As the jet taxied away from the terminal that winter day in 1970, the parents tearfully waving off their teenage daughter never imagined how many years would pass before she truly returned. She was embarking on a journey that would last nearly a decade, and when it was over no one would ever be able to turn back the arms of time and recapture what was lost along the way.
I am that daughter, and I dedicate this story to parents everywhere who love their children as my parents loved me. Perhaps my story will help you and your family avoid the pitfalls of the young and the not so young who willingly sacrifice their souls to the dreams and aspirations of the “great.”
This is a true story, but as I recount the strange happenings of it, I wonder if it will seem beyond belief to those who have for years given their loyalty, trust and love to the major characters who must be described herein. To all of you I plead, please read with open hearts and follow this story to the end. In doing so you may grieve, as I have grieved, or shudder as you walk with me through the shadows of my personal valley of death. The lessons were costly, at times even brutal, but they provide all the more reason for the telling. If only one person can be spared by learning from my experiences, the hurt of putting them on paper will be worthwhile.
By the age of 15 I was well acquainted with the ministry of Bill Gothard and the Institute in Basic Youth Conflicts. My parents expounded often on how Mr. Gothard’s seminar could enrich my life and teach me much about such important matters as making lasting friends and being successful in the area of dating. At 16 they considered Mr. Gothard’s seminar so vital to my personal growth that they drove me, along with the young man I was dating, a thousand miles to spend a week listening to the teachings they assured me would change my life. They were indeed correct. My dating habits didn’t change drastically because my parents had already taught me godly principles. However, other things began to change. I became a devoted follower of the Institute’s seminars, listening with total commitment to the teachings of a man I was sure could achieve his vision of “turning the world upside down” with his new concepts of living. I faithfully sought to apply each of his concepts and struggled with feelings of guilt whenever I failed to do so. I began linking achievement with the approval of God and worked the harder to be all that I thought He would desire. My favorite song expressed my driving purpose, “Give of thy best to the Master, give Him the strength of thy youth.”
So when Mr. Gothard’s telephone call came asking if I would join his staff in Illinois, no one was more surprised or delighted than I. I quickly arranged to take a leave of absence from my freshman year of college and boarded a plane for Chicago two days after Christmas, less than two weeks from the date of Mr. Gothard’s call. It seemed a strange time to leave my family, but Mr. Gothard had clearly stated I must come immediately. Our respect and reverence for this man was so deep we never thought to question either his motives or his judgment. Many opportunities to do so would arise in the future, but each one would be quickly pushed aside. We, like so many others, were blinded by our desire to see a changed world and our love for the man who promised such a reward for his laborers.
And labor we did, which takes this account back to the years between 1971 and 1975. During this period of time a lifestyle was initiated by Mr. Gothard that would later end in tragedy for many on his staff. It is easy to report the havoc which transpired, but the difficult challenge is to reveal what caused it. This task is both difficult and painful for it requires exposing the actions of a man so many hold in great esteem. There is no other way, however, to tell the true story or to provide the facts which may help you guard yourself and your family from the devastation which has left its mark on many lives, including my own.
Original document from Ruth's papers, click to enlarge
Original document from Ruth's papers, click to enlarge
Original document from Ruth's papers, click to enlarge
This is how Ruth began her life’s story. The memories were too painful, and she never had the opportunity to finish writing it.
My Ruth was much like the Ruth of the Bible. Her journey was long and difficult, filled with physical, emotional and spiritual pain. She didn’t end up with a prince charming Boaz, but with me, and the ending was anything but fairytale. Ruth worked at the Institute’s headquarters from 1970–1980. We were married shortly after she left the Institute. God gave us two beautiful children, and then, after 13½ years together, our loving Savior decided He needed another flower in heaven and Ruth was gone. Our personal story began a long, long time ago but that’s not this story. This is a story of betrayal, deceit, and evil control.
Ruth was never able to finish writing her story; it was too difficult emotionally. In the end, she was fighting for her life, raising two young children, and living for each day and for what the Lord had in store for tomorrow. Someone else would have to fight yesterday’s battle for her. Before Ruth’s cancer, she fought the good fight; she had seen what the ATI program was doing to individuals, families, and churches. When she saw that Bill was using the same techniques on the ATI students that she had suffered under many years before, she fought even harder. Ruth went so far as to reestablish contact with Bill, hoping she could be an agent of change. But that never happened. Today I’m sharing with you the story Ruth never wrote, but which she shared with me as we worked together to leave the past and create our future together.
The pain and suffering I read on Recovering Grace is what she wanted to stop. The Institute we lived under is different than yours. Pre-1980, the organization was known as the Institute in Basic Youth Conflicts (IBYC), and that name had been changed from “Campus Teams” sometime in the 1960s. IBYC’s bread and butter was the Basic Seminar. Major cities like Seattle, Portland, Los Angeles, Oakland, Dallas, Denver, Atlanta, Chicago, Miami, and New York would have live week-long seminars twice a year with up to 18,000 in attendance. Smaller cities had video seminars where Bill would sometimes make a one-night appearance. By 1980, over two million people had attended his seminars. The Institute owned two airplanes: a Learjet 35 and a turboprop MU-2. They also had a larger Lear 55 on order. The Seminar had major real estate holdings in Oak Brook (200+acres) and at their upper-Michigan Northwoods facility (3,000+ acres), which included a fully instrumented private airport. Money was never an object. Success and prosperity were seen as a sign of God’s blessing, giving rise to a “the end justifies the means” philosophy of ministry. Those who lived and worked at the Oak Brook headquarters endured a different, more oppressive life than the Seminar’s public image.
Historically, this was during the era of Jim and Tammy Bakker, who were in their prime with the PTL network, who, along with Jimmy Swaggart were making their heart-breaking TV appeals to millions of older people living on fixed incomes while they were living in opulent luxury and sin. Bill took a drastically different approach: he would “humbly” and openly share that he lived on a set income of $600, still lived with his parents, drove an old car, and wore inexpensive clothing. All of this was true; his favorite food was cheap and easy: egg salad sandwiches. But the other side of the story was that the Institute spent thousands of ministry dollars to keep his old, rusty 1968 Oldsmobile 98 classic running. He would drive his old junker to the airport and then climb into his brand-new Learjet. If he wanted anything personally, he would casually mention it to his staff and they would buy it as a gift or expense it. These subtle requests were never anything expensive, but he didn’t have a need or worry in the world. And this false sense of humility had its rewards. The Seminar alumni were so tired of the overt pressure placed on them by televangelists and their local churches that when they heard Bill’s message of never asking for money and how God provided in miraculous ways, they got out their checkbooks and the millions came in. (Bill’s brother was a different story. For Christmas or his birthday, he would request expensive leather luggage or rare, expensive duck decoys to add to his collection. The staff felt emotionally manipulated into providing these gifts, even though they made almost nothing themselves.)
When Ruth arrived at the Oak Brook headquarters at the age of 18½, all aspects of her life were controlled by Bill and his brother (who was serving as V.P. of the ministry): where she lived, what she wore and how she wore it, who she saw, where she went to church and the level of involvement she could have with it. Bill once threatened Ruth with dismissal over one male friend of hers, because he couldn’t tolerate her “lack of total commitment” to him. And this was just over her corresponding with a young man who lived two thousand miles away. Ruth and Bill finally reached a compromise: Bill would read all of the correspondence from this young man and help her write very non-personal letters in response, while discouraging any phone calls between the two. Bill felt that his authority overshadowed Ruth’s parents’ approval of this Christian young man and their relationship. (I was that young man and was unaware of this high level of control till after we left the Institute.) Sadly, this was par for the course among staff members. Bill controlled the dating lives of nearly all his staff members, and individuals were routinely fired for developing relationships without Bill’s blessing.
Image was everything to Bill. Bill would send Ruth and other staff women to his brother for various training, and would preface the direction by saying, “God has given my brother special insight and direction.” These areas of “training” were normally in dress and presentation. Ruth often stated that some of the women complained that Bill’s brother even directed what kind of underwear they should wear.
To the staff, Bill reinforced the message that God was blessing the ministry based on its growth and prosperity, which implied Bill was of God and could do no wrong. One could say these young, impressionable staff members were slowly brainwashed, and “God’s blessing” was used as a means of control. Staff members who questioned anything Bill taught were forced to leave and were labeled as failures. Bill would explain that they had failed God and were resistant to God’s chain of command. Questioning was rarely tolerated by Bill and his family. The Gothards were at the top of the chain of command, as evidenced by God’s blessing on the ministry, of course.
At Headquarters, Ruth started out as the assistant to Bill’s secretary, and Bill soon took a liking to Ruth. Fairly quickly she was promoted to his personal secretary. This was no 9 to 5 job; she was expected to be available whenever Bill wanted her, and the early mornings and late nights meant she had almost no personal life outside of the ministry. She traveled with Bill to be available to him in between seminars. Ruth’s entire world soon revolved around Bill and his schedule. It is easy to see how an impressionable young girl would struggle to maintain objectivity when she is suddenly thrust into the jet-setting world of a popular Christian speaker who was being welcomed by thousands of Christians in cities across the country. It was an exciting life!
Although he taught the highest standards of physical conduct for the sake of outward appearances, Bill started asking Ruth to sit on his lap in his office. He would invite her to come watch the stars, and they would lie on the roof of the old Headquarters building under a blanket together. Bill would take her to dinner and have her sit next to him on the bench seat of his Olds 98. She told me that he used intimate phrases like “I don’t know what God has planned for us,” clearly implying that there was something more to their relationship than secretary/boss. Ruth didn’t love Bill as a suitor, but over time he trained her to rely so exclusively on him for every decision she made that she was willing to do what God commanded and marry him if he asked. While the things that they did would not be terribly unusual for a dating couple outside of the Institute, Bill’s behavior was way out of bounds for a Christian leader and boss, and a clear double standard set against Bill’s own teachings on moral purity. Through the years, he has systematically fired staff for much less physical and emotional involvement.
Individual witnesses reported that in the late ’70s, when Bill was visiting the Northwoods, he would wait until all the staff ladies had gone to bed, and then he would knock on their door to give them a long good night hug while they were dressed in their night gowns. Ruth often said how much all the girls hated it, but felt powerless to stop it. Ruth’s writings contain this quote, “Bill treated staff women with a level of intimacy only appropriate in marriage and did discuss marriage with several women. He did so without consulting the parents, even though he teaches in the seminar that this is an evidence of a man with questionable motives. What good purpose could Bill have had in discussing marriage with more than one woman? If this was a means of creating loyalty to himself, it is not one we believe God can bless.” It was only after leaving IBYC that Ruth discovered that Bill had used the same technique of discussing marriage in a non-committal way with several other women during the same time period he was discussing it with her.
By this point Ruth had worked at the Institute for 7½ years. Bill had interfered with every relationship she had attempted, yet he failed to move to a point of commitment. He hinted at marriage, discouraged or forbade all other relationships, and left her stuck in emotional “never-never land.” Ruth writes, “I was threatened with demotion by Bill Gothard in 1978 when I asked him to emotionally free me to date and seek to build relationships with men other than him.”
After years of working as Bill’s personal secretary, Ruth fell out of favor with Bill after an emotional breakdown. The psychological control he held over her and the way he kept her reliant on him and his “rhemas” were taking their toll on her mentally and emotionally. As a result of her breakdown she told me she felt like she was punished by being demoted. She was given a choice: she could work as a clerk in the registration department (an entry level position) or leave Headquarters and go to the Northwoods property and work for Bill’s brother. Ruth writes, “Even after I told Bill about the moral pressures I faced from previous visits to the Northwoods, he pressured me to relocate there.” This was a fateful decision that would have her working with an immoral man and land her in the middle of one of the most grievous cases of widespread sexual harassment and abuse in a Christian ministry.
