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EDITOR’S NOTE: This article was originally published on March 11, 2013.
A recent article on Recovering Grace, entitled “Moving On,” prompted me to think about the reason it is so difficult to move forward after being victimized by legalism. As I have worked with those hurt by legalism over the years, I have often heard stories about what happened five, ten, maybe thirty years ago. These folks still struggle against the lies they were told and the anger they continue to feel toward those who misused them. I have come to the conclusion that a great deal of the difficulty of moving on has to do with the treasures that were stolen.
Each of the following could be an article in itself, but let me just introduce the problems legalism created by stealing these treasures. You may think of more precious things that were stolen, but these are the ones that have come up most often as I have communicated with victims.
The character of God. Legalism presents an angry and vengeful God who wants to see us fail and then will punish us when we do. He rejects us when we sin and puts us into situations to test our faithfulness. He even punishes us for the things our great-grandparents did. But this is not the God of the Bible. Yes, I know the Bible speaks of the wrath against sin, but the message of love—forgotten by the Legalist—is the primary message of Scripture. God loves us and draws us by love. When the love of God is set aside and His anger becomes the focus, where do we go when we are afraid? The Lord may be a strong tower for His people, but the victims of legalism can’t run to Him and feel safe because they think He is angry with them. I have often asked parents this: “When your children sin, and they will, do you want them to run to God or away from God?” The character of the God you introduce is important. Stealing away the love of God and substituting an angry or vindictive spirit is damaging.
The message of the Bible. So many times people have told me that they simply cannot read the Bible anymore because all they see in it is condemnation. The message of love and peace the Bible brings was stolen from them and replaced by a system that almost always forced them to see shame in its pages. Not only was the Bible blamed for bringing the challenges of the legalistic lifestyle, it was a constant killjoy. “Because the Bible says,” was the refrain that supported every legalistic action, no matter how cruel. But the Bible tells us of the love of God. It was given to proclaim the message of His heart toward us—which is very good. Stealing the real message of the Bible is a great sin against both the believer and the seeker.
The new heart of the believer. How many times did we hear, “The heart is deceitful and desperately wicked”? Victims of legalism are told never to trust their hearts, which meant never to trust their own judgment. Sadly that meant that they were only to trust the judgment of those above them, which opened them to all kinds of abuse. How can anyone go through life successfully and joyfully without the ability to trust their hearts? I remember, when I first understood the great error of this, asking why we should delight in the Lord. The Scripture says that if we delight in the Lord He will give us the desires of our hearts. But if our hearts were as wicked as we were taught, why would God give us those desires? Of course, we were told that He would change the desires of our hearts to the right thing, but that didn’t really help much. The truth is that the believer has a new heart, one which the Lord uses to communicate with us. When He connects to the new spirit in us, He connects to the new heart (See Ezekiel 11:19). But when legalism stole away our ability to look within and trust our hearts, it took away our opportunity to hear the voice of our Lord.
The love and joy of others. Legalism is a system of condemnation and comparison. It sets us up to put others down. If I can’t ever be good enough, I can at least be better than you. We learned to judge and condemn others, rather than to understand them. We learned to compare ourselves with them, rather than to listen and care. We learned to keep them at a distance just in case, rather than to love them. In legalism, we learned to mistrust God, others, and ourselves. But the Lord gave us each other for good. We learn love from each other and others give us an outlet for our love. Relationships are good. Yes, they can be difficult, but they are meant to teach us about ourselves and how to trust God. The message from the beginning, according to John (1 Jn 3:11) was that we should love one another. But legalism pushes us away from each other.
I have come to believe that those who leave legalism must rediscover these treasures. Some will seek them outside the faith. Others will stumble around trying to find them within different legalistic systems. But they know, in every part of their being, that the treasures are worth seeking.
So let me summarize what I have found.
God loves you. He has never not loved you and He has never stopped loving you. Nothing you have done has changed His love for you. All that He has done, through Jesus, has been because of His love for you.
The Bible consistently tells of this love, if you can look past the old legalist system to see the truth. I have suggested that people read through the book of John just for one purpose–to see the love of God. The message is very clear. From beginning to end, the Bible tells of God’s love.
Those who have come to Jesus have received from Him a new heart. It’s true! The old has passed away and the new has come. If you listen for God’s voice, you will hear words of love and affirmation. Never will He condemn or shame you; that’s another voice. Always He calls with a kind voice of acceptance. And you can trust that He will lead you, through your heart, because of His love.
