Failing Formulas

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Failing Formulas

Failing Formulas

2 November 2011, 06:30

We hear lots of testimonials. Stories of rags to riches in business, anecdotes of financial failures to success, testimonies of spiritual conversions from a life of destructive behavior toward healthy living,.... I think my story (so far) might fall under the category of "failing formulas." Sounds bland enough, but in my world it's huge!

As a result of my background in a rigid church influence as well as Bill Gothard's Advanced Training Institute, it has taken me some time to figure out that life is not as cut-and-dry as I once thought. Recently, my pastor spoke on the subject of failing formulas. What he had to say on the subject really tied some things together in my mind and so I thought I would share it with our Recovering Grace readers.

For 23 years I lived with the understanding that there is a formula for everything: “If you do A-B-C, the result will be X-Y-Z.” If I followed the steps of 1-2-3, I’d have a successful education. If I do exactly these things, my marriage will be perfect. If I operate by a specific code of principles, my children will turn out right. So I worked. I obeyed the steps. I believed in the formulas. And I watched as others followed the same rules. But the principles failed me. The steps weren’t infallible. Heartache came regardless. And I watched as the formulas failed others.

In the following years, I gradually took a back seat to catch my breath and try to figure out the problem. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t tempted to blame God. After all, the formulas I was taught… the principles I believed in… the code of conduct I followed… they were from Him. Weren’t they? They were the rules I was taught at church. They were the “thou shalt’s” and “shall not’s” I thought I saw in the Bible. Weren’t they direct promises from God? So did He fail me? Or did the church fail me? Or was I simply misled? I’d operated under the principles of A-B-C. But X-Y-Z didn’t happen. Why not? Maybe God didn’t fail me. Maybe I just didn’t try hard enough. Is that it? These were the questions that floated around in my head for some time. Years actually.

Then one day I learned a phenomenal concept: It’s not about me at all. I spent years focusing on myself and how I could please God enough to gain some reward. I lived so long thinking that His pleasure or displeasure in me was measured by a positive or negative outcome. I spent a lot of time thinking so little of myself that I was trying, trying, trying to follow a formula to get somewhere with God. I know it sounds like a paradox: focused on myself and yet thinking so little of myself. But the crux of the matter is this: I’d misunderstood God. I didn’t realize that He was the only Doer that mattered. Furthermore, I didn’t realize that His doing is what made me already complete. So all I needed to do was to BE. God made the world. He created mankind. He did His thing. And He continues to do His thing. He doesn’t need me. But He welcomes me to fall into step with what He’s already doing. He wants me to just be.

I can easily wrap my mind around a 5-step process toward success. Just tell me what to do. Give me a formula. I can follow a religious structure. I can do church. I did that for years. I can do a style of clothing. I did it for years. I can do a brand of speech. All the right words and ism’s… Again, I did it for years. I can do a formula in hopes of promised success. That’s how I think. It makes so much sense to me.

Aren’t many of us like this? We want to control instead of trust. We don’t take a step unless we can see where we’re going. We follow neat little formulas while saying, “This will keep me safe.” It’s taken me years to embrace that God is already doing His thing. And to trust that God is God and that He is the Doer and that all I have to do is to be. Yeah, this is tough. And liberating. And exciting. And scary. It takes an awful lot of faith. And letting go. Just to be.

NOTE: This article is meant in no way minimize my belief in holy living. My thoughts on living to please God can be found here in another article.

All articles on this site reflect the views of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the views of other Recovering Grace contributors or the leadership of the site. Students who have survived Gothardism tend to end up at a wide variety of places on the spiritual and theological spectrum, thus the diversity of opinions expressed on this website reflects that. For our official statement of beliefs, click here.

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11 Comments

MatthewS November 2, 2011 Reply

Right on, Donna. The "righteous requirement of the law" is satisfied in those who walk in the Spirit instead of walking in the flesh (Rom 8:4). Walking in the Spirit does not easily map to any checklist. It's about abiding and growing fruit (love, joy, peace, etc., also thankfulness, forgiveness, and other such fruit). The seeming paradox: focusing on the Law (or checklists or methods) will fail every single time but walking in the Spirit one step at a time will eventually result heart change and true righteousness.

Most people are attracted to one version or another of what you referred to as the A-B-C that results in X-Y-Z plan, but there is no such replacement for walking in the Spirit.
Kathy November 2, 2011 Reply

I remember feeling somewhat betrayed by God when I got cancer as a new Christian. I didn't understand why I felt like that, and I remember thinking, "But I don't even BELIEVE in name-it-and-claim-it theology!" Now I realize my problem was that my Gothard formulas had failed me! Thanks for this lightbulb moment!
- Tammy November 3, 2011 Reply
  
  "The Health, Wealth, and Prosperity Gospel is not the Gospel at all; whether it comes from Gothard or anyone else." The truth is: we live in a cursed world and bad things will happen to everyone no matter how well we try to live. Christ promises to be with us during the tough times. Jesus had to suffer much even unto death. How is it we think if we will only do such and such that we are exempt from suffering? I've been guilty of this type of thinking. I call it "stinkin thinkin'!
  
  Thanks Donna for your article.
Eliza November 2, 2011 Reply

So true! Following the "correct" formula does not always equal success!
Charles November 4, 2011 Reply

Great article... blessings as you continue to discover grace!
- Donna November 7, 2011 Reply
  
  Thanks, Pastor. That means the world to me. =)
Mercy November 8, 2011 Reply

This is an awesome article. I've fallen prey to that attitude: that if I obey God perfectly enough, I can avoid suffering. In doing this, I took my eyes off Christ and what He has already done for me, focusing instead on my own efforts, and I also was living in a way that contradict Scripture: the Bible says Christians WILL face trials.

This comment - "We follow neat little formulas while saying, 'This will keep me safe'" - reminded me of a quote from C. S. Lewis. In one of his books, a character asks about the mighty lion Aslan, "Is he safe?" The answer was, "No, but he IS good."
JordanMaria November 8, 2011 Reply

This is one of the reasons I can't stand ATI. It's a "get spriritual quick" scheme just like those guys on infomercials who promise you almost instant wealth if you follow their easy steps!

Why no one saw this is beyond me.
A Response to Bill Gothard | Recovering Grace January 30, 2012 Reply

[...] people understand that they did not fail in incorporating the formula into their families—the formula itself failed. Our website’s impact has already been greater than we could have imagined, as we have seen well [...]
elizabeth February 1, 2012 Reply

Very true!!!! It is so much easier to follow a bunch of lists and rules than to hear Holy Spirit for yourself!! I've been spending the last 9 years getting out of religious legalism and learning how "to be". What a process. Freeing and sometimes scary!!
From Rules to Grace | Recovering Grace September 25, 2013 Reply

[…] my life. I wanted to live the Christian life the way that Scripture taught. Yet, I was taught that in order to live the Christian life in accordance with Scripture, there were certain things I must …. This led to my adopting the mentality that God’s love (or “God’s blessing”) depended on […]

Failing Formulas

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