The IBYC scandal of 1980 was horrific, and was an out and out case of sexual harassment and abuse. The “scandal” that broke in the Christian media wasn’t about a single case of immorality, but was the revelation that Bill had known about the sexual immorality of his brother for more than five years without taking substantive action. Instead, Bill set himself and his father up as his brother’s only sources of accountability, while continuing to send a stream of young Christian girls to work for him. Predictably, many of them were seduced and violated. At its roots was the slow brainwashing by Bill and his family, accomplished under the banner of the “chain of command” teachings. It may sound extreme that sincere young Christian women who loved the Lord became entangled in this situation, but the extremely controlled environment which focused on externals, “what other people thought,” “not damaging the ministry,” and the constant teaching of God’s direction coming through your “authorities” became the perfect tool that allowed this sexual harassment and abuse to occur. Again Ruth writes, “Bill’s misuse of the concept of chain of command literally robbed his staff of their personal accountability to God and the maturity that comes with such responsibility. They were encouraged to hand over their minds and spirits in a way totally contrary to Scripture, and without the maturity of a close personal walk with God, they were easy prey for the tragedies which occurred.”
Ruth was one of the women who had been sexually preyed upon and willingly admitted it when asked. I am not sharing something private, but a part of her life story that she wanted others to learn from so as to not make the same mistakes. She reminded all of us that Christians need to put their faith in God and not in man, and that we don’t need an intercessor between us and our Savior. God guides us directly. Others can play a part in pointing us to Him, but the relationship goes from Him to us and not through Bill or any other “spiritual leader.”
Bill, in response to a 2006 letter from me, acknowledged that he should have never sent the women up north. (Northwoods is where most of the sexual misconduct occurred). This letter was significant because it was the first time since 1980 that he had taken any responsibility for what occurred. His letter was in response to a 26-page letter I had sent him earlier that year, calling for his repentance. However, that request for forgiveness was a vague statement; it could be interpreted without the forehand knowledge of his brother’s immorality or as historical regret. Regardless of his intent I did offer him forgiveness for that item, and for that one item only.
In 1990, while Ruth and I were visiting Gary Smalley in his Phoenix home, Gary shared that in the mid-’70s he and another man personally approached Bill regarding his brother’s immorality. Gary and the other staff member (who confirmed Gary’s story in a phone call to me) were forced to resign, and Bill’s brother was sent from the Headquarters in Oak Brook to the Northwoods facility, where he retained his Vice President position. This action simultaneously protected the brother from any further investigation while ignoring and refusing to acknowledge the many women whom Bill’s brother had already sexually manipulated and misused. It was around the time of this scandal when Bill wrote and published his alumni supplement, “Rediscovering a Forgotten Truth,” which twists the instructions of Jesus in Matthew 18 on how to confront a brother in sin and reframes these important instructions with an emphasis on only giving a “good report” about others. At the same time, the staff were directed to sign a “Loyalty Oath” that they would never share anything negative about anyone. To this day, Bill still claims that he was “unaware” of his brother’s rampant immorality prior to Gary Smalley’s whistle-blowing attempt, but Bill’s own admission that he should never have sent the women on staff up north was, in fact, an acknowledgment that he was aware of his brother’s past history, because there is nothing else that would cause that regret.
In the mid-’70s, because of my training as a commercial pilot, I was asked to join the IBYC staff to fly their first airplane. After visiting Oak Brook, I did not have a peace about it. As Bill drove me back to the airport, I told him I lacked a peace regarding their offer. He stated that my peace was not necessary because God only gave peace through the chain of command, not to me personally. I knew that Christ promises the peace that passes all understanding, so deciding to go with that promise, I rejected the position. Several years later, I was ready for a change and I accepted their second offer, but I only lasted eighteen months and resigned when the scandal broke.
Accepting the position in 1979 was in God’s gracious plan; He knew that Ruth and I would reconnect and get married, and for me to understand all she had been through I needed to see it for myself. It gave me the background to help her regain her spiritual and emotional freedom as she left the Institute. Even after leaving the Institute Ruth found it very difficult to make decisions. Shortly after we were married she passed out in a grocery store while trying to decide which product to purchase. Even to go to the mailbox, in our rural setting, she had to get dressed up; the Institute’s requirement of appearance had been so strongly drilled into her that it was hard to break free from the Institute’s bondage.
I had the privilege to hold her hand as she walked through her final journey after she was diagnosed with stage four breast cancer at 37 years old. When Ruth was diagnosed with advanced, aggressive cancer at such a young age, her doctors told her it was most likely exposure to intense stress that predisposed her to this particular form of cancer. She had not experienced anything as stressful as her ten-year employment with IBYC from 1970–80. Together we endured a grueling four-year battle as she bravely fought for her life. She filled my life with love, taught me how to communicate better, and blessed me with two beautiful children. They were 9 and 11 when she went home to be with the Lord after losing her battle with cancer. She never got to see them grow up—a regret we all feel deeply.
As I close, I want to share a paper that I found a few years ago in Ruth’s handwriting. I don’t know if it was the start of a letter to Bill, a journal entry, or maybe something to add to her barely-started book. Whatever its purpose, she bared her soul. For thirteen years she was tormented by nightmares revolving around her experiences at IBYC until just before she died.** Oak Brook was hell on earth for Ruth, but today she walks on streets of gold, bathed in the warmth and light of our loving God and His Son, Jesus.
Ruth writes:
My belief in your dreams, Bill, died long before I left your doors. Yet my soul cannot seem to forget the agony of that death.
Last night, for the countless time, I dreamed of my departure from the Institute. As I walked away, unexpected hands tore at me and pulled away the protection of my clothes as I screamed for help. As I opened my eyes in terror, I was reassured and comforted by the wakeful presence of my dear husband.
These dreams that re-occur off and on are the marks of a soul that remembers and still cries out at the cruel blows that came from the hands of a one-time friend. Bill, true I do not feel bitter, I feel free. Yet the memories must fester somewhere in my soul. They rise in the darkness of night to frighten and trouble my mind. I want to forget and to forgive with my unconscious as well as my conscious self, but something holds me back.
In many dreams I’m confronting you or your family with all the accusations that have never been acknowledged. The grievances cannot rest for having never been recognized and openly dealt with.
Bill, how could one who trusted you so completely live to trust you so little? Young dreams die hard and the dying took ten years of my life. Perhaps, I muse, it is for those years I grieve. I don’t think so, though, for I am wiser for all I learned at your hands. The tragedy is that much of the learning came through the failures of yours and mine alike.
If your soul should lash out at this exposure of mine, I shall not hide. God has strengthened my heart, and I no longer inadvertently begin my prayers with “Dear Bill.” Do you remember being amused at my confession of such actions?
(It seems there should be more but this is all I found)
As I read Recovering Grace and see the hurts Bill has caused, I can only wish we had done more to stop his evil. The reports of Bill’s emotional manipulation and damage of young girls go back decades, from his first ministry out of college to today. But the lesson for all of us is to put our faith in the Lord and no one else. Man will fail us but Christ won’t! It’s sad that so many parents were taken in by his deceitful ways, and that many of the ATI students had to endure Bill’s abusive teachings. I hope that most parents only wanted the best and were looking for something different from what the world offered, but I know that others found it gave them the abusive power they desired. Christ holds each of us accountable for our actions and abusers will have to deal with Christ’s words in Matthew 18:4–6: “Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me. If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.”
When Ruth died, I told our children we were on life’s journey. On that path there was the road ahead and the road behind, and we had a choice as to which one to follow. We could go back, but that would lead only to heartache. We could take the road ahead but keep looking back, and that would cause us to stumble; or we could keep our eyes on the path ahead while remembering the path behind to help guide us through what lay ahead. What lay ahead was the assurance that God’s love was always with us. “For I am persuaded that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:38)
What Bill tried to do was an attempt to put himself between man and God. Earlier in Romans 8 Paul states, “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose” (vs. 28). This is our hope, that regardless of the hurt, through God’s plan something good will come out of it. We might see the result now, later, or we might never know, but our calling is to trust Him and live by faith.
——————
**After a failed experimental bone marrow transplant for breast cancer, Ruth was given 6 to 9 months to live and we were able to get her strong enough for one final family vacation at the magical Kea Lani in Wailea on Maui. It was the goal that kept her going through five months of hospitalization. She loved Hawaii. Even leaving the hospital, the vacation had to be delayed to allow for a round of radiation treatment to relieve the pain from tumors is her spine. In Ruth’s attempt to shield me from some of her pain she failed to tell me about the above-mentioned nightly recurring dreams. There were no topics we couldn’t discuss and why she kept this from me is a mystery. On our fifth night in Hawaii, October 31, 1993, she writes about it in her journal: “My left hip is giving me trouble. It’s painful sitting and lying down. Larne added a new pain patch this AM and I took 2 tylox. That helps a lot. But I feel anxious, I admit, about the pain. I’m so afraid I’m getting worse. I’ve given it all to the Lord but I still have the haunting dreams every night. Part of me isn’t totally at peace—the subconscious part. I think I fear I won’t be strong enough to withstand what tomorrow may hold. Yet I know how foolish it is to borrow sorrow from tomorrow.”
That day she finally told me about the 13 years of dreams, and in the next day’s entry, November 1, 1993, she writes: “Last night we took a long walk along the beach. God had this perfectly prepared. I still can’t walk any distance but we borrowed a wheelchair from the hotel and stayed on the concrete and cobblestone walkway. They stretch for several miles along this beach in front of the large hotels in the strip. They are first above the sand and over the rocky areas that jet out into the sea. It was a beautiful walk. We meandered thru the “Grand Wailea Hyatt.” It’s the only other hotel that compares with the one we’re in. At least in my opinion. Their water-slides run among man-made rocks and mountains reminiscent of Disneyland. They have an underwater elevator connecting the upper and lower pools. They have a chapel over the water that’s almost entirely made of gorgeous stained glass. Lots of fountains, flowers, etc. The kids loved it…. Last night was my first night without nightmares or sad dreams. Larne prayed they’d go away and they did. I know they reflected the subconscious fears about my future. I must continually and consciously yield my fears to God. It’s so easy to borrow sorrow from tomorrow instead of trusting Him to provide strength when I need it.” Ruth finally shared this last burden with me and together with God’s help we prayed it away and they never returned.
Ruth's Vacation Journal pg 1
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Ruth's Vacation Journal pg 2
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Ruth's Vacation Journal pg 3
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See how the experiences Ruth, Annette, Charlotte, Rachel, Meg, Lizzie, and Grace had with Bill Gothard fit together chronologically here, and behaviorally here.
God blessed Ruth with the love of a true man. So, so, so sad to read. Bless you, Mr. Larne G., for fighting for Ruth so many years later. You are an inspiration. Thank you for your efforts.
I just wanted to say thank you for sharing truth in such a loving and kind manner. Your post had to be painful, and yet there is not a trace of bitterness in the story you share. Surely bitterness would be a normal response to such a story, and thus one sees the grace of God at work. I have been reading RG for some time now, and from the perspective of a parent in ATI can verify most of what I read as true, just from observation being in the "program" from ATI's second year when my children were 3 and 5 years old until late n the 90's. Both my husband and I attended seminars in the early 70's, and were committed to finding a way to raise our children without the baggage we had experienced in our own lives. It seemed like such a perfect journey to embark on...follow the directions and help your children miss all the pitfalls you had experienced in life. We should have known - the seduction of the law, and the desire to "do" it all right were clear indicators, but we were blinded by the "purpose" and the desire to to raise a Godly seed...as though that can be done by us - it is a work of God from beginning to end, but it has been a long journey for us to understand and experience HIS grace as opposed to our self efforts. Obviously, the clues were there and we missed them in the excitement of this "new approach to living". My heart is broken that we could have been so deceived. We began to see things as the years progressed and began to realize the program was just that - a program. No easy fix, no way to do the work that only He can do in our lives and in the lives of our children. We are fortunate...we didn't buy the whole thing, and thus escaped some damage. We never sent our kids to "headquarters" - thankfully we didn't have enough money to manage it, although at the time it was a grief to me that they could not experience this level of training. How thankful I am now, and how incredibly sorry I am to read all the pain and exploitation of kids who were deceived and sucked into wanting to please God in this way. My own children have scars of trying to please God by pleasing me and upholding the "testimony" of the program, but they are healing too, and all of us are thankful to be out from under a mask of pleasing God through self effort. We are learning that we are already pleasing to God because of what He did through Christ. I can attest to being totally deceived and to lifting a man up as an idol in our home. One of my children has shared with me how they could never talk to me about it because the program was so venerated in our home, that surely if one disagreed with something in it, they would be displeasing to us. Our story is not dramatic. But I can verify seeing all kinds of the things we are reading about on RG as I look at the ministry in retrospect - the clues were all there, but I was so blinded by the vision put forth that I missed the obvious things. As we began to see them, we became less and less involved, but I never dreamed that it was so totally a BAD thing until a young lady I know went to HQ last year and experienced much of what these young women have shared as their "life as secretaries" to Mr. Gothard. I saw many of things that have been discussed happening in her life. So it is still happening, and I can attest to the truth as you are speaking it as evidenced in her life. I believe you are doing the loving thing in sharing all that you do. It is important that people realize such things are going on and avoid putting their children in danger.