Others are good for you. Yes, they struggle and stumble through life just like you do. They sin and they hurt people. But you don’t have to trust them in order to enjoy them or even love them. You are called to trust the Lord. He may lead you to people who are very different from you and you will learn from them. We were meant to live in relationship with many people and God expresses His creativity in the styles of their lives. Put away your expectations and let others fail. Then you will begin to see how God loves you even through others.
Whatever time it takes, seek the treasures. They are still yours.
Dr. David Orrison has been a pastor for over 30 years and is now the Executive Director of "Grace for the Heart," a ministry dedicated to proclaiming the sufficiency of Jesus Christ for all aspects of the Christian life. Dave has served in the Evangelical Free Church and in the United Presbyterian Church, and he holds a Ph.D. in Theology from Trinity Seminary. Dave has unique insights into the struggles of what he calls “performance spirituality,” as he has worked extensively with people who are unsure of their relationship with Jesus because of the burden of legalism and the hopelessness of a “works-based Christian walk.” David has lived in Loveland, CO for 25 years and is happily married to Alice. They have eight sons. David blogs on a regular basis at http://graceformyheart.wordpress.com.
Thank you, I understand. I got to the point that reading Psalms or singing hymns made me feel unworthy rather than victorious while in this organization. I still go to church, but I feel that I have "checked out" so as not to feel anything. That's the hard part realizing that I Checked out for many years and feeling guilt for not being that good child of God.
Legalism is really nothing more than behavior modification.
I think it can be easier to fall into legalism than we realize. I grew up in a conservative church that I think got most everything right, but I still struggled with certain things I was taught. For example, the statement that Christians need to read their Bible, pray, and go to church can become, for certain personalities, a negative thing. In my mind, if I wasn't doing those things consistently, I was failing and needed to keep repenting and trying again. At one point I came across a book that stressed how God helps us to please him and that it's not by our own strength, which really helped to get a balance.
the flesh wants to be fed any way it can be - following rules or following lusts. Motives. Heb. 4:12
@grateful - You are so right! A friend of mine says that religious flesh smells just as bad as worldly flesh. "Doing it myself" is the motto of both.
Dr. Orrison, thank you for this article. It is so easy to rob another of joy without even realizing it.
I once taught a Sunday School class in which there were several ATI children in it. It was before they decided to create a "family class" that would fill their family needs better. I looked at the material to be taught and cringed at the list making answers it would re-enforce with the children. I set the material aside and decided to ask the Lord to help me do something different. I remember the first day telling the children "I will never ask you a question whose answer will be God, Jesus, Holy Spirit, Read your Bible, Pray, or Go to Church." They look totally lost. For a whole year we bounced between the Old Testament with Scripture like
Isa 40:12 Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand,
or with the breadth of his hand marked off the heavens?
Who has held the dust of the earth in a basket,
or weighed the mountains on the scales
and the hills in a balance?
13 Who can fathom the Spirit of the Lord,
or instruct the Lord as his counselor?
14 Whom did the Lord consult to enlighten him,
and who taught him the right way?
Who was it that taught him knowledge,
or showed him the path of understanding?
and then New Testament Scripture like
John 6:10Jesus said, “Have the people sit down.” There was plenty of grass in that place, and they sat down (about five thousand men were there).
11Jesus then took the loaves, gave thanks, and distributed to those who were seated as much as they wanted. He did the same with the fish.
12When they had all had enough to eat, he said to his disciples, “Gather the pieces that are left over. Let nothing be wasted.”
13So they gathered them and filled twelve baskets with the pieces of the five barley loaves left over by those who had eaten.
14After the people saw the sign Jesus performed, they began to say, “Surely this is the Prophet who is to come into the world.”
15Jesus, knowing that they intended to come and make him king by force, withdrew again to a mountain by himself.
Then we would discuss "Who is Jesus?" At the end of the year I think they knew lists of things to do "Law" can be a way of distancing people from knowing our Savior. We can give the right answers without touching the real understanding that the One who created us wants us to sup at the table Love Overflowing has prepared. Every Sunday for a year the Lord provided us a celebration. He truly is amazing beyond words.
Once again I wish for a "like" button! Thanks Nancy2
Bad theology kills. As a man and a father of 8 children I've made mistakes which I grieve over. The biggest mistake I every made with my 8 children was joining the ATI organization as a pilot family in 1984. The bigger mistake was allowing 5 of my children to be involved in various training centers of ATI. To have stayed with ATI for 20 years causes me to lament deeply. ATI has allowed a very dangerous person, Bill Gothard, to be alone with young vulnerable children. I ask God's mercy for ATI for not protecting my dear ones and subjecting them to so much inconsistent and dangerous heresy. For years I considered ATI as a Christian cult now I view them as merely a cult.
