
Through IBLP and his “homeschool” program (the Advanced Training Institute), Bill Gothard stifled hundreds of dreams in the name of godly living.
As the first wave of apprenticeship students reached teenager-hood beginning in the 1990s, all of us naturally needed to explore and develop our own gifts. But as we sat through Gothard’s sessions in Knoxville and the training centers, we discovered that our fledgling passions were dangerous.
Gothard warned that exploration and curiosity might lead us out from under authority, which would open us up to Satan’s destruction. So, to be safe, we had to channel our gifts toward pre-approved goals that reinforced his own seven basic principles. If a dream stretched beyond the sharply-drawn boundaries of the Institute, we learned that we should discard it.
And that went double for females. A young woman’s passion couldn’t ever compete with the Institute ideal of submissive womanhood. She was to crave motherhood; otherwise, her purpose was to help her father or husband achieve their dreams.
As a young ATI woman, I was lucky—my passion was writing. That fit in really well with the Virtuous Womanhood ideal. But Gothard’s teachings managed to fence that in, too. Writing fantasy was bad because of magic. Writing romance was bad because of sex. Thanks to Gothard’s teachings against “cliques,” even stories about friends were suspect.
But I never stopped writing. Everyone around me encouraged my gift. I went through those straitened teenage years and emerged on the other side with my dream intact.
Gothard was already there.
He’d always promised us that we’d change the world. Business owners would offer us jobs, colleges marvel at our knowledge, city leaders request to hear our wise counsel. All we had to do was live by his seven principles and demonstrate our sterling character. We certainly shouldn’t focus our time and energy (and our parents’ money) on school or our future careers.
He had smiling apprenticeship students give testimonies of how they stayed under authority, lived the right way, and saw God bring all their dreams to life.
(All these young people worked for the Institute, of course. And we somehow completely missed the fact that Bill sure didn’t just sit around waiting for God to sell his books and run his seminars.)
I got the message. I shouldn’t bother to take classes to improve my writing, and I shouldn’t make an effort to promote or sell what I did write. A former teacher of mine got me a job at the local newspaper, but I didn’t capitalize on the opportunity. I “worked where God put me,” without any thought of how I could use my experience to lay a foundation for a writing career. After all, even though I was deviating from the Institute ideal by working outside the home, I still thought my highest and best purpose was marriage and motherhood.
I married at age twenty-three, and was a mother by age twenty-four. I was happy about both events. But I realized that it wasn’t enough. Woman though I was, there was much more to me than these two facets of my life.
Looking back, I’m sorry for all the stifled musicians, artists, engineers, teachers, and would-be doctors and nurses who found out that God didn’t just make things happen for them. It’s a lot harder to pursue a dream when you’ve got a marriage and children at stake.
Again, I was lucky. Writing fits into the empty spaces of everyday life. I blogged throughout my children’s young years. After a few years, I started reading articles about marketing my writing. Finally, when I was thirty, I dared to contact the editor of a local parenting magazine. She liked my blog and accepted my articles. I wrote for them for years.
God didn’t bring her to me, or even make our paths cross. I had to find her, and I had to have a good back catalogue of writing samples. I had to do it myself.
Of course, even now with a regular blogging job and a novel coming out this fall, I can’t possibly support myself or my children with my writing. I’m fortunate that my husband has a good job and is committed to his family, but it’s a precarious existence to be completely dependent on another person’s good health and good behavior.
We’re all kind of shortsighted when we’re young and single. I wouldn’t have written any bestselling novels by age twenty-one even without Gothard’s teachings. But I wouldn’t have wasted my time thinking that living a righteous life would open up all my pathways without any effort from me.
Bill stole, stifled, and neutralized my generation’s dreams. I hope he doesn’t wonder too hard why we would dare to challenge his.
I am so glad that God gave me a strong will and a bit of rebellion and ability to think for myself---the urge to do what I wanted to (art, ride horses, teach in public school, wear comfortable clothing, not dresses, rescue lost cats and dogs, etc) even though thinking all the time I was sinning. And I was not sinning because the things I wanted to do I could just not find in the bible as sin, regardless of what the good Baptist/gothardist men tried to convince my husband was God's will for my life.
