Listening to a CD of praise and worship songs as I worked in my kitchen one morning, I found my heart rejoicing in Jesus and my body dancing in joy and worship to Him. The CD I was listening to was an old one that a friend recently gave me with popular worship songs from the 80s and 90s. Singing and dancing in joy to the Lord, I was transported back in my memory to when I was eight years old, listening to a children’s worship tape on my little cassette player and dancing in abandon on top of our picnic table in the back yard.
As I think back to that childhood memory, my heart is also filled with sadness. I remember that around the time when I had that cassette tape is also when my family joined the Advanced Training Institute (ATI). Although my parents allowed me to have that tape, I soon learned that some of the music on it was “wrong” and that dancing was also “wrong.” I lost the child-like innocence and abandon of worshiping the Lord with all my heart, soul, and body and got rid of that cassette tape of my own accord.
That was the beginning of a long journey of seeking “right” in my worship. No longer was my heart focused on worshiping Him in joyous abandon, but on worshiping Him in righteousness. I remember visiting other churches where my family and I would get up and walk out because of the music. These music standards were deeply ingrained in my heart. I had listened to and read all the materials available on why a back-beat, certain vocal styles, or a dominant drum beat was wrong.
Fast forward a few years, and I find myself visiting another church one morning with other ladies from an Institute in Basic Life Principles (IBLP) training center. A guest musician was singing that morning, and as he began the music and singing my heart was grieved thinking how sad God must be with this evil beat in His church. “How sad that people did not know how to worship God in the beauty of His holiness!” With a grieved and sad heart, I felt I couldn’t continue to sit there, so I quietly slipped out and waited outside praying till the song was over. As I left, one or two other women from the training center also followed me. Looking back in remembrance at that time, I am grieved at my actions and the deception I lived under. I am saddened that I could not sit and worship with this musician. I hope he did not guess the reason why I slipped out that morning, and I hope he was not offended by my actions.
Later on, I was given the responsibility of teaching the IBLP principles of dance, music, and modest dress at the training center where I worked. I remember wanting to teach these classes and being thrilled at the opportunity to teach these standards, especially since I noticed that the other leadership staff didn’t fully agree with them. I fully believed what was taught in the IBLP material about each of these topics, and I was able to teach from my heart. I think of the many women who sat under my teaching with regret, and I hope and pray that those I taught are free from those false beliefs. If you were one of those that I taught at the training center, I’m so sorry for how I impacted you with those wrong teachings!
Even in the midst of the training center life, God began slowly and gently to work in my heart. In the latter years of my working at a training center, one of the local churches that some of the leaders attended sometimes played music with a back-beat. By this time, I was not walking out in the middle of the music, but remaining quietly in my place. I remember distinctly during one of the songs, watching one of the leaders from the training center with her hands raised and a glow of holy worship on her face. God spoke to my heart, showing me that I could choose to worship Him in my heart regardless of the music style. For me, that was a revolutionary thought!
A year or so later, when I attended training in preparation for ministry overseas, one of the classes was on music. The teacher, who had many years of cross-cultural ministry behind her, shared how different musical sounds have different meanings in different cultures. Music is not moral, but rather speaks what meaning the culture puts on it. At the time, I found her viewpoint interesting, but I didn’t agree.
Later, when I found myself serving cross-culturally, I fully accepted the music in the churches where I was working. When my mother heard some of the music and asked me if it had a bad beat I simply responded, “No, it’s not the bad beat, it’s just that culture’s beat.” Still though, when I attended the international church overseas and heard the latest American praise and worship songs I wondered, “Are they really ‘right’? Is this music okay?” An article last summer on Recovering Grace really helped as I struggled through and began re-evaluating all I had been taught about music. It has been a slow and gradual process, and how thankful I am for God’s gentleness and patience leading me through it!
