"The enemy of our souls has a strong, powerful weapon. It’s called darkness. As long as we believe that our world will fall apart and everyone will holler at us if they knew our scary story, we remain chained to that darkness.

We forget this tiny little, important verse in John 1:5: “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it.” Satan knows that if he can keep you in your head, tormented by the past and the memories and especially the shame, you won’t ever find freedom. But the MOMENT you choose to share, you bring your story into the light and the darkness has no more power over you." --Mary DeMuth

April is national Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Last year Recovering Grace dedicated the month of April to bringing these stories of darkness into the light, and we are doing so again this year.

Why do we choose to focus our attention on this emotionally disturbing, heart-wrenching subject? It takes only a glance at today’s news stories to realize how prevalent sexual abuse is in our culture. This abuse can occur in many different forms, including verbally, visually, and physically. In the United States alone, one in four girls and one in six boys will be sexually abused before they reach the age of eighteen. One in five women has been the victim of an attempted or completed rape. This is not a problem that is “out there” in the world. Tragically, the statistics coming from Christian environments are no different than those from secular environments. This is a problem that affects us all. Statistically, if we have not personally been a victim of sexual abuse, we will encounter many people who have been, even if they choose not to reveal this fact in our conversations. But if they do choose to bravely speak up and bare their souls to us, how will we respond?

The truth is that Christian communities, organizations, and churches often have no idea how to deal with sexual harassment* or sexual abuse.* Boz Tchividjian, the grandson of Billy Graham and founder of the organization GRACE [Godly Response to Abuse in the Christian Environment], says, “Silence is one of the most common failures of the Christian community in preventing child abuse. In 2 Samuel 13, upon learning that his sister Tamar had been raped by her brother Amnon, Absalom stated, Keep silent my sister, he is your brother, do not take this matter to heart. Tragically, not much has changed in over three thousand years. Too many within the Christian community respond to the prevalence of child abuse with a dangerous and very hurtful silence. A silence that is too often preferred over acknowledging the existence of such evil within our midst.”

We continue to receive many stories here at Recovering Grace of abuse that happened within ATI families as well as sexual harassment at Headquarters. Over and over, this fact was clearly made known to Mr. Gothard and the leadership within IBLP/ATI, but it was ignored, covered up, or inappropriately handled “in-house.” In all the stories that have come to our attention, not one time was this abuse known to be reported to the proper government authorities. This is extremely disturbing, especially considering Mr. Gothard’s strong teachings on authority and how we should be in obedience to the laws of our governing authorities.

Dr. Diane Langberg, a Christian Psychologist who specializes in abuse, says, “Sexual abuse of a minor, sexual assault, and rape are illegal. They are felonies in all fifty states. There are authorities and professionals trained to handle such things. When Christian organizations think they are wise enough, discerning enough, knowledgeable enough or skilled enough to manage such complicated issues in-house they are disobeying the law of the land, further hurting the victims, colluding with the perpetrators, and arrogant. They are also giving credence to the perpetrator who said that church people are easy to fool. Many tend to think they should first determine the truth of the accusation. Christian organizations are not trained to determine such things. It is outside their purview and needs to be done by trained law enforcement, lawyers and trained mental health professionals.” (from “Sexual Abuse within Christian Organizations”)

Let us be clear about this: Silencing the abused will never ultimately protect anyone — especially a Christian community, church, or ministry that claims to represent Jesus to the world. Keeping silent will only contribute to a ministry’s destruction and, more importantly, to the destruction of those precious, abused souls whom Jesus died to save. Jesus gave both a warning and a promise when He said, “For all that is secret will eventually be brought into the open, and everything that is concealed will be brought to light and made known to all” (Luke 8:17). And yet many people still feel a need to protect a family system, church, or organization while silencing the voice of a hurting individual in order to “protect the Lord’s reputation.”

But to silence abuse goes against the very nature of who Jesus is — the Great Shepherd of his sheep, the One who left the 99 sheep behind to rescue the one that was lost, frightened, and very much alone. Are we truly protecting His reputation when we silence abuse? Or are we merely protecting our own? Jesus takes the abuse and mishandling of his sheep very personally, and He will hold those who shepherd in His name responsible for any evil that is either perpetrated or covered up in His name:

“As surely as I live, says the Sovereign Lord, you abandoned my flock and left them to be attacked by every wild animal. And though you were my shepherds, you didn’t search for my sheep when they were lost. You took care of yourselves and left the sheep to starve. Therefore, you shepherds, hear the word of the Lord. This is what the Sovereign Lord says: I now consider these shepherds my enemies, and I will hold them responsible for what has happened to my flock. I will take away their right to feed the flock, and I will stop them from feeding themselves. I will rescue my flock from their mouths; the sheep will no longer be their prey….I myself will tend my sheep and give them a place to lie down in peace, says the Sovereign Lord. I will search for my lost ones who strayed away, and I will bring them safely home again. I will bandage the injured and strengthen the weak. But I will destroy those who are fat and powerful. I will feed them, yes—feed them justice!…. So I will rescue my flock, and they will no longer be abused…” (Ezekiel 34:8-10, 15-16, 22a NLT)

Why do we at Recovering Grace care about those who have been abused and then silenced in the name of Jesus? Because Jesus deeply cares. He knows what it is like to be harassed, betrayed, beaten, and abandoned in God’s name. He is the fulfillment of Isaiah 61. He came to bring freedom for the captives, the downtrodden, and the oppressed, to comfort the brokenhearted and release the prisoners from darkness. He gave his life so that we could have beauty in exchange for ashes, and joy instead of mourning. He is a Shepherd who loves his flock, and He will do anything — even lay down His life — for his beloved hurting sheep.

Why do we care about bringing light into the darkness?

Because Jesus does.

“The people who walk in darkness
will see a great light.
For those who live in a land of deep darkness,
a light will shine.”  –Is. 9:2

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*The dictionary defines Sexual Harassment as: “unwelcome sexual advances made by an employer or superior, especially when compliance is made a condition of continued employment or advancement; unwanted sexual approaches (including touching, feeling, groping) and/or repeated unpleasant, degrading and/or sexist remarks directed toward an employee with the implied suggestion that the target’s employment status, promotion or favorable treatment depend upon a positive response and/or ‘cooperation’.”

*Sexual Assault: “Conduct of a sexual or indecent nature toward another person that is accompanied by actual or threatened physical force or that induces fear, shame, or mental suffering.”

–The terms Sexual Assault and Sexual Abuse are often used interchangeably.

–There are many excellent resources available for churches and organizations to develop a response plan for handling sexual abuse, such as this sample plan found here and these tips found here.