Again, thank you for sharing Larne. I am certain your reliving the pain will save some people from experiencing all the pain you did. May God continue to bless your life.
"One of my children has shared with me how they could never talk to me about it because the program was so venerated in our home, that surely if one disagreed with something in it, they would be displeasing to us."
Suzanne, this was my experience growing up in the program, too. I had experienced a number of troubling things while living/working at Training Centers, and when I came home I tried to explain it to my parents. I knew my parents loved me, but the hold that this program had on their hearts at the time kept them from seeing MY heart and really hearing my concerns. Once RG started, they started reading the stories and we began those same conversations all over again. There has been SO much healing in our relationship over the past two years as a result. If they had it to do over again, they would not have joined ATI or sent their kids to the Training Centers. They were in ATI for over 20 years.
I had pretty much the same experience, Beverly. I left the Indianapolis Training Center in 1995 feeling like I was emotionally short circuiting. I was confused, scared, alone and beyond EXHAUSTED. I battled insomina because I couldn't relax enough to even fall asleep.
There wasn't really a lot of support at home. I was told I was bitter more times than I could count. It wasn't until I was in counseling nearly two decades later that I found some tools to help rebuild my shattered heart.
My parents STILL want to see the good in IBLP and frankly it makes our relationship awkward. It's hard to have a strong relationship with family members when it feels like they summarily dismiss your pain and side with those who caused it.
So much for those "strong families" ATI promised . . .
Ryan,
My parents still defend the 'program' too. I desperately want my parents to see, I was not in rebellion towards them, but from the hypocrisy and inconsistencies demonstrated by the people they kept trying to hand me off to.
It's the subject of which no one speaks.
I so understand...
Thank you for sharing your wife's story. My experience was not as bad as hers but it makes me feel a sense that I am not alone. That my pain, resulting from ATI and IBLP, is shared by so many, starting a decade before I was born. I am so happy to hear that, although her life here ended sooner than expected, she had a happy ending and the love and support she needed. Your story, for me, has ended any lingering doubts I have about Bill Gothard.
God Bless you and your family.
Larne, I cant begin to imagine how emotional all this had been for you. Thank you for sharing this with all with us. As a former student who also worked at HQ I witnessed the same behaviour going on with BG. Reading Ruth's story was very surreal. I feel like the final piece in the puzzle has been placed. And strangely I feel at peace. Like the first chapter has become the final one.
I know Bill's supporters will continue to rage against Recovering Grace and all of us who for years have said that BG is a false prophet and sexual predator. But if one person is saved from his twisted teachings and cruel behaviour, then its not all for naught.
Thank you again! Ruth was an amazing, strong and courageous woman. I am so sorry for your los of her in this life.
I think the most incredible part of this story is that the abuse is so consistent with my time in Oak Brook.
“Bill’s misuse of the concept of chain of command literally robbed his staff of their personal accountability to God and the maturity that comes with such responsibility. They were encouraged to hand over their minds and spirits in a way totally contrary to Scripture, and without the maturity of a close personal walk with God, they were easy prey for the tragedies which occurred.”
This, combined with the fact that decisions were so difficult for her that even years later, she struggled to make a simple decision in a supermarket is painfully familiar.
THIS is why these stories may involve women who are considered "legal adults", but have the emotional maturity of a 12-year-old.
"She reminded all of us that Christians need to put their faith in God and not in man, and that we don’t need an intercessor between us and our Savior. God guides us directly. Others can play a part in pointing us to Him, but the relationship goes from Him to us and not through Bill or any other “spiritual leader.”
The above words are THE path to freedom. They are the reason Jesus tells us in Matthew 23:1-11
"Then Jesus tsaid to the crowds and to his disciples, 2 u“The scribes and the Pharisees vsit on Moses' seat, 3 so do and observe whatever they tell you, wbut not the works they do. xFor they preach, but do not practice. 4 yThey tie up heavy burdens, hard to bear,1 and lay them on people's shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to move them with their finger. 5 tThey do all their deeds zto be seen by others. For they make atheir phylacteries broad and btheir fringes long, 6 and they clove the place of honor at feasts and dthe best seats in the synagogues 7 and dgreetings in ethe marketplaces and being called frabbi2 by others. 8 gBut you are not to be called rabbi, for you have one teacher, and you are hall brothers.3 9 iAnd call no man your father on earth, for jyou have one Father, who is in heaven. 10 Neither be called instructors, for you have one instructor, the Christ. 11 lThe greatest among you shall be your servant."
From the society famous for it's "paterfamilia", Jesus says, "CALL NO MAN FATHER".
If there is anyone reading this from behind the invisible bars of "father rule", BE FREE. Christ himself has freed you, regardless of your gender!!!!
Hi Mrs.Leisl, would you please provide more information or teaching the would reject Bill Gothard's chain of command or authority teaching?
Many thanks
Larne,
Thank you. Thank you for the years and years of praying, of trying to warn people about Mr. Gothard, and for the graciousness with which you have shared the suffering you experienced at his hand. Thank you for sharing Ruth's story - your story - with us.
I remember seeing your first comment on RG - and feeling suddenly renewed for the battle against evil, idolatry, and legalism. Thank you for validating our experiences as ATI students. Thank you for recognizing that many of us gave the best years of our lives - even, perhaps, the best of *ourselves* - for an organization that has left us spiritually destitute. Thank you for showing us that there is STILL hope. Hope in God's love, hope in grace which cannot be earned, hope that real relationships exist and can bring healing to broken hearts.
Praying that the words of pain you shared will bring peace to many.
Under the Mercy,
Susanna
I am a former ATI father. We joined ATI in the mid 90's and were part of ATI for about 10 years before God led us out. We began to see that the results that Bill Gothard had promised with the ATI program were not happening, and many ATI students were turning out the opposite of what Bill had said that they would. Now we know why. Bill was a hypocrite and a deceiver.
God warns us over and over in the New Testament not to be deceived. I thought I would never allow myself to be deceived. But God has been revealing to me the last number years how deceived I have been, first by the Mennonite church and also by Bill Gothard.
The past two years I have been researching the rampant sexual abuse that is happening among conservative Christian groups. The focus has been primarily on sexual abuse among Amish and conservative Mennonites and I am in the process of writing a heavily documented book on the subject.
What we are reading here at RG about Bill Gothard has many similarities to sexual abuse happening among other conservative Christian groups.
There is a Lancaster Online article (Lancaster, Pa) about sexual abuse among Amish and Mennonites by Linda Espenshade and Larry Alexander that helps us understand how Bill Gothard deceived us so well. It says this:
"'They are usually charming. They are very good. They have good behavior. They’re very entertaining, and they are well liked,’ said Pauline Zimmerman, a marriage and family therapist who was also a Mennonite victim of abuse.
"'The truth is that, once they have everybody in place, that’s when the abuse happens. So you cannot know specifically whether or not someone is an abuser until you have heard from someone giving the complaints,’ she said…"
http://lancasteronline.com/article/local/7647_Predators-wear-no-scarlet-letters.html#ixzz25qBLCDp7
God tells us the same thing, that sexual predators will appear to be someone different than who they really are: “These are murmurers, complainers, walking after their own lusts; and their mouth speaketh great swelling words, having men's persons in admiration because of advantage. But, beloved, remember ye the words which were spoken before of the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ; how that they told you there should be mockers in the last time, who should walk after their own ungodly lusts. These be they who separate themselves, sensual, having not the Spirit.” (Jude 1:16-19)
In the book: “Sexual Abuse in Christian Homes and Churches” (Printed by the Mennonite publishing house - Herald Press, Scottdale, PA 1993 p.73,74), Carolyn Holderread Heggen, who was sexually abused by the well known theologian John Howard Yoder, professor and a single man who manipulated his students, says this in the section Conservative Religiosity and Abuse:
“A disturbing fact continues to surface in sex abuse research. The first best predictor of abuse is alcohol or drug addiction in the father. But the second best predictor is conservative religiosity, accompanied by parental belief in traditional female-male roles. This means that if you want to know which children are most likely to be sexually abused by their father, the second most significant clue is whether or not the parent belongs to a conservative religious group with traditional role beliefs and rigid sexual attitudes (Brown and Bohn, 1989; Finkelhor, 1986; Fortune, 1983; Goldstein, Kant, and Hartman, 1973; Van Leeuwen, 1990)…"
Bill Gothard was very strong on male dominance over women as was Doug Phillips. That is a big red flag that a person might be a sexual predator. It allows them to control their victims.
There is another article on sexual abuse that applies to the Bill Gothard sexual abuse situation.
“Churches, just like families, tend to hide their dark secrets from the outside world. Many times leaders or parents don’t even need to tell families to do this; it’s understood.
“’...there is a way in which people relate to each other; it’s called the united front,’ said Pauline Zimmerman, a marriage and family therapist who is also a Mennonite abuse survivor. ‘And if they ever get any help at all, there are severe problems. Mennonites are part of keeping that united front – keeping everything OK.’…
“Victims and church members are expected to forgive abusers repeatedly, ‘to forgive 70 times seven,’ one Amish bishop said. Church leaders expect victims to let go of anger and bitterness quickly and reunite with their abuser.
“’It’s one of those comfort things that makes the church feel good,’ said Jim Laughman, deputy director of administration at Mental Health/Mental Retardation of Lancaster County…
“’It certainly feeds into the offender’s thing: ‘Well, it’s all done and over with; why don’t you let me go?’” said Laughman, who has worked with Mennonite and Amish sexual abusers, ‘At the same time, we have a victim, the hands-on victim, but also, what about the other kids in the home? The wife certainly is a victim, the extended family, the whole community is, in fact, the victim.’
“’And too many times, it’s just, ‘Hide it under the rug; let’s just move on,’ Laughman said. ‘Unfortunately that kind of behavior and ideology perpetuates continual victimization.’”
http://lancasteronline.com/article/local/7654_Beliefs--culture-can-perpetuate-abuse-in-families--churches.html#ixzz25qGHEn7h
The coverup of sexual abuse is also happening at Bob Jones University. Several days ago the Washington Post had an article stating that Bob Jones University had fired an independent firm hired to investigate sex abuse reports just one month before the group planned to release its 13-month review findings.
The university had contracted with Lynchburg, Va.-based GRACE (Godly Response to Abuse in the Christian Environment) in November 2012. http://www.washingtonpost.com/national/religion/bob-jones-university-fires-firm-hired-to-investigate-sex-abuse/2014/02/07/d44bd3c0-903a-11e3-878e-d76656564a01_story.html
In order for sexual abuse to be stopped, it must be made public. Keep the stories and documents coming. The truth must come out so that more innocent young ladies are not damaged for life!!!
Thank you!
