“You are the cream of the crop. The Marines on the front lines…”
These were words we heard often working for Bill Gothard at the Institute in Basic Life Principles.
Two months ago I made a comment to a friend that while I was sure of my salvation, I felt like I was no longer one of the “chosen.” I doubted that God would ever let me back in His “inner circle.”
I would love to write that I “get it” now, and that I have fully grasped God’s grace. But I can’t…YET. However, I can tell you how I got where I am.
I was raised in the Advanced Training Institute of America program (ATIA or ATI) for 14 years. As a parent now myself, I understand what drew my own parents and so many others to this program. I mean, who doesn’t want God’s best for their children? Who wouldn’t want to keep their child from pain that comes as a result of sin? As a child though, God’s best seemed to come in the form of rules and standards that I thought made me holy. I quickly learned that the way to please God was by my works. I wanted the joy and shining eyes of the other students I saw who grew close to God by their commitments to Him. Sure, my salvation was by faith – but after that the burden of proof lay on me. This led to years of cyclic depression.
In my early 20’s I went to work at IBLP Headquarters (HQ). I quickly became disillusioned by the hypocrisy I saw: students that worked tirelessly were told not to record their overtime hours for pay…students getting sent home because they were overweight…families not accepted into the ATIA program because they were mixed race marriages…pictures doctored in newsletters to make them more in line with the stories being sold to families. I coped by trying to focus solely on the Seminar ministry since that was where I worked. I thought if I kept to that then at least I would be doing good for others since the Seminars were still okay in my mind.
Life moved on and so did I…or at least I tried. I married and had my first child. One day I decided to get out my Basic Seminar textbook. I sat on the floor of my living room and prayed “God, show me the truth.” I honestly was appalled at what I saw: scripture passages twisted and misappropriated with blanket applications for everyone. Slowly I began my journey away from works towards grace.
That was 9 years ago. Over those years God has led me baby step by baby step to where I am now. Those baby steps have included counseling, medicine, more counseling, Bible studies, friends who listen…and God himself picking me up and drawing me close. I had a friend tell me that regardless if something is “right” or “wrong” my feelings were real – he encouraged me to go to God with them. I’ve actually begged God to let me not believe in Him, because somehow that seemed less painful at times. But He won’t let me go.
Today, I am learning that the more honest I am about my doubts, fears, and sin, the more I catch glimpses of what grace really means and how deep it runs. I don’t know that I can remember a time before this that I came to God spiritually naked, not trying to sew together fig leaves of self abasement. I feel more vulnerable than I ever have. In fact, it’s a daily choice to not revert back to the old life of works. I’m tempted sometimes to forgo this journey to healing because it contains pain. But then, I catch glimpses of the old me – repressed for years by legalistic works and by what others thought I should be – and I cling to hope that He is not finished with me yet.
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Cyndi spent ages 9-23 in ATI. The highlight of this time was her time spent in Russia living on the Moscow River. She is currently a single, working mother to three amazing children. She worked in Chicago at the ATI Headquarters and also spent time in Indy, Children's Institutes and various counseling seminars.
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Yes, a big part of the "you are the few, the (humbly) proud, the best of the best" was that it was always conditioned, naturally, on ones compliance to Mr.G's standards.
That constant inspection of oneself and one another for slipping standards could do nothing else but what it actually did: lead thousands of young people into hypocrisy and legalism.
We are God's children, adopted into His family not by our own merit, and no other "best of the best" need be our motto.
Thanks for sharing, Cyndi.
"That constant inspection of oneself and one another for slipping standards....."
Is this not also just a form of self pride and works? And yet we thought it was pleasing God and gaining us favor with Him. So sad. The story of the woman caught in adultery and Jesus' words, whoever has no sin cast the first stone...it has a whole new meaning to me! We were raised to be stone throwers. Oh how I love the freedom grace brings lay down those heavy stones!
