It’s Thanksgiving and all across the social media venues, I’m sure you’ve seen or heard “30 days of Thanks” type of updates. Sometimes it is difficult for me to do those things because they don’t feel very genuine. I am not one who likes to post something just for the sake of posting. And many times former ATI students also feel the same as I do. We are thankful and grateful people, but the days of forced “sharing” all too often make us hesitant to join with the social media barrage. And so, a group of us posted the things we are thankful for this year. We ask you, dear readers, please… Hear our heart. Hear our mind. Hear that we are so very grateful for Jesus and the freedom that the truth of HIS grace gives to each of us.
“I thankful that I truly am thankful! I’m not faking anything anymore! I don’t have to put on a mask! – J”
“I’m thankful for all I’ve experienced. Its given me contrast. After having lived in huge bondage I know what real freedom is. – T”
“I am thankful to have real authentic people in my life who truly care about me and who are there for me. I am thankful to be among people who show me what grace really is. – R”
“I’m thankful that I can finally feel positive emotions! Happiness, peace, contentment, love, gratefulness. After years of being numb and only feeling negative emotions, being able to genuinely FEEL is amazing. It wasn’t overnight – it has taken over two years of baby steps. I’m thankful I’m free from the burden of knowing all the right steps and principles for a perfect life. It was exhausting trying to attain spiritual perfection in all areas of life. – B”
“I am most thankful for is that when the flashbacks are over or I awaken from my nightmares, I can look around me and know I’m no longer there, and I’m safe where I am. – K”
“I’m grateful that ATI taught me to think deeply on a subject, and not just be content with a shallow explanation: they taught me to think, and thinking made me see the legalism and leave. – J”
“I’m thankful that I’ve been there/swallowed that, and am now so much stronger as a spiritual individual – I don’t ‘buy into’ ideologies, movements, lingo, denominational distinctions now. I’m simper. I’m humbler. My expectations are (ironic, yes?) LOWER. And I’ve got a capacity for gratefulness for small joys that’s expanded enormously since coming out of what we experienced. – W”
“I am thankful for the realization that all that matters is who I am in Christ – and that my position in His love has absolutely nothing to do with my efforts. My life is not about gathering blessings and rewards as it was in ATI – there is nothing greater than what God has already given me. – S”
“I’m Thankful for the truth…and for the constantly unfolding walk He has me on…as I look back I don’t think I actually spiritually grew for 8 years. I was so bound up in ‘doing’ that I wasn’t ‘being’! – L”
“I’m Thankful for Recovering Grace and a support group to work through baggage and beliefs from ATI that affected me in areas I wasn’t even aware. Thankful for a growing awareness of the lovingkindness of Jesus and His astounding grace toward me every.single.day. – S”
“I’m thankful for my hubby and kids, and our 2 dogs. Believe it or not, my dogs are the best therapy some days. Also thankful that the God that I know now, is full of mercy and grace, and sees me thru Jesus’ eyes, and doesn’t hold my failures in my face. – A”
“I’ve learned to think for myself again, learned that my husband doesn’t have to take care of me, and learned that the “take-orders” personality I lived in for years was only halfway my own. Most of all, while I have a lot of hard questions that God hasn’t answered, I can finally approach him in confidence as his child. Not just a child whom he loves, but a child whom he LIKES. – S”
“I am thankful for the community I have found in x-er groups; finding people who understand where I came from, finding people who understand, who *get it* has been invaluable for me. I am thankful for the freedom I have found that has allowed me to discover who I am. I am thankful for my friends who have helped me on my journey, being supportive and being there for me when I desperately needed a friend. I am thankful for books, that I can read whatever I want now and that books have expanded my small world into a huge world, full of knowledge and adventure. Lastly and most importantly, I am thankful for my dear sweet husband, who loves me as I am; he makes my life better every day I am with him. – J”
“I am thankful that a little over a year ago I discovered the RG website. The discovery of what Grace is all about has literally changed my life. I’m thankful for my wonderfully supportive husband who has walked through this difficult journey with me and given me the freedom to truly express my emotions and process difficult things. I’m thankful for our new church family that is very grace-based. I’m thankful for my painful life experiences that have given me a greater empathy for other victims of abuse. I’m thankful for God’s faithfulness even when I falter and fear and that even when He is silent, He is never absent from my life. – E”
"Not just a child whom he loves, but a child whom he LIKES."
This hit my deepest hurts. Under legalism, both from my BG-influenced church and before that from my Italian mom who was trying to raise a kid she did not understand, I was judged by both on performance and looks. I was actually taught not to like myself. I heard over and over again from my mom, "I love you but I do not like you." And I could do nothing right to please her. (or God, especially since I did not line up with the BG status quo of what a "godly, god-pleasing woman" should act and look like.
But today at 80 I am thankful. The list is too long to go into but it can be summed up with that knowing God likes me as I am, created me as I am, that I like myself.
ARG!!!! I SHOULD PROOF READ! I AM 60 NOT 80 (that will come soon enough------------- I hope!)
And for those who think they have missed something being raised under BG strictness, be thankful your parents either did not allow a TV or strictly controlled what you watched. Over the years (late 60's to now) I saw American culture/TV/media turn into a cesspool. If your parents did not want you to watch TV or read certain things, that is why. I used to tell my students that what passes for normal life today(sex without marriage, gay sex, cursing, bloody detailed violence/murder) on TV today, had they shown those shows on TV when I was a kid in the 60's those responsible for making the show would have been arrested.
Here's the problem with watching all that stuff, it stays in your head and pops up at the worst times. What it does to the moldable minds of children and teens is not a good thing. I have also told my students it was healthier to look at dog poop than watch what passes for entertainment today on TV or computer games, etc.
Yes!
I'm thankful for people who understand what I've been through and am dealing with. Especially since I didn't understand it. I'm thankful for my husband encouraging me to be free. I'm thankful that Thanksgiving can be just the two of us and that IS family and doesn't mean I'm a failure or unloving.
I never dreamed healing from the pain of the abuse I suffered because of BG would be possible. I hurt so deeply, so shamefully. But God has brought me out of the domain of darkness and has lovingly cared for me through a few counselors and a good friend who brought me into the light of His love for me. I identify exactly with the comment B made in this article. It took me two years as well to walk, no crawl, through the emotional numbness and pain to a place of joy and peace. I am thankful, so very thankful, for this website that opened my eyes to the Truth. I did not see the lies that were killing me until I came here and it all came together for me. I made a few comments here and there over the past two years on my journey towards healing and each time someone on this site spoke words of life to me. I am just so grateful. My cup runneth over.
What beautiful testimonies of God's grace!
My family didn't follow BG advice on food. We grew up eating a very large verity of foods. I myself took on the not eating pork idea. Well I'm free from BG teachings, but I still don't eat pork just cause I don't like it.