Myron, I am writing a history of my German Mennonite family from Russia during the Bolshevik Revlution, and I have come across sexual abuse back then. Most of the history of that time period is silent about this issue, but it happened in my family to my grandmother. Is there more information about past generations? I am so interested in what is now being uncovered. ,I amnot including this part of the history for the sensational nature of it, but because it so affected my Grandmother all throughout her life. I need to understand the whole dynamic of this problem for writing this history. I would appreciate a reply by e-mail [email protected]
" Keep the stories and documents coming. The truth must come out so that more innocent young ladies are not damaged for life!!!"
Myron,
100% I agree. This is about healing, and also preventing future victims.
I saw no accusations of impropriety in Ruth's "Story" Only that she felt like she had wasted her youth working for a man with such high standards.
Many attack Christians for the same reason. The most perfect man on earth was even crucified for the same reason.
Could you point to the portion of her story that relates to the "such high standards" of Bill Gothard?
Could you name other Christians that are attacked for having "such high standards"?
No? Try "Charlotte"s story, then. Or try this article, which alleges 4 different sexual molestations by Gothard: http://www.religionnews.com/2014/02/28/conservative-leader-bill-gothard-placed-administrative-leave-following-abuse-allegations/
Is that enough impropriety for you?
@Changed "The most perfect man on earth was even crucified for the same reason." He wasn't the 'most' perfect, as if by comparison to those who were less, he was ONLY. WHOLLY. PERFECT.
I could not be more revolted that you have just compared Bill Gothard's situation to the crucifixion of Christ.
Who, bytheway, wasn't crucified because someone felt they had wasted their youth working for a man with such high standards.
@changed: This is not impropriety?
"Although he taught the highest standards of physical conduct for the sake of outward appearances, Bill started asking Ruth to sit on his lap in his office. He would invite her to come watch the stars, and they would lie on the roof of the old Headquarters building under a blanket together. Bill would take her to dinner and have her sit next to him on the bench seat of his Olds 98. She told me that he used intimate phrases like “I don’t know what God has planned for us,” clearly implying that there was something more to their relationship than secretary/boss. Ruth didn’t love Bill as a suitor, but over time he trained her to rely so exclusively on him for every decision she made that she was willing to do what God commanded and marry him if he asked. While the things that they did would not be terribly unusual for a dating couple outside of the Institute, Bill’s behavior was way out of bounds for a Christian leader and boss, and a clear double standard set against Bill’s own teachings on moral purity. Through the years, he has systematically fired staff for much less physical and emotional involvement."
@Changed: you might agree to disagree, but I'm certain the entire account of Ruth's Story is filled with accusations of impropriety. Ask Larne to be sure, but I'm very sure they consider Bills lifestyle towards Ruthie and many others, "improper". Of course she was just a secretary, and he a pilot, so what do they know ??
Thank you greg r and Marie, I think you both have spoken for me and saved me some time in my response. But sadly you missed a couple of points :) When Bill would wait till the women were ready for bed or in bed, then knock on their doors to give them his “good night” hugs; Ruth explained to me these were not the hugs that you gave to your mother-in-law, your friend’s wife in church or your teen age daughter but “full body contact” long embraces that you would give to your wife. Something that could stir up a man. I never asked it that happened. This was a common occurrence when Bill was up north and the woman hated it and tried to avoid him, but he knew just when to knock on their doors. But more important then the above comment were Bill’s lies, deceit, denials and cover-up of the events leading up to the 1980 scandal and the spiritual, emotional, financial and physical damage he cause under the banner of the name of God. Those issues have continued to today.
I find it interesting that with Ruth’s Story now in the background that someone would post a disqualifying statement fairly high up in blog comments with no chance of rebuttal since the readers have moved on to new stories. Thank you Shane, Hannah, P.L. Greg r and Marie for replying to the comment.
Not just truth but Grace, GRACE must follow closely behind.
100% agreed!
Thank you for sharing some of your personal journey and of your research. You expose the corruption in traditional conservative groups excellently. How well I know . . . God bless you for speaking up and speaking out.
from mitchell chapman
If Bill wants to change he would have done it by now. I do not think he can change and the board does nothing so they are guilty as he is in their positions of leadership. Bill has a false view of himself and his
importance to the body of Christ. In his mind he thinks he has a special gift or revelation from God that no one else can have so he is beyond any help at this point in time. Only thing you can do is have him evicted from the oak brook office and with that you need to go through the attorney generals office.
How do you know what he "thinks"? I think it was his humility that earned him a high seat of so much respect. He did not demand this place. He is a falible human being. Of that he is sure and most who have attended his teachings have no doubt. Remember David and Solomon? Bill is no better. Yet God used all these men in a mighty way. We , you and I and others are the moral failures. We are the ones who forgot to pray for this and other ministers of the Word. Haven't we been told over and over that Satan has put out a "hit" on God's preachers?
"We are the ones who forgot to pray for this and other ministers of the Word."
Did we? Are you in my prayer closet? Apparently not.
You just did what you accused Mitchell Chapman of doing.
Actually, I have been praying for Gothard. For his repentance, that he'll know the love of Jesus, and that his false-gospel teaching and organization will collapse. I've also bee praying for the victims of his cult.
Nice sleight of hand, but no, Gothard is the "moral failure", here. Please see today's article, discussing Gothard's booklet on Matthew 18. What you just did there, about turning the blame back around on the victims, and insinuating Gothard wouldn't have sinned if we had prayed enough for him, came straight out of this booklet.
thanks
many of us prayed and many of us are praying and will
continue to pray. The moral failure is we did not do more interventions
on behalf of the victims in the 70s.
"What Bill tried to do was an attempt to put himself between man and God." This is the essence of the HERETICAL authority teaching of Bill Gothard -- one that has been practiced in virtually every destructive religious cult environment for the last two thousand years. It is THIS teaching that is the glue that holds together his kingdom, and it is THIS teaching -- and the spirit behind it -- that has made all of these abuse situations possible. People allow themselves to be used and controlled, all in the name submitting to an authority who supposedly speaks for God -- in order to submit to an authority through whom they are told God directs them. The Bible says, "There is ONE Mediator between God and man, that man, Jesus Christ." (I Tim. 2:5) Can we possibly see that this authority teaching is a denial of the very foundation of Christianity, that Christ is IN US individually, and that we have personal access to God through HIM ALONE? That there is ONE Mediator between God and man -- and not other mediators? The fact is, if we would know Jesus Christ and the freedom that comes from our individual access to God, this would adjust all of our human relationships. With God, it is always the vertical relationship between Himself and us FIRST, and then this governs all of our horizontal relationships. This authority teaching completely corrupts this Truth. Even Bill's very own diagrams of the umbrella of protection, etc., is denial of Jesus Christ as the ONLY Mediator -- the ONLY One between God and man. You look at the fruits of this ministry, and all of the damage that has been done, and so much of it (not all) comes back to this one teaching. Bill Gothard does not merely teach some false things about Christianity. He teaches a false Christianity and another gospel. THAT is the Truth. It is the only Truth. And it is conclusion towards which all of these abuse stories lead us. Bill is clearly a sick human being -- but it is the false Christianity that he teaches that has turned him loose. THIS must be exposed for what it is. Do that, and the entire kingdom will fall.
Thank you for taking the time to write this, David. Aside from the physical, immoral aspect of the ministry, I am trying to reexamine this body of teaching that has steered my thinking for the last 35+ years, and by which I raised my sons. Your explanation of why the umbrella teaching is the first I have seen. I am now starting a file to store any related thoughts regarding his teachings.
I have been blessed over the years on the teachings of yielding rights, forgiveness, self-acceptance; these come to mind. So I want to sort out truth form error. Our family escaped much of what has been described here for a few reasons: I have only sons, we were denied admittance to ATIA (much to my devastation at the time) because my husband had left and I was divorced, I mean a "rebuilder." Also, two of my boys felt God was calling them to become lawyers, and you really had to go to an accredited law school to be admitted to the bar.
I was eventually spared the effect of the umbrella teaching in my own life and marriage, but that is another story, perhaps one I should relate at another time.
When I first heard of the stories of some of these young women, I was shocked and nauseated and overwhelmed. I pray for all affected, even those affected indirectly by the fact that their spiritual teacher was not what he seemed to be.
Meanwhile, I want to reexamine the teachings, as I first stated.
This is probably something that is already happening, but…
Are people in positions who would benefit from knowing the real story about Bill being alerted to what is being published here? I'm thinking of people in organisations in the US and overseas that work with IBLP and people who are speaking at the 2014 regional conferences. Does Gary Smalley know that the abuse he witnessed in the 70s is still going on?
I live in the UK now and have no connection with the American evangelical and homeschool communities anymore, but if there is some way I can help, I would be happy to.
Every day it's a new kick in the gut to read what this guy whose teaching I used to follow has done and is still doing.
Off the top of my head, the first person who needs to know about this is Fox News commentator (and former Arkansas Governor) Mike Huckabee.
Huckabee is contemplating another run for President. He is well-liked among the conservative Christian base and is known to be a Gothard supporter.
Mark, my thoughts exactly. Any worthy person running for office who has connected his or her name to IBLP in any way, shape, or form needs to be apprised of what is going on here, because it WILL be used against such candidates in the upcoming elections. Moderators, please take note.
ANYBODY , in ministry, politics, education, bookbinding, whatever, who hitches ANY part of his/her wagon to dear old bill's deserves what they get.. There are now several websites on to this story (I found RG thru Internetmonk), and that number is probably about to do that viral thingie... I would like to see someone less into their own celebrity than Huckabee, but Huck is better than most.
Gothard could be Huckabee's Jeramiah Wright. But, unlike the liberals, I don't think conservatives will give Huckabee a pass. Foolish for politicians to tether themselves to religious figures when they really don't know diddly squat about them. I like Huckabee, but why he accepted Gothard's support and did all the photo opps, I have no idea. He may pay a hefty price for being so foolish. Once the liberal media gets a hold of the story, they will likely make Gothard an albatross around Huckabee's neck.
To put it quite directly, this is the main reason I refused to vote for Mike Huckabee in the past.
Bill's actions are, indeed, NOT the problem of Huckabee, nor do they mar Huckabee's character. While I agree with Mike Huckabee on a number of issues, I cannot vote for someone I know who is likely to open more doors for Bill and/or IBLP.
I consider Huckabee's support for Bill and IBLP to be enough of a problem that I cannot vote for him in all good conscience. My opinion is that we need less corruption in government--not more.
I just heard about all of the BG scandal today, so I am still in a bit of shock. My dad was a friend of Huckabee's in the 70's and speaks very highly of him. Also the same time that my parents were introduced to the Institute. If these stories are true we have all been lied to. Do you think it could be possible that Huckabee was lied to as well? Just a thought.
makes me wish Tim Russert were still alive (though he dealt mostly with political issues) He was a great journalist and a great man..
Jeff there are lots of people who know but its apparent many of them are like Ostriches. Because its not effecting them personally they can turn a blind eye to it. there are others that it does effect but they are so locked into the program ie: they have invested so much of their lives in it they feel helpless in trying to back out.
Boz Tchividjian is a Christian and writes for the Washington Post. If enough of us contact him, he might be willing to reasearch and write a piece. He also may be willing to tell us which other news outlets and journalists might be interested.
Boz is the founder and Executive Director of G.R.A.C.E. (Godly Response to Abuse in the Christian Environment) and is a former child abuse prosecutor. G.R.A.C.E. is an organization that educates, trains and equips the Christian community to confront and address abuse: http://netgrace.org/
He writes for their blog: http://netgrace.org/where-are-the-voices-the-continued-culture-of-silence-and-protection-in-american-evangelicalism/
He recently led an investigation into sexual abuse at Bob Jones University: http://www.washingtonpost.com/national/religion/bob-jones-university-fires-firm-hired-to-investigate-sex-abuse/2014/02/07/d44bd3c0-903a-11e3-878e-d76656564a01_story.html
GRACE is highly respected and is doing a great work. They need to be invited by an organization itself in order to come do an audit of that organization.