I recall Bill Gothard encouraging me to fast over my family to see the correct spiritual breakthrough in my life and in the life of those that I loved. I attempted one day fasts weekly with little results. The teaching of Bill Gothard was to extend the fast to get clearer specific insight in God's message to me. I extended to three day fasts and a seven day fast. Bill Gothard spoke of how his greatest direction came from an yearly 40 day fast. I went on a 21 day fast and at the end of that fast I did not have a spiritual breakthrough but a physical breakdown. I had a breakdown in my colon and almost lost my life from septic infiltration. I was rushed to the hospital and had to have a colon resection. It took 2 years to recover and during that time I went from 200 lbs. down to 145 lbs. Recently I was diagnosed with cancer of my left kidney and my Oncologist suggested that the results of my fasting and septic infection in 1999 may have been the seeds of my cancer in 2014. Bad theology does kill. I feel a full refund of 20 years of wasted money, wasted time, and twisted lies that are life damaging to myself and my family need to be justly recompensed.
That is so sad Stevemidkiff. I wonder if anyone ever saw Bill Gothard at the end of a 40 day fast. I expect it was another one of his lies. And how long would it have taken him to recover from that. Even The Lord Jesus had the angels minister to him after that kind of fast. And He never told us to do it either. The damages caused by this man and his cult go way beyond grevious.
I have no idea where I heard it but I remember hearing back in the day that his fasts weren't 24 hour fasts but rather just not eating in the day, only eating in the evening. I honestly have no idea if there is any truth to this or not but I am curious if there is anyone who was closer to him who knows.
Around 12 years old, I recall my pediatrician directing me in passing, yet clearly, that I shouldn't be skipping meals. I was confused about this, wondering how she knew that I didn't eat regularly and appropriately. Duh, she's a doctor! I can see that now, but as a child, I was thinking, "Whaaat?" Now an adult (28), I can appreciate that she was trying to indirectly help me out by letting my mom know that she was concerned about my nutrition and that she had noted it mentally, if not on paper. After that appointment, I often opted out of family fasting periods by sassily citing my doctor, and saying, "Dr. ____ said for me not to skip meals!" Today, I appreciate her being that scape goat for me. For years I wondered why she didn't try to help or pry more, but as I get older, I see that she was trying to help without making things worse. While made to feel less Christian and less committed to God and ATI for not fasting with the rest of the family, at least I got to eat!
I do wonder how many former fasters and victims of abuses have issues with eating disorders. Another study for later on.
If the formula isn't working, just try harder! Isn't that what we were taught? And if you wear yourself out you must not have been doing it right (or there was some sin in your life).
Steve, I am so sorry you went through all of that struggle. I know that the Lord loves you and your family and that He has been with you through all of this. Perhaps not wasted if it led you to the truth of God's love.
"Is this not the fast that I have chosen: To loose the bonds of wickedness, To undo the heavy burdens, To let the oppressed go free, And that you break every yoke? Isaiah 58:6 (NKJV)
Ok, now I want to punch the dude that suggested the RG crowd just wasn't willing to do "the hard things"..... but since that isn't very christian, I'm taking some deep breaths, and remembering I'm damaged goods also... My mom, btw, is a cancer survivor and turns 90 this summer, LORD willing...
@stevemidkiff
I am so very sorry. Heart wrenching.
I've been told by several people familiar with Bills routine that he would fast for a few days and then eat and so on.
I don't think anyone involved in legalism would raise their hand and say yep, that's me. You never know until you're out.
Cherish every day Steve.
Godspeed
Steve,
Well, I understand that Bill will be contacting you soon to make things right. He left his gift on the alter to go and make things right with those he offended. BTW Bill, my phone number is; 847-890-5556 if you'd like to come make things right with me (you fired my fiance when she told you that she loved me and would marry me after working at the seminar) Any of you who expect Bill to contact me or Steve probably have a spelling problem; you need to learn how to spell, "fat chance." As soon as the phone rings, I will apologize for my attitude. Until then, I think it is accurate.
In the meantime, let us thank God for delivering us from evil and celebrate his goodness. Bless you folks at RG and thank you all for submitting these stories. They are helping many recover.
On RG last week, one of BG's followers posted that his son currently works at headquarters and said that BG had just completed a 40 day fast. At age 79? Hmmm.
BG does not have a good track record for honesty. Remember Sonic Bloom? Or the Tornado that Didn't Happen?
I doubt that he really fasts for 40 days every year. That would be very hazardous for anyone's health. But, it sure helps to perpetuate the image of him as a very holy man.