Once again I can worship God with the abandon and joy that I had as that little eight-year-old girl dancing on my picnic table. What joy and gratefulness fills my heart as I see how God has brought me full circle! Just a couple of weeks ago, I volunteered to help with the music occasionally at the international church I attend. I had considered volunteering a few years ago, but my conscience wouldn’t allow me to participate in the music at that time. What joy that I can now be involved freely and in good conscience in the music ministry in this church. I pray that your heart, too, will be filled with rejoicing and abandon in worshiping God with lots of kinds of music and dancing!
“Hope” grew up in a family that was strongly influenced by IBLP teachings even before joining ATIA, which happened when Hope was in elementary school. She was involved in ATIA for 20 years, eight of which were spent volunteering at various training centers. Hope currently works overseas in full-time ministry. Her vision is to see emotional and spiritual healing brought to those who are without hope.
July 31, 2024
Thank you very much for this article! I could definitely relate to this. I was in ATI while in my younger years in Highschool and I was often-times plagued with guilt about the kind of music that I listened to..more concerned with the 'rightness' of the music rather than on glorifying God in spirit and in truth. You are right...I now feel very liberated as I come to a better understanding of grace..especially as I worship with others from other cultures and see the great diversity in worship styles--among various people groups who truly love the Lord!
Thank you for your wonderfully honest article. As a past ATI mom, I had my daughters burn their "bad" worship music. Since then,I have learned (and really always knew) that worship comes from the freedom of the heart and not from "right" music. I live with the regret of my insistence to join ATI in order to perfect our family for God, but I also live with the knowledge that His grace provides freedom in all matters. Thank you so much again.
What a beautiful article. Thank you for sharing.
I had a similar experience. I remember walking out of churches and musical events because of the beat. I remember feeling physically ill when exposed to "bad" music. Now I see that I made myself sick because I was afraid of what listening to the music would do to me (as well as the scene i was making because I "had" to leave). God has been so gracious in gently showing me the many things I avoided out of fear. I gave them power because of what I had been taught. It reminds me of the OT and how it consistently taught that idols were junk. Not these extra powerful things, just junk. And yet, how much power we bestow upon them.
Thanks for writing, and being sensitive to God's nudging for growth. He is truly long-suffering and lavish with His love!
I sincerely believe this is at the core of the problem in this system--that people would dare to come between another person and personal relationship with God. There is nothing so sweet an communion with Jesus Christ. There is specifically one mediator between God and man--Christ Jesus. Jesus gives us the instructor of the Holy Spirit to guide us into all truth.
The law possesses no means of deliverance from sin--only Christ can actually give a new heart changing the nature of sinful man. Worship of Jesus Christ for His provision is what Cain failed to do and at which Able succeeded.
Music is merely yet another platform on which to sell the snake oil of the gospel of self-effort. The hope of self-powered climb always fails just as the tower of Babal failed--God destroys our efforts and calls to us, "Come unto me, all that are heavey laden, and I will GIVE YOU rest." When we experience this call of God personally, He gives us power to leave everything else behind and follow Him in faith. This is the only way to please God. God is not scared of music or beat.
Well, my above comment might be an over-simplification to say this is "the core of the problem in this system." There are many very serious issues in the system, and this is one of them. Let me restate it like this:
This country was founded for the purpose that each would be free to worship God as he/she saw fit. This freedom was not only inhibited but crushed in many ways by the dictates of the "authority structure" of the ATI system which I consider akin to the state-controlled religions in Europe during the early 1600s. ATI became a system out of control.
The call is this: It's not about ATI, principles, or the system. Stand aside and let God's people worship Him. The glory of God is Immanuel--God with us reconciling us back to Himself. The LORD rebuke you for you have deigned to touch His glory.
I love these two comments, Samuel.
Music is merely yet another platform on which to sell the snake oil of the gospel of self-effort. The hope of self-powered climb always fails just as the tower of Babal failed–God destroys our efforts and calls to us, “Come unto me, all that are heavey laden, and I will GIVE YOU rest.”
and
This country was founded for the purpose that each would be free to worship God as he/she saw fit. This freedom was not only inhibited but crushed in many ways...
well said!
Thanks for sharing this, "Hope"!
Excellent article! :) Thanks!
