Judging 101

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Judging 101

Judging 101

16 September 2011, 06:00

I sat in the middle seat of the wood-grained station wagon, peering over the blue leather seats ahead of me, trying to get the best view I could out of the front windshield. I was on mission with my family to complete an ATI homeschool assignment for that day:

“As a family, drive to a busy supermarket. Park near the entrance so that you can observe from your car those who enter and leave the store. Try to be as inconspicuous as possible. Write down all you can for each of the following points. Use the vocabulary words throughout your report.” [1]

All around the parking lot, people were walking into the store. As my family sat in our car and watched the automatic doors of the shop open and close, with possible prospects appearing, I felt like everyone surely must be watching me as I sat in the car, wondering why I didn’t exit the vehicle. My eight-year-old mind tried to wrap itself around the given task and complete it in as short a time as possible.

But what was I trying to distinguish from these people marching to and fro?

Things that are obvious and without question.
Relationships and conditions that are obvious from the initial observations.
Inward attitudes that are reflected from outward evidences.
Basic needs that are obvious from the observations, distinctions and perceptions.

I glanced back at one of the examples printed on my assignment paper:

EXAMPLE:

“I discern that the young woman walking toward the store has the attire of an immoral woman and needs to gain moral freedom. I also discern from the hardness of her facial features that she needs to overcome bitterness toward those who have wronged her.”

“What’s immoral?” I wondered, “And what does ‘hardness of facial features’ mean?” My little brain shifted into overdrive as an inner battle began to tear at my thoughts. “What’s wrong with that lady? Why do I have to find something bad?” My normally cheerful demeanor was darkened by the burden of having to pick out defects in others.

But then a woman was pointed out, and I stuffed my mixed emotions deep inside and began scribbling onto my paper some of the words that my Wisdom Booklet had taught me to say: bitterness, anger, strongholds, lack of authority, root cause, spirit of rebellion, eye traps in her immodest gym shorts…

Does this sound strange to anyone but me? Is anyone else asking “What in the world were those people thinking?” or maybe “Who has that much time?” Or maybe you’re wondering why someone would attempt to teach children to be so critical? I wonder these things too.

Now I read Psalm 139 and try to put a once-skewed subject into proper context. Instead of trying to discern others’ attitudes and behaviors, I recognize that only God knows their thoughts and their ways. And I remember that only He knows mine as well.

“God, You have searched me, and You know me. You know my true thoughts. You are familiar with all of my ways. Before a thought is in my mind, You’ve already known it. You lay Your hand on me and guide me through those who criticize and judge me based on my appearance…. You created my inmost being. I am fearfully and wonderfully made–the way that I think, my personality, my outward appearance, my quirks–You know all of these things… and You made me anyway. So search me, God, know my thoughts, see if there is any anxious thought in me, and lead me in the right way always.”[2]

How do those thoughts line up with Bill Gothard’s assignment? How are the words written by David, inspired by God, to be compared to the task Mr. Gothard wrote?

As an adult, I sometimes revisit that day when I walk across a parking lot. I chuckle thinking about me trying to get the best view out of the windshield while staying buckled into my seat belt. But then I feel a twinge of sadness and I hope that there is not a little girl inspecting me, prying the flaws out of my appearance, and teaching herself to fabricate such perceptions about her own little body, little life, little mind.

I hope, instead, that she is learning to do what I didn’t learn early enough:

“Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things… And the God of peace will be with you.”[3]

The blue leather seats, Wisdom Booklets, and discernment projects are all things of my past, but it’s important that I align those memories with what I know now to be true: God’s grace is sufficient and it applies to me even on the days when I might have ‘hard facial features’ because of life’s curve balls. This learning about God is an ever-evolving process, and it’s an every day journey toward Recovering Grace.

[1] All content from this assignment quoted from Wisdom Booklet 1, Advanced Training Institute International, Institute in Basic Life Principles

[2] Psalm 139, paraphrased, Today’s New International Version (TNIV)

[3] Philippians 4:8-9, Today’s New International Version (TNIV)

All articles on this site reflect the views of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the views of other Recovering Grace contributors or the leadership of the site. Students who have survived Gothardism tend to end up at a wide variety of places on the spiritual and theological spectrum, thus the diversity of opinions expressed on this website reflects that. For our official statement of beliefs, click here.

