When my family joined the Advanced Training Institute (ATI), I had just graduated from college with a bachelor’s degree in English. I was working as the secretary for a local Christian talk radio station and was trying to figure out what to do with my life. Fact is, I wasn’t really sure what I wanted to do with that degree. I had thought perhaps I would go on for a terminal degree and become a college professor, but money was a problem. I enjoyed editing and proofreading, but I wasn’t sure how I would break into those fields without moving to New York or Chicago — and I didn’t really want to leave my hometown.
And I needed work experience. Like most college graduates in the early 90s, I had a limited resume. I’d done my time at a fast food joint and a local supermarket, and I’d had a short stint at a non-profit that took advantage of my naïveté and inexperience. I was gaining experience fast at the radio station and enjoyed the work. There was one problem at the station: there was an ambitious employee who had her sights set on taking over, and I was in her way. I’m ashamed to say that she managed to run me off.
But my dad had spoken to someone at the Institute in Basic Life Principles (IBLP) — the parent organization from which ATI was created — and told them of my editing and writing ability. I was invited to come to IBLP headquarters in Oak Brook, Illinois, as staff. This seemed like a great opportunity for me to explore a career I’d always been interested in, while providing a little bit of a safety net in case it didn’t work out. But it would prove to be one of the most disastrous career decisions I could have made.
The first problem, though I would not recognize it as such for several months, was that IBLP’s definition of “staff” and my dad’s definition (and mine) were radically different. Despite the fact that I was 25, I was treated like the teenage apprenticeship students. I was put into a house with several younger girls, moved to other lodgings without warning or consent, expected to ask permission to leave campus (even though I had my own car), and so on. I was paid minimum wage, or just barely above it — a pay level that was not commensurate with my education, skills, or experience. I did not have health insurance until my father intervened. I wasn’t even allowed to choose what church I would go to — I had to choose from a specific list of “approved” churches, many of which were half an hour or more away from the campus. I had little free time and was not allowed to date or go shopping — or any of the other activities that a normal 25-year-old Christian woman might be expected to engage in. None of these things is really what one expects when one joins the staff of an organization. (And some of them came back to haunt me years later, when a prospective employer was reviewing my resume and salary history.)
The second problem was that “editing” at IBLP was very different from what it would have been at a traditional publishing house. I came to IBLP with extensive experience, having run my own typing and editing business while in college. But I did not have the experience to know that traditional editing and IBLP editing were worlds apart, and I quickly became both bored and frustrated. Most of what I did was proofreading or copyediting. The senior editor had some ideas that were just wrong. I pretty much swallowed my objections and did things her way — she was in authority, after all — but I was miserable. I’m a people person, and I was shut up in a room all day with very little interaction with other people. All of my editing decisions were subject to revision by someone guided by personal taste rather than authoritative usage manuals. Between the isolation and the suppression of my innate abilities, I was miserable. Had I interned at a traditional publishing house, today I would probably be a very happy editor with an impressive portfolio to my credit. As it is, I thought, “Ugh! I hate this!” and leaped at my first opportunity to get out.
When the position of secretary to the department director unexpectedly opened up, I grabbed it. And I enjoyed the work. But the atmosphere and teachings of ATI and IBLP are not conducive to learning the political and relational skills needed for working in the adult corporate world. I learned some bad habits and attitudes that seriously crippled me when I moved from being a secretary in the rarefied climate of IBLP to the real world.
Here are some of the things that I learned as an IBLP employee that I had to later, painfully, unlearn as an employee in the corporate world.
- Ask permission. As Dr. Lois Frankel says in Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office, when a person asks for permission, “she diminishes her stature and relegates herself to the position of a child.” Children ask permission. Employers don’t want children working for them. They want adults who are confident and who can make decisions.
- Don’t make decisions on your own. Part of this relates to asking permission. Part of it, however, relates to not making mistakes. If you refused to take final responsibility for a decision, then you were not the one in trouble if something went wrong. And since there was always a spiritual aspect to any correction of mistakes at IBLP, you did not want to be the one in trouble. So you passed even trivial decisions up the line to the highest possible level.
- Check and re-check until a project is perfect before you release it. The expectation of perfection and the fear of severe repercussions for mistakes fed my already problematic perfectionism until I was nearly paralysed with fear when I had to let go of a project. Nothing was ever perfect enough. In addition, some of my employers have complained that they don’t need, or want, perfection. They are perfectly happy with “good enough.” And they would very much like for me to learn when “good enough” is good enough, so that I don’t wear myself out striving for unnecessary perfection. (This one really shocked me. Who would have thought that you could be reprimanded or penalized for always turning in perfect work? But perfection slows you down, and sometimes fast and imperfect is, apparently, preferable.)