I would like to offer this encouragement: Jesus Christ promised that the Spirit of God would guide us into all the Truth. He never promised that we would not make mistakes of discernment or unbelief along the way. In fact, sometimes God allows those errors so that by the time He shows us the Truth we will have had those things out of our system. The point is this: God is showing many who were deceived the Truth -- the Truth of His grace in His Son, Jesus Christ. Thus, even though it is essential to confess and repent of past unbelief, self-righteousness, and error, God has kept His promise. He has revealed the Truth. That is something to be thankful for and in which to rejoice.
A very timely re-posting of such great truths! Thank you Recovering Grace and Dr. Orrison.
This is so true: "When the love of God is set aside and His anger becomes the focus, where do we go when we are afraid? The Lord may be a strong tower for His people, but the victims of legalism can’t run to Him and feel safe because they think He is angry with them. "
I read the Psalms and I see that the Psalmist was turning to God as a fortress, a rock, a safe and strong tower. That's one of the things that is stolen away by legalism. Tragic.
Such a good article. Thank you for listing some of the treasures that were stolen from us and the truths we need to hear to reassure our hearts.
Healing words in this article.
"The message of love and peace the Bible brings was stolen from them and replaced by a system that almost always forced them to see shame in its pages. Not only was the Bible blamed for bringing the challenges of the legalistic lifestyle, it was a constant killjoy."
YES! I would rather read The Jesus Storybook Bible with my babies than my own Bible, sometimes. I read aloud to them of God's rescue plan and His never-ending love and rarely do I get through a story without crying! The same goes for the DVD series "Buck Denver." I hear this truth about my Lord in easy to understand language and I weep! I cry out of relief and joy that THAT IS MY GOD! That's Who I always hoped and wished He was behind all the legalism I was fed. I weep for joy that God led my husband and I to Him in spite of everything and that He is allowing the truth of the Gospel to permeate our lives and our children's little hearts and minds.
"But when legalism stole away our ability to look within and trust our hearts, it took away our opportunity to hear the voice of our Lord."
Again, YES. We had it crammed down our throats that we were NOT to make decisions based on emotions. How, then, could we make any important decisions at all? My heart was pressed down so much because it was apparently "deceitful and so wicked" and could never be trusted.
But Tim Keller's book (I think it was No Other Gospel) that our Bible study went through last year kept reiterating the passage about God removing our hearts of stone and giving us hearts of flesh. Our hearts are redeemed! Our hearts can be trusted because Christ redeemed them.
SO.MUCH.FREEDOM.
Just one more:
"It sets us up to put others down. If I can’t ever be good enough, I can at least be better than you. We learned to judge and condemn others, rather than to understand them. We learned to compare ourselves with them, rather than to listen and care. We learned to keep them at a distance just in case, rather than to love them."
We, um, didn't really know how to be friends with people unless they were "like-minded." (Meaning brainwashed in the same way, I guess.) We even looked down on our family, our cousins. People who God placed around us to help keep us on track! People who we could have learned from. People who we could have loved and been loved by. It was all in the name of "protection from the world."
Thank You, Jesus, for setting us free to seek Your truth, Your freedom, Your grace. Real grace.
@ Cassidy: Thanks a TON for your involvement on RG. I remember you and looked up to you and your family. It speaks volumes of your sincerity and goodwill that you've chosen to include your voice and identity regarding ATI and IBLP, not to mention BG. All I can say is THANK YOU for that.
@Brumby ~ I'm not sure who you are, but thank you for your encouragement. I'm just really so sorry for propagating so many of the false truths that I was taught to teach in my position with the Children's Institutes and elsewhere. I do wish I could undo a lot and all I can do is pray that the Holy Spirit will fill all of those gaps for those who were affected. I can't un-do or un-teach, but He can. SO overjoyed by that thought!
@Cassidy:
I was a little kid (10) when we joined ATI, so I was in attendance of several of your gigs. I had a really good time, though I hated memorizing stuff - but that's just me to this day. :) I thought if I could just learn the hand motions to everything, I could fake the rest! Haha! :) You were funny and happy, and made my day once by signing my little coloring book (or whatever that booklet was!). I bet that your positive energy (no Gothardism here - that's the flower child in me talking) was your own personality and soul showing through - not ATI teachings or BG's scheme. In short, don't beat yourself up about it. I think we all have some regrets here(anybody???), including myself. I personally didn't receive any shrapnel from attending a CI - all my damage was incurred elsewhere. I hope only the best for you and yours, and others like you who may share the same story/feelings. Peace be with you.
