33 Comments

1. 

   Becoming Free March 13, 2015 Reply

   AWESOME!!!!!!! Thank you.

2. 

   J.B. March 13, 2015 Reply

   Wow. I never thought of the opening quizzes in the Wisdom Booklets that way, but it's so true: the structure of the teaching encouraged unhealthy dependency on the content of the WBs. Even the "Parent Guide Planners" are an exercise in dependency on IBLP materials outside the WBs, with many of the projects and checkboxes to mark instructing families to look up some supplementary material in a Men's Manual or Other IBLP Guide to Life Problem #643.
   
   It's like Michael Westen said in one of his voiceover narration clips on Burn Notice: "A good way to make a friend is to solve a problem for them. If there's not a problem, make one yourself." As someone who works in marketing, I really have to give some props to IBLP for how they constructed their "ecosystem." Much like companies such as Apple try to do with their product lineup, Gothard managed to craft a system that set out to solve just about any problem and answer every question man could possibly dream up - to the point where Scripture wasn't what we ultimately sought out, but rather Gothard's take on Scripture.

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     Dave March 13, 2015 Reply

     There is a sad irony when we realize we have to look to secular fiction to understand the things that happened in IBLP. Maybe that was part of why we were not supposed to look outside of Scripture or, as you say, "Gothard's take on Scripture."

3. 

   kevin March 13, 2015 Reply

   David,
   Excellent article! Thank you.
   
   I'm reminded of this article posted awhile back on RG:
   
   How to Spiritually Manipulate Young People in Six Easy Steps:
   
   https://www.recoveringgrace.org/2012/07/how-to-spiritually-manipulate-young-people-in-six-easy-steps/

   • 

     Joel Horst March 14, 2015 Reply

     Thanks for the link, Kevin. I hadn't seen that one before. Great example of manipulation, huh?

4. 

   rob war March 13, 2015 Reply

   Dr Orrison,
   Very nice analysis and explanation. I salute you for your article

5. 

   Heidi March 13, 2015 Reply

   Amazing article. My brother and I were discussing some of these very topics last night. I love your take on it.

6. 

   lmh March 13, 2015 Reply

   Wow! That's all I can think of to write now. An eye-opening article. Thank you!

7. 

   Tina March 14, 2015 Reply

   I was never part of the Gothard movement, but I was part of an abusive church for several years, and this article sounds almost exactly like the discipleship groups I was part of.

8. 

   Sharlott Shaw March 15, 2015 Reply

   “When the individual is humiliated their perceived value of the group is raised.” I know this is what happens, but why? I am not sure I understand why this is the result of humiliation and being put down all the time. I guess it would depend on the family/group as well. With my parents, the more they did it, the more I hated them, but in the case of two other families that I lived with, the more they did it the more I loved them. Them critizising me seemed to me to be some sort of outpouring of their love, because they were willing to be honest with me about my shortcomings. Sounds stupid, but sadly true. I guess like Orrison says, it is because we become convinced that we are so stupid and unable to think for ourselves that we decide just to follow along. Quite the effective manipulative tool, that is for sure. I have noticed a lot of churches are like that as well, so we/I have to be careful what we/I get involved in.

   • 

     J.B. March 16, 2015 Reply

     Sharlott,
     
     I'm so sorry you've had to endure all that. I think you said it well, though: it basically comes down to why the humiliation even happens. Some people engage in it without even understanding it's humiliation to begin with (sometimes with good intentions), while others do so for more malicious reasons. In the case of IBLP, the process began with establishing underlying assumptions: Gothard was the guru you could trust. He knew the Bible inside and out with all the referencing during the Seminars. Everything he said just had to be true. What he accomplished was the dream of many marketers: building trust and positioning himself as a thought leader among his peers. It was very easy for us to depend on IBLP more when our pre-IBLP preconceptions about life, the universe, and everything were shattered by the "wisdom" offered in its materials, and we were "put in our place."

   • 

     Dave March 16, 2015 Reply

     This is really the right question. Who joins these groups and why? What in the world would cause them to stay in a group like this, particularly after they experience the humiliation?
     
