25 Comments

1. 

   Ann December 28, 2011 Reply

   Ah the memories! I first remember hearing this teaching at one of the Knoxville conferences in the '90's as a teenager - and subsequently journaling about trying to live it. I've since grown up and left ATI - but to this day fight with feeling that I shouldn't let others close to me or minister to me since I am taking energy from them rather than being the strong one. Yet that's nonsense - why would any of us ever go into ministry if it was wrong for anyone to struggle, hurt, be weak, and need ministry? It's illogical.
   
   One of the worst aspects of false doctrine - it affects the lives of people long after they've quit believing it.

2. 

   Dulce de leche December 28, 2011 Reply

   Brilliant! You nailed this. I constantly hear how happy people who follow this look, and want to scream that of course they look happy--that is the only acceptable emotion. Thank you for speaking up and for all that you are doing to help others find grace that doesn't depend on our own desire and power.

3. 

   Ileata December 28, 2011 Reply

   I'm glad someone wrote on this topic. I was just thinking of it the other day. Connecting energy giving/wasting/taking to Rev. 3 is such a misuse of Scripture. And, it's a set up for spiritual abuse. I mean, if you don't always go above and beyond the call of duty, you aren't spiritualy hot. This might explain why so many who were "called to serve" at TC's ended up with adrenal fatigue/exhaustion. And the idea that to be spiritually hot, you can't seek out the face of your friends? How crazy is that?

4. 

   Maranatha Coulthurst December 28, 2011 Reply

   Good post.
   Wow. I can't believe the instructions to becoming an "Energy Giver" say that every action should be checked against the "Basic Principles" and does not say to check them against God's Word! I remember from one of the seminars hearing about smiling even when you don't feel like it, and Gothard saying that it was just like burping when you don't feel like it. This is evidence, unfortunately, that what's going on in the heart is not as important as the external in the world of IBLP/ ATI.

5. 

   Amy December 28, 2011 Reply

   Thank you so much for that article! I am just stunned. I discovered this website because I am concerned about a friend who seems to be going deeper and deeper into IBLP. Since I myself was not raised ATI, I knew nothing of that teaching on "energy giving", but it suddenly shed so much light on my friend's situation. I feel like a light bulb just went on, and my heart is breaking for her!
   
   We met 8 years ago in a newly-formed small group bible study at our church. We were all young wives and mothers of small children, and at that time she was a joyful, open, faith-filled sister in Christ who laughed freely, chatted about movies, joked about toddler tantrums, etc. etc. Gradually over the first year or two she began changing... first they decided to homeschool their children and began attending a new church (I later learned a much more conservative church that emphasized submission of women to their husbands and fathers). Our church was struggling with the role of women in church leadership at the time, and many people left for various reasons so I thought nothing of it. And I was fully supportive of her choice to homeschool... we don't homeschool but I was excited for her because she was so eager to get started and clearly felt it was God's plan for her family! They already had four little ones, but her husband went through a vasectomy reversal and she expressed the desire to have more children. Again, I thought that was wonderful, if they felt led to do that. They got rid of their television, all the girls started wearing skirts, and she dropped out of our bible study.
   
   Then they sold their large, lovely home and moved outside of town to a much smaller house on a large piece of land where they kept animals and a big garden. She told me that her husband wanted to be out in the country where his kids would have the chance to do chores, etc. and that they wanted to get out of their mortgage and live debt-free. But I began to realize that she felt very isolated out there. She was not a "farmer" as she put it and was overwhelmed by the work on top of homeschooling and her large family. Slowly, she became uncomfortable with any negative conversation, any discussion of "worldly" things like fashion trends, contemporary music, etc. She lost that easy, spontaneous sense of humor, but she was always pleasant and smiling and grateful, and never complained about ANYTHING anymore. Everything was always a blessing, or it was an opportunity to practice patience, dependence on the Lord, etc. She was always giving, serving, helping, "going the extra mile," with this pleasant and smiling countenance. I thought she must be happy, because she always look so content and serene. But I think that was merely her obedient smile or her ministry smile or whatever. You article just makes so much sense to me, it all just clicks.
   
   I had no idea that she was involved with Bill Gothard's teachings because I knew nothing about him until she mentioned using Wisdom Booklets in her homeschool. I happened to have seen some episodes of 19 Kids and Counting and recognized that the Duggars use the same materials and I did a little online research and eventually ended up here. I have learned a lot about ATI/IBLP since then, and I am so concerned, especially about the way BG abuses Scripture and redefines Grace.
   
   Thank you again for this article. It might seem like a little thing, but the smiling masks play a HUGE role in this. I speak from an outsider's perspective. The smiles are very convincing. I once admired the Duggars on television because they were all so bright-eyed, energetic, hard-working, positive, encouraging, unselfish, enthusiastic, and so on and so on. I mean it really makes an impression. I thought to myself, "I don't have the same convictions, but if they look so peaceful and joyful that must be the fruit of the Spirit who is at work in their life. Good for them, God is good!"
   
   I am sure you are not surprised that my friend has cut off all contact with me. I have shared this website with her, but she never responded to my email. We have been drifting apart for a long time (now I fully understand why) and so we don't have the foundation of a close friendship. In there anything else I can do for her, other than prayer?

   • 

     "Hannah" December 30, 2011 Reply

     Amy, I think it is wonderful that you see the bondage your friend is in and wish to help. Speaking not as a professional, but from the experience of one who has been in that same bondage, I would say the best thing you can do other than prayer, is to stay present as a friend, insofar as she will allow it. You have expressed a dissenting voice, now stay present. This is a powerful psychological hold. Someday she may have enough of the Scripture-twisting, control, even abuse, and be ready to get out. She may need help to do that, and she may come to you for help if she feels safe with you. Thank you so much for caring.

6. 

   Tammy December 28, 2011 Reply

   I can only imagine that your being stunned will turned into utter shock after you read many of the stories on this website.
   
   I wish the answer to your reaching your friend would be as easy as just exposing this website to her. Please don't underestimate the power of prayer. It is very difficult to reach someone who is caught up in gothard's cult. I would pray for her often and show love to her as you have opportunity. Seeing the love of Christ in others had a huge impact on me when I was in gothard's cult. It was something that I just couldn't deny and got me to thinking and questioning his teachings for their accuracy. Gothard tells his followers that those who disagree with him are in rebellion and have sin in their life. (And who doesn't have sin in their life?) None of us are perfect or will be this side of heaven. He also blames their rebellion on the unclean music that a person listens to. Unclean music is any music with a rock beat. He is able to lure his followers into his cult by promising them godly children if they will do this and this and such. Who doesn't want their children to be godly?
   
   Glad you found this website so that you could have better insite into what is going on with your friend.

7. 

   Pippi December 28, 2011 Reply

   Wow, what a scary teaching. As for energy giving, there's more than one way to enable someone. Pretending a hurtful doctrine is actually helping you is one of those.

8. 

   Pippi December 28, 2011 Reply

   BTW, Gothard is not anything resembling a Christain. He follows none of Christ's doctrines. He has built a religion out of Freudian psychology and wallpapered it with Scripture.

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     Robin June 3, 2012 Reply

     Pippi, that is an elegant, succint portrayal of Gothard and his teachings!

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     hurting March 19, 2013 Reply

     Pippi, there is so much potential to this comment to be expanded for a better critique of ATI. I have also, with my limited knowledge of the it, noticed humanistic and Freudian psychology in Dr. Gothard's teachings. Someone should really write an article for RG on this subject.

9. 

   Karen Richmond December 29, 2011 Reply

   This makes me tired just remembering it.

10. 

    Mercy December 29, 2011 Reply

    How sad. First there's a long list of exhausting demands on you to always be an Energy Giver and then a Biblical exhortation that God's yoke is easy. Thus, if you're overwhelmed, you're in sin! The problem is obviously with YOU not with the overwhelming and constant expectation to be strong and perfect.
    
    What a heavy burden!

11. 

    Eliza December 30, 2011 Reply

    Being happy is the only option. How true!!! What mental gymnastics we went through to put a positive spin on everything that happened. To the point that pain = love.
    
    Anyone remember the teaching that we were supposed to respond to "How are you?" with "Rejoicing!"? Yeah, that took some mental gymnastics too.

12. 

    Lora December 30, 2011 Reply

    Wow, yeah. This idea/teaching was used to abuse so many people who labored so hard for the ministry. Having a "tough time" was simply not acceptable -- at least not in public. I will say that *most* Christian ministries/churches have this problem, but most of them likely don't have it delineated for them in quite this fashion.

13. 

    R. L. December 30, 2011 Reply

    I'm so glad this article was helpful. I'd been pondering the subject for several weeks, and then I found the information in my EXCEL materials and decided to write about it. At this point I choose to remain anonymous, since my parents are still deeply involved with ATI/IBLP.

14. 

    Darcy December 30, 2011 Reply

    I remember being complimented on my bright smile. Being told I was an Energy-Giver and trying so desperately to fit the description in the IBLP materials. There's no wonder even the thought exhausts me now. We HAD to smile, HAD to look happy, HAD to show the world that we had something they didn't. Look at us, aren't we joyful? I wonder how many smiling faces covered hearts that were broken. I don't have to wonder...I think I know.

15. 

    Susan Leddy Grafton December 30, 2011 Reply

    I came across this same chart the other day while clearing out old stuff....I started reading it, snorted in disgust, and tossed it out! My children still laugh about the whole thing and make fun of it. (We tried to use it with them when they were very little...it got old fast.) It was all the rage when I was at HQ...if you felt "down," tough luck....get out your "ministry smile." Oh, brother. Does honesty not have a place in displaying outwardly our inward feelings? Uh...yeah...

16. 

    JDM December 30, 2011 Reply

    "If you allow sadness on your face, you’re selfish. In other words: If you’re hurting, cry alone where no one can see you. If you’re struggling, don’t tell anyone." I guess he's forgetting the verse to weep with those who weep.
    "But silliness and joking? Light-hearted fun?" My family was always like this, but I felt as if I couldn't be myself when I lived at a training center. It drove me nuts!

17. 

    Wendy Blake December 31, 2011 Reply

    And here we see again that once "grace" becomes "the power and desire to do God's Will" and the person who initiated the definition change is allowed to determine what God's will is, You get extreme bondage- either to pride (if you are praised as having been able to measure up), or to depression (because most will never measure up).
    The real answer: none of this is in the Bible!!! So, as the writer said, yes, we encourage and uplift others but not to be "someone" but simply because of "love." The love He gave to us because of who He is, not because of anything we have done.

18. 

    David Auge February 9, 2012 Reply

    Wow this concept still plagues me and has sent me over the edge of total physical and mental exhaustion! Thanks for the post...I needed that

19. 

    David February 10, 2012 Reply

    Rejoice with those who rejoice; give those who mourn a guilt trip. Rom 12:15 (Gothard Standard Version)

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      Hurting March 19, 2013 Reply

      This actually happened to me twice at South Campus/Verity. First, an authority was bellowing at me for being down cast and the effect it on the other works. The next time, a few years later, the authorities were disciplining and starting criticizing me for being gloomy (which surprised me and my friends). When I stared to explain, one of them just interrupted me in a 'shut-up' manner and the other one started asking personal questions in an inappropriate manner and situation. I often wonder if they thought criticizing me for being sad would make me happy or if knocking me down for being down would force me to get up.

20. 

    Samuel Lundmark June 4, 2012 Reply

    Gothard regards the strong and considers the weak insufficient, while God considers our frame that we are dust and makes provision for us!
    
    The constrasts are endless.

21. 

    Heather July 14, 2012 Reply

    I remember this teaching. One of the many ways my mom interpreted it to mean was, 'rise before dawn' and no naps in the middle of the day, you work! (of course if she ever needed to take a nap, she could take it, and don't you DARE wake her up.)Bleh. Today I don't fuss about stuff like that. Ecclesiates is clear. There is a time for this a time for that, including resting, working, laughing, playing, etc... in ATI there is no room for a body to simply be physically tired or getting sick, because you'd be an energy taker/waster.. GASP! Sinner! I know one lady who used to say that if she got tired, it was the devil attacking her body. (I'd think, maybe if you got a sufficient night's sleep every night, instead of competing with whoever to see who gets up earlier, you wouldn't be so tired!)