It's hard to be the salt of the world when you're told to stay in the salt shaker...
Cassidy, I can so relate! I've walked with Jesus for 25 years, but have always been plagued by insecurity and hyper-active guilt, never feeling good enough for God or myself or anybody in authority, and feeling like I'm in a mud puddle when I try to explain the gospel to my precious children. Years of sitting in the seminars (my dad got special permission for me to attend when I was 11 or 12), filling out every line in every workbook, absorbing every word BG said in my most formative years, trying to make the formulas work and wondering what I was doing wrong when they didn't-- too many things to go into, but they have formed me and my view of God and my walk with Him. I left ATIA and IBLP long ago, but the teachings have never left me easily! After a few weeks of reading RG and processing that the "gospel" I grew up believing is really just BG's principles with some of Jesus thrown in, some of the confusion that I've experienced for years is clearing. I just want to know Jesus, Himself, the way He meant for His children to know and love and trust Him. I told my husband last week that I have loved reading the Jesus Storybook Bible to my girls because it makes the gospel message so simple to understand-- I've needed that, after all the years of indoctrination. At church on Sunday, we sang "You Overcome-- Ev'ry high thing must come down; ev'ry stronghold shall be broken! You claim the Victor's crown-- You overcome, You overcome!" I pray for all who have been damaged by BG and his indoctrination, that we will be healed and that we can go forward in the newness of life that Jesus came to give us. THAT is the new approach to life that we all need.
Amen! It's so sad to realize how much of my time in church was spent focusing on rules and not on Jesus. I love the Storybook Bible too!
"That the Bible isn’t mainly about me, and what I should be doing. It’s about God and what he has done. That the Bible is most of all a story — the story of how God loves his children and comes to rescue them.
That — in spite of everything, no matter what, whatever it cost him — God won’t ever stop loving his children… with a wonderful, Never Stopping, Never Giving Up, Unbreaking, Always and Forever Love.
That the Bible, in short, is a Story — not a Rule Book — and there is only one Hero in the Story." (Jesus Storybook Bible)
I love this!!
Love and Grace - vs - Condemnation and Intolerance
I believe that God is BALANCED.
He hates sin but loves the person.
"If you live after the flesh, you will die." -vs- "But, if ye, through the Spirit, do mortifying the deeds of the body, ye shall live."
The reason why Jesus died was to satisfy God's law that demands death because of sin. The reason why the Holy Spirit was sent was to make us NEW - so that we no longer satisfy sinful desires.
Being Spiritual, we can find our place in the Kingdom of God and be faithful. We do not serve men. We serve God and help men. Our reward comes from God: eternal life.
Dave,As usual your stories hit a very deep inner spot,seems to heal so slowly.So good to hear about grace.Grace has its relationships with such entities as evil,subconscious voices,rejection,and ultimate truth.Grace enables my being to have eloquence beyond the superficial,that we may neither exploit or be exploited,but sense in the lordship of Jesus,not an attainment to strive for,but a calling that has already been attained.
Having grown up in ATI and only recently been freed from the destructiveness of this legalistic theology I heartily agree with the points you've observed. It is VERY difficult to break yourself free from the destructive concepts of God, the world and yourself that you've been taught from childhood.
Added to this psychological torture is the additional burden of continuing condemnation and shunning from family who are still deeply entrenched in this mindset...My family will not communicate with me except to tell me that they're praying for me to repent (my "sin" is that I married a wonderful, christian, non-ATI man without going through "courtship". My family did not attend our wedding and continues to reject our marriage)...I do not know if/when my family will ever accept us.
I go through days of blaming myself, questioning whether I did the right thing by going "out from under authority" to marry the love of my life, and sometimes doubting the realities I have come to know and experience about the love of God. Believe me it takes a great deal of patience with oneself to allow room to change and sometimes the scars will never completely go away. But God is SO faithful!
Thank you for patiently ministering and encouraging me and so many others who are seeking healing through your bold proclamation of truth!
Yvonne...wow! wow. I'm really sorry. I've seen this type of thing before. The thinking is SO black and white that if you veer in the slightest you must be all black and are dangerous. It makes me angry to see this type of thing.
I'm curious if its both your mom and dad that feel equally about you and your choices or if one of them kind of rules the other? The ATI families I've seen are mostly male dominated with voiceless women but I've also seen it the other way too.
Praying for you. Don't believe for a second that you are in the wrong. The only way you could have stayed inside their love and acceptance would have been to keep the "whole law" of BG and the price tag is way too high for that...your personhood, your soul, your freedom, and your life.
Live free or Die Hard is my motto. God's strength and grace to you.
Paul VA
Paul VA,
Thanks for your prayers and thoughts...
I know what you mean about one parent ruling the other. In my family, my mom is the dominant one although she would not admit it. My dad tries to be the mediator and has been open to more communication with my husband and I but my mom refuses to even speak to us when we've seen her in person at social functions.
The Lord has been so gracious and merciful in giving me the most wonderful second family (in-laws) I could have ever wanted! They continually shower me with love and are so sweet. The amazing thing is that the Lord led them out of ATI many years ago and their transformation and freedom gives me hope for my parents. I am truly blest and grateful for all that the Lord has done and will do in my life! :)
After I left ATI, I married a man that was also non-ATI. My parents didn't approve of my marriage either, and even tried to end our engagement. However once married, the overt rejection stopped and they don't speak of their grievance over our marriage now. I am so sorry that you've been exiled from your family of origin. While one can learn to cope with that, the loss is difficult to accept. I hope, in time, they will lighten up, in laymen's terms.
We are smack-dab in the middle of all "this."
God brought us to RG on February 3, 2014.
A few days of reading, and I got up in the middle of the night and just puked.(Sorry, but that's what I did.) Now I thankfully sleep through the night, but wake up every morning having to convince myself that this is real--not just a bad dream.
We are very sad. The problem is unbelievably horrendous, and...'there'. And obviously not going away.
It seems the problem will not go away--without our acknowledgement of the problem. We must join RG in requiring BG to acknowledge his wrong doing. And require justice.
It is uncomfortable. It will require many changes. Much sacrifice. This is hardship we must endure.
We must take a stand for Truth. We must courageously be a voice for the abused. There's no other way to be a follower of Christ. Without this acknowledgment, our Heavenly Father's name is shamed.
Singular authorities have exercised and enjoyed too much power. Legalism has resulted. And Fear. Immobilizing fear. We must join you in trusting God to go before us. We must join you in enduring hardship for the oppressed and the afflicted.
We pray that God will continue to use RG to align us all to 'do justly, love mercy, walk humbly with our God.' That He does 'require' of us.
"The fear of man brings a snare. But those who trust in the LORD will be safe.~Proverbs 29:25
Please pray for us.
Betty
Betty, thank you for honestly sharing your struggle and recent pain. You are amoung thousands upon thousands who are struggling right now. I pray that God will give you His true and unearned grace to deal with this pain. It took me almost twenty-five years after "leaving" the Bill Gothard system before I truely saw Gods grace for what it really is. Which is: Unmerited love and favor from a God who loves me and a God who will never love me more than He does at this moment, no matter what I do to try to live a righteous life.
Jon Owens
A former ATIA student
Some have questioned my use of the term "legalism" as I have applied it in this post. It is not my desire to offend anyone or to disparage anyone, but to be theologically accurate. To make this clear, I have posted an article on my blog that explains my perspective. (Please forgive the shameless plug.)
http://graceformyheart.wordpress.com/2014/03/11/is-it-legalism/
One thing I am experiencing, personally, is the definition of love. Because of this , I'm struggling to believe God loves me. If one learns to believe a false definition , then all one wants to do is run from God. Yet as a Christian there's no one else to run to just as the article says. For instance, if a person , especially, a child is raped or experiences some kind of sexual abuse, but then is told it was done out of love, and worse, that God approves, then what definition of love does the child receive? It's one of violence , or pain, or selfishness, etc. Now tell the child God loves them. See? The same thing can happen to those in church where love is expressed thru all kinds of abuse. These persons need to learn a new , truthful definition of love before they can experience it. I know, because I'm in that process and it's a terrible thing to work through.
Just out of curiosity, how many reported cases of alleged harassment exist now for Bill Gothard. On one web page I thought I saw a pretty high number. Anyone know?
Argh. A beautiful written article explaining legalism and God - and yet it is difficult for me to comprehend. In all respect, what do you expect? I'm one of the ATI students who were immersed in this 'legalistic' view of God through the program, my church, my family life. While I was being taught all of this, I was told that it wasn't legalism. And now it is. It's so confusing.
I thought I knew God. And now I believe I know God. And now I wonder if the people who told me about God in the first place actually know God.
It's like a horrifying spiritual version of "Who's On First?"
There are two sides of the coin: the bright spot in all of this is that I and some of my other ATI peers have not rejected the idea of God altogether. The flip side is, many have. And that is the ultimate tragedy.