GREAT article! You did a beautiful job of articulating the journey many of us who raised in ATI/worked for IBLP experienced (and continue to experience). Thanks for your vulnerability in sharing it and for the reminder that "He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus" (Phil. 1:6)
The spiritual journey that you speak of, post ATI/IBLP is exactly where I find myself today. I'm only just beginning, but already I feel that a burden is being lifted from me and that I am being comforted by Him. So many years of being bound by the legalism and the lies. This is a great article, thank you. :)
Amazingly enough, I find myself one of those guys who was "hoodwinked" into this idealism that actually believed that if you take these ten steps you will be successful. I was a pastor's kid, grew up in the church, lived my life according to Bill Gothard and his view of the Bible. My parents separated, my brother is on his second marriage, my sister is on her second marriage, my other sister did drugs and, yes, I joined the Corps! Now, I have been in for 15 years and here I am. In great turmoil with my family over broken down relationships. It is a mess and it pains me every day. I have seen the casualties of war and been in combat. I have felt the pains of bleeding and sweating in the fight for life and freedom. None of this even compares to the pains and destruction of following one man so blindly. Thanks!
so sorry. =(
Thank you so much for your writings! Please dont stop. I thought I was alone in how I felt about the IBLP and so on. I too was raised as you were. If I do share with my friends the experiences and beliefs systems my family once taught, I feel like a freak show! Others look at me with a glare of astonishment!I dont want to be looked at like I just grew a tree out of my head or something! I just want someone who understands! Although you and I have never met, I can feel your pain. It helps me to be able to read your articles and know that I am not alone in all this mess of confusion. Please know that you are helping others as you post your thoughts. Thank you
Elizabeth Anne - you are NOT alone! There are hundreds, if not thousands of us, who find ourselves discovering true grace is not found in working our way into favor with God. While my heart is often overwhelmed with pain, not just for myself, but for all of us, I have never had more hope that God is our Redeemer. I don't yet understand how that will all translate in my life... it's a minute by minute trust.
This is so true! Mr. Gothard knew how to make us feel important. I really did think that I was better than most other people. But at the same time, I was very susceptible to self-loathing because I could never, ever measure up to the standard that was held up to us. It was definitely not an emotionally healthy situation for me.
Thank you again for this blog. As people watch the Duggars on TLC they get the idea this is just a nice homeschool group. Thank you for helping spread the word about the lies and legalism this group sells. Doctoring photos?? Wow! No mixed-race marriages? Wow!!!!
And, Bill? the ALERT cadets are NOT the USMC and never will be.
YES!!! I found myself nodding and agreeing with every paragraph. This sounds SO similar to my story. The spiritual pride and elitism that went along with being told I was part of the "cream of the crop" on a regular basis was crippling. Thank God that He cares enough to take the time to explain true grace to us, one day at a time.
My guiding principle as a teenager was, "Is this something an ATI student should do?" (The answer was usually No.) It was a high compliment when someone could tell I "was ATI." But that awareness also meant we couldn't reach out for help when we needed it, because others were supposed to look to US.
-- SaraJ
So true, SaraJ!!! Being "good ATI" was a big step better than being "good Christian."
And the only ones we could go to for help were peers or authorities. No outsiders (Oh the horror! We would get corrupted!).
Hang in there Cyndi! (((HUGS))) I can tell you from personal experience, that the healing is worth it. It is very painful at times. I have been on the medication route, and the counselor route. I was on a pretty high dosage of medication. I am completely off as of right now.
I would never hesitate to go back on it, if I needed it though. But my healing is real, and lasting. It does take a lot of "dirty" work to move through the feelings that you used to not allow yourself to feel.
I have been doing swimmingly well this past year personally. Well, a new "layer" of what legalism did to me, has opened up a few days ago. Now, I have to move through that growing pain...but I have hope this time instead of discouragment.
Thank you for your words of encouragement. I'm so glad to hear that you have walked this journey before me. I can completely relate to finding a new "layer". I feel that has been me for the past 12 years. This most recent layer has been the most painful by far...but the most humbling and grace receiving time in my life.
