Since our readership has rapidly expanded over the past few years, and especially during the past few months, we want to take some time this summer to draw attention to earlier articles for those who may have missed them. Today's article was among our first articles published on Recovering Grace in
September of 2011.
I sat in the middle seat of the wood-grained station wagon, peering over the blue leather seats ahead of me, trying to get the best view I could out of the front windshield. I was on mission with my family to complete an ATI homeschool assignment for that day:
“As a family, drive to a busy supermarket. Park near the entrance so that you can observe from your car those who enter and leave the store. Try to be as inconspicuous as possible. Write down all you can for each of the following points. Use the vocabulary words throughout your report.” [1]
All around the parking lot, people were walking into the store. As my family sat in our car and watched the automatic doors of the shop open and close, with possible prospects appearing, I felt like everyone surely must be watching me as I sat in the car, wondering why I didn’t exit the vehicle. My eight-year-old mind tried to wrap itself around the given task and complete it in as short a time as possible.
But what was I trying to distinguish from these people marching to and fro?
- Things that are obvious and without question.
- Relationships and conditions that are obvious from the initial observations.
- Inward attitudes that are reflected from outward evidences.
- Basic needs that are obvious from the observations, distinctions and perceptions.
I glanced back at one of the examples printed on my assignment paper:
EXAMPLE:
“I discern that the young woman walking toward the store has the attire of an immoral woman and needs to gain moral freedom. I also discern from the hardness of her facial features that she needs to overcome bitterness toward those who have wronged her.”
“What’s immoral?” I wondered, “And what does ‘hardness of facial features’ mean?” My little brain shifted into overdrive as an inner battle began to tear at my thoughts. “What’s wrong with that lady? Why do I have to find something bad?” My normally cheerful demeanor was darkened by the burden of having to pick out defects in others.
But then a woman was pointed out, and I stuffed my mixed emotions deep inside and began scribbling onto my paper some of the words that my Wisdom Booklet had taught me to say: bitterness, anger, strongholds, lack of authority, root cause, spirit of rebellion, eye traps in her immodest gym shorts…
Does this sound strange to anyone but me? Is anyone else asking “What in the world were those people thinking?” or maybe “Who has that much time?” Or maybe you’re wondering why someone would attempt to teach children to be so critical? I wonder these things too.
Now I read Psalm 139 and try to put a once-skewed subject into proper context. Instead of trying to discern others’ attitudes and behaviors, I recognize that only God knows their thoughts and their ways. And I remember that only He knows mine as well.
“God, You have searched me, and You know me. You know my true thoughts. You are familiar with all of my ways. Before a thought is in my mind, You’ve already known it. You lay Your hand on me and guide me through those who criticize and judge me based on my appearance…. You created my inmost being. I am fearfully and wonderfully made–the way that I think, my personality, my outward appearance, my quirks–You know all of these things… and You made me anyway. So search me, God, know my thoughts, see if there is any anxious thought in me, and lead me in the right way always.”[2]
How do those thoughts line up with Bill Gothard’s assignment? How are the words written by David, inspired by God, to be compared to the task Mr. Gothard wrote?
As an adult, I sometimes revisit that day when I walk across a parking lot. I chuckle thinking about me trying to get the best view out of the windshield while staying buckled into my seat belt. But then I feel a twinge of sadness and I hope that there is not a little girl inspecting me, prying the flaws out of my appearance, and teaching herself to fabricate such perceptions about her own little body, little life, little mind.
I hope, instead, that she is learning to do what I didn’t learn early enough:
“Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things… And the God of peace will be with you.”[3]
The blue leather seats, Wisdom Booklets, and discernment projects are all things of my past, but it’s important that I align those memories with what I know now to be true: God’s grace is sufficient and it applies to me even on the days when I might have ‘hard facial features’ because of life’s curve balls. This learning about God is an ever-evolving process, and it’s an every day journey toward Recovering Grace.