     We were in ATI for several years and I got to know quite a few of the folks. There were two kinds of people we noticed. Roughly ten percent were controllers who used the teachings to feel superior to others and "manage" their spouses and kids. The rest were afraid. Most of them had experienced some moral or financial or relationship failures and already felt inferior. In other words they came with low self-esteem, ready for someone to tell them what to do next.
     
     The humiliation game felt consistent with what they already thought about themselves. It sounded right. They already saw others as better than themselves. The system just reinforced those feelings.
     
     Even the controllers came mostly from difficult family situations where they were emotionally controlled and/or abused. They rebelled against their parents by becoming more spiritual and judgmental. That became almost the definition of who they were.
     
     You will often hear parents explain that they were just "trying to do the right thing." that means they probably already feared doing the wrong thing or had judged themselves to have done the wrong thing. Young parents, with little or no help from their own parents, find raising kids to be an awesome task. Once the fear is in their hearts, they run to whoever offers the advice or structure to help.
     
     Now, I don't know if the 10/90 percents are right or even close. That's what it seemed like. The point is that most came ready for manipulation by humiliation.

     • 

       J.B. March 17, 2015 Reply

       Dave,
       
       One of my fellow ex-IBLP friends made a similar observation about the makeup of IBLP the other day that I found interesting: "It's always either people with deficiencies growing up or completely new Christians. People like extremes if they feel they are on the wrong path."
       
       A while back, Alfred made a comment about Gothard's penchant for "taking a folded piece of paper and folding it back to make it straight again." But I don't think it's limited to him. Our whole society has become very adept at being compensatory, with contentions constantly being stirred up by those who prey on others' abilities to perceive deficiencies.

       • 

         Mark R March 18, 2015

         This makes a lot of sense.
         
         New Christians (especially those with little or no religious upbringing) simply lack the knowledge needed to spot Gothard's errors. They're taught (rightly so) to read their Bible, so when Gothard (mis)uses a Scripture verse, they check it out, find out that he quoted it correctly, and thus accept what he teaches.
         
         Those persons with "deficiencies" (such as having grown up in a broken home) simply look for anything that may help them avoid what they experienced. They see a fairly happy Gothard family and thus think it may be the key.

     • 

       Lindsey March 17, 2015 Reply

       This explanation is very helpful.

   • 

     Tangent March 23, 2015 Reply

     "When the individual is humiliated their perceived value of the group is raised.”
     This reminds me of a statement Woody Allen made in the movie Annie Hall; "I wouldn't want to belong to any group that would accept me as a member". Is that a feeling of inferiority, or what?

9. 

   J.B. March 16, 2015 Reply

   After reflecting on this a bit more, it dawned on me that this principle of humiliation isn't just limited to the teachings in IBLP's materials. It extends to relationships too: the wall of separation that Gothard tried to construct between his followers and the world (and between his followers and other believers) created the same unhealthy dependency on the IBLP culture. It's sad when these sorts of psychological warfare techniques - like making people believe in a reality where they are alone in the world so they would believe you more - were employed to tighten the grasp that the program had on us. One of my first major eye-opening moments was finally realizing that I wasn't alone: other Christians were out there, they weren't out to compromise their faith, and I wasn't alone at all.

   • 

     A servant of the Risen Savior March 17, 2015 Reply

     Could this whole concept discussed by the author be in any way related to three specific and distinctive points regarding the leadership of a “special group”?
     
     1. Over “deification” or “spiritual elevation” of a leader.
     
     2. Over emphasis of certain Scripture with lack of context.
     
     3. Social Isolation of the group from the real world.
     
     This results in the continual failure of the followers’ ability to successfully meet standards of God and the group. Then being “trained” to look to the leader and his key lieutenants for true understanding of scripture. Lastly where God’s “conventions” for our lives were delivered by special insight from the leader, by divine revelation, and where the rules did not apply to him. Could this “Special Group” be a cult?
     
     Could understanding the abuses above and the understanding of their interference with a pure relationship with Christ be the first step toward the process of healing? By putting Christ back in the correct vertical relationship above us. Thus removing or preventing those who try to insert themselves between us and God. With Christ’s death and resurrection He took us out from under the law and gave us a new direct vertical relationship with Him.