Dear former ATI brothers and sisters in Christ,
My heart aches for each and everyone one of you - you pain is tangible in your writing and I extend my prayers and grace towards you in your healing. I have to admit, I am surprised a bit by this website to a small degree, but overall, not hugely surprised because we are living in days like never before in which the enemy is lashing out to steal, kill and destroy God's children. Obviously, you all grew up in families where Gothard was lifted up too high. I wonder if many of you had abusive fathers and maybe mothers who were all law and minimal grace, yet themselves not living up to the standard they had placed upon you which is the very thing for which Christ condemned the Pharisees. I am an older mom and though and although Gothard was never a huge influence of my life, as a parent, even without Gothard, I have fallen to great sin and hypocrisy with my own children in which I have had to do much repenting and asking their forgiveness for my hypocrisy. They now would report to you that God has changed me and our family for the most part is healthy with much love, good relationships, etc - not perfect by any means because I can still blow it big-time on any given day, but healthy. Would you all say it is truly Gothard who has placed this heavy yoke of works and law instead of grace, or is it more your home life and upbringing in which your parents were actually the greatest abusers and offenders of love and grace? Gothard may attract in general the type of Christians (are they really Christians?) who use and misinterpret the Word of God for their own selfish needs for being in control and having the upper hand of authority at the expense of their own children and families. I am not sure you can blame all of this on Gothard, but I confess that I know very little of these things since I have only been a fringe Gothard seminar attender. My husband went every year as a teen and he is very grace oriented and gentle spirited in regard to others, his children and his views of God, the Word, and church. As a married couple with three children and one about to graduate from college, we have attended Basic once a year as often as possible. The material has helped me to forgive, let loose of bitterness, repent, view others as higher than myself, and it has helped my marriage because I have learned how important it is to honor and build up my husband. I come from a background with a mom who would not submit to my dad, she had severe anger issues and bitterness and ended up mentally ill for all of my adult life. I feel like many of Gothard's teaching have helped me to not go the way of my mom and that I have been spared mental illness. I heard of Gothard through marriage to my husband. For me, I was a rebel wife who truly needed to be taught to submit and I have found it a very freeing and a joyful thing in these last few years to submit because God has brought many blessings in which I am free more than ever. I hate to have "the baby thrown out with the bath water" in regard to the seminars. The Scriptural principles have really helped me. Do you all really dislike Gothard himself or is it more those who work for him? Or is it that you mostly had messed up parents who did not live out the grace of God in your home? Glad to find you all and read your posts. I love to pray for the wounded and Isa 58 is a great passage that comes to mind and God has used it much in my life. I will pray for you all - that you the captives are set free from woundedness and that every yoke is broken. I will pray for you to live in the joyful freedom of the love of Christ because there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ. I pray that you all do not become embittered against Gothard or anyone else for truly I know the effects of bitterness - it does lead to mental illness as I had to live that out with my mom and that is not what God intends for any of His beloved children.
With gratefulness and sincerity of compassion,
Janet
To answer your question, I would say it was extreme teachings, pushed further by an extreme, charismatic personality (Gothard), received as a God-send by parents prone to extremes. None are excused of responsibility in the matter. I can say that my parents have recognized their errors and have received grace; I can't say the same for Mr. Gothard. I would say that in my case, his teachings actually caused mental illness. I was so controlled through his teaching of authority, my parents monitored my every move up until I was 26 or 27 years of age. I was in a severe depression at this time due to the oppression I was experiencing. I would say Gothard looks good initially, but gets more and more unrealistic and dangerous, the more involved you get. I am a spiritual abuse survivor, which abuse can clearly be trac
(Cont) which abuse, can clearly be traced to Gothard's teachings.
You raise an excellent question, Janet. My family was not exceptionally legalistic, even when we were enrolled in ATI. I put these high expectations on myself and became legalistic as a result of my experiences working on IBLP staff because (looking back) I assumed that these commitments were necessary to obtain God's best (which is what we were taught). I do remember my parents looking at me rather strangely and then commanding me to "put on a pair of shorts" one hot summer day in Southern California shortly after I returned from one of my IBLP tours of duty. Evidently they didn't think my "commitment to modest dress" was as important as i did.