[1] All content from this assignment quoted from Wisdom Booklet 1, Advanced Training Institute International, Institute in Basic Life Principles
[2] Psalm 139, paraphrased, Today’s New International Version (TNIV)
[3] Philippians 4:8-9, Today’s New International Version (TNIV)
I remember doing this “project for little people” where the judgmentalism that results from gracelessness reared its ugly head. It's crazy just how "normal" it felt back then. But as a kid, it was all I knew. It wasn’t until I grew older that I found myself surrounded more and more by grace-filled, Christ-like people. A few years ago, I visited a friend up in Colorado and her family. There was a day when I broken down in tears after a situation with someone else had gone sour. She and I were parked in a car right outside a Costco. To remind me of just how much God cared, she pointed me toward the people walking by. “Hey. Do you see that lady with the baby? God loves her. Do you see the man carrying his groceries? He knows every struggle He's going through right now.” She introduced me to the song "Give Me Your Eyes" by Brandon Heath, which has still remained with me to this day. I didn’t know it at the time, but I was experiencing the very antithesis of what was drilled into me throughout my childhood. And how cathartic it was!
That is what that mall exercise should have been like! Antidote is the perfect word for it.
In reading about this assignment, what you have described is how I think any godly parent should use these "wisdom booklets". Thanks for the song too. Next time I hear it I'll remember to pray for all of you, and over those closest to the top. Keep sharing!
Yes, I was thinking, you could have written "I discern that that person has been wounded by sin and sorrow and needs to know the love and grace of God at a deep level." Just write that for every person and be done with it!
WOW! So THIS is where it came from! A lady I know who used the ATI program made this very statement in judging someone walking from KMart!I never thought when I heard un-Christ-like statements about people from others using the ATI program that it was an assignment to teach them how to judge someone just by their appearance. I mean, this happens all the time with non-Christians and Christians alike which is unfortunate, but I would have never thought it was TAUGHT to them through this program! In saying that, not all the people I know using ATI have shown that type of ignorance, but some certainly have. This is so sad.
Sadly, we weren't just taught to judge others harshly, but ourselves, for every little infraction that makes us human.
THANK YOU, RG, for reposting that! I had not read it previously, and it was such a brilliant reflection of the grace of God that has wrought freedom in this sister's heart, simultaneously shining a brilliant light on the unbiblical foundation of the teaching of Gothard. Praise God that He has revealed the truth of His Word to her! Satan has been defeated! O that all who have been damaged by this false gosepl might find that same freedom and that same Savior.
Thank you for reposting, an thank you to the author. I remember my mother vehemently opposed that assignment. I am so very grateful she did, although I know I did not later escape the pressure to judge people, including myself, (more) in ATI TCs and events.
Yep, we did it at the grocery store.
http://heresyintheheartland.blogspot.com/2013/04/the-rest-of-story.html
I read the story some time ago, Jeri. I read it with my mouth hanging open in disbelief. When I finished I had that "hair standing up on the back of your neck" feeling. You see, I lived in Acme, Michigan and shopped at that Tom's Foods all the time. I moved there in 1993, so it was several years later than your story. But the thought that I could have easily had someone judging me, my husband and my 2-year-old son as we left the store is just plain creepy. Sometimes I went alone and was in my work clothes and not looking too fresh, after a long day of teaching. Sometimes I might have pulled on a sweatshirt and a pair of jeans just to get a gallon of milk, as we lived a mile away. Sometimes I would have had my little blond two-year-old boy with me. It was rare that our whole family went to the store together: if we were both available, one of us would stay home with our son. In other words, I would have been judged differently depending on the day. How weird and sick is that? I now live about 20 miles from that Tom's Market, but every time I pass by I think about the ATI story.
Oh, my, Nancy! My family shopped there frequently until about 2008. Our paths probably crossed at some time. The event is seared into my memory, too. Even when I would visit the area on vacation, I would always picture that afternoon in the Suburban in that part of the parking lot. :(
Meanwhile Bill is playing footsie...