Yes, I remember reading that somewhere recently on this website. I was thinking of the journalism angle. I wonder if Mr. Tchividjian (or another journalist he might recommend) would be willing to write a story based on what RG's work. The Washington Post is a well-respected national news source. If they published a piece, it seems likely that other news organizations might pick it up.
Oops - *based on RG's work*
This is ALL a big lie and an attack from Satan himself! We know Bill Gothard personally and have for many years. We also know that Gary Smalley is still very actively a part of the ATI conferences and we heard him share there with Bill Gothard in recent years. Why would he still support Bill if these accusations were true? Oh yes, you may also want to write scandalous lies about Gary Smalley... and why not also include some about Billy Graham? After all, those who are being the most effective for God's kingdom are usually receiving the most criticism and hateful lies. May God have mercy on the ones who are coming up with these horrible lies!
"May God have mercy on the ones who are coming up with these horrible lies"
May God have mercy on those who look the other way, and allow the abuse to continue.
“None so blind as those that will not see.”
Matthew Henry
Abuse? What abuse? A hug? A squeeze of the hand? Sounds like he was being friendly to me. Granted it may have been over what some had for personal contact, but wouldn't that be their responsibility to state if it was? I'm sure he would have backed off if they had. When I worked, and was going to college there was a guy that used to slap me on the butt at work. That was sexual harassment. I see no groping, no slapping, no inappropriate invites. If the conversation was too personal don't talk about it.
Micki,
You really need to educate yourself on what constitutes sexual abuse and sexual harassment.
If you think that fondling the vagina and breasts of a 16 year old is not sexual abuse, I'm not sure you will ever get it:
https://www.recoveringgrace.org/2014/02/charlottes-stori/#more
I honestly don't see how someone can not see the evil of this man's actions, as reported by so many witnesses, and just dismiss them as being friendly. He abused and sexually harassed these women. He was in a position of trust and touched them intimately in a sexual way that made them uncomfortable and clearly turned himself on. He took advantage of the weak and left a trail of hurting people.
Thank you for answering me Kevin. I had not yet read the story you posted. Yes those are much stronger claims then what was previously read.
Hello Austin, perhaps you are unaware of some of the other stories coming out about Gothard? Please read a few other stories, and take notice of the multiple people who are confirming them.
If I may address a couple of things you mentioned, this website exists to discuss Bill Gothard and his various programs and ministries. Not Billy Graham, not Gary Smalley, John Piper, or any other religious leader. If I had been harmed by the teachings of any other religious leader, I wouldn't be on this website, I'd be on a website dedicated to exposing whoever had hurt me, so most likely you're not going to hear much mention of other religious leaders, unless like Smalley, they were ever a part of IBLP.
Secondly, the people who are both presenting these accusations (and the witnesses) also have known Bill Gothard personally for many years. Does their testimony regarding Bill's behavior when certain people were not around, not count as valid?
Which leads me to my third comment: I'm sure you could see that anyone who is going to sexually harm another person (or harm them in any other way) isn't going to do it in public. They aren't going to do it around the kind of people who would not let them get away with it, as I'm sure you and your family would not have tolerated such behavior if you had witnessed it. It is not unreasonable to suppose that much of these behaviors occurred out of sight. As such, it is also not unreasonable to at least look into these allegations, rather than just dismissing them without a further thought. Would you agree with that?
Last comment: what if these stories are true? As Bill is not God, he is but a human, it is not impossible that he would never have fallen into a sin like this, would you agree with that? As such, since there have been more than one story, confirmed by dozens (more than the Scripturally required two or three witnesses), does this not bother you, that maybe there might be some truth to it?
As I read Ruth's story, I'm sitting here a little stunned. I can feel her strength, grace, and fighting spirit through the words; Ruth sounds like a woman I would like to call a friend, and I look forward to meeting her in heaven on day.
I'm having a hard time wrapping my mind around the fact that Mr. Gothard stole the mind, will, and spirits of so many people (men and women alike). It is a systemic thing for him, this is just what he does. This reminds me of a line from the song "Jar of Hearts"
"And who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are?"
Larne, thank you for sharing Ruth's story. I am very sorry for your loss; this must have been a difficult road to go back down. I am glad there are strong people like yourself in the world to stand up for what is right.
Larne, what a devastating and tender story you have shared with us. Thank God that Ruth had your love. May you be especially blessed with a sense of peace today.
Thank you for bravely sharing.
Larne, thank you so much for sharing your wife's story.
It was this portion that really hit me:
"When Ruth arrived at the Oak Brook headquarters at the age of 18½, all aspects of her life were controlled by Bill and his brother (who was serving as V.P. of the ministry): where she lived, what she wore and how she wore it, who she saw, where she went to church and the level of involvement she could have with it. Bill once threatened Ruth with dismissal over one male friend of hers, because he couldn’t tolerate her “lack of total commitment” to him."
Because by the time I began working for IBLP (at a Training Center in Oklahoma) in 2002, this was accepted fact, and not seen as strange. The control Bill enjoyed at HQ was extended to each of the training centers. We were told where to live, when to move (and were given very little notice), what church(es) we were allowed to go to, if we were allowed to have cell phones, how much time we could spend on the phone with our families/friends, what we could wear, what music we were allowed to listen to, and lack of "total commitment" was always grounds for being sent home (the ultimate shame). These were the rules for adults. Not for minors. I've been away for long enough that I often wonder what we were thinking, to sign our lives away like that.
I identify with SO much of Ruth's story... even though no one took advantage of me in physical sexual ways while working with IBLP.
I hope that the posting of articles like this can prevent other young people from experiencing the damage experienced like those who have gone before.
Thank you, Larne for letting us into your world, into Ruth's world. Ruth should NEVER have been treated this way. I'm glad Ruth got the chance to know what it was to be LOVED rather simply than used.
May you and your family be blessed today.
Larne, thank you for bravely sharing such a heartbreaking story. I just can not imagine what you and Ruth went through. So unbearably sad. Blessings to you and your family for standing strong and sharing the truth.
As an aside, I find the photo featuring the wicker....throne(?) to be horrifying. Especially given the circumstances we are learning about now.
Praying for RG as they press on. Stay strong!
Another pointed statement to the so called Christian "leaders",admirers of Bill Gothard's,"established authority".You who are connected with the IBLP Machine undoubtedly realized as well as some leaders in the Christian church,that there was and still is a vested price which inherent within it seems to carry a clause for not speaking out.Now a paradigm shift has taken place..A trumpet has been blown in the heavenlies.Eloquent,healing words to love the victims are coming,have come. Would that Ruth had somehow forgiven herself for trusting someone that should have been trusted,but was betrayed instead and thrown out as another hapless victim.Thank you Larne for loving this dear woman.
Thank you, Larne. You have made an enormous impact on the credibility of every story that has been told and will be told by those suffering at the hands of Bill Gothard. Thank you.
Well said, Julia. This story is a powerful confirmation of the truth of the other accounts. Though the credibility of those stories was already obvious to the unprejudiced, this makes it a slam-dunk.
Thank you for sharing!
Larne,
I have been reading all of the recent articles here on RG and with each one I get more and more sick to my stomach and deeply saddened as I see how so many people were & still are hurt & damaged. I have not commented on any other posts yet, but felt such a desire to express my sincere sorrow after reading your Ruth's story. Thank you for sharing this tender & painful story and know that it is helping others, because it is helping me break free from the emotional bondage that has held me captive for so many years. God is revealing truth and it's so precious and wonderful to be able to be set free!
God richly bless you & your precious family! Ruth was such a incredibly beautiful woman...truly inside and out!
Thank you
Thank You, Larne. Your story is truly heartbreaking--especially so because this control and manipulation is pathetic and pointless. I believe you because I have also experienced it. I was working at HQ the summer/fall of 1989. Some of my friends were teasing me about my driving and how treacherous it is downtown Chicago. They told me that students had gone down there never to return. I laughed and joked that if I were ever required to drive to Chicago that I would appeal to my father's authority to get me out of it. It was a JOKE--Hyperbole. Apparently not funny. When I had my first month's review I was told that I was not operating under the chain of command because I had suggested a misuse of authority when I said that I would appeal to my father. I was told that it might be part of my job to drive downtown Chicago someday and that they couldn't have somebody working at HQ who would so abuse the chain of command. I told them that this was a joke and that by this time I had already driven downtown Chicago several times without so much as a peep to my father to get me out of it. I had done it willingly. I got a blank stare in return that reminded me of the line from Mary Poppins, "Kindly do not attempt to cloud the issue with facts." I knew that nothing less than total compliance was permitted--we don't even JOKE about the chain of command. It was deadly serious, and I mean that in every sense of the word. I am so sorry.
Confidence... thrives on honesty, on honor, on the sacredness of obligations, on faithful protection and on unselfish performance. Without them it cannot live.
I have lost confidence in Bill Gothard and his "guarantees" using principles he does not follow.
http://store.iblp.org/products/SCSSM/
"This book explains those reasons and provides a revolutionary approach that will GUARANTEE the success of a marriage by applying a powerful Biblical truth."
Does this book start with "Pick out a pretty teenage girl and ask her to be your secretary?"
Thank you Larne from the depths of my heart.
Yours and Ruth's story is truly heartbreaking. Thank you for sharing your pain with us. I know if could not have been easy having to relive all of this again in your mind.
May God bless you and your family. May He use your testimony of what Ruth and you endured to bring healing and restoration to everyone who reads it.
Thank you, Larne, for sharing. I can't even begin to fathom the anguish this caused for you. Thank you.
Myron Horst, I met your family. Thank you for sharing. For over seven years, I have been against ATI, Vision Forum and several other prominent ministries that are shattering families and either condoning or actively participating in abuse. I am a supporter of GRACE ministry and named my son, Basyle, because of Basyle (Boz) T, founder of GRACE.
Continue to speak up for those who either cannot speak for themselves or who have been pressured to remain silent.
Larne, both you and Ruth put so many years and so much prayer into telling this story, and I'm humbled to realize how significant it is that today, finally, the story has been told and we have the opportunity to hear it. I'm inspired by your ability to move past it, heal from it, and yet—for the sake of so many others, at such a critical time—to step back into it and retell it. All I can say is 'thank you'... I respect you and Ruth both greatly for your words. Sharing them is a gift to all of us.
Master of Caius:
I take the war list and I run down it,
name after name, which I cannot read,
and which we who are older than you
cannot hear without emotion;
names which will be only names to you, the new College,
but which to us summon up face after face,
full of honesty and goodness,
zeal and vigor,
and intellectual promise;
the flower of a generation,
the glory of England;
and they died for England
and all that England stands for.
And now by tragic necessity
their dreams have become yours.
Let me exhort you: examine yourselves.
Let each of you discover
where your true chance of greatness lies.
For their sakes,
for the sake of your College and your country,
seize this chance,
rejoice in it,
and let no power or persuasion
deter you in your task.
From Chariots of Fire
One of the most beautiful speeches ever. It reminds me of this situation.
Larne,
Thank you so much for sharing Ruth's story. I know it must have been painful for you to relive all of this. I'm so grateful that you did the right thing and that you have such a strong desire to prevent future victims and a heart to see those, to whom much harm has been done, healed.
I will be praying for the healing of the victims you write of and all those he has harmed.
Thank you, thank you, Larne. As painful as it must have been to recall the memories, thank you for sharing for the help and healing of others. I think most who have read this, have wept. Had this not all been covered up, had not Gothard essentially lied to our parents, there might never have been an ATI. This year marks 30 years of the homeschool program.
Thank you so much for telling these matters! I will pray for you and the others as you continue in your prayers.