Janet, I, too, used to think that the abusive situations only happened in the lives of those who "took the principles too far." I thought it was the families that were already out of balance when they joined ATI that had the real problems. I thought the staff members who were harsh were just normally that way.
Unfortunately, when I got close enough to the heart of the organization to see how Gothard really works, what I found was not pleasant. He does not follow his own principles. He is not under any authority whatsoever (he claims he is under the board, yet they do not have the option of firing him). His focus is on outward appearance and looking good to those he wants to impress, rather than on a person's heart and real needs. If you keep reading here, you will see these things explained in story after story after story.
I, too, was hoping that the real problem was the excesses of others. I'm afraid that, while each person and family certainly has their own responsibility to bear, Gothard's teaching and expectations are very out of line with the Scripture and have caused a lot of abuse.
Thank you for your comments Janet. I believe that in my family it was a combination of my parents having recently re-dedicating their lives to Christ, so they were drawn to a higher living lifestyle, and Bill Gothard's use of rhetoric and emotional manipulation that drew our family in, and kept us for over 6 years. I think that it's also an important point that we can't blame Gothard completely for what happened, any more than you can blame Hitler for the entire holocaust. Others were involved, and Hitler used the German's strong sense of national pride, shame of the first world war loss, and European resentment of the Jews to further his master race heresy. None of us are perfect, but the more we try to protect an imperfect man that had a devastating impact on the lives of so many, then we cannot move beyond the lies to embrace the grace of God. I would encourage you to base your assessment of Gothard only on the infallible word of God, and not on your perceptions of bitterness and malevolence toward Gothard. It took me going through years of rebellion and a deeply sinful lifestyle (reaching the bottom as it were), till I was ready to let go of the pain in my life and let God lead me forward in my life. My pastor is a former ATI family coordinator, who lived the IBLP lifestyle and who my God's grace has moved past it and become a theologian well rooted in the word of God, and has to my knowledge never tried to manipulate or twist it to meet his own purposes. He has helped me to move on also. I would suggest that you consult your pastor so that he can guide you further in this matter.
Janet, I appreciate your questions, and they are certainly something that we should consider.
I was not raised in ATI. My parents went to IBLP seminars beginning in the early 1970s, and they did follow a lot of Mr. Gothard's teachings. But I would say that, in general, our home life was one of joy, freedom, and encouragement. Sure, Mom and Dad made some mistakes (they ARE only human, after all), but I knew that I was loved, valued, and cared for.
I went to IBLP seminars myself from the age of 12 or 13. I wanted to follow God. I wanted to to what was right. I was excited when my parents approached us kids with the idea of joining ATI. I was about 22. My brothers were 18 and 11, I think. I thought that ATI would help me deepen my relationship with God.
I was SO very wrong. As a result of the teachings of ATI and the incredible backbiting and talebearing that I experienced at ATI training centers, I very nearly lost God completely. I became terrified of Him, to the point that I would not pray and avoided reading the Bible. Every time I tried, I felt a weight of hopeless condemnation and feelings of complete inadequacy.
It was not until I left IBLP and began to struggle through an abusive marriage that I was brave enough to face God again. And it has been a long, LONG fifteen-year journey to get to where I am today. Too long. And it's not over yet. There are still time when I cannot trust God. Still times when I am afraid of Him. It's very sad.
But all that to answer your question of whether we just had "messed-up parents" who took things too far. Mine did NOT. I drank far more deeply of the navy Kool-aid than they did. Some of that is my fault, for not searching and testing more. But MUCH of it is Mr. Gothard's fault, and the fault of those whom he placed in leadership positions. THEY took things too far. And they hurt MANY people --- some far, far worse than they hurt me.
Hi Janet,
Thanks so much for the graciousness in which you wrote your questions and concerns. It's a breath of fresh air to have someone who is genuinely wanting to understand, and not simply seeking to condemn those who are hurting for the fact that they have been hurt. It sounds as if the Institute has genuinely helped you in your marriage, and it's wonderful to hear that.