Yes, the dangers of "an independent spirit," whatever that is. It wound up being a tactic to control people into thinking they were evil for having personal aspirations of any sort.
By the way, how did people ever reconcile having an independent spirit with the character quality of creativity?
LynnCD,your comment sort of opened the door from a word you used which the secularists hate:"evil".So "archaic and outdated",however from the realm of the Kingdom of God,not so undefined.This is different from helpless sinners being forgiven,perhaps deceived as I was by the Great Suppressor,taken in various sins of the flesh,wanting to do good,no self discipline to resist certain temptations.Can we as sinners be sinners without being necessarily wicked sinners?Absolutely.But when this theological concept comes up Christ Himself said it "is necessary that evil should come but"Whoa unto him by whose hand it comes by".The line of demarcation between sins commited by the outward seemingly righteous impeccable Pharisees,were different thru Christ's disclosure.PHARISEES were totally denounced as being in danger of total banishment from God.I'm not implying that evil people can't be forgiven,but what's in back of their motives,a much more sinister and vile,yet subtle manipulation of victims to exploit,aggrandize in helplessness,and plunder;and what of Gothard's supramoralism? "evil" done under Gothard's Totalitarianism,masqueraded as good,reinforced by Staff,who cast a blind eye,looked the other way;people fallen by the wayside Bill insisting on being misunderstood,staff willingly oblivious,for years.My question is am I going to be assimilated as an evil wicked person,by this system,not speaking out;are others caught in this net of compliance for what could have been should have been done,but was not;will we become more than sinners in deliberate volition,no longer friends of God,but enemies to be unmasked at a future date?Yes I am a sinner,but no I don't in the Light of Jesus want to be evil or wicked.
David, if you are seriously in doubt, I would suggest that your asking whether you are caught in the net, constitutes evidence that you are free. Those caught don't ask the question.
DAVID PIGG, I don't understand what you are saying in response to my comment. All I meant by my comment is Gothard tried to make normal aspirations and maturation in decision making out to be evil, when they are not evil, but are part of growing up. And I asked how you could have "creativity" and not also have an "independent spirit."
You have a question at the end that appears to be rhetorical, as you have spoken out against the system.
Don Rubottom and LynnCD:Your comments are always greatly appreciated as I don't take people with opposition to BG for granted.Thanks for your elowquence and encoutagement!Recovering Grace was and is the main group to have revealed what has been suppressed.Forgive me for going down a rabbit trail,not staying totally on the point you were making about the presumption of choice.We had no choice because we had,even now have no rights in his caste system.Your comment about the independent spirit,repressed by Gothardism,so contradicted by Gothard's smokescreen of potential creativity he sees his verbage giving us as we become a subjected automaton.I am depressed at the indifference people have for the essence of the cause of real spiritual life.Life in its undefied dignity,spiritual life in its pure prehistine newness potentially ours in Jesus,irregardless of our past sins,gained by grace alone.Even at this point challenged by Gothard to be cast away as rubbish for his useless substitutes OF DEATH!Evil as people turn away from God,from disappointment,wickedness brought before us in the name of consumerist sales pitches approving established names endorsed;now they don't want to be involved.Heroes you guys are for staying a course some say there is no legitimacy in,as already the mask is peeled away.
Don't let the darkness depress you, David. Let your lamp be filled with oil and SHINE! The darkness will flee.
Yes! This is absolutely correct. I feel for the athelic children under this educational fraud because that is what this is. I read once somewhere that the famous verse from Proverbs "train up your child in the way he should go ..." Is not so much about discipline but about developing your child's gifts and talents that God gave your child. So all interests, talents desires are God's plans for the "way he should go".