My word, my comment sounded as though I were hungry for information that didn't involve me. What I *meant* to convey was how much I related to the feelings of guilt Ruth had when she was learning to think for herself, once away from IBLP. Authoritarian teaching condemns people for merely using their brains in the manner God intended for them to be used - to assimilate basic facts, to learn, and to grow in wisdom. All this involves prayerful thinking, planning, decision making, and eventually, of necessity, requires some element of autonomy, that is, activity between the individual and God alone, to whom he/she is accountable. But when you are made to feel guilt and are told to get your guidance by taking orders, all of what God designed gets short circuited. And the person becomes very easy to control and manipulate. I'm so sorry for what Ruth and you endured, and am very grateful she shared her story, so that others may learn and benefit from her life.
Thanks, Larne. Prayers and hugs to you and your family. I lost my mom when I was sixteen so I know how difficult it is to lose someone so special. God's loving arms are always such a loving comfort.
Thank you so much for sharing this, Larne. Ruth was a beautiful person and the grace with which you told her story was amazing.
As a former student of the ATI program, it's so hard to get rid of those nagging doubts that maybe there was a bit of truth to what BG taught even though I have seen many flaws in it. That just maybe I shouldn't do XYZ because it goes against a certain teaching. But this story and your telling of it finally brought a sense a realization and confidence that this system of thought and these teachings were flawed from the beginning. I have a new sense of peace that I can have confidence in my personal relationship with God
Karah, your last sentence sticks in my mind. "I have a new sense of peace that I can have confidence in my personal relationship with God." Amen and never let anybody take that away from you. NOBODY comes between you and God. Period.
Nothing makes me angrier than people who set themselves up (intentionally or unintentionally) as gatekeepers. Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You shut the door of the kingdom of heaven in people's faces. You yourselves do not enter, nor will you let those enter who are trying to.
Amen!
Larne, Thank you so much for sharing your open heart with us for the good of the readers,,,, I really hope and pray that the right officials in charge somewhere read all of this and are able to do something about bill and his child grooming/stalking. He has deceived himself for so long and gotten away w/ it for so long that he will never wake up or admit to his actions..What we grow up w/ we think is normal....
Found the situation where Ruth was not able to make a decision in the store VERY interesting, (and sad). My wife and I homeschooled our kids in the 80's and several times attended the area yearly homeschool conference in Wichita. Usually very good and helpful. One year there was a family that was to be the "featured" family as kind of the family that had all their "stuff" (in place of another word I could use)together. They had 6 of 7 kids w/ the two oldest girls being approx. 23 and 25(?). One of the things they demo'd for us was what they did in their home for devotion time---one of which was having the oldest "girls" do finger plays w/ the little ones---which hit me as very odd. These girls old enough to be somewhere earning a living or learning a skill and were spending a part of their day doing finger plays? Oh yeah, forgot to say,,, they were an ATIA family,,, I think if I remember right their names were swan or swans---that is how my wife remembers it too,,,, anyway, after one of the sessions w/ them speaking (and there was always quite a bit of pride or a bit of arrogance in most everything they said as if they made no mistakes) a lady sitting beside my wife turned to her and said "makes you feel like not even trying doesn't it? I have never forgotten that as we are told multiple times in scripture to be encouragers to one another, not lording it over others..
I also remember during one of the breaks that family came to the exhibition hall to see the display booths and came strutting/marching down the aisle looking neither left nor right but only focused on the atia booth (or whatever it was at the time). They were oozing pride on their march---I was stunned,,,, Thank God we never got into atia,,, I have enuff to battle in my flesh.
I'm not going to sugarcoat my reaction to reading Ruth's story. It's absolutely heartbreaking, and equally as horrifying. I haven't yet seen anyone directly remark on the role Gothard played in the death of this sweet woman. You can clearly tell from Ruth's writings that she had a gentle spirit and a beautiful soul. It's horrifying the way that Gothard's narcissistic and sick actions ate away at this woman for so many years that the psychological stress of it all contributed to her susceptibility to disease at such a young age, robbing her of her of a life that should have been spent with her loving husband, raising their children together. Her entire family was robbed, and it's WRONG. Gothard is an evil, twisted man, and he needs to be brought down from the throne he and his devout followers have placed him on. I have nothing but respect for the people who run this website, and wish them success in their mission. It's about time.
Hear, hear!!
God bless you and your kids, Larne! Ruth was so blessed to have you by her side after she went through such h*ll. May God comfort you in your loss of her. Thanks for giving voice to her story.
So, check out the Wikipedia edit history of Bill Gothard's page. Someone is keeping a VERY CLOSE EYE on any revisions to his page right now and censoring any information related to the recent publication of sexual abuse claims.
https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Bill_Gothard&action=history
I'm not surprised that someone would be whitewashing the Gothard/IBLP pages.
Have you considered notifying the Wikipedia administrators that someone appears to be doing this? I see that one individual in particular is the largest complainer on the talk page, and a couple of people who don't have Wikipedia accounts are doing most of the "revisions".
Matt: I'm wondering if we can create a page on Wikipedia that will have the title of Bill Gothard (so his name will be first in search engines) Exposed? Could we also then maintain it and control it?
Just wondering. Someone certainly is doing a good job of monitoring it!
I like that idea Laura!
Larne, I think you have hit at the heart of how Bill's teachings affect women, in general. A woman's agency as an individual is undermined in so many ways. Even those who did not experience Bill's influence first hand suffer(ed) under the effects of his teaching. But for those that lived near him, the effects seemed to be amplified tremendously. My prayer is for God's grace (his REAL grace--not the IBLP version) and peace to envelope the hearts and minds of all who suffered under Bill's teachings. Thank you for sharing, and I am so, so very sorry.
"A woman's agency as an individual is undermined in so many ways. Even those who did not experience Bill's influence first hand suffer(ed) under the effects of his teaching."
Yes, a very close friend of mine has been married to an emotionally abusive man for many years. Until recently, she was not even able to recognize how much she was being abused. She's suffered tremendous guilt over her mistreatment by him, believing that she was somehow to blame for the state of her marriage. Bill Gothard's teachings had a great deal to do with this. She is finally finding her way to freedom in the love and grace of Christ.
I, too, was married to an emotionally abusive man and also felt as this woman you (MomAnon) refer to.The teachings of Mr. Bill on authority were like gasoline on a fire, they destroyed any chance of our marriage improving and my husband realizing his mistreatment of me. He still thinks I should submit and return to him, though all he has for me are words of condemnation and criticism for my "worldliness". It was finding this website, RG, that began my path to freedom.
Larne, it is so easy to see the great love for the body of Christ Ruth and you shared. I will continue to pray that this work to which you've been called will soon free those who are still in bondage.
I shudder as I read this story. 25 years ago, right after I graduated from Bible college, I interviewed for a job with the IBYC. I am so very thankful that I did not get that job. I hate that so many others have gone through such trauma at the hands of one we were supposed to see as a spiritual authority. Wow.
Larne,
Thank you for sharing your story as well as Ruth's. My heart breaks for your heart and family.
My heart cries for justice and for the light to burst through this dark, dark evil once and for all!!
We love you!
As tragic as this story is, there are tons of other stories of people who never worked at Bill's organization, but who nevertheless came under his heretical authority teaching -- and surrendered their lives to, "their authority," all in the name of God. I personally know of dozens of people whose lives and relationships have never been the same. And yet there are BG fans who continue to insist that it is not the teaching that is wrong, but the imbalanced way in which it was practiced. No. It is the teaching. It destroys a person's personal relationship with God and creates another mediator between them and God -- their authority -- instead of the ONE and ONLY mediator Jesus Christ. You cannot hear from God because He only speaks through your authority. Do people realize that this is blatant heresy and contrary to the very definition of Christianity, which is, "Christ in YOU?"
Yes! So true.
I believe these teachings are classified in Scripture as the doctrine of the Nicolaitanes mentioned in Rev. 2:15:
Revelation 2:14-16
14 But I have a few things against thee, because thou hast there them that hold the doctrine of Balaam, who taught Balac to cast a stumblingblock before the children of Israel, to eat things sacrificed unto idols, and to commit fornication.
15 So hast thou also them that hold the doctrine of the Nicolaitanes, which thing I hate.
16 Repent; or else I will come unto thee quickly, and will fight against them with the sword of my mouth.
Two common interpretations are that this doctrine is authoritarianism as we see or that it is a giving license to sexual immorality. While both are bad and sin, it seems odd that the context has already dealt with the latter possibility giving me reason to think that it is dealing with authoritarianism which prevents people from direct access through Jesus Christ Himself.
I consider it reasonable to think that the interjection of man's authority hindering relationship between God and man could be EXACTLY WHY He specifically states that he hates this thing.
While a lot of sins and things God hates are listed in Scripture, there are a lot of sins and false teachings where the Scripture is not this specific--especially in Jesus' own words. That fact alone is why this verse caught my attention and why I take the time to mention it here.
I assume that most folks here know that there is a Facebook page started called, "Friends of Mr. G," that was created to specifically refute this site. There are people on there that are actually saying that every bit of the information shared on this site is fabricated. There is a verse in the Bible, I Cor. 11:19, which says, "There must be heresies among you, so that those who are genuine might be made manifest." God allows heresy in His church to give us all the opportunity to choose Truth and reject error, and thus be strengthened in our faith. But if we choose error we just step into greater darkness. This is a time where that is happening. Some will turn to God and see the Truth. Others will simply close ranks, dig their trenches, and refuse to believe the Truth -- and it isn't going to matter what proof is offered. So be it. The Truth must be proclaimed.
Allen, your statement: "There are people on there that are actually saying that every bit of the information shared on this site is fabricated."
It is easier for some to say that these stories are fabricated than to deal with the real issues at hand; their pride, idolatry and heretical beliefs.
I went and had a look. Their reasons for why the allegations are false seem to consist of:
--RG has a theological axe to grind
--Rock music
--Liberals
--I can't tell you; it's a secret
There doesn't seem to be much for Bill's friends to rally around.
Allen, Tammy, and Jeff, there are multiple reasons for people to be in denial. This is just one explanation of one of them:
"People who know what love is don’t defend people that communicate so much less than love."
http://emergingfrombroken.com/why-people-discount-the-adult-child-and-defend-the-abuser/
@Jeff Gill and/or moderators... Rock music ????? is there a sound track to this website that I have disabled ?? Am I missing out on some sweet 80"s rock ?? Please comfort me, and tell me it's heavy metal, which I wouldn't really miss... waiting while humminng some old Cream.....
Lololololol!!!
Jeff don't forget non specific subject matter plus years passing on "incidences". It's funny how being wounded comes out on how we see things. It would be like putting on red glasses and looking at a white pillow. We are "sure' that pillow is red!!! In truth it is because everything is. We are sure that is the "truth". Even convince ourselves it is but in reality it is white. The truth is Mr. Gothard is a man, but he doesn't cause cancer. That is a stretch. Maybe your problems here aren't with Mr. Gothard but rather with God for allowing hurtful things to happen to you.
Micki, your reply to me reads like you dropped some acid then went shopping at the non sequitur store. I've read it four times, and I don't get your point or how it relates to what I wrote. Could You maybe slow down and try again?
"The truth is Mr. Gothard is a man, but he doesn't cause cancer."
No, but he facilitated the stress that caused the cancer.
Micki,
There were no years of red lenses viewing on the abuse, much of Ruth's writing I gleaned the story from we're things she had written shortly after leaving including dated letters some even sent to Gothard. This included the book she started and never finished. Bill emotions and spiritual abuse and his cover-up of his brothers actions is well documented.
Regarding the cancer, you are right Gothard did not wave a magic wand and give her cancer to quiet her, at times he might have wished he could. But if you do any research on cancer you will find that stress is a major risk factor. Considering she was diagnosed at 37 and looking back at her symptoms she was probably stage 4 when she was 36. Additionally there is no family history of cancer. Her doctor's thought that stress was the main factor.