To answer to some of your questions:
I was raised in a very loving, Christian home by parents who were also helped by the Seminars back in the 1970's. My parents were not abusive of me or my siblings, and they were not extreme. They loved us very much and they wanted to raise us to love the Lord. They attended the seminars every year (Basic & Advanced) and we also joined the homeschool program (ATI) in 1989. I embraced everything I was taught whole-heartedly, and I eagerly sought opportunities to serve with the Institute when I became old enough. I attended numerous programs and worked at two Training Centers (Moscow & Indianapolis).
From my experience of being raised in the program, there are various levels to the teachings within the Institute. For most people who only attend a Basic Seminar, it's very possible that you can walk away with only positive experiences. But the deeper you get into the program (attending Advanced Seminars, and then enrolling in ATI and all their programs) the more problems begin to surface. And many trusting parents sent their children to Training Centers, having no idea what extreme teachings their children would receive. Many students were specifically told not to tell their parents anything negative in phone calls home. Staff members were posted by the phones during phone calls home, even for adult students over the age of 18.
In the deeper parts of the program, what started out as seemingly harmless "Basic Principles" soon become a list of crazy rules that were enforced in the name of "Scripture." For instance...
--Girls at the Indy Training Center were told what type of underwear they could or could not wear.
--Married women were told at one conference that they should not wear lingerie for their husbands. And if their husbands' lusted, it was probably their fault.
--Girls who worked at HQ were routinely warned or sent home if they gained weight.
--Once a week fasting was enforced (not optional) at the Training Centers. Food would be withheld from students, they were not allowed to drive out to get food on Sundays, and they were told not to eat in their rooms. All this was done in the name of building "Spiritual disciplines." (In my personal opinion, it's only a discipline if it's a choice.)
Most people who just attend a Basic Seminar do not get to see where the road eventually leads.
So was it just a misapplication of the program that caused the flaw? When Jesus condemned the Pharisees, it was not because they had misapplied the law, or had misunderstood the law. It was because their entire foundation of using the law to progress in their spiritual life was a flawed foundation. We are not saved by the law--but by relationship with Jesus Christ. In the same way, we are not sanctified by the law, but through the person of Jesus Christ. And as we read His Word and walk with Him daily, we learn to listen to and obey the promptings of His Holy Spirit. THAT should be our focus, not following "Basic Principles." (Gal 4:9; 5:16-18) Jesus summed it up well when he said that all the law and the prophets hang on these two commands: Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and love your neighbor as yourself. (Matt 22:37-39)
Although I know some are (and have every right to be), I am not personally angry or bitter. I have discovered the amazing grace of Jesus Christ and am walking in joyous freedom with Him!
And please know that many of us, myself included, do not hate Mr. Gothard. In fact, many of the writers on this site (myself included) knew him personally while in the program and could say a lot of nice things about him personally. But I am extremely concerned by his denial of the Biblical definition of grace, and believe that he has begun teaching a different gospel, which is not the true gospel at all. (See my RG article, "When the Gospel Becomes No Gospel At All")
The very foundation of Bill Gothard's ministry is flawed, thus there are many, many people who have been hurt by this program. Some have been helped, yes, but most of those people have only stayed on the fringes and have not experienced the lack of grace and spiritual abuse that often comes as you get deeper into the program.
Once again, I'm grateful that you did not experience this abuse, but were helped by the program. There are so many more people who were hurt though, and it pains me to think of how many ATI parents carry the burden of believing that they are failures because the program didn't work for their family. In many cases, that is simply not true. They are not failures--the program failed them. But we believe that healing will come by God's grace as we seek to rebuild from these flawed foundations.
Blessings,
Bev
I can remember hearing the "You are the Marines" line on the eve of a trip to Russia. I remember the superior attitude that gave me with regard to the "rank and file" believers. In retrospect, it's silly. If I was "the Marines", what were they, the Coast Guard? Boy Scouts?