Great thought! Thanks for sharing
It is terrible to think about the wrong impact that Bill Gothard had on soooo many people. Such as, ladies should never ever have a job outside the family home(except to be Billy's "pretty girl"). She must hunker down, be content, and serve her father like an idol. And she must never ever even think of serving people in other countries without a husband by her side... nope, that's all man's work...
Great article Sara. It is something that I believe some people don't even realize that they are be affected by (that of stifling one's dreams).
and so timely with the problems that are coming out of the Duggar family, which was raised strictly on a diet of Gothardism. So sad that the unbelievers in this nation are viewing that as actual christianity.
Great, but sad article. You think hundreds of dreams might have been stifled, but I'd say well into the thousands or more. His ideas have been spread out for years and all over the world. I'm just sick over this. I can't seem to understand how his "principles" could be so widely accepted by other ministers and practiced by so many families who read their bibles. It really is very clear that he twists scripture and teaches a false gospel. Loyalty to man under any circumstance? It's wrong. Duggars and Bates are friends with BG, so they can't publicly disagree or even entertain the idea that he could be wrong? My pastor was following some of BG's ideas and even though my husband went to the elders and they agreed with him that the pastor was unbiblical, in the end my husband stood alone in a meeting with all the men (women were't important enough to be there *rolling eyes*) and evidently, their friendship with the pastor took precedence over telling him he was wrong. So many peoples lives could be different just in that small church if people would have stood up for real truth.
I know there was a woman doing a study of IBLP's financial impact on the earnings/potential of the ATI students. I think it was original research for a thesis of some kind. Did this study ever get published?
I hope this is true and that there are some hard core type numbers of how many students went through ati and what really happen to them beyond working for Bill.
I'm so glad that my dad started questioning the fact that all the apprenticeship opportunities that BG had advertised about ATI (as being an alternative to secular college - which would turn children's hearts away from God), were actually unpaid ministry opportunities to further BG's whims. Not a single family coordinator or ATI father would listen to my dad, and told him he needed to have more faith and wait on God's leading. Dad got us out of ATI in my late teens/early 20's after spending almost a decade under the Institute's false teachings, and had us all get GED's and encouraged us to go to college. Sadly all of my parent's college savings had gone into BG stuff, so my sister and I had to pay our own way. Shortly into my first year in college, I happened to have lunch with BG at the Indy training center while visiting a friend who worked for him, and was appalled when BG told me that I shouldn't be going to college and must not have properly appealed to my father (when I explained I was submitting to his wishes). BG didn't care one bit and continued to try to convince me I was wrong. I lost all respect for him in that moment, realizing that his teachings on authority/obedience meant nothing to him.
College was a wonderful experience for me, and as I took science classes for the first time ever, I was awed and inspired as I saw the hand of God in ways I never had before. College did not turn my heart away from God - it brought me closer and positioned me to earn 6 figures in a career that I truly love. Of course what BG was really afraid of, is the logic and critical thinking classes which provided the foundation that helped me to begin understanding that my whole frame of reference and world view was twisted and wrong. That helped me move from a works based relationship that revolved around ME and what I wanted, to a faith based, trusted dependency on Jesus that revolves around HIM and what God wants for my life.
It's never too late to take a class, update your resume and pursue your dream job. It took me 11 YEARS of attending community college while working nights and weekends, and later a private university that offered night/online classes to be able to afford school and maintain a career. I'm so proud to have achieved a 4.0 Summa Cum Laude in spite of my late start, and 3 years later, halfway through my Master's degree, got my dream job.
While I regret the decades I've spent trying to undo, relearn and change false thinking from my years exposed to BG teachings. I'm so grateful for RG and all of you - reading the articles has helped me grow a lot more in the past year since I found about about RG, and I check daily for new articles. I'm also grateful that God works all things together for good, when I'm willing to accept HIS purpose and be open to seeing the good that can result from life's difficulties without being afraid that I've done something wrong and that's why life isn't going the way I think it should. My plan is so limiting and it really is exciting to be open to seeing God in crazy new ways that I'd never envisioned on my own!