My heart is sad for the little girl dancing with joy until she was taught that such abandonment in worship is "sinful." I grew up being taught and believing that music with a beat was sinful. It's only within the last few years (I was over 35 years old) that I realized that I was free in Christ to listen to praise and worship music or to lift my hands while singing. My mother likes to criticize CCM as not being "God-honoring music" but the only way we know what honors God is to read His Word and according to Ps. 150 we can praise Him with the dance! God is bigger than the little box my church and Christian college tried to put Him in. Now I want to be like David, dancing joyfully before the Lord celebrating the joy of my salvation, instead of with Michal, sitting scornfully apart, judging and condemning.
God created music as something good. It can though be used as evil. It is okay to say that many varieties of music are fine but to say anything goes in music is definitely dangerous doctrine. Different styles of music produce different results in our bodies. You cannot put Christian words to any type of music and say it meets God's approval. Dancing is fine but if the style and music lead to lust, then you are headed for trouble. So enjoy varieties of music but be careful that it is not seductive or it will lead to pain and sorrow.
John, how firm a person's foundation is determines whether or not they lust. Music doesn't stir up lust in me. Ever. Music does inform me of what others separated from Christ Jesus are thinking and feeling. It speaks of their diversions, diversions that help them cope with the state they are in. It can be a window to those without Christ. Do we see their pain? Do we see their attempts to escape their despair. Music is a message by a person who is made in the image of our Creator that desires to create. They are creating their vision of existence. We do not have to embrace their vision, but we do have to understand it is how they see their being in relationship to the rest of creation.
We have a mission field that is crying out. Do we hear them? Do we have an answer to their pain? Can we listen and not make it about us?
Listening to most of rock music isn't about rebellion and sin. It should be about hearing our mission fields sorrow.
Roger Clyne and the Peacemakers lyrics
I feel the rain drops
From the storm down in Mexico
Truck will go no further
Out of gas
I walk through desert
Past a lizard and a rattlesnake
I tip the bottle and bite the lime
There ain’t no moral to this story at all
Anything I tell you
Very well could be a lie
There ain’t no morals to these stories at all
Everything I tell you
You can bet will be a lie
Been away from the livin'
Don't need to be forgiven
I'm just waiting for that coal black sun-cracked numb inside soul of mine
To come alive
Come alive
John, they long to be alive. They know they are dead inside. Listen to their cry.
John: hope your experience of the risen LORD is helped by your RG conversations. It's one thing to make an argument for lyrics that honor God, or that do not take our mind where we don't want it to know. It's another to assume that any particular kind of beat takes us to the wrong kind of passion.
How would you, Bill G., or anyone know where the electric guitars of third day take me ?? How would you know, and know with the kind of certainty that you could teach a music doctrine out of it ??
If I wanted to settle the question "does Bill wander into areas and make statements he has no business making..?" to a fair minded observer, I'd start with this evil beat thing. Unbelievable.
It was a rendition of Mary Poppins "Let's go Fly a Kite" that God used to move me to tears and spoke to my heart about grace and the limitless nature of His relationship with me....silly, isn't it.
Not silly at all. In fact quite beautiful. You found the freedom to celebrate and rejoice in those simple words.
I totally agree. Music goes with environment. You will not have a marching band playing a fiddle, banjo, and guitar just like you won't have trumpets and trombones and tubas at a barn dance. In the same way certain styles of music that are places of ill repute and bringing them into the church does not make them sanctified. A saxophone is a beautiful sounding instrument but it can be played in way that is suggestive and seductive.
Around the same time Gothard's diatribe against rock music came out, someone in our church related his college experience at a music school - drunken reveling to compositions by Mozart, Bach and Beethoven. His point was that the music doesn't drive bad behavior. Lust does. Though it's popular to say that music produces emotions, there have been multiple studies trying to confirm that and they all day the same thing - no demonstrable effect.
Just a note for this author and many of the commenters - with not just music, God does illustrate that there IS a right and a wrong way to worship Him. We cannot just express ourselves in anyway we want to and call it worship. Please read Leviticus chapter 10. In that case, the Lord took the lives of Aaron's sons due to their improper worship.