15 Comments

1. 

   Chris Symonds July 8, 2013 Reply

   This touched my heart deeply tank you for sharing this

2. 

   Ruth July 8, 2013 Reply

   I certainly understand what you mean. I went through exactly that for a number of years. Thanks for sharing.

3. 

   esbee July 8, 2013 Reply

   Your writing is very poetic and fosters thought. I like what you wrote because a lot of that same questioning swirls in my brain, also.

4. 

   Lottie Shaw July 8, 2013 Reply

   Thank you sooooooo much for sharing this. I feel like I am listening to myself speaking when I read this article. I feel like my brain is in one big jumble and I can't find the light at the end of the tunnel. It is the biggest relief to know that there are others out there like me.

5. 

   Sarah July 9, 2013 Reply

   I totally can relate....

6. 

   Ellen July 9, 2013 Reply

   I find myself being cheerful, laughing, joking...Living life joyfully because of God's grace...
   and still, somewhere, deep down inside of me is that smidge of questioning "Who is this girl? Why isn't she serious? Why does she dare think that she might be pretty? That someone would love her? Who does she think she is?"
   
   Who is the real me?

7. 

   Brenda July 10, 2013 Reply

   Wow. I could have written this myself. I'm right there in the middle if it all. Trying to find myself and trying to figure out how to parent my children without stifling their true selves. I've even started a blog in hopes of writing my way through it might bring some sense of direction.

8. 

   Chris Symonds July 10, 2013 Reply

   One thing that comes to mind in this is my training in Welfare Work and Counseling. Finding the real me!
   
   During undertaking my degree we did a lot of soul searching about our strengths and weaknesses, or knowing thyself!
   
   One thing that stood out to me while studying was that we can do one of two things when we try to discover ourselves; we either end up with an exaggerated view of ourselves and our abilities or we end up not liking ourselves very much. I ended up in the second category.
   
   To the non christian self discovery can be an exercise in ego boosting. For me self discovery was more about knowing who I was in Christ. Knowing who I am in Christ from a biblical perspective means I must become less and Christ more. It isn't about what I do it is about what Christ has done for me. It is about Christ's ability not my inability. It is knowing He is perfect and has made full and perfect satisfaction ( propitiation and justification) for my sin. This is the key ingredient missing from ATI/IBLP
   
   Not being an adherent of ATI/IBLP I have only come in contact with the twisted teachings of Bill Gothard through those I love. The thing I have noted most of all is the lack of true love and grace taught in the person of Christ by Gothard's system. Even though it is mentioned it is not practiced. This is often true in other para church movements as well only sin is often minimized and self is elevated. I found Ron Henzel's introduction to Bill Gothard very helpful in identifying the key problems with his teachings. I know most of you are most likel;y aware of his webiste but I placed the link here jsut in case you don't know of it. http://ronhenzel.tripod.com/GothardZone/08-BG2BG/index.html

   • 

     Sad July 19, 2013 Reply

     Chris, thanks for posting that link. I had not yet seen that website and it was pretty interesting, very educational.

     • 

       Chris Symonds July 24, 2013 Reply

       You're welcome Sad

9. 

   Heidi July 18, 2013 Reply

   I went on a dating site for awhile. E-harmony with 500 questions, literally. The hard part was that I had no idea what the answer was to a lot of those questions. I tried to be truthful but I truly did not know myself. It has taken years. Maybe I will try again someday. I think I know myself now, but maybe not.
   
   Yes to that whole article and thank you for writing.
   
   (raised in ATI)

   • 

     Chris Symonds July 19, 2013 Reply

     I tried some of those dating sites once all I got were scam artists! Maybe Bill G. should advertise on them or proselytize for his admin girls!!! :)

10. 

    free July 18, 2013 Reply

    I am where you are and I'm 61! I just left an physically violent and emotionally abusive 40-year marriage based on Gothard's teachings, and I feel like the rug has been swept out from under me. I'm re-evaluating everything. . . EXCEPT my faith in my God Who kept me alive and enabled me to continually choose joy and forgiveness.
    
    God is walking this journey with you saying, "Be not afraid. I am holding your hand."

11. 

    David July 23, 2013 Reply

    I can fully empathize with your hurts and needs. But the answer here is not to find the real you. That search makes things worse, not better. The only answer is to find the real Jesus. I'm not trying to be clever. The real us is not someone we want to find -- Paul wrote that unless Christ is in us we are reprobate. But the good news is that we can ask God to reveal Christ in us, and if that begins to happen, we won't be saddled with the need to find the real us. Paul said, "I have suffered the loss of all things that I might win Christ and be found in Him." That is identity -- all of us were meant to find our home in Him. He is the Truth which sets us free.

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      Chris Symonds July 24, 2013 Reply

      thank you David that was what I was trying to say :)