Your story is so inspiring. Do you mind me asking approximately how old you are? I am contemplating getting my degree, but have a long way to go and it seems overwhelming. Thank you for sharing!
It's doable, inhisgrip!
A year ago I finished a three year degree while being a husband and dad, working full time and going through the process of adopting a kid. I'm now working on starting the writing and illustration career that never got off the ground because I gave it up as a teenager so that I could be oh-so-holy. Bill stole dreams,* but a lot of us are working hard to get them back. I'm 41 years old.
*BG doesn't get all the credit for dream-stealing. The 80s and 90s evangelical world was awash with the idea of giving up the stuff you were good at so that you could really serve God.
Coming to this very late but I wanted to mention that my husband, also with an ATI background, got his associate's in machine tool technology. It was a 2.5 year program and he worked the whole time. The class load was not too demanding for him to do so. (One "semester" was actually in the summer.
It also cost very little. It depends on what you want to do, but I would encourage people from *all* walks to consider trade school of some sort--not just ATI. Sometimes the compensation is quicker and better than that for 4-year degrees. :)
Best wishes!
Go for it, inhisgrip! Do it in chunks with milestones that are achievable. You could start out going for an A.S. then move up from there. You will be surprised at how the miles pass as you jog along.
There are tons of nontraditional students out there. Lots of folks in their 50's are going back to school.
Another thing, you will be surprised at how well you will do. You are motivated. You want this thing. You are an adult that doesn't spend all their time going to parties (just guessing). You will excel, even if your homeschooling was marginal. You know what a schedule means. You will study like crazy for the ACT and rock it. Then you will get a scholarship. You will fill out scholarship paperwork and receive them, because nobody else did that much volunteer work! You will be awesome!
:D You guys are kind. I was not raised ATI, but realize that I have still bought into so many of the lies that were (are) in the Christian "culture" regarding women and their role. I'm having an awakening of sorts and I'm excited to see what God is going to do in/through all of this.
I feel like I've never really dreamed or had an idea of what I would want to do apart from being a mom and wife. Even if I don't get a degree, I feel like God is asking me to explore what my dreams and passions are - the only thing that really jumps out at me is I have a passion for others to know the finished work of Christ and their identity in Christ. I think I would enjoy some kind of counseling as I like transparency and honesty and going deep in conversations.
Maybe my first step is to figure out what credits I do have (I do have a tiny bit of college education) and see what the college would need from me to re-enroll.
Anyway, just processing a little...thanks for the encouragement.
Haha, I just remembered that I used to have notebooks filled with me drawing dresses (designing wedding gowns, etc.). Not sure where that would fit into my life now as I have no interest in becoming a fashion designer!
Thank you! I'm going on 39 this year. I got my bachelor's degree at 34!
Dear inhisgrip,
Do not feel overwhelmed!! Put one foot infront of the other and start the journey. I am 40 and have completed my nursing, my midwifery, self represented myself in family court and lived to tell the tale - this is all after a raw and debilitating journey with Accelerated Christian Education and Institute of Basic Life Principles. It was harrowing - this tale of spiritual abuse - like so many many others - and truly robbed my joy and opportunity. Don Howard and Bill Gothard didn't win though. I did!! And I proved, though I am a woman anddebilitated by homeschooling at one stage, I am talented enough to pursue opportunity, grab it with both hands and succeed. I am now a manager in maternal and child health and fiercly protect the autonomous choice of my mummies and daddies with their precious babies and children and let them know that they should puruse their own gifts and callings which may or may not be differnt from those around them.
Don't let it overwhelm you. Four of 6 of my sibling have pursued careers in teaching, nursing and physiology since being suppressed by Gothard and Howard. 3 of us have graduated and are emplyed and the last will graduated next year. We are all okay despite this and advocate strongly for protection against coercion of the totalitarian Christian leader. Go for it!!! I do hope you do this for yourself wether you're 20 or 90!! One foot in front of the other and you will soon reach the top and testify what it feels like to through those shackles away. GO DO IT!!! xx :) XX
I grew up hearing as a female my education didn't matter. I believed it for years. Now I see what a lie it is. I refuse to live my life in regret, but God has opened my eyes to how He uses and treasure woman! What I find interesting Is the story of Gladys ALward. She was rebellious! For God! Hundreds of orphans lived because of her obedience to God when the missionaries deemed her unfit. However, I remember my parents had a book from BG about her and what a good woman she was. That confused me.