Glad that the Lord has transformed your heart in spite of the negative experience you described. When I see people sometimes and may be quick to jump to a conclusion, I try to think of what Jesus sees when He looks at that person--a broken heart? a family without enough food to eat? a parent out of work? an abused person? May God's grace encompass our lives and flow out to others! Thankful for the great freedom we have in Christ!
How very sad to require this of small children. How do anyone of us know what some other person's battle is? Bill Gothard should be deeply ashamed of the ungodly principles he flogged as godly teaching...Makes you wonder, who is his god???? It certainly is not the God of the Bible. Maybe he had a likeness of himself made and bows to that. His teaching is disgusting. A wolf in sheep's clothing. We are instructed to go into all the world and preach the gospel, not set ourselves up as judge and jury. Twisted.
Yes, it does make one wonder who BG's god is? As I review his material and all these comments, I sometimes feel gothardism has more in common with Islam than the true God of the Bible. In Islam which mean submission in Arabic, there is such a heavy emphasis on women submitting to men. The image of Allah in Islam is one of master/slave not an image of God the loving Father. The heavy emphasis on women dressing modestly to the point of completely covering up in butkas corresponds to Gothard's emphasis on women in long shirts and loose tops in order not to tempt men. The blame on women when they are raped or violated corresponds to what Gothard teaches. To think that as an assignment for young children to sit in a car to "judge" the character of strangers is just beyond the pale.
Articles like this bring so much remorse. Yes, I have moved on in life but I was the one at the helm teaching little eyes to judge. It brings so much remorse.
This article was beautifully written, concise, and with the correct way of thinking being pointed out. Thank you. More scales off the eyes, more wall broken down here.
Hard facial features - this is all sick and bazaar. I was so very, very judgmental. In fact, the ATI-ers I know were busy profiling and judging one another as well. It just never stopped.
The Holy Spirit gives discernment AS NEEDED - which is not to be mistaken for the profiling of judgmental people who then tell themselves that God has shown them something.
And... Glad to be free of this - you hit the nail on the head.
"God, I thank you that I am not like..."
Sounds like Gothard and his writers use a bible that is missing everything that follows.
"When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd." Matthew 9:36.
Gothard's teaching is so destructive, and so contrary to the heart of Jesus.
Like some child is qualified to judge me by my appearance. maybe I'm frowning because I'm trying to remember ALL the ingredients I need for a special meal and forgot my list. Maybe I'm frowning because i'm thinking about a problem at work. Maybe I'm frowning because like grumpy Cat, that's the position of my facial muscles when i'm relaxed. Maybe i am one of those people who is angry all the time. But no one who doesn't know me is capable of making that judgment. Especially not a child.
The very bottom line of ATI always has been, "Your outward appearance shows your heart." So by golly (oops, did I just use an euphemism?) we all believed that we better look the best we could because that meant we were perfect!
To think that one of the mantras of homeschooling used by our parents was "we have to keep them home to protect them from being exposed to sinful/inappropriate/non-'Christian' ideas at a young age." My heart weeps to read how young children were exposed to strong negative ideas about sexuality and being unknowingly groomed for abuse and abusing of women... truly, we were not ready at that age to discern evil. Even as a kid whose parents knew but didn't subscribe to ATI, we couldn't help picking up on the constant comments and judgment of women based on their appearances, loaded with implicitly sexual judgments of immorality, exposing of flesh, etc., topics so weighty for little people. What a terrible message it was to carry into puberty and adolescence. Talk about causing little ones to stumble. http://biblehub.com/mark/9-42.htm
In my family we were always told not to judge others by my parents. So we didn't instead we looked on them with pity for not being "enlightened" as we were. It wasn't something my parent's intended to happen, it just followed as a matter of course. I appreciate articles like this so much! Thank you!