- Authority is always right. That’s just not true. Ever. Authority may be right. But there is no one in authority who never makes mistakes. And a good leader is always open to question and input. It is only a poor, insecure leader who objects to being asked “why” or who resists suggestions for improving either processes or morale.
- Let other people praise you; never “toot your own horn.” This simply does not work in the business world. If you don’t toot your own horn, you will never get ahead, other people will take credit for your work, and you will not be recognized as a valuable and contributing member of the corporate team.
- No means no. Despite the teachings on the “wise appeal,” the overriding message that one got in working at IBLP and ATI training centers was that once you got an answer, that was it. No was no. Don’t ask again. Several employers have told me that one of my most frustrating habits is not pushing back when something is important to me or when I get additional information that might change their decision.
- “I am here to make you successful.” I will never forget the first (and last) time I actually said this to a boss. He was embarrassed and stunned. Had no idea what to say. In his eyes, I was there to do whatever work he needed done. His success, or lack thereof, was his own concern.
- Don’t watch the clock. Work until the job is done. The problem is that when you are an hourly employee, they want you to watch the clock, because, most of the time, they would rather you finished the job tomorrow and clocked out on time, so that they don’t have to pay you overtime. And if you are salaried and you don’t watch the clock, you can easily end up being taken advantage of, especially if you enjoy the work you are doing. I have been in positions where I worked 80 hours in a week with no extra compensation “because you are salaried and that’s what it took to get the job done.”
- People are more important than projects. Not if the project has a deadline they aren’t.
- Character is more important than skills. Not if you want to keep your job for more than a week or two. I remember another former ATI student who struggled to get and keep a job in the “real” world after marrying and leaving the program. He said, “Character may get me in the door, but when my skills don’t match their needs, character won’t keep them from kicking me out.”
- Integrity and following the rules will get you noticed. Okay, yeah, they will get you noticed. But often for the wrong reason. For example, it is against the law for a notary to notarize a document unless the signatory is present; in some states, it’s a felony. Several of my supervisors have been incensed when I refused to notarize documents that their spouse signed and sent to the office to be notarized. I’m known as “overly conscientious” about notarizing. It’s a standing “joke” at the office — but there is a sharp barb of irritation nestled in that joke.
- Always wear a smile. There is, as The Preacher said, a time for everything. And there is a time to smile and a time not to smile. Inappropriate smiling sends a wrong message and can confuse the people you’re talking to. If you’re firing someone or trying to get your boss to take your ideas seriously, it’s not a time for a smile.
These are only a handful of the wrong lessons that I learned during my time working for IBLP. They have seriously hampered my ability to advance in my career — and even if it’s not the career I originally wanted, it would be nice if I could have advanced at the normal rate, and without the heartache, confusion, and bewilderment that I endured as I had to unlearn the lessons that working at IBLP taught me about how the world of business supposedly worked.
Excellent, thorough review of all the "principles" that were supposed to bring us success....
I had to "unlearn" what I learned working at HQ as well.
My first corporate job, I was a clerk for a law firm and one of my responsibilities was ordering all of the office supplies for the firm. Just as had been grilled in to me, I kept making appointments with my manager (who also was the firm's administrator) to get her permission what to order. One day she snapped, telling me that I was an adult and she wanted me to take responsibility and make decisions about what to order.
Boy, that stung. I thought she was mean. I was puzzled why God wasn't honoring my respect for my authorities.
Today, I completely understand where she was coming from. I've held many jobs in the time since, and I have managed employees. I've delegated the decision-making process for certain tasks (including ordering office supplies) to them because I don't have time to focus on it and I trust their judgment.
Here's an idea for a survey. It's a pretty good bet that over the years a bunch of IBLP funding came from donors who are successful business owners. So, now that tens of thousands of students have received character training with those funds, how many employees, not including family, have those donors hired and matured into executive roles based soley on character? Regardless of skills or abilities. I'll go out on a limb and guess almost none.
Those business owners knew better! They knew they wouldn't spend their own resources on people without the proper education! So how could they support the charade that some other company would?!? Mind boggling. Even the guy who developed Character First lists executives under his son (now the President) who all have college degrees. And his son didn't homeschool his own kids for long, but started a private school so his children could get the education they needed. Now that part makes sense. I wonder if they're going to college?
My career is fine [cough, cough]
Kidding aside, I have gotten into some very strange situations at work, where I just, apparently, had no idea what the proper social response was to the situation.
I remember finally going to college, when I was nearly 30, and often feeling confused at the situations I encountered, and unsure of what was expected of me...