God has brought me through a lot showed and showed me how the Proverbs 31 woman worked. I would dare say educated on some level. She was a business woman and bought and sold land. BG somehow missed that. I always thought God was disappointed in me and was mad at me because I wasn't meek and quiet enough. Turns out He gave me the bubbly personality I have and wants it that way!
I say this, because He made you who you are and gave you talents. Use them and rejoice, where the Spirit of the Lord is there is freedom! Not bondage.
Amen! And don't worry about the typos!
I should have reread my post. I can't go back and edit! SORRY!
I could, and sometimes do, feel bitter at dreams not realized because of BG. At 56, I am starting over with nothing. But I just got my masters in counseling and hope to help others who have been through spiritual abuse and to coach people toward their goals. It's never too late. The only thing I hope BG was right about is that, my career nowadays be less than it should have been, but maybe the glory will be greater for succeeding late and despite the odds. Even if you are 90, spend your last years going for those dreams!
Karen, your comment reminded me of Jesus' parable in Matthew 20:1-16. Perhaps you should read that and then look up and read the Paschal Homily attributed to St. John Chrysostem (read during the Easter Liturgy every year in Eastern Orthodox churches around the world), which is based on it. I believe you will find it very encouraging. This is what God's grace is like.
Thanks, Karen. I read it and was greatly encouraged as I'm 57 and still working on my bachelors to fulfill my calling to teach children.
That's awesome! My grandma was widowed at the age of 50 and went back to school to become an elementary school teacher. She had a great career. All the best with your endeavors!
Go you!!!!!!! I love it when I hear people at any stage breaking the cycle and then giving back!! I am so proud of you Karen and you have made me get tears in your eyes and your bravery and motivaiton.
Congrats Karen, good for you!
Hey, I'm in my 60's and just finished three years at a community college with a 4.0 gpa. It has been very confidence-building and I am able to step into a new career that will pay well for part-time or full-time work. Do keep learning and exploring your dreams, even if they have been squashed under the weight of all these leagalistic so-called "authorities" in the church.
Stolen dreams---- no kidding! The old German put it this way: Kinder, Kuche , kirche---children, kitchen and church. In other words bare feet, pregnant and in the kitchen. More than a stolen dream, for Gothardite women, it's a nightmare.
"for Gothardite women, it's a nightmare" for some it may be a nightmare for others they are so deep into it they are sure it is God's will for them to live this way.
I saw a documentary on North Korea and how those poor people live---in their homes are huge pictures of the fame of their "deal leader" they bow and worship and praise the dear leader every day and no matter where they go, his image is everywhere. (along with those who will report their misdeeds such as not bowing or saying positive things about "dear leader". The journalist asked if these people do all the bowing and praising because they truly love their "dear leader" or because they are afraid of what will happen if they do not? Her answer was "it really does not matter."
I need to proof read---"in their homes are huge pix of the FACE of their "DEAR Leader!" but either way they got a raw deal from the fame of that despot! And I think if we had to live just one day under that regime we would thank God we only have first world problems to deal with!
I once read a "You might be a homeschooler if..." joke, you know, meant to be humorous. It listed things such as: "Your report card is written on a paper napkin." One thing it listed was not humorous, though; that was, "You might be a homeschooler if Bill Gothard's birthday is a school holiday." Yuck. I never even knew when his birthday was.
Been off this site for awhile. Havent really engaged since dear Alfred got banned.