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31 Comments

E. Stephen Burnett September 16, 2011 Reply

At first I had some difficult determining which parts of the assignment were from the actual ATI curriculum, and which parts were the author's own thoughts. But it sounds like, yes, the curriculum advocated a view of "discernment" based only on appearance, that is entirely subjective and mystical, and not Biblical.

Somehow I'd thought this sort of thinking got about simply by accident. It never occurred to me to believe someone would actually teach others to do this, in writing.

This may not be the height of sad arrogance, but it's close. :-(
- RachelG September 16, 2011 Reply
  
  I specifically remember this assignment being in the Wisdom Books! Things like this were actually taught by the curriculum, not just dreamed up by parents. Astonishing? Yes.
- MatthewS September 16, 2011 Reply
  
  IIRC, the assignment (in writing) then extends to looking around during the next church service and "discerning" the heart attitudes of the people around.
  
  My dad actually got upset at that one. He said, "well if everyone is looking around at everyone else, who is going to pay attention to the sermon?"
- "Hannah" September 16, 2011 Reply
  
  Yes, I remember this assignment. It was real, the author has repeated it dead on without embellishment.
RachelG September 16, 2011 Reply

Unfortunately, I can identify with this attitude that was so prevalent in ATI and families. While I tried as I went into adulthood to distance myself from these thoughts, I found the constant battle was there to assess others and their failures. This changed one summer when God decided to let me eat every judgmental morsel that I had dished to others. Amazing what walking a few miles in another's shoes will do to perspective. The most unexpected thing occurred to me during this time, I began to grasp forgiveness - and through that forgiveness, grace! THANK YOU for sharing!
Eric September 16, 2011 Reply

The depth of the falsity of this false doctrine still manages to surprise me.

"The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." -- 1 Samuel 16:7

Maybe she has "hardness of facial features" because she's sad for self-righteous people who judge her for exercising her freedom in Christ to wear clothes that are totally acceptable in her culture. I would, if it was me...
Wendy Blake September 16, 2011 Reply

When we did this assignment we got ice cream!!! LOL
I think it was good because I have a hard time remembering anyone who was critic-ed but I do remember nodding to things my mom pointed out.
But it is so true that the whole purpose of this assignment is to teach children to be judgmental and the indirect purpose is to teach children to not want to be judged and so to stay in the whole conformist mindset.
- MatthewS September 16, 2011 Reply
  
  "...teach children to not want to be judged and so to stay in the whole conformist mindset."
  
  Well said. That is a powerful control mechanism and it was used to great effect.
- Denise H September 20, 2011 Reply
  
  Wendy, you make me laugh. Kids will do anything for ice cream!
  
  I also remember when this asignment came up for my children. We didn't do it. I tryed it but felt like I didn't have that kind of discernment...imagine that.I think my girls failed Wisdon Book classes.
Jonathan Trebilco September 16, 2011 Reply

Ha ha ha! I remember doing this very assignment with my family. Good grief! I was also thinking "Hope no one does this to us!"
Elizabeth Cook September 16, 2011 Reply

I remember this assignment too. Not sure if we actually did it as a family, but the concept sure sunk in. :( It is taking a lot of time to weed out that judgmental spirit!
Sarah September 16, 2011 Reply

It's interesting that this was actually ATI curriculum. My experience with IBLP/ATI was predominantly the four years I worked within the ministry, so I didn't get in on much of the home-education materials. BUT, upon arriving at the IBLP HQ, as a brand new believer, I was taught to have this mindset that Donna describes above. I was definitely mentored in Judging 101.

That said. . . this same mindset was also taught/lived out/expected of me within an independent baptist church, and then later a plymouth brethren church. I was conditioned to have the mindset of "what is outward reflects inward, and what is outward should look like X, otherwise it is bad." For example:

-women who wore pants to church were not saved
-families who chose not to homeschool were not conservative in their values
-attend church 3x a week, and all other church-related functions or you must not be walking closely with God
-drive a vehicle of a modest monetary value or you are not godly
-sports related activities considered worldly and sinful waste of time
-wearing pants/appropriate workout wear/swimwear for women = sin & immodest

This is just a tiny sampler of mindsets that were taught to me as a new & impressionable believer. But I want to point out that it wasn't just ATI. It was "the church". Only within the past several years have I come to realize that being a Christ-follower is something MUCH different than what was laid out to me by these early Christian influences. It's like I'm having to reprogram/rewire my faith outlook. I'm learning that being a Christ follower is something very personal between myself & God, and it's a process and experience that I will journey through for the rest of my life.