One precious gift I regained as I realized the error of the Gothard "God loves you as long as you perform" bondage was a true rest in the person and work of Jesus Christ. And as I studied more, it was very freeing to realize that what BG is totally out of line not only from what God's Word actually says but what true Christians have always believed. Christ, and Christ alone, is all that I need both in life and in death. Because of Christ's full atonement and my resting on Him alone, I am clothed in the righteousness of Christ and I am always fully accepted in God's Beloved Son. His love for me not only motivates me to obedience, it actually gives me power to obey too. Guilt is hard task master and only drives me to despair.
I discovered some wonderful very old hymns that have helped ground me and know that this "Christ alone" path wasn't something my crazy mind dreamed up.
Paul Gerhardt's (1607-1676) ''A Rock That Stands Forever' (My High Tower)
A Rock that stands forever is Christ my Righteousness!
In Him I stand unfearing, in everlasting bliss!
Christ is my boast and glory--All wrath for me is o'er;
The judgment of the sinner affrighteth me no more.
My heart in joy upleapeth--grief cannot linger there!
O Jesus, Lord in glory, Thou art my sunshine fair!
The Source of all my singing is Jesus there above,
The Sun that shines upon me is Jesus and His love.
http://www.hymnary.org/text/a_rock_that_stands_forever_is_christ_my
A modern arrangement by a friend of mine: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Z6VP_zaXutQ
Augustus Toplady's (1740-1778) 'A Debtor to Mercy Alone'
A debtor to mercy alone, of covenant mercy I sing,
Nor fear, with Thy righteousness on, my person and offering to bring.
The terrors of law and of God with me can have nothing to do;
My Savior's obedience and blood hide all my transgressions from view.
The work which His goodness began the arm of His strength will complete;
His promise is yea, and amen, and never was forfeited yet.
Things future, nor things that are now, not all things below or above,
Can make Him His purpose forgo, or sever my soul from His love.
http://www.hymnal.net/en/hymn/h/292
For so long I couldn't trust myself to read the Bible without warping it. C.H. Spurgeon's Morning and Evening have been like water to my soul thirsty for Jesus.
I was an ATI father in the mid 90's. When we took our 3 teenagers to the ATI conference in Knoxville their response was singing the Steve Taylor song "I Want To Be A Clone", over and over. I am so sorry that I was so blind. I am still deprogramming myself from believing "Another Gospel" (Galatians 1:6-9).
That's hilarious! I wasn't in ATI, but I was a part of a homeschool group influenced by Gothard and other key members of IBLP that did seem to produce a certain "clone" type of Christian behavior, personality and lifestyle. One that I couldn't ever keep up, and I'm glad that God didn't want me to be!
I asked The Lord into my heart
they said that was the way to start
But now you've got to PLAY THE PART
I want to be a clone.
Be a clone and kiss conviction goodnight
Cloneliness is next to Godliness, right?
I'm grateful that they show the way
'cause I could NEVER KNOW THE WAY
to serve him on my own
I want to be a clone
They told me that I'd fall away
unless I FOLLOWED WHAT THEY SAY
Who needs the Bible anyway?
I want to be a clone
Their LANGUAGE it was new to me
but CHRISTIANESE got through to me
I want to be a clone.......
I've learned enough to stay afloat
but not so much I rock the boat
I'm glad they SHOVED it down my throat
I want to be a clone.
"I Want To Be A Clone" by Steve Taylor
Bill Gothard was put on administrative leave February 27th and resigned from IBLP March 6th. Now, nearly two weeks after his initial leave and a week after his resignation he has still not updated his personal Billgothard.com or IBLP.com web sites.
The IBLP site still lists him as the President of IBLP and Chancellor of Verity Institute. Billgothard.com states he is the President of IBLP. Both claims are blatant lies and misrepresentations.
Early on I thought he was a sexually frustrated man with misguided teachings. Now, sadly, with trepidation, I must admit he is just a bad person. I don’t feel that about many people.
Why would the IBLP board act so blatantly deceitful to let the misrepresentation of their organizational structure to continue in the general public realm?
If they can’t get the simple facts and dispersement of information correct who can trust them with any kind of investigation? That blatant misrepresentation is an offense to nearly every character quality esteemed by IBLP.
Maybe I should try an email to the board demanding they accurately portray their corporate structure.
No mention of his resignation, but an article about "forbidden fruit" - kinda sickening to read in light of all the recent revelations.
I noticed on http://iblp.org/ that apparently a Tweet from @IBLP on 10 January 2014 went out stating:
Please remember @BillGothard in your prayers as he spends this month with the Lord in the Northwoods. pic.twitter.com/i0aBp1Lwps
Not a major statement, but a sign that the air has changed, so to speak.