By the way I don't have a problem with God or His sovereign plan, one of my favorite verses is "All thing work together for good to those that love God and are called according to his purposes." God had a wonderful plan for Ruth and me for the time we were together. Since then he has blessed me with another family. Maybe in that plan of Ruth's horrific death God had intended that this story of abuse to be published in RG to show his love and mercy. I won't know till eternity and then when we see Him it won't matter anyway. But for now He has called me to proclaim truth. What matters now is that when we sin we repent and if that sin involves asking for forgiveness that needs to be part of the process. Not just for the little things but the really big embarrassing ones that have consiquenses. Bill's failures includes emotional, spiritual and in some cases physical abuse, his cover-up of his brothers abuse and years of lies and deciept of both his staff and public. For this he has never repented and asked forgiveness for the big issues. The only thing that I an aware of that he has asked forgiveness for and regetting was his sending the women up North (Northwoods where much of the abuse occurred) this admission did not include the most import fact of his pre-knowledge of his brother's immorality so it could be interpreted as a historical reget (loss of prestige and income from scandal) or as a reget that his brother was immoral and he was sending the sheep to slaughter. Real truth is in the details and failure to include the details is not true repentance. As I have personally told him he has the opportunity to deal with it now or when he meets his maker.
God calls us to serve Him and Him alone, we don't need an originization or man to interpret God's plan for our lives or what the scripture speaks to us.
Larne Gabriel
Please excuse any typos this was done on my phone. Internet out!
Esbee You don't know what caused the cancer. Sure IBLP caused stress , but so does life. Does that mean we quit life? Sometimes it is inherent, sometimes it is environmental, truly there is no way of knowing.
Larne - I am sorry for your loss. Cancer is a devastating disease. Some of my own family members have it as well, so I do know the heartache it can bring. A loss can be so hurtful and painful. However, I'm afraid you are focusing on the wrong enemy.
"Maybe your problems here aren't with Mr. Gothard but rather with God for allowing hurtful things to happen to you."
The Jews have a similar problem. They should be blaming God ( I am sure many do) for allowing them to be tortured and murdered by Hitler's Holocaust. But trials were held to convict the perpetrators of such heinous crimes against a people.
So let's take that one step backwards to a much less hurtful illustration. Let's say someone comes to your house and throws a rock through the window. You see it is the brat who lives down the street, well known for his troublesome antics. We already know by your statement that you will not be mad at God for allowing this act. But this time he caused destruction on YOUR property. Do you call the police to report it so he does not do it again to you or other neighbors? You can easily say, I forgive him for throwing a rock through my window but does that stop him? You still have to pick up the pieces of glass in your carpet and go through all the trouble of calling your insurance (who will want a detailed report). Your house may be without a window for several days until the glassman can get there and fix it. Insects get in, rain, snow, heat? And the cost will be hundreds of dollars out of YOUR pocket after the deductible. What about when he gets bolder and does worse things to you and others? Or to your family?
Women have been harassed in the Gothard workplace. Many underage. Sexual acts have taken place at Northwoods, which break both God's and man's laws.
Laws have been made about harassment/sex in the work place. If anything, Gothard teaches that God works through our authorities. State and local government, by Gothard's teaching, are our authorities, and they are part of that umbrella illustration of how God protects us. Therefore RG, by default and through no fault of their own, is actually following a Gothard teaching by considering an action against Gothard for molestation/harassment against his employees. That law was made by our governing authorities. Per Gorhard teaching, our authorities are to be obeyed. Wait, we are not allowed to give an evil report (or is that a report of evil). Wait, we are supposed to follow authorities. Authorities say to obey the law. Wait, Gothard is not obeying a certain law about harassment in the work place. Wait, governing authorities say we are supposed to report breaking of laws. Wait, Gothard says...wait, the law says, Gothard says.... wait, wait wait...ARGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I can't take it any more. What am I supposed to dooooooooooooooooooo?!?!?!?!?!?!? And as I shrink further into my shell, and my voice gets tinier and tinier and my self-esteem extinguishes, I come to the only conclusion-----------it's my fault, it is ALL my fault. I did it. I caused this! All the way back to Adam and Eve, I am the guilty party. Where is that cat-o nine tails so I can flail myself into oblivion?
Now do you see the weight of the LAW that has been put upon us by legalism?
Longtime reader, first-time poster, avidly disapprove of ATI and Gothardism, and I don't think I doubt RG's credibility anymore. I do have a question about something, though. Are these stories written by different authors? Yesterday's post "The Gothard Files: The Early Years, 1965 to 1980" had a very similar quotation to this one, both right after a few sentences describing IBYC's extravagant jets and Bill Gothard's car.
https://www.recoveringgrace.org/2014/02/the-gothard-files-the-early-years-1965-79/
If he wanted something personal, he would casually mention it and the staff would buy it as a gift or expense it.
https://www.recoveringgrace.org/2014/02/ruths-story/
If he wanted anything personally, he would casually mention it to his staff and they would buy it as a gift or expense it.
Is there a ghostwriter here? Or an editor? In my understanding, the first post was theoretically written by the RG team and the second by Ruth's husband. Is this an incorrect assumption, or is there some other explanation?
Again, I'm not attacking your credibility. I want the case against Mr. Gothard to be as foolproof as possible.
Yes, easy explanation. Mr. Gabriel submitted his story to us a few months ago, and it was one of the sources the writer of "the early years" utilized in compiling the bigger story. We liked the idea of following our expose with one our our sources which also happened to be ready for publishing.
Thank you for your prompt reply and also for your dedication to this site. Your reputation for integrity continues. I look forward to your next articles.
Please use quotation marks when you quote someone, or else paraphrase their statement =-) Thanks.
This brought me to tears...
SOMEONE finally understands!!! I needed that. It seems like so many people I know are either angry at him, or in denial. I needed to hear from someone who has been hurt, but has come through with both mind AND heart intact.
You forced me to look back and acknowledge that my memories are true...
-I also have the nightmares.
-What he told you about your lack of peace with working with him, he also told me.
-I have difficulty with the smallest decisions
-I thought he was just my friend!!!
-He DID put himself between me and God, and he messed me up terribly in the process.
I can only hope and pray that my generation is the last to have to group together and struggle to heal from the wounds of one man who decided to use religion for his own self centered desires.
Thank you for writing this!!
J, in reading your post, I feel great sorrow and compassion for what you have suffered. Validation is so helpful in the healing process, and I'm glad you're getting some.
Dear Larne,
Thank you for sharing all this. Your late wife Ruth is an inspiration to me. I used to have a recurring nightmare that I was married but still living at home and could not leave my dad's chain of command. I had this dream again two nights ago after reading all these new stories about BG and the IBLP/ATI ministry. I have so much healing still to do. My parents are just beginning to read the articles here and are not very open to seeing much wrong with BG. It is so difficult, but God's grace and freedom are so wonderful, I can never go back to living that ATI lie.
Wounded,
I have that same exact recurring nightmare. It is the worst fear and I wake up feeling terrible until I realize I am actually allowed to live with my husband. I've told my husband about it, and I think he thinks it is sweet or something like that since I want to live with him. But it's not about that, it's about the powerlessness and captivity. In the dream I feel absolute despair because a powerful authority keeps me separated from what I love most. These past two weeks of reading RG have been so healing for me. It would be great to never have that nightmare again. I've been married for almost 13 years now, and it has been recurring for that long.
I have had similar nightmares. I even wrote an article about one of them, although I do not know if I will submit it. Writing it out was therapeutic for me. Oddly enough, God used one such nightmare to really minister to me and bring healing in my life. Healing that helped lead me to forgiveness of the person who had hurt me. It has been such a relief!
Thanks Larne, I know Ruth would be proud of you and so am I!
Larne, your story moved me deeply, and even my husband, who had very little exposure to IBLP/ATI before marrying me, was moved to tears by the beautiful way you shared your story, and for your courage and graciousness in telling it. Thank you.
Larne,
Ruth's story, as related by you, is amazing, heartbreaking and almost overwhelming. It touched me deeply. You know, she was a gift to you, and you to her. I pray that her words will open hearts and cause blinded eyes to see. Thank you for sharing this powerful remembrance. You honored Ruth's memory and and you represented her beautifully.
Jim K.
[…] of it. He never did. There is perhaps a reason. Bill too, was being familiar with the young ladies. Ruth’s Story is a glimpse into those days. He had a regular practice of going room to room each night after the […]
The gospel as related in Psalm 40 by the prophet David and confirmed in Hebrews 10, hits IBLP in its solar plexus as you realize that the "law" here does not mean the OT law or increasing levels of external regulation but rather the replaced heart with God's law put in it through the work of the Holy Spirit Himself!
The strength of sin is--the law. The answer to sin, therefore, CANNOT BE the law but rather the work and power of the new covenant which Jesus established through he own blood in doing the will of God as expressed in the prophets and confirmed in Hebrews 10.
Thank God that Jesus sets us free from sin and the law and makes us alive unto Jesus Christ!!
The false gospel of IBLP cannot produce through a lifetime of stringent effort what the grace of Christ provides for free. God makes the change in our heart which we cannot do by our own efforts. We realize that we have become the workmanship of God himself!
In IBLP teachings and applications, a single even minor slip into foolishness takes you back into berating and terrible condemnation. This leads to nightmares (quite literally) in those who love God as the voice of the accuser of the brethren is brought to bear. Meanwhile, entire lives full of corruption are not dealt with in a way to bring those individuals to the gospel. This is serious diabolical pattern and should not be example for the church or any para-church organization in my opinion. I know, I lived inside for 19 years and ministered with or alongside IBLP for 11 of those. I regret that, and I have prayed that God would restore those years and move in the minds and hearts of those I affected to bring the truth of His gospel which leads to salvation!
Hebrews 10:5-10 (for sake of space)
"5 Wherefore when he cometh into the world, he saith, Sacrifice and offering thou wouldest not, but a body hast thou prepared me: 6 in burnt offerings and sacrifices for sin thou hast had no pleasure. 7 Then said I, Lo, I come (in the volume of the book it is written of me,) to do thy will, O God. 8 Above when he said, Sacrifice and offering and burnt offerings and offering for sin thou wouldest not, neither hadst pleasure therein; which are offered by the law; 9 then said he, Lo, I come to do thy will, O God. He taketh away the first, that he may establish the second. 10 By the which will we are sanctified through the offering of the body of Jesus Christ once for all."
Amen! This is the GOOD NEWS!
Beautiful truth!
Thank you, Samuel. Praise God for His indescribable Gift!
A little book called "Law and Grace" by the late Alva McClain, Founding President of Grace Theological Seminary, has helped me (and others I know) tremendously to understand our freedom from guilt, sin and condemnation in Christ under the New Covenant:
Here's the Amazon page: http://www.amazon.com/Law-Grace-Alva-J-McClain/dp/0884690016/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1392319445&sr=8-1&keywords=law+and+grace+alva
That's a great little book!
Amen!
lisa madigan is the illinois attorney general. she has a website
so browse around and find the advocate for women and start filling
out the forms. You know Bill is the best at covering up so your not
getting a confession.
Larne,
My heart is going out to you for the incredibly tender-hearted sacrifice of love that you have displayed in carrying the torch for your sweetheart, Ruth. I am weeping with you. As a former secretary to Bill Gothard, I can honestly say that I relate with a great deal of what you have shared. "Meg" was the secretary who followed me, and reading her account reopened a floodgate of unsettling memories and emotions that had been dimmed over the last years, but never silenced. I am grateful for a brave and noble father who stepped in, confronted Bill and quietly brought me home. We chose to be silent but we will not remain silent anymore.. Too many young girls have had the rugs pulled out from under their hearts, and it needs to stop, not only for the healing of the oppressed but also because we care about the condition of Bill Gothard's heart before the Lord. I am shaking in my boots to make my name public, but after much prayer, I feel confident that it's the right thing to do.
Thank you, Larne. I'm hugging you in my heart.
~robin
Robin, thank you for having the guts to share and post your name. I pray that you will find complete healing through Christ.
You are a brave brave lady! You don't know me but your sister is a dear friend of mine. I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that, but kudos for your dad stepping in and protecting you!
Much love and many hugs to you, Robin! Thank you for so graciously sharing your heart. I love and miss you!
