Recovering Grace asked former Advanced Training Institute (ATI) students what they remembered about the Christmas holidays — and the preparations for them — at the various training centers at which they served. While some of the students had pleasant memories, others remembered stress-filled weeks of onerous, highly-detailed work, culminating in large events that they were too tired to truly enjoy.

Moscow Training Center
Moscow, Russia

I remember the weeks before Bill Gothard came to the Moscow Training Center (MTC) at Christmas in 1996 and 1999 when I was there. We were all very busy cleaning and decorating so it would be just the way he liked it. We had to decorate the trees and shape the garlands just so, everything carefully spaced. It looked nice when we were done. And I myself, being a perfectionist, thought it was great. But there was a lot of pressure —  if it looked nice but not the way he liked it, it had to be redone.  — MC

My family was at the MTC for Christmas 1996 and helped get ready for the pensioner banquets. My sisters and I also helped wrap gifts for the orphans. I remember we were told to wrap the presents in such a way that you couldn’t see any tape and to make sure the patterns lined up perfectly because that’s the way Mr. Gothard liked it. My sisters and I thought this was ridiculous since we couldn’t envision a scenario where he would actually get close enough to inspect them before the orphans ripped into them. But the mother in charge was really nervous about it. I had to wrap a box that was bent, which meant it was impossible for it to be perfect, though it looked pretty incredible to me. But when I showed it to the Mom in charge, she looked so worried. I just didn’t get it.  — LB

Christmas in Moscow, 1992. That is a good memory for me. I can’t think about it without smiling. The group was small and warm. We did a gift exchange and had a good time. — MS

My memories of Christmas at the MTC are even more spotty than those from the rest of my year there. I was so very sick then and hardly left the orphanage family apartment where my family was staying. This is how I managed to avoid any personal contact with BG.  My parents, on the other hand, got to go to a meeting for the orphanage parents where Bill told everyone that “Christians can’t handle freedom” and it was understood that he was the one who needed to make the rules.  My mom was also chastised by someone less than half her age for wanting to give a miniature swiss army knife to one of the older orphan boys [called “leaders in training, or “LITs”]. In a horrified, gasping voice, this person said to my mom, “Oh, Mrs. H, I would never give a knife to an LIT! ” (As if the boy didn’t know where all the knives were in the kitchen!)  I also remember one of the girls wrapping all of Mrs. M’s presents with no tape showing!   — KG

The Northwoods
Upstate Michigan

I remember loving Christmas at the Northwoods, mostly because it was more of a close-knit group of people. We lived in a separate house, so we celebrated on our own, then had an open house in the evening for any staff or ALERT guys who couldn’t go home. Honestly, I loved Christmas. The lodge was mostly shut down, so we didn’t go in for meals or anything other than to socialize. We got to be a family instead of being staff, and I loved it. — AK

Dallas Training Center
Dallas, Texas

We celebrated Christmas in 1994 at Excel. One evening, we all attended the Christmas cantata at First Baptist Church, I think. We were cautioned beforehand that there was a short bit of interpretive dance during the performance. We had a great time, and once back at the Dallas Training Center (DTC) we laughed uproariously about the completely un-scandalous dancing. (Not that I approved of dancing back then.) We also went riding one evening to look at Christmas lights. I had a very good time at Excel in general, and it was fun being there just before the holidays. — SJ

Indianapolis Training Center
Indianapolis, Indiana

I remember going to the Indianapolis Training Center (ITC) Christmas conference my first year on the Institute’s headquarters staff. All of the Christmas decorations were so beautiful, and I was completely in awe of the enormous tree — I think it must have been 50 feet tall at least. (I had no idea, that year, of the thousands of hours of backbreaking work that had gone into that day’s celebration.) The food was wonderful, and the programs and entertainment were all so inspiring. (And, for once, the garish red carpet didn’t seem out of place.) That was the year that all the girls on staff received a nice faux pearl necklace as a gift. I still have, and occasionally wear, mine.  — WA

For my family at the ITC, Christmas was a nightmare. Most of the staff went home, and the families who stayed were responsible for running everything. The rest of the year, normal work days for me were 10 to 12 hours (I was still in high school), but during the Christmas season I was lucky to get four  hours of sleep a night because I had to take over security at night on top of full work days. Three weeks of that is impossible. Christmas Eve and Christmas Day were a nightmare. One year, we actually had a full 30 minutes uninterrupted to open gifts together as a family. I’m not sure if it was the same for all staff families at ITC, but that was our life every year.  — SS