I am wondering what revelations that BG may experience this month... and why a viable third party hasn't already been hired.
@Brumby
I always appreciate what you have to say.
I don't think the stories really started breaking until early Feb. so that tweet was just more holy religious jargon to elevate Bill's status and to keep his followers in awe. Pretty sure if he was fasting God would've showed him the storm clouds on the horizon.
Mr. Gothard has "religiously" retreated to the NW every January for his time of prayer and fasting for as long as I can remember. His MO is to return with "new words" and direction for the ministry. It usually resulted in a new teaching, a new series (like Commands of Christ), a new book/pamphlet, etc. Why have I always known this and it wasn't a huge red flag??!!
And now knowing what I know about the Northwoods... just so weird, perverted, and... yuck.
I thought that it was normal for him to retreat to Northwoods for the month of January, but didn't know if he'd always kept up with this tradition or if it was intermittent.
P.S. Actually when I first noticed the Tweet I was thinking in my mind that it was February 10, not January. My bad. Thanks for the clarifications for the sake of accuracy though - no worries!
I'm so with you on this: to not update either website, OK..it's awkward, I get it.. puts appearance way above honesty, not doing the update is a lie, plain and simple. This is not complicated, this is discipleship 101. Just weird.
I noticed this as well -- that their official websites are NOT updated with the resignations! One source says two board members have resigned too. But in the Veinots' book that I'm reading now (fascinating, by the way) it is documented several times that the board members have often been in name only, and some of them even admit to rubber-stamping whatever Bill asserted, blindly. Also, it points out that the board members are scattered across the country and are not able to meet in a group very often. (I wonder which board members resigned?)
I was wondering the same thing. I find it odd that (as far as I can tell) the only statement has been by proxy. Maybe the board has released something through it's private email system, but it seems to be ducking associating the ministry publicly with their decisions.
Where I come from that is classified as "gross negligence" and from a "Christian" perspective it is just down right deceitful.
One could in theory make a donation to IBLP and then later sue them for misrepresentation and not disclosing that Bill is not on the board.
The Board can claim no knowledge of Bills transgression but it's pretty hard to deny the inaccurate/deceitful info on your web site.
What they fail to realize it that post like mine will forever be in the public record and people will be able to verify their deceitfulness. In their prayerful, biblical approach maybe they should consider a little honesty. That's what God is really looking for.
Ryan
I occasionally look at the Facebook Friends of Mr. G group. Things have been pretty quiet there recently.
Maybe these recent events and revelations have caught their attention and at least some are reconsidering their views on Bill Gothard.
You're right -- the fb group Friends of Mr G -- the sound of crickets chirping on their page the last couple of weeks. I have been more than a little shocked at responses I've read on there -- concerning RG and the stories that are coming out. One man said of "Charlotte" -- something like "she probably made it all up." ! And the occasional comment -- "They're" (RG people) "are probably filling their minds with evil rock music!!" It's sad.
"They're" (RG people) "are probably filling their minds with evil rock music!!" It's sad.
what's sad is having to wait till quitting time for that 'evil rock music..." And where I work, gasp, women wearing pants... and making important decisions and stuff..
Well, in the words of Debbie Boone (one of Gothard's stupid anecdotes); "loving rock music can't be wrong if it feels so right" :) I have literally repented before God for burning my music-twice! Vinyl. U2. SMH. Those folks would surely doubt my salvation were they to see my music collection.
I read the discussions on that site and am reminded how far the Lord has brought me from that world. I am so thankful for the person who, when I was despairing from not being the "best", looked at me and said "you know Jesus died for your sins too", and "the goal of the Christian life is not to be some super saint but to grow comfortable in your own skin". I now chase those things from God. Such relief. Such freedom. Such new growth in grace. I tell people it's like be closed in a stuffy room barely ably to breathe and then someone opened a window. So thankful to be far away from that way of thinking!
Somehow I get the feeling that rock music is MORE evil than the devil, in their books. As if rock music is the sole source of perverting anything, when the Scripture says that 'everyone is tempted when they are drawn away by their OWN lusts.' Not rock music's lust. Not, 'female bodies exist, therefore I lust'.. no, their 'own' lust.
Of course, I still disagree that rock music is inherently evil. Like anything else created by God, music can be used for sacred purposes, or evil purposes..
sorry for the hijack, haha.
I have observed the same thing Steve 240. I have wondered what those FB friends have been thinking in recent days. I can appreciate how difficult this revelation must be to them.
Thank you RG for this website and all the work you do!! Your work is a blessing to many.