Robin,
Thank you, so deeply grateful for your courage in coming forward! It is time for truth and healing.
Rebecca
Yes. It is time.
Time for all of you brave girls to have a voice.
Time for your hearts to have closure and start healing.
Time for the rest of the church to know the truth.
Thank you for being brave.
Robin, thank you for adding your testimony to the others on this site. I am glad your father did the right thing, and that he was informed at the time of what was going on. I am positive you are a huge encouragement to the women who have already spoken up. Again, thank you for putting out your name, in order to warn others and perhaps bring Bill Gothard to repentance.
A big hug to you sister Robin! Thank you so much for taking this courageous step.
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God." 2 Cor. 1:3-4
"Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us." Rom. 5:5
Robin,
Thank you for sharing your heart. Bill's and his abuse is not just of the emotional, mental and sometimes physical nature, which of themselves are evil and bad enough. But more important they cut to who we really are, what we believe and why we were there in the first place. That being our spiritual side. We all wanted to serve God, share His love and reach the world with His message of Grace and salvation. Instead we found we were serving Gothard and his prideful message of deceit and control. Our healing took many years and one of the most important aspects of that healing was the contact we had with the ex-staff. They had the same experiences we did, they understood and together we laughed, cried and prayed together. This is much the same as war veterans that keep having reunions till they die. They were there together, saw the bombs, death and distruction. Only they understood the experience because only they had been there. We were also in battle but a spiritual one, same wounds, same scars and game hurts.
We all have a type of PTSD and I think RG is a great place to start dealing with it. We all want our story to be heard mostly because Bill and his devoted followers have refused. Bill has tried to instill in his staff that leaving his ministry would only lead to God's second best. For me my life began when I left in 1980 and even with the sadness it has not been second best. I determined to not let Bill win the battle for who God wanted me to be.
Robin,
I'm so grateful that you had a brave father who confronted Bill Gothard and took you home. Thank you for your courage in stepping forward that it may be stopped and healing may occur.
God bless you.
Robin and anyone else who has testified. If you receive any intimidation or threats, please make it public or let Recovering Grace know about it. Do not bear it alone. Silence/coverup gives sexual predators power over you. There is an huge amount of support for you.
Yes, yes, please let us know if anyone threatens or intimidates you!
Wow, another story on the open. Thank you for sharing, Robin. I'm sure it wasn't easy!
I do hope that all of the friends of Mr. G will take note of Robin's comment. She was the secretary immediately BEFORE "Meg." Her father confronted Bill. (There it is for all of you who demand Matt. 18. I'm sure Bill said he was sorry for any offense.) But all of this made such an impact upon Bill that, without breaking stride, he simply continued his abuse. It continued to be allowed, because Bill is God's authority, and, "God always works through authority." Yeah. Let's come to terms with something here. Either Bill Gothard is the victim of one of the biggest conspiracies ever perpetrated upon a Christian leader, or he is a false teacher and guilty as charged -- and all who continue to support him had better beware lest they continue to be a partaker in his sin.
All,
Thank you for your precious words. My intent is not to "throw stones" but to lay the stones at the throne of grace and surrender these burdens to Jesus.
Larne,
The tears are flowing. Thank you for inviting us to laugh, cry and pray with you. I feel as though a huge weight has lifted.
~robin
Robin,
I am praying for you. Thank you for being brave and coming forward to tell us that you too have a story to tell.
May God grant you continued healing, peace, boldness, and complete restoration from your pain.
Robin,
Thank you so much for speaking up. I cannot tell you how sorry I am for what you went through. I hate that I could have lived in the same house as you for a year and never had an inkling of what you were going through. I foolishly and blindly chose to view the highly inappropriate things that I DID see over and over as just "bad judgment". I am sorry. But I am so grateful for your father and his wisdom to remove you! I have known for years now the damage of Mr. Gothard's teachings, but just now am seeing the additional abuse that you and others suffered come to light. It needs to be stopped.
The Lord has been so good to me and my husband and has placed us in a church that holds His Word In high esteem and teaches Scripture alone. We have learned what Scripture actually says and finally understand the words, "My yoke is easy and my burden is light." What a joy it is to serve God alone! We have taken responsibility for our own sin during our years with the Institute of not studying the Bible for ourselves as we should have been doing. We are not personally angry with Mr. Gothard, but we want to bring to light his false teaching that does not bring glory to God.
My heart hurts for you and I will be praying for complete healing!
Mandy,
Thank you for your very sensitive note. I treasure your friendship. I have so many awesome memories to cherish from our Brook Manor days. I believe that the loyalty that we had for one another and the crazy antics we shared were not only a safeguard that God gave to prevent the isolation, but you all helped to relieve the stress of where I found myself so often. The Lord blessed me with true sincere-hearted friends who weren't afraid to tell me the truth and some other very dear adult staff members who were "watchdogs." HQ days were wonderful in so many ways, and I'm grateful. I wish goodwill toward Bill Gothard. I truly do have such a deep love and concern for him and it gravely pains my heart to say these things. He could have such a powerful impact on freeing scores of hearts if he could only see and hear the cries of so many. I am praying for him like crazy.
Much love to you, Mandy (hug you)
Thank you Robin for your courage. It can't be easy, but you are in good company and a growing, vast company that echoes Larne's response to you: We all wanted to serve God, share His love and reach the world with His message of Grace and salvation. Instead we found we were serving Gothard and his prideful message of deceit and control.
That is the hideous truth. Only years later we recognized the ministry as a cult. We shake our heads in disbelief, we mourn the years that were vainly swallowed up. Yet, we rejoice that we now are FREE to revel in God's amazing grace!
May God continue to free our damaged souls and psyches.
Thank you Robin and Larne for your renditions. May they help Bill to see the error of his ways and to bring him to repentance. I can't help think of the verse: It would be better for them to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around their neck than to cause one of these little ones to stumble. Luke 17:2 Considering his age, every day he resists and hardens his heart is one day closer to facing his Judge: the Judge of all the earth! God help him.
[…] https://www.recoveringgrace.org/2014/02/ruths-story/#more […]
RG,
It would be nice if you had a central place to leave comments. You may have that and I am just missing it. The last thing I want to do is detract from the articles with general comments.
General,
I have left Bill Gothard two messages now. One Monday the 10th and today the 13th. Interestingly the first kid said BG was in meetings, oddly it was 9:45 pm central time. Today the lady told me he was out resting and recovering from his 40 day fast. How does a 79 year old man fast on water alone for 40 days? That's part of the image he builds up with his followers. I live in Salt Lake City, you all have no idea how similar what he does and the persona he builds is to that of the Mormons. What are the odds I get a call back? I am just following up on the letter from November 2011 ( I was not aware of the letter previously). Has anyone ever gotten a hold of him?
At this point in my life and career he is completely irrelevant.I was surprised with the information age we are now in that people still buy into his teachings.
Human beings were not "created" to live celibate lives, especially in this media blitzed culture we live in. I would not be shocked if this is just the tip of the iceberg as Bill so prophetically taught.
I am so sorry and sad for all the woman and young girls who have had to live with the repercussions of his actions for all these years. He robbed so many woman of their freedom. Sickening.
Ryan
Lol, the amount of nonsense and fiction on this website would be hilarious if it weren't so serious. There is so much factually incorrect material here, I can't tell how much is true and how much isn't. I guess truth doesn't really matter when a whole bunch of bitter, twisted and revengeful people get together and have a pity-party.
I do not necessarily support Bill G, but I certainly don't think this website is credible or even reasonable.
May God give grace and healing to all the bitter and unforgiving people on this site.
Peter, would you mind sharing what things you find to be incorrect?
I can start that:
- Stress causes cancer. Gothard caused stress therefore Gothard was instrumental in her cancer.
- ATI is a cult. Funny I found ATI to be very biblical. Biblical principles taught, family values taught. Always thought a cult tried to divide families instead of promoting family values. I guess I wasn't there when the red Kool-Aid was passed around.
- ATI promotes a false gospel. Funny how I didn't see that one either. Maybe the bible is a false gospel?
- Mr. Gothard needs to repent. Of what? That one still has me confused. He may have overstepped some personal space of some of the young ladies, but who doesn't on a day to day basis?
- Claiming to handle things in a "Godly matter" and yet using slanderous terms like sexual pervert, narcisstic, controlling, cult, heretical, false gospel, hypocritical and someone even said I sound like I'm on acid.
I invite you to please share what you believe to be the factually incorrect material, if you can do so without using that overly used and abused "bitter" word again. It's easy to shoot down all the commenters in broad, general strokes, but that's not helpful in contributing to a conversation if you share no details. If you have something you believe to be helpful information, please do share it.
And what makes you think you know so much, Peter? Were you with these people when these things happened to them? Were you looking over the shoulders of those who witnessed Bill Gothard's inexcusable behaviors?
The countless numbers of men and women over the past 40-plus years whose testimonies echo, dovetail with, and corroborate each other put the lie to your, frankly, pathetic attempts to discredit them.
We are not afraid of your labels. Working with others to stop a man who abuses his influence and power to hurt and destroy others does not constitute bitterness or revenge, of which I think you are well aware. In fact, it is a moral imperative.
Apparently you believe that leaders who misuse, mistreat, lie to, and abuse others spiritually, emotionally, and sexually should be allowed to continue their escapades unimpeded. Or maybe you believe that only Bill Gothard should have that privilege. It sounds to me as if "twisted" describes you quite accurately.
Peter is "LOL"ing at true stories.
Please keep the comments on topic. This post is about Ruth's story.
Specifics Peter... names, dates, events, witnesses. Supporting data that demonstrates that a particular assertion is not correct and then shows what you believe to be correct. This nebulous, "there's so much on this site that is factually incorrect" line isn't going to cut it and as for sarcasm, leave it to the pros. If you don't know what's true and what isn't then maybe you aren't in as good a position as you thought to determine the credibility and relevance of this website in the first place.
So maybe in the interest of the discussion perhaps a kind word to Larne or about Ruth would be far more in order than another drive-by launch of that tired, overplayed "you're so bitter" song that I've been seeing for years every time someone dares to question the sacred parchments of Oak Brook. It's like listening to bad karaoke.
Jim K.
Now I beseech you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you; but that ye be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment. For it hath been declared unto me of you, my brethren, by them which are of the house of Chloe, that there are contentions among you. (1 Corinthians 1:10, 11 KJV)
I am so grateful today that Paul, being a true man of God, didn't try to shut Chloe up and cover up the heinous sin in one of the churches HE started. I imagine Chloe was somehow personally involved but we don't know that. We just know that she was not accused of being bitter, silenced as a woman, but was instead taken seriously. Don't be so quick to dismiss what is being said here as fiction. Much of it has a great deal of evidence. The 1 Cor 5 fornicator was judged. Go Chloe!! Woo hoo.
I tend to agree Peter. The teachings were always presented as an option, never forced. Instead of people taking it as a time of focusing on the Lord and growth during painful (perceived) times, it has been taken as a time of focusing on self. There were many, many life changing God experiences myself and my family had in the program. So many days when the scripture seemed to come alive. I'm sorry so many missed those times and instead were disappointed. Life is like that. Life is not ideal by any means because we are all a bunch of sinners and live in a sinful world. If the accusations were indeed true, why weren't the authorities involved? Why is it being handled in an ungodly manner? Isn't that the pot calling the kettle black?
Has no-one read the countless explanations in both articles and comments as to why RG is handling the matter in this way? Let me give a brief summary:
Cult leaders have indescribable control over their victims (abusers in general have abnormal control over their victims.)
People who were/are raised in overtly sheltered environments are emotionally stunted, even if they are of legal age, I'm sure none of them knew how to say no to Bill, much less go to the police about it, they just didn't know it was an option.
Finally, has everyone not read how many dozens, possibly hundreds of people have gone to Gothard privately over the years, and it accomplished exactly nothing, as he has refused to even acknowledge his sin, much less repent?
Funny how everyone is tripping over themