When I look back at my parents’ decision to join the Advanced Training Institute (ATI), I think I can understand many of the reasons behind their choice. They first encountered Bill Gothard and the Institute in Basic Life Principles (IBLP) when their friends attended the Basic Seminar in the 1970s. A few years later, my parents attended their first Basic Seminar. As young believers, they found many exciting ideas, since the Christian life seemed to be broken down into understandable, achievable principles. Bill Gothard’s “new approach to life” presented a great alternative to my parents’ childhood experiences.
What did the world look like when my parents were growing up? We’re quite familiar with the culture of the 1960s — the Baby Boomers came seeking freedom in the form of counterculture and complete social revolution. Their rebellion towards society was characterized by rock music, long hair, free love, drug experimentation, and radical beliefs. Mini-skirts, bikinis, Beatle boots, tie-dye, bell-bottom jeans, and sideburns all became associated with this counterculture. It seemed to those not caught up in the hippie movement that the generation was headed straight for destruction. In terms of a pendulum, could it possibly swing any further?
Enter Bill Gothard. His seminar began as a means of reaching out to troubled youth, and it quickly grew into an event that attracted thousands in attendance over the next two decades. He advocated a return to Scripture and the principles he found within its pages. It was time for the pendulum to swing back. Instead of rebellion, he taught submission to authority. Instead of scandalous dress, he advocated modesty. His alternative to free love? Biblical dating, which he eventually renamed biblical courtship. To a generation of young believers, seeking an alternative to the extreme changes in their culture, his teachings were refreshing and new, desperately needed in a world that seemed upside down.
And so the pendulum swung — and continued to swing.
When my parents first attended the Basic Seminar, they saw the need for balance to what was clearly unscriptural in their surroundings. They were excited to discover principles that, if properly applied, would lead to guaranteed success. Several years later, after they had begun homeschooling, they learned about ATI and chose to join. Again, they saw happy families with perfect children, and they wanted the same results. My parents wholeheartedly embraced the seven principles and all of the associated teachings.
How far would the pendulum swing?
Among my ATI friends and family, I saw many extremes. Dress resembling clothing from prairie days. Rebellion prevented by establishing strict parental control. Formulas replacing relationships. Well-supervised courtship apparently eliminating free sex. Contemporary music destroyed and replaced with hymns in 19th century style. Our parents wanted to do things “right.” They wanted to protect us from the extremes they’d seen while growing up. As a result, they withdrew us almost entirely from our culture and created their own subculture. In response to the extremes, they allowed the pendulum to swing far in the opposite direction.
Now it’s my turn. I’m faced with the pendulum. What will I do?
- I’ve observed the disintegration that comes from a lack of rules and structure. I’ve also watched formulas destroy relationships. It’s time to build real, genuine relationships with others, especially in parent-child relationships. I will not rely on steps, principles, or formulas to guarantee a picture-perfect “successful” family. Instead, I will trust in the Lord to direct me as I live out my faith in honest relationships before the world.
- I’ve witnessed the tragic results of the philosophy of free love as I now live in world filled with broken families. I’ve also personally experienced the problems with a parent-controlled courtship. I will teach my children early to make responsible decisions in choosing friends, so that when the time comes for them to date, I will be able to trust them to make wise decisions and to seek counsel if they feel they need it.
- I’ve seen a broad spectrum of clothing choices. I believe that clothing should be modest and appropriate. Therefore, I will dress in a way that does not draw undue attention. In other words, I will choose clothing that suits the occasion and the context within my culture, and I will teach my children to do the same.
- I will teach my children to think for themselves and to make wise, informed decisions. I will seek to influence their values through building genuine relationships within the family, and I will trust the Lord for the results.
- I’m ready to drop the façade of perfection and accept that all humans are imperfect. When I make mistakes, I will seek forgiveness and move on. When my children make mistakes, I will lovingly correct them, seek restoration, and move on.
- I will wholeheartedly embrace God’s grace as favor I cannot earn, and I will quit trying to win His favor by following a list of steps.
Because of my childhood in ATI, I’m aware of both of the extremes to which the pendulum can swing. By God’s grace, I choose to live with confidence and faith instead of fearfully overreacting to either extreme. It’s time for the pendulum to stop.
Love this! Very refreshing!
I agree. Thank you for this balanced perspective. I appreciate the gracious tone of your writing. You do not blame your parents or the Institute, but you look at the facts objectively and intelligently. I like your resulution to trust God and walk in balance.
Super helpful post, especially the reflective/moving forward/self-analysis at the end... Thank you!
I second that! So well said.
100 times Yes!! So many of our friends coming out of this extreme are swinging to another far extreme...which only creates more imbalance. Frankly, I am tried of seeing people getting out of one cult, only to blindly turn to another one and become filled with cynicism and bitterness toward the initial one! Thanks for speaking out.
Thank you Caroline,
Such a refreashing article. I've seen too many people swing the pendulum far to the left after life with ATI and leave their faith in Christ. There is so much true joy and happiness is serving the real God of the Bible and following what Jesus really ment us to do.
Well said!!! I live this. Exactly what I hope to do with my life as well.
Well said.
I appreciate your thoughts on this. Puts it in perspective on why my parents maybe thought the way they did getting into the ATI program.
My background wasn't exactly ATI, but had a lot of similarities especially in my teen years. This post really helped me understand why it was so easy for my family to follow these "principles" - my parents were just trying to save me from what they went through during the "free love" era. I kind of had forgotten that aspect of it. Thanks.
I experienced my teen years in the 60's and hated it. The mantra of the day was " do your own thing" but that was a lie. It was really do what every one else is doing or be ostracized. My peers teased me for not wanting to wear mini-skirts or be like a hippie. (My thing was horses!)
Having been reading all summer long I have seen the ways legalism (Gothard, QF, patriarchy) has ruined many lives--- heart wrenching stories of childhood cut short, rules upon rules, performance based acceptance, forced marriages, women worn out mentally and physically from baby after baby, then when they escape they completely rejecting God and becoming atheist. It is like they have been in a war. And they have. And many seem to be suffering from battle fatigue, now called post tramatic stress disorder.
The true enemy is the devil who has come to kill, steal and destroy and has been doing very well at it. Legalism must be one of his favorite ways to trap people and it works very well. He has been using it ever since Adam and Eve.
I would agree with you that their is much stress even with coming out of ATI. For me, I came to brokeness and felt completely worthless. There is just something very humbling and humiliating about realizing that much of what you embraced and taught your kids was complete error.
I didn't forsake God, but I went through many years of searching for and questioning "what is truth?" In fact, even now, after all these yeasrs of being out of ATI, I still pretty much question everyting I hear.
Carolynn, great article. Thanks for writing.
This is so well written and expressed, and so balanced.. Balance is a hard thing to find. I was one of those parents you are writing about, although I like to think that we maintained some balance in the ATI program by not accepting everything hook, line, and sinker. We did however, err in some ways. Thankfully, I don't think my kids were ruined, but they were affected. Far into it, we decided it wasn't best...I never thought of myself as legalistic, but then, I think I have only recently begun to find out what grace is all about,, and I think it is something not just misunderstood by people who followed the seminar, but by most of the church at large..we just haven't been taught that it is grace based living, and not performance based living that lead to hearing God's voice.
I am thankful you used this experience to go on and do well, versus becoming bitter and angry. Your post was totally refreshing, and ministered to me. Thank you.
Carolyn,
I applaud you for giving your parents the benefit of the doubt. I can guarantee, as an ATI parent, that at least 95% of parents that joined ATI did it because the had a passionate love for God and for their children. We thought we had found the way of protecting our kids. Unfortunately, every generation rebels against what their parents did. I am recovering from the legalism and it was my ATI raised kids that taught me what grace is and how much better that is than legalism. However, I would like to suggest that most of you recovering ATI kids will have kids that will react to whatever you did as parents. Don't let it discourage you. God is still the perfect Father.
Your article is very good, and sweet. The counter culture movement of the 1960's was really rebellion against all that was good and Godly in our culture. BG seemed to be offering baby boomers a setting in which to honor God and be part of a large inter-denominational group. The draw also came across as "join us and bring healing, renewal, a new approach to life" to America. There was also the implication that BG, (whose name meant protector), was the great leader of a lovely home schooling program that would bring our culture back to God.
[...] It’s probably worth mentioning at this point that my family and I were never really all that involved with IBLP. We attended the seminars and used their materials for homeschooling, but that was about it. When both of my parents had come to a saving faith in Christ, they first started attending the seminars back in the 1970s, a time when the Christian “subculture” that was beginning to ostracize itself from an increasing.... [...]
Very well said. When I first came across rg I was upset at some articles that were just flat angry strike out at anyone that you can. I don't know why but over the next few weeks I would from time to time read something. I starting finding lots of lots of young people who were finding Christ not rules. My family worked at Headquarters and we were always considered rebels by certain people. The only thing I can figure is that we had joy when you were suppose to be serious all the time. Ok, so I shouldn't have almost hit Mr. G with a snowball, I really thought the guy needed to loosen up some! LOL! This article is so well put together! My kids have been urging me to write our families story. We all have one I guess. I'm praying about it.
Please do. If interested in sharing it on RG, email it to [email protected].
[…] I do not write this out of vindictiveness or anger; rather, I write it out of an inquiring and puzzled mind. I do not fault you for putting our family into the Advanced Training Institute (ATI) program. You wanted the best for our family, and I believe you sincerely thought you were doing the right thing. […]