to allow for the salvation of someone who doesn’t even believe everything He says (gasp): “though you do not believe Me, believe the works, that you may know and believe that the Father is in Me, and I in Him” (John 10:38).
Consider Revelation 12:10: “Now is come salvation, and strength, and the kingdom of our God, and the power of his Christ: for the accuser of our brethren is cast down, which accused them before our God day and night.” If Satan is actually spending effort accusing God’s people you’d think he’d have some pretty compelling scriptures to back up his accusations right? He might be saying “God you can’t save Eric or answer his prayers because of what you wrote in James 1:6-8. I can imagine Jesus responding “Oh can’t I? Just watch me”.
Eric,
thank-you for sharing your struggle and thank-you for a very well written article. There are many historical Christian leaders and saints that have struggled with a number of mental illnesses like depression and anxiety. There needs to be more compassionate understanding and care in the area.