I had just been so sheltered from "normal" society for most of my life. I had no reference point for simple, everyday interactions.
If so many families (parents and children who are now grown with their own children) paid IBLP to mistreat them, mislead them educationally, and make them "poor," why is there no class action lawsuit? Google it. You've got thousands of people reading this site. But I guess RG isn't going there, so maybe some of the parents should for their children. If someone doesn't want to be part of a lawsuit, they can opt out. Seems fitting that Gothard liquidate some of his properties so his former students can have a better chance in life. IMHO
Don't go to court before unbelievers. For actual crimes (eg abuse), yes; for damages, no point in dragging that through the civil courts. They wouldn't understand either side of the argument.
Also, who would pay the damages? The people who are still in ATI/IBLP would end up paying in one form or another. That's not what we want.
Wow. I think I had better study this one! I have totally believed every one of these. No wonder.....
Wow, I can totally relate to some of those. I could hardly make a decision for fear of making the wrong one. Besides, who was I to make one?
I remember the first time somebody really empowered me to make a decision. I was with a volunteer group and was working through an issue getting lots of advice from a few other other more experienced people. The director finally told me in private - this is what I'd do, but it's only my opinion and ultimately your choice. Figure out how you want to handle it and that's what we'll do.
Perhaps my HQ experience was different because it was 10 years later, or a different department (IT), different managers, different temperament, or any of a host of other reasons. Probably it was a combination of all of the above.
Regardless, my experience at HQ shaped me positively for my career and continues to have positive affects in my business life. Theologically, I believe Mr. Gothard teaches heresy in many subjects. But I cannot fault HQ for what it has not done.
I lived in one of the houses, not one of the group homes. We were never compelled to attend an "approved" church. I chose one a little ways from HQ but didn't have regular transportation due to not having a car. Regardless, it was a priority and so I made the necessary effort to get there.
While they preferred I notify my house leader when I was going off campus, it was never a point of difficulty, as they usually had the car, or simply didn't make an issue of my acting like a mature individual and living my life.
I worked in the IT department, as I mentioned earlier, and my managers were mature and capable and did not create the work environment Wendy experienced. It set me up well for future job environments out in the "real world".
It sounds as though several of the aspects Wendy complains about HQ life are specific to her situation, or at least specifically not to mine. We all have hang ups and situations and choices we regret, directions we like to think may have resulted in a more favorable life outcome, but before laying blame, it is important to make as strong an effort as possible to ensure the blame is target accurately. In Wendy's case it may be. I have no way of telling either way. Based on the information she has provided in this article alone, it seems to me there is a chance she regrets some past choices and may be simply pointing blame at a convenient target.
Every work situation has its challenges, regardless of the broader context of the environment. You find "I'm always right" people everywhere, drama kings and queens anywhere, loafers, opportunists, cads, climbers, petulant, persuasive, manipulative; they are all as likely to,exist at Intel as they are at IBLP.
It is good to hear of the cases where things worked out well (I mean that sincerely). You worked in the IT department, am I understanding you correctly that it set you up well for IT jobs today? If so, kudos to them and to you both. I am a software developer (my bachelors degree is computer science) and have an appreciation for the complex and fast-moving world of technology. You refer to Intel - do you work for Intel?
Interesting how you fault Wendy and make assumptions about her motives based on the fact that your experience was different. You don't have to slap anyone else down to validate your own story - it stands on its own, brother.
Matthew, fwiw, RG has asked for people's stories, related to their experiences at HQ / training centers. I'd encourage you to write your story up and submit it, if that sounds interesting to you. Each person's story matters.
I wonder if part of the difference has to do with your being male and the author being female. Some of the things she mentions that she was taught that didn't transfer well to the business world, like always smiling and being sweet and always being submissive to authority, seem like traits that are often stressed more for girls than guys.
You should have quit while you were ahead, Matthew. I was with you in the first paragraph, where you say that the difference between your experience and mine may have had much to do with your being at HQ ten years after me, and serving in a different department, and so on. I was cool with the other differences listed in your succeeding paragraphs. And I'm glad that you feel that your experience in ATI's Information Technology department was not a hindrance when you sought employment in the secular world.
HOWEVER, you almost lost me at "my managers were mature and capable..." and you completely lost me when you said, "Based on the information she has provided in this article alone, it seems to me there is a chance [Wendy] regrets some past choices and may be simply pointing blame at a convenient target."
First, the comment regarding mature managers makes me wonder if you even read this article all the way through. My managers were not my problem. It was the general atmosphere and the "principles" being inculcated as good business practise that were problematic --- as I enumerated in the bulleted lists.
