Who Is God? . . . a Follow-Up

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Who Is God? . . . a Follow-Up

Who Is God? . . . a Follow-Up

17 September 2011, 01:00

I hadn’t planned to do a “follow-up” on this topic. But over the past few days, my thoughts keep returning to it.

Through the years as I’ve interacted with other former students of the Advanced Training Institute, I’ve seen most of them go through a phase of what would seem to be spiritual shutdown. We can no longer digest any more “Seven Steps to Spiritual Success.” Many Scripture references are an immediate turn-off because of how we’ve seen them misapplied. We feel instant bondage in the midst of groups who hold to teachings similar to those of the Institute in Basic Life Principles. And many of us are very uncomfortable with common Christian lingo (possibly wondering about the sincerity of those who use it, what they really mean by their words, and trying to separate those who are genuine Christians from those in our past whose facades were so convincing—and misleading). How could a “ministry” (i.e., IBLP) that was supposedly based on and saturated in Scripture lead so many people to become disillusioned not just with Christianity, but with the very essence of God?

Love was a formula,
not a passion.

The answer is simple and piercing: The teachings of IBLP and the ATI curriculum (and programs) were so full of man’s teachings about the Bible, they left out the God of the Bible—the All-Powerful, Life Giving, All Loving God. We were indoctrinated with all the right things to do, all the steps that supposedly led to “success.” Love was a formula, not a passion. Can love really be love without passion?

I was very fortunate during my teenage years, through my wonderful mom, to be exposed to the influence of some Christian women not affiliated with IBLP or ATI—women who had a passion to know God. Even back then, I knew I wanted that. I wanted to know who God was. And that desire, no doubt carried me through my years of working with IBLP. On my own, I studied the Bible and asked God to show me who He really is, and through the years, He has been faithful to do so. Admittedly, it has taken several years to strip away the lies and mistruths about God I had picked up through the teachings of IBLP (despite my own personal quest to know the real God). I don’t believe there was much overt deception about God, but there was plenty to be inferred about Him through the bulk of the teachings. As I reflect back on those years, it seems God was simply left out. His words were used en masse, and of course we tipped our hats to Him. But He was definitely not the focus, the center, the axis of the ministry or its teachings.

Reflection on these realizations cuts pretty deep. So many people were (and continue to be) hurt by the misrepresentations of God, propagated by IBLP. God has proven to be so faithful, good, caring, and present in my life. It saddens me that so many people were fed so many lies about who He is. I think this is one of the most devastating effects of IBLP and ATI.

On a happier note, having those deceptions exposed has only fueled my pursuit of knowing who God really is—sans religion, preconceived notions, cliché religious verbiage, baseless traditions, or anything else that could mask the real thing. I’ve started asking God to open my eyes to see Him in the world around me, and I’m often surprised at where He shows up. He continues to blast away my perceptions of who I think God “should” be. He’s too big to fit into any box. And He truly is omniscient. He knows where to find us. He knows where we are on our journey through life, and He is more than capable of meeting us there—through a means He knows we can understand.

All articles on this site reflect the views of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the views of other Recovering Grace contributors or the leadership of the site. Students who have survived Gothardism tend to end up at a wide variety of places on the spiritual and theological spectrum, thus the diversity of opinions expressed on this website reflects that. For our official statement of beliefs, click here.

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Gina September 17, 2011 Reply

Thanks for this post, Amanda! This is exactly what I experienced.

The IBLP Christianity had long to-do lists that was simply exhausting; i could never measure up. Growing up, Matthew 11:28-30 never rang true to me; I actually disliked the passage. "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." I couldn't understand Jesus as a friend or brother, and my every-day Christian life didn't seem like the Good News anyone would be excited about.

While I did not turn my back on Christianity after ATI, I stopped reading my Bible for a number of years; there were too many Scripture passages that I couldn't read without hearing Bill Gothard's voice in my head. It was a real revelation to me when I began to realize how functionally me-centered the IBLP teachings are. My Christianity was always so focused on myself and what I was doing for God in order to earn sanctification-brownie-points (for rewards, success, etc.) with Him that I didn't really know Him. I'm now learning that God made me to know and worship Him.
Wendy Blake September 17, 2011 Reply

I think you totally hit the nail on the head!!! And it seems that people who seemed to have come out with a relationship with God had some kind of push (whether by their parents or some other influence) that steered them correctly that they were able to think back to. It seems that depending on the degree parents pushed IBLP as God's direction for life made it harder to see the difference between God and IBLP's portrayal of Him.
Is His character to keep track of how much we sacrifice for Him (such as in courtship and other steps and formulas)? Or is His character that He simply loves us... the way we are (and passionately as you said)?
I think that if a person can find the answers to that then they have a good chance of finding Him outside of IBLP and they have a chance of living the way He really wanted us to live... loving Him and loving others.
Who Is God to You? (Part 2 of 2) | Recovering Grace October 28, 2011 Reply

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