Thanks for writing this article, Donna.
donnam September 16, 2011 Reply

I will never forget when our family went to the mall and completed this project. Embarassing, yes. I was 13 and figured that as we were judging everyone else, they were probably judging, "Why aren't those kids in school!?" lol.
But seriously, this project is one of the ones that stands out in my mind as most horrible. -next to the one(s) where we were instructed to "fool-type" your church members/leaders, and family members including grandparents. (5 types of fools) Way to encourage respect for God's people and your elders, Mr. Gothard!
donnam September 16, 2011 Reply

Brandon Heath sings this super precious song called "Give Me Your Eyes"(see below). And EVERY TIME I hear it, I think back to that first wisdom booklet project. Why weren't we taught this spirit of compassion? Why did the focus have to be such an "us versus them" mentality? I don't want my kids to adopt that attitude. Children are judgemental enough without the extra encouragement!!!

"...All those people going somewhere
Why have I never cared?
Give me Your eyes for just one second
Give me Your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me Your love for humanity
Give me Your arms for the broken hearted
The ones that are far beyond my reach?
Give me Your heart for the one's forgotten
Give me Your eyes so I can see
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Step out on a busy street
See a girl and our eyes meet
Does her best to smile at me
To hide what?s underneath
There?s a man just to her right
Black suit and a bright red tie
Too ashamed to tell his wife
He's out of work, he's buying time
All those people going somewhere
Why have I never cared?
Give me Your eyes for just one second
Give me Your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me Your love for humanity..."
Jerusha September 16, 2011 Reply

Oh, my, yes. September, 1987 at Tom's Food Market in Acme, MI. A parking lot we frequented regularly. So this memorable assignment was relived at least once a week for years and years. I was almost 12 years old and could.not.believe. what we were doing. We went along with the project, amid much laughter and competition as to who could make up the "best" (worst) story about our neighbors.
"I 'notice' that that man..."
"I 'ascertain' that that woman..."
"Well, I 'perceive' that..."

It was a great first lesson in how to twist vocabulary to develop a whole new meaning. Wow. If only we'd had minds as critical as our souls!
Erin September 17, 2011 Reply

I have a similar sinful habit: When I see women in long blue denim jumpers, frizzy hair, and dour expressions, I instantly think that they must be really unhappy people under the thumb of Bill Gothard and his teachings. *sigh* I have to remind myself that denim jumpers are not a symbol of evil. Heh. Wonder what they'd think of me. I'm a Christian goth (no "ard") chick and habitually dress in black neo-victorian or punk garb and wear funky boots. But as much as I complain about it, I too can be terribly judgemental. God will just have to keep working on me, I guess. But yeah, I lost a lot of gothard "friends" because of the way I began to dress as a tween. Never mind that I could've really used some friends at that point in my life, but I think that maybe God was shielding me. Possibly them, too. ;P Admittedly though, I had kind of wretched taste. I look much lovlier now, albeit still gothic. But hey, I love it and it makes me happy. It makes me really sad that people live in fear because of what others will think of them, based entirely on the way they look. God made us to be our own beautiful selves!
M September 18, 2011 Reply

Although I don't remember doing this particular assignment, I have had to struggle to rid myself of the extreme judgmental heart that ATI/IBLP deeply ingrained in me. I have noticed that I'm slowly learning that actually looking in a persons' eyes and smiling at them and seeing them as loved by God has caused me to stop looking at people's appearance and judging them. It's sad to think that it was possible for me to dress and look the right way and yet have a judging, condemning heart full of...well...hate, instead of God's love.

I really appreciate your website and your articles. Looking back, it's hard to see that my family and I were really that naive and brainwashed. I'm grateful for the mercy and grace of God. I'm reading through the Bible with new eyes! :-)
Esbee July 7, 2012 Reply

Mr. Bill gives families lessons on how to be stalkers???!?!?!?
- MatthewS July 8, 2012 Reply
  
  for the record, and I'm guessing you are being tongue in cheek here, this exercise was a broader people-watching and people-judging exercise but not aimed at following anyone in specific. The exercise involved you remaining in one spot for a while and watching the people come and go and judging from appearances. This would be significantly different from stalking someone, thankfully.
  