10. 

    Karen March 17, 2015 Reply

    My observation is that this is just the enemy's m.o. magnified and more explicit than in the world generally and given the gloss of "religion". We are all broken, and those who come from backgrounds where manipulation is more common and where acceptance and approval (love) is highly conditioned on some kind of performance are set up to look for more of the same (the law of "self-fulfilling prophecy" in human expectation and behavior). I have a hunch based on my own experience and observation that if you go back far enough in these families, you will find a higher than normal incidence of a generational history of addiction in the family. Children of alcoholics are primed to be manipulated (and to become manipulative) even if they themselves never abuse alcohol.
    
    http://addictionrecoverybasics.com/adult-children-of-alcoholics-5-common-characteristics/

    • 

      David Pigg March 17, 2015 Reply

      There was a subliminal concept of rejection by the "group" as being almost as bad as losing your salvation.Its so easy for a legalistic system to focus in on the outward misconducts of the miscreants,keeping the members ever in the momentum of guilt in comparison to the supramoralism of Bill Gothard.And what wouldn't any manipulated follower do for the peace,even if only for a brief moment a few days,hours,of the bliss of salvation approved and standardized by the chosen few?The 10 percent.This is why grace is needed continuously to encourage those whose transactions of guilt were exploited by this system.And why articles and thoughts to encourage must go on far beyond the time when Gothardism was left.Salvation must be an emotional and psychological, physical,, reality,maintained even in our weakest darkest moments by the strength of a triumphant love,sealed by an eternal deed.

      • 

        Dave March 17, 2015 Reply

        David, this is an excellent observation! It was always about salvation. Everything was subtly tied to salvation. So many times I would challenge someone and they would say that Gothard did not teach salvation by works. But when I then asked about those who didn't do certain things or who did certain other things, I would just get a shaking head or a sigh or a word like, "Well, I don't know." I remember one lady said this: "My sister says she trusts in Jesus for her salvation, but she listens to the wrong music and cuts her hair short. I just don't know how you can be saved and do those things." Gothard, et al, may not have directly tied salvation to works, but clearly insinuated that connection at every turn.
        
        Praise the Lord for the true message of His love and faithfulness!

        • 

          esbee March 17, 2015

          "she listens to the wrong music and cuts her hair short. I just don't know how you can be saved and do those things."
          
          that statement drug up some old memories...back in the late 60's and 70's when some hippies found Jesus but did not shave or cut their hair and the old gentlemen southern Baptist men just could not see how those young 'uns could be saved because of how they still looked like hippies...and of course the Christian music of the time had a beat. Fast forward about 40 years and now the Christian youth write lyrics to hard rock and I have to remember how it was in my youth so that I do not judge.

      • 

        Karen March 19, 2015 Reply

        This speculation about another's salvation based on external appearances and manipulation using the threat of hell is the complete antithesis of the Christian mindset urged upon us in the gospel (and expressed in words of the Desert Fathers, for example, and in works like that of St. John of the Ladder). Here's one example from Abba Moses the Black:
        
        A brother at Scetis committed a fault. A council was called to which Abba Moses was invited, but he refused to go to it. Then the priest sent someone to say to him, ‘Come, for everyone is waiting for you.’ So he got up and went. He took a leaking jug, filled it with water and carried it with him. The others came out to meet him and said to him, ‘What is this, Father?’ The old man said to them, ‘My sins run out behind me, and I do not see them, and today I am coming to judge the errors of another.’ When they heard that they said no more to the brother but forgave him.
        
        The monk [or Christian] must die to his neighbor and never judge him at all, in any way whatever.
        
        If we are on the watch to see our own faults, we shall not see those of our neighbor…To die to one’s neighbor is this: To bear your own faults and not to pay attention to anyone else wondering whether they are good or bad. Do no harm to anyone, do not think anything bad in your heart towards anyone, do not scorn the man who does evil…Do not rail against anyone, but rather say, ‘God knows each one.’ Do not agree with him who slanders, do not rejoice at his slander, and do not hate him who slanders his neighbor.
        