At the same time, I can recall the heavy weight of responsibility that went along with my summary induction into "the few, the humble". How could I be a Marine if the rottenness in my heart was still there? This of course led to further efforts to hide what was there, so I would measure up to the rest of the "corps". Of course, it would have done me a world of good to know that most--if not all--of my fellow Marines were going through the same thing.
THAT would have gone a long way towards resolving a good number of my Basic Youth Conflicts (tm).
@ Janet:
I think Beverly said everything that needs to be said. Still, let me add that I was raised in a loving family, in a healthy church, without the deadly influence of legalism.
I bought into it on my own, as I was exposed to Gothard's teachings. As did many other young people who only wanted "God's best."
Living in a training center really brings out the errors and absurdity of a man-centered, grace-deficient system of relating to God and one another.
Thanks for reading, and please don't be too quick to discount what you read. The only desire here is to help others move past Gothard, even if that means exposing him as preaching a false Christ, a false Christianity, and coming to know a God of grace.
@ Janet, my family wasn't extreme and didn't even follow GOthard's teachings on the Old Law. But we followed most of the other teachings. We never "held him too high". We didn't have to. The teachings themselves are flawed and teach a performance-based salvation. They have taken the pure gospel of Christ and added works. Following them lead to dysfunction, wrong ideas about who God is, and many other problems. If the root is rotten, the fruit will be rotten. This is what we on Recovering Grace are trying to say.
To add to what Darcy said, in my opinion, the 'root problem' is this:
For someone who has 'taught the Word' constantly for 40 years, Mr. Gothard really displays a great disregard for the Bible. What I mean is, he doesn't expound the plain teaching of the New Testament for believers, as much as teach life experience and his own opinions, usually tacking on a verse or two to make it 'biblical teaching.'
In other words, he's not into exegesis nearly as much as eisegesis. He's into himself more than the Word, in a big way. Not to assume that everyone speaks theologese and hermeneutical....
"Eisegesis (from Greek εἰς "into" and ending from exegesis from ἐξηγεῖσθαι "to lead out") is the process of misinterpreting a text in such a way that it introduces one's own ideas, reading into the text. This is best understood when contrasted with exegesis. While exegesis draws out the meaning from the text, eisegesis occurs when a reader reads his/her interpretation into the text. As a result, exegesis tends to be objective when employed effectively while eisegesis is regarded as highly subjective."
Reading one's opinions/experience into any given Bible text leads to problems, and those problems become quite serious when the person doing so claims to speak for God and influences thousands of families.
Will, You are spot on. I have been trying to put my finger on what has bothered me so much about Gothard's scriptural interpretation & application. You nailed it: the problem is eisegesis. What Mr. Gothard has come to believe based on experience, he seeks to prove by misapplying Scripture. After all, he is not trained in Greek and Hebrew or in Biblical doctrine. He is doing more harm than good by peddling a psuedo-christianity where his principles & flawed interpretations become the key to living a victorious Christian life. Such a tragedy!
A friend sent a link to your website to me and I am just making my way through the articles. Being on the other side of ATI now I can see some positives and negatives. As a widow with a young daughter to raise alone, the safety and protective nature of the program, was a real attraction for me. We were part of a homschoing church where many of the members were involved in ATI, some more so than others. Most if not all the church leaders were in the program. We often had speakers from the Institute come and speak, etc. All this to say, our exposure was pretty high.
A few positives..... We attended the seminars and my daughter worked the Children's Institute. I do believe those CI's were good experiences for her and the children. She loved doing those! We did go to a Counseling Seminar at Indy once, with another friend and her daughter. I loved being able to have a group of young ladies that I could have devotions with. We went to a widow's retreat once in the Northwoods and that was an encouraging time for us both. It brought so many together who were sharing the same life struggles. Being in that setting with so many others who understood was refreshing and created an instant bond.
Knoxville was an opportunity to see friends, and much of that I look on with fondness. I loved the choir! Thank you to all who participated in that! You were a blessing!