  As I recall, another part of the exercise was to look around in church and see who was paying attention to the sermon. I remember my dad actually being annoyed at that one and saying "if everyone is looking around to see who's paying attention then NO one will be paying attention!"
We Were Elite, Super Special Christians | Recovering Grace February 24, 2013 Reply

[...] could we know how our outward appearance should look? We were given school assignments to go to a local shopping area and observe people. We were told what to look for–“eye [...]
Jerusha Lofland March 15, 2013 Reply

Well, well, well. News straight from IBLP Headquarters this week:

"We have submitted a ticket to our ATI team to revise the Wisdom Booklet project mentioned with further clarification on the purpose of the project (Learning to look on "the multitudes" with compassion as Jesus did). Thank you for sharing your concerns!"

Too bad it's 25 years too late to save my family from needing professional therapy. Half of them weren't even born when we did that god-awful project. But hey, look on the bright side. For one project in one parent guide out of 54 Wisdom Booklets... Bill submitted a freaking ticket and his conscience is still clear!
- "Hannah" March 15, 2013 Reply
  
  That *might* fix the problem, were that project an isolated incident, and not a pervasive attitude of the program.
  
  Reminds me a bit of studying personality disorders in college... In order to be diagnosed, the characterstics of the disorder, must be pervasive to the personality... Take away these characteristics, and there would be nothing left to the person, but a shell.
  
  Legalism is pervasive in IBLP/ATI.
Wisdom Books and the Beatitudes: Post-It Notes On A Work of Art | Recovering Grace May 27, 2013 Reply

[...] of the Wisdom Books. Perhaps your exposure to the Beatitudes began with that unfortunate parking lot people-judging assignment[8] and ended with a map of U.S. pollen [...]
Experiencing Freedom | Recovering Grace August 1, 2013 Reply

[...] the “right” clothing, having the “right” friends. I still struggle with judging people by their outward appearance and behavior, rather than seeing individuals that Jesus loves enough to die for [...]
Headless Unicorn Guy May 1, 2014 Reply

"“As a family, drive to a busy supermarket. Park near the entrance so that you can observe from your car those who enter and leave the store. Try to be as inconspicuous as possible. Write down all you can for each of the following points. Use the vocabulary words throughout your report.” [1]

An exercise like that makes sense in only two contexts:
1) A creative writing/storytelling characterization exercise; noticing quirks, appearances, mannerisms, trying to figure the stories and backstories for each of "those you can observe".
2) Training of Spies and Informers for the Regime.
- Nancy2 May 1, 2014 Reply
  
  When my son was three we had a game we would play while traveling. He would look at a car driving down the road and ask, "Where are they going?" I would create a story off the top of my head complete with names, dialog, imaginary places, creatures, etc. He would ask more questions, and with every question there was a deeper storyline invented. When he turned five he glanced over at the car next to us and asked, "Who are they?" I made something up. He was incredulous, "You are lying! I know that girl she is in Mrs. Gilmore's class and has recess with me. That's not her name, and she is going to her Aunt's." I quickly pulled over and explained to him I thought we were playing a game of make believe. I never considered that he would think I knew so many people, and their business. He was so upset to find out I didn't know everyone.
  
  Likewise with the lesson described, there is no way they know anything. Even a five year old eventually figures it out when speculation doesn't match the truth already revealed.
  - Nancy2 May 1, 2014 Reply
    
    P.S. That moment in time opened the door to conversations for years to come concerning who has a right to define a person, what is your responsibility to clearly define yourself to others, and what boundaries are needed to keep from being either gullible or too judgmental.
    
    While taking him home Easter he looked at the car next to us and asked, "Where are they going?" All three of us died laughing. 29 years pass and nothing really changes.
greg r May 1, 2014 Reply

@HUG: glad to have you over here posting at RG....where we can keep a better eye on you... the surveilance at IMONK must have gotten too intense
Wisdom Books and the Beatitudes: Post-It Notes On a Work of Art August 20, 2014 Reply

[…] of the Wisdom Books. Perhaps your exposure to the Beatitudes began with that unfortunate parking lot people-judging assignment[8] and ended with a map of U.S. pollen […]
J H February 15, 2019 Reply

I grew up in IBLP's teaching. I wondered where my family got our judgemental attitudes from... until now. We judge others (even fellow Christians) all the time without even thinking about it! We actually thought it was right. My brother and I are now working on not being judgemental.
- kevin February 23, 2019 Reply
  
  J H,
  Welcome to the discussion. Prayers for you and your brother in working on not being judgmental. You will find a wealth of resources here to help you work through much of what you have been exposed to. Are members of your family still involved in the organization?

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