Story of a Destiny

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Story of a Destiny

Story of a Destiny

29 September 2011, 06:03

A little star was forming, developing, reaching to become all that the Biggest Star in the solar system meant for it to be. A Mentor star came alongside the little star, and offered to help. The little star shared its secrets and its struggles, and waited to be told how to become the great star it was meant to be.

The Mentor told the growing star that it needed to function within a smaller solar system, away from the bigger, stronger, brighter stars, because it had a made a very bad mistake. The little star felt shame. The star didn’t know that in the blinding perfect light of the Biggest Star, the deformity of its mistake disappeared! So the little star decided to follow the Mentor’s direction and accept its fate, and lived in the small solar system for a long time.

Then one day, something amazing happened. The light from the Biggest Star broke into the little solar system! The star soon discovered from the greater light of the Biggest Star that the Mentor star was a miser. Its words were meant to restrain her by fear in the little solar system, to serve the Mentor’s purposes and ideas. The Biggest Star brought with It a company of many other beautiful stars, and together they told the little star that it was a star of great value! It was surely meant to live among the greatest of stars! Its shame became as nothing, and the little star—little no more—entered into its destiny with the Biggest Star. And NO ONE ever noticed its deformities, or the shame it had so long hidden from.

The star asked the Biggest Star one day why It did not turn away from such a damaged past, and It replied, “Behold, I make all things new. I covered your shame when you sought after Me.” The beautiful star cried for joy and danced and sang its way to a new, true destiny, the one it had sought for so long ago…

***********

From the author: This star is myself, and Bill Gothard is the mentor who told me I had committed a sin that could be forgiven, but NEVER forgotten by him or his leadership. My confessions followed me in a file to ministry in Russia. He warned leaders to watch me, “for my own safety.” I wasn’t allowed unsupervised living arrangements, and was certainly not allowed to live at IBLP Headquarters, where I might influence others. At the time, I felt disappointment that my desire to serve God was hampered by my past mistakes. I accepted the restrictions placed on me by Bill Gothard for many years, because I believed that I needed to suffer the consequences of my mistakes. Satan had tried to convince me that I would never be a whole Christian, and Bill Gothard had confirmed it. I believed it for a long time. Some of you know me and would NEVER guess that this is my story. And because Christ covered it and I’ve been forgiven and set free—you will never see me as that despicable person I thought I was. I don’t even think of it now, but was reminded of it every day when I worked for IBLP. I was given menial jobs that kept me out of the limelight, because I was told I was a “dishonorable vessel.” (II Timothy 2:20) “But in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and of silver, but also of wood and of earth; and some to honour, and some to dishonour.” Bill Gothard neglected to emphasize the redemption in the verse that follows, rather emphasizing that I would have to serve in a menial capacity until I was ready to be promoted. Promotion never happened. I accepted his word as truth, as a man of God, and my mentor. I accepted that my shame required me to cover my light, to hide my sin. It wasn’t for another 20 or so years that I learned the truth about myself in the words that followed the Scripture that had condemned me:

“If a man therefore purge himself from these, he shall be a vessel unto honour, sanctified, and meet for the master’s use, and prepared unto every good work.” There are always new truths to learn, but the best are sometimes the hardest, and the longest in coming.

Today, I am in the delightful process of discovering my destiny. I love my life, and I dance before God. He loves me, and I love Him!

"Shining Star" spent about 6 years in ATI as a young adult, finding a new relationship with her Dad and then bondage in legalism. A successful courtship and marriage to a non-ATI man helped to free her mind in many respects, and God is taking them and their 8 children through some wonderful mind-blowing experiences figuring out who God wants them to be.

All articles on this site reflect the views of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the views of other Recovering Grace contributors or the leadership of the site. Students who have survived Gothardism tend to end up at a wide variety of places on the spiritual and theological spectrum, thus the diversity of opinions expressed on this website reflects that. For our official statement of beliefs, click here.

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6 Comments

Tammy September 29, 2011 Reply

“If a man therefore purge himself from these, he shall be a vessel unto honour, sanctified, and meet for the master’s use, and prepared unto every good work.” Shame on BG and his leadership for their judgemental, condeming, unforgiving, unloving and unscriptural way they treated you!

You shall know the truth and the truth will(has) set you free!
Your story has a beautiful ending. To God be the glory great things He has done.
May God continue to bless you and your family.
Encouraged September 29, 2011 Reply

I loved reading your star story - so encouraging to read and be reminded how God covers our shame! I love that!

"The Biggest Star brought with It a company of many other beautiful stars, and together they told the little star that it was a star of great value!" How beautiful that God comes to us and brings us out of our shame and bondage! I'm grateful for how He showed you that your past is covered and you are an honorable vessel, useful, and no longer a "small" star.

Thanks for sharing the pain and shame you felt in your story. I'm sorry that happened to you and that you lived under condemnation and scrutiny for those years in ATI! Thank you for your vulnerability in sharing your path in discovering God's destiny for you!

My heart was touched and encouraged by the reminder that He has covered all my shame and His light covers all my mistakes. While I know these truths, I find that my heart needs constant reminders that He has made me a vessel of honor. Thank you!
MatthewS September 30, 2011 Reply

God's redemption just makes it so much harder to control you through fear and guilt. Your story, and especially the note at the end, made me feel claustrophobic. I'm glad you found a way out!
Elizabeth Cook September 30, 2011 Reply

Thank you for sharing this!
RachelG October 3, 2011 Reply

You're story angered and saddened me. I will never understand how one person can think himself/herself to have such God-given power over another's life. I'm so sorry that you lived under this devastating lie for so long. I'm so thrilled that God's light exposed this lie! Thank you for the verses you shared. Bill Gothard was a master at only quoting a verse here and there to fit his ideology. How awesome to keep reading and have the missing piece to the puzzle. THANK YOU for sharing!
Another Hannah August 13, 2012 Reply

What kind of mistake would be "forgivable, but unforgettable" and lead to that kind of treatment?? Just makes me wonder...

Story of a Destiny

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