        This is what it means not to judge. Do not have hostile feelings towards anyone and do not let dislike dominate your heart; do not hate him who hates his neighbor.
        
        If the monk does not think in his heart that he is a sinner, God will not hear him. A brother asked, ‘What does that mean, to think in his heart that he is a sinner?’ Then Abba Moses said, When someone is occupied with his own faults, he does not see those of his neighbor.
        
        This is grace truly applied in the context of Christian community. "Man looks on the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart."
        
        Romans 14 also comes to mind, especially verse 4!

        • 

          sarah April 2, 2015

          Wow. I'm pretty sure I never thought I'd see St. Moses the Black quoted here! I love it! Reading the Church Fathers showed me that I had never been taught the real Christian faith - or at least not the whole of it. Thanks for posting.

11. 

    Julia Fetters March 17, 2015 Reply

    I need to send my grown children the observation Dr. Orrison and his family made about WB Quiz answers and how they would laugh about it - we did the very same thing!!! We would choose the opposite of what we thought was right and be correct in answering the quiz questions! Boy, did this article bring back memories... So glad to be free - now to get free of regret.

    • 

      J.B. March 18, 2015 Reply

      Is it weird that as a kid, I'd try to answer all of the questions using some sort of pattern between the true and false answers? :-)

12. 

    nicole gardner March 18, 2015 Reply

    What's powerful to me is that not only leaders of actual families (husbands & fathers) came up with different answers, but that Dr. Orrison did as well; and he's a pastor to boot. Do any records of these answers found by real men still exist? Because these compiled would make a great volume debunking IBLP heresy, especially if paired with their respective questions at the beginnings of the wisdom booklets.

13. 

    Don Rubottom March 18, 2015 Reply

    Nicole, that is a great idea. While reading the article I was thinking how interesting it would be to go back through the 54 (52?) booklets and just review the quiz and try to answer biblically instead of gothardly. Of course, such questions and answers are often subtly written to trick you into the "wrong" answer. But I do recall that about half the "right" answers were just arbitrary and capricious views of Bill, no more biblical than the "wrong" answers. Of course, I was a horrible dad and did not dig deeply into most of the WBs, so I can't give a comprehensive review without some study.
    Nevertheless, the quizzes would make a great outline for an "Against Gothard" apology.

    • 

      J.B. March 18, 2015 Reply

      Don,
      
      One of the most damaging T/F quizzes from IBLP that I encountered wasn't actually in the WBs at all - it was the one on tithing in one of the Men's Manuals. The question that stuck with me the most afterward said something to the effect of, "If you have not given 10 percent of your income to the Lord every Sunday, you will need to make up for all of the giving you have withheld," to which the correct answer was "true." My mother and I always lived in constant fear of "the destroyer" mentioned in Malachi just because our family wasn't the most consistent with tithing back in the day.

      • 

        Leslie March 20, 2015 Reply

        I once heard a pastor say you not only need to make up fo all the giving you have withheld, but pay interest on it.

      • 

        Don Rubottom March 20, 2015 Reply

        Such a shame that these teachers do not know that HE suffered in our place. I give weekly, as taught, but I do consider it regular freely given worship, rather than obligation rooted in fear. I rejoice that I can give, without fearing not to do so.

      • 

        kevin March 22, 2015 Reply

        Gothard was a brilliant marketer. It was no accident that he put a heavy emphasis that Christians are required to tithe to their church or else bad things might happen to them, as God punshed them. They will need to make up for all the giving witheld from years past? Wow! As has been reported, he taught that women might miscarry if their households did not tithe enough and other bad things might happen as well. I see this as no accidental teaching. He knew very well that the success of his seminars was largely dependant on getting pastors on board and encouraging them to bring their congregations in by the busload. Imagine the positive impact on the church coffers for the pastor that successfully brought his congregation to a seminar when the members digested these teachings. No, this teaching was no accident. It was brilliant marketing.

        • 

          Karen March 23, 2015

          Well and truly did the Apostle say, "For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil; . . ."