Anyhoo... I like baseball. Know why? Cause after the inning where you strike out, there's another inning with another at bat. After every game you loose, there's another one. You don't have to hit a homerun everytime. Shoot, nobody expects you to get a hit everytime. They expect you to keep stepping up to the plate. :)
What Bill did was tragic. To carry the baseball analogy, he told us if we stood at the plate in a perfect uniform and a perfect stance, pitchers would be falling over themselves to hit our upraised bat so we could get a homerun with no effort. It was supposed to be easy.
But, in the real world, we have to practice. We have to drill. We have to learn the fundamentals.
For those discouraged about how hard life is after ATIA, I would offer the following lessons learned from 20+ years getting over my infatuation with Bill's promise of easy street:
1. Life is hard. Ever heard of starving artists? If you have a dream, jump on it. Life is too short to spend your remaining days asking "what if". However, don't think that b/c its your dream, it will be easy, or that anyone is obligated to help you achieve it. Some may, most will not, and some will stand in your way b/c they can. It's your dream. Go for it.
2. If you're lucky enough to find a running mate who shares your dream, hold on to them and never let go.
3. You get what you earn. Earn it.
4. Success is relative. What did you do with what you had? It really is that simple. One can spend alot of energy thinking about what one doesnt have, or accept the starting point you have and go from there. It's easy to find reasons (with some justification) how others kept you from having the starting point you think you should/could have. Right or wrong, true or false, it doesnt change the fact you are where you are, and the past can not be changed.
5. It gets easier, and harder at the same time. The things you find you can do well come easier, and its easy to settle. The hard part is not settling. Find a new challenge. If you don't find one, life will find one for you.
6. Be a good person. Remember how others (Bill) abused your trust. Never abuse any one else's.
7. Be good. If you want to dig ditches, be the best damn ditch digger there is.
8. Be engaged with people. Really listen to folks. Most people do not. Most people are so wrapped up in themselves they don't have the energy to engage with folks.
9. My favorite: Always remember, nothing happens unless somebody does something. Be the person that does something. Find better ways of doing your thing. If you're doing something, and its not you're thing, let it go, quickly. Find your thing.
10. It does get better. If you are trying to improve your thing everyday and always focused on tomorrow, one day you will look back and realize what all you've done.
In closing: do the thing with the thing. :) Be good at it, and be good to those around you. It sounds formulaic, cause it kinda is I guess, but its a formula with no right answer, just the answer you find for it.
One of the saddest things about all of this is not just the dreams that were stolen, as well as the God-intended joy of being allowed to dream in the first place, but the practical matter of having a career. We know many men who are now working menial, hard labor-- and yes, they are excellent workers, but they are doing difficult, physical jobs to support their families because, as young men, they were not allowed to go on to higher education and gain the knowledge/degree to support their families as well as save for retirement and have good insurance, etc. And the great irony is that the men who trained and dictated their lives and denied them an education WERE COLLEGE GRADUATES!! They had their positions and careers and benefits precisely because they had higher education.
And then there are the women who, as young girls, were told that they needed to serve their fathers so that they would someday be prepared to serve their husbands. No need for an education-- their husbands would provide everything they needed. And then in the course of life, those husbands left them and the children, and these girls, now women in the real world, are left helpless and dependent, without even a GED, to try and work a minimum wage job and figure out child care and learn how to function in a world they never could have imagined before and were completely unprepared for.
I apologize for sounding sarcastic-- this hits close to home, as it has hurt people who we love very much. My husband and I are determined that our daughters will have vocations, so that they can support themselves, and that they will be encouraged to develop themselves to their full potential. And yes, I grew up under BG's teachings. I don't even know what my dreams could have been back then. I am very content being a wife and mother, and I am learning to dream now, for now and for the future--
It is ironic how Gothard prominently displays his higher learning on his website. I don't ever remember him saying how bad it was for him.
The way I see it, gothard's whole operation was nothing more than an easy way to line his pockets using free labor "for the sake of ministry" but mostly for Bill and his buddies to meet and use young girls
The real victims are the young boys. YOU DON'T SEE THEM BECAUSE THEY NEVER AMOUNTED TO ANYTHING. They don't have stories about how they will raise their kids right, or how their dreams have finally been accomplished. You see, when a young boy goes through the " Hard Core 70's Beta Gothard " it's almost impossible to recover.