Now here's some of the negatives from that time in our lives...ATI does encourage a life of legalistic living, which is so contrary to the teachings of Christ. It encourages a prideful and judgmental, lifestyle...especially toward brothers and disused in Christ. It encourages one to focus on outward appearance, and to want to become like the holy appearing ones rather than becoming Christlike. It encourages one to set up a system of rules in order to be accepted by others and by God. It encourages one to give up individuality in appearance and personality. It encourages unhealthy male/female relationships. And I could on and on. One other thing it encourages is stomach problems, low self worth, and other physical and emotional problems.
And one last thought. It has been mentioned that perhaps the problems within the program might stem from the deep personal problems of the families involved. My answer would be that you might imagine a ministry that is truly giving out the truth of a Christlike life would be bringing healing anf freedom into their lives, and not more bondage and harm. I hurt for friends who are walking this path of constant guilt and fear.
Others have said everything I could say (and probably better) about whether those of us attracted to this site are from extreme or abusive backgrounds. I wasn't. In fact, the initial teachings my parents got were very beneficial. They gave my stepfather the courage to take responsibility in the household, relieving my mom of a lot of stress. Plus, he "made things right" with his ex-wife, which certainly improved his son's (my stepbrother's) life. But the deeper we got in, the more we struggled. By the end, ATI ended up aggravating our problems rather than offering any resolution.
That aside, I keep wondering why the people who dismiss us as "bitter" don't stop to think about the fact that there are a LOT of "bitter" kids coming out of ATI. And we all have the same complaints! Shouldn't that be a red flag that there's something wrong?
-- SaraJ
I recently had a friend and her children, who were passing through, spend a night in my home. We have been friends for years, mostly through ATI. She has two adult daughters still at home, along with two other teens. They are still heavily involved in the program. They attended church with me the next Sun morning. Our pastor preached a Spirit filled sermon full of truth, mercy, and grace. The mother could not sit still and listen because of being exposed to an orchestra that included drums and a guitar. I'd say it's only mildly contemporary, but doesn't fit in with Institute standards. It's the fear and guilt again, and I just hate that my friend and her children live that life. I would love to see them escape and experience the freedom of lving in grace. But I notice that she has begun to distance herself from me since I'm no longer a part of ATI. So sad. :(
Annie, I feel for your friend and would not want to be rude to her. But I just can't help but notice the double standard when it comes to "throwing the baby out with the bathwater." When people defend Mr. Gothard, any amount of error or bad results are quickly excused by how much good he has supposedly done (ignoring evidence to the contrary). But when the shoe is on the other foot, any little thing that does not fit IBLP's incredibly tight mold causes, in this case, an entire sermon from God's Word to be completely ignored. It makes no difference to the person how godly or correct the sermon might be - they simply refuse to engage it. Oops, there goes the baby!
I don't mean to mock. It's just that the double standard can be so hypocritical and so frustrating.
Good words, Cyndi. Thank you so much for this. Also, I love those quotes from Jerry Bridges. Right on.
I found that even reformed people subscribe to the "chosen few" and can be so unloving. I have a family member that said she was working for a disabled man "only because he was a believer" to which I thought but didn't say "so we only love the believing? how will the unbeliever ever come to Christ? HELLO?!"
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I admire your courage and journey and am so thankful for the grace of God! Good is the greatest evil and most difficult deception to overcome. There were two trees in the garden, the tree of knowledge of GOOD and evil and then there was the tree of life. Keep moving with that which is life!
As young parents we were in a church that was heavily involved in ATI I used the Character Sketches for home-schooling material. Fortunately, the Spirit of the Lord opened our eyes early on and we left this church. The final straw was when my husband could not measure up.."he did not have suit so he was not allowed to take offering on Wed. night". It is not that we left in offense but we left risking that this was not God. When we left we were warned by a deacon that we were "leaving the land and the umbrella of God's protection". Within months we were involved in a head-on collision that just about killed us. I believe that the neg. power of those words were a curse over us but I never doubted that we did the right thing. At first it was risky and unclear then after we got away it all became clear.
Keep moving into the life of grace and power. The American church has a long way to go.