Second, while I regret the negative impact the IBLP's false teachings and faulty business model had on my career, I do NOT regret the choice to go to HQ, and I fail to see what in my article might have led you to think that might be the case. Based on the information that my family and I had at the time, it was a good choice, and a reasonable one. To regret it because some of the outcomes were less than ideal would be foolish.
Third, I would point out that at least one male and three female commenters have agreed with some of the points that I have made. Thus, my thoughts surely cannot be as much a matter of "pointing blame at a convenient target" in order to ease the pain of regrets as you suggest.
Finally, I want to point out that you, being male, would have had a completely different experience in all aspects of the IBLP ministry than I would, being female. Women are, in all respects, granted far fewer freedoms in the IBLP world than men are. And if you failed to notice that, then you weren't paying very close attention.
Regarding managers, perhaps it is due to my lack of familiarity with the editing trade, but you noted a primary problem of your experience and one you note directly affected your business experience was your senior editor. I assumed their role was somewhat of a manager to you. Forgive me if that is inaccurate, but that is where my comparison regarding the positive nature of my own managers there was meant to meet your story.
Regarding everything else, I specifically spent a great deal of time qualifying what I said with softeners ensuring that I was not, in any way, pretending to have any sort of omniscient knowledge regarding her condition. I took what was written, applied my own observations, made it clear that I was not attempting to pretend I knew the truth, and supplied comparative experience of my own.
The point of discussion is to explore as many possibilities as we can conceive together in hopes of determining, better than any one of us is able, what the truth may be. That was, and is, my sole intention. Hopefully here at RG it can be done better than other sites many of us IBLPers are probably familiar with.
Hi, Matthew!
Well, you're now getting to interact with 2 former IBLP Editors. Pleased to meet you! I read Wendy's article before you commented, and it jolted my thinking so much that, a couple of months later, I came back to see if there were any comments of interest.
I do appreciate your attempts to temper your remarks, and I'm very glad you had such a positive experience at HQ. I have many treasured memories of my time there myself and many dear friends, even some who are still there.
And, as an aside, the part about the approved churches may have started changing while I was there. At least, it was 2 Stephanies who started going to non-approved churches, and by the time I left, the IBLP vans were no longer taking students to the former approved churches, but to at least one of the newly discovered churches, discovered by students. It would be interesting to know when the shift completely away from approved churches happened. When I was there, even an approved driver couldn't rent a vehicle on a Sunday morning if it was to go to an unapproved church.
While I understand Wendy's perspective on the conflicts with the senior editor at the time, I also agree with her that this person was and is mature and capable. That doesn't preclude disagreements on style, and in general, editors are very opinionated when it comes to right and wrong in writing and style. I know I am.
Unlike Wendy, I was much younger, and more impressionable when I arrived at HQ. This had its advantages and disadvantages. I bent and pretty much changed who I was in order to fit the mold, and I eventually became senior editor myself.
While I know I received valuable training and gained marketable skills during my time in the Editorial Department, when I left HQ, I left that profession behind for good. I loved editing, I was good at it, and it has always been the job that fit me most, of all that I've ever had. I've even had a linguist tell me I have an extremely rare skill of being able to find mistakes in languages I don't even know.
By the time I left HQ, I was 23, I had aged, and I was having post-traumatic stress disorder, often known as battle syndrome experienced by former soldiers. Our was the only department of all women, and we worked more hours than almost any other department. Other than that, yes, women and men have a very different experience at HQ.
Years later I interviewed for an editorial job in Atlanta. Once they got past the fact that I had no degree and no résumé, they were floored by the skills I had and interested in me, while admitting I was overqualified for the job. But I went through significant PTSD even in forcing myself to go through with the interview.
No, unlike Wendy, I never went back to editing. But I carried many of the work habits I perfected at HQ into my succeeding jobs.
For me, Wendy's article struck some significant chords. While my experience was not the same as hers, we know the same people, worked on the same floor, and definitely shared the same environment. In the years since, my non-IBLP co-workers and bosses have made some of the exact same comments to me that she described, and I have reacted in similar ways. I actually sat down after reading her article, wrote my current boss, copied a link to the article, and we ended up having a significant discussion because of it.
I deeply appreciate her having thought these things through and written about it. It may not help you, but it has helped me by bringing to light yet more things I need to process in order to heal and grow.
As I have treasured the memories of the good times at HQ, and worked through the PTSD and health issues that came with it, I find it's the mindset I came away with that is the most subtle and lasting stronghold that needs to be challenged if I'm to be a better team player in my current work environment.
Thank you, Wendy!