There needs to be a de-programming curriculum that is just as comprehensive as the original Gothard brainwashing. Young boys need more than just a book on how to improve your marriage, relationship, etc.. Most of these boys that grow up will never be heard of because they fall off of the radar screen. Gothardized men have major trouble being functional on a basic level in adult life. Many can't even get a relationship, or hold a job. So there needs to be a major " Un-Brainwashing " course, or more and more boys will fall into the abyss in adult life.
In response to your multiple pleas for deprogramming, I recommend you LISTEN to the things women are saying here and let your heart soften by putting others ahead of yourself. Once softened, try John and Philippians for some deprogramming in the form of Christ-like humility and Truth. Finally, find a sister who is not bound in the cult, and ask her for an honest evaluation of your personality. A pastor's wife will do, she has nothing to fear.
If the goal is to "get a girl" in an alien world, whether to combat loneliness or to feed lust, deprogramming won't help. If your goal is to become Christ-like, or just to know Him, He is faithful to lead you there.
First step in deprogramming: count all that went before as rubbish. Paul did fine with that approach. Any man can as well, unless he expects someone other than Jesus to "fix" him. But then, as we were taught, "expectations destroy relationships"!
Thanks for writing this. At 35, I have a job, I have had several but struggle with finding "my place" because it all feels so wrong sometimes. Getting past the Proverbs 31 vision that ATIA had for us girls is impossible at times. I cannot honestly take that chapter seriously or even read it to this day and I have been out of ATIA for 15 years. They did so much damage, especially to those of us who were the "good kids" and trying to be more like Jesus which really wasn't being more like Jesus. I have had to relearn what being a Christian is and it took me years to figure out that I don't actually need to be perfect in order to be loved by Christ.
I am and will honestly always remain single because of ATIA. I was corrected so many times for having conversations with guys, and I wasn't even remotely guy crazy. I viewed all guys as my brothers but was not allowed to have a simple conversation with them regarding how are teaching days went without it being viewed a flirting. I am now scared of talking to guys and viewing them other than my brothers and I don't know how much therapy could ever fix that, however, God has blessed me in my singleness with a peace and given me the desire to be the coolest aunt on the face of the planet!!!
To all us dreamers... keep dreaming and keep pursuing your dreams.
You sound like a very brave woman as you rebuild yourself and your life. While Bill may have promoted "Proverbs 31" woman, everything else he taught undermined what Proverbs 31 woman is described as which is a woman that can make her own decisions. What Bill taught was that women and girls need to blindly submit to their husbands and fathers and not have a brain which can be used on their own. Proverbs 31 describes a woman that makes her own decisions and did them on her own. There is nothing in there that describes someone that is submitting blindly to a husband or father. Again, scripture is twisted around here. Being raised under Bill, you have been taught not to think and feel on your own and if you do you are in rebellion and out of your "umbrella of protection". That is probably why you have struggled with jobs, decisions, and relationships. You are on the right path and you should view yourself as on a journey and road to wholeness which takes on step at a time.
It is sad to think that Bill Gothard is against the idea of people going to College. I think that it is hypocritical of him to say so when he himself went to Wheaton College and go his own degree.
Then why does the bible say: Psalms 34:7
Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.
I think that Bill Gothard does not understand that his cookie cutter one plan fits all is short sided black and white approach. I do not see how we are going to have enough doctors, lawyers, engineers, and professionals if no one goes to school. My son went to a trade college and has a government job as IT specialist after getting a two year degree in Computer Science.
I went to Bill Gothard seminar here in Seattle when he used to have them and I still went to College myself and have a government Job of my own. What apparently does not understand is we have to do our part in making a career for ourselves and pay our dues.
3 John 1:2 Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth.
"We don't need no education..." From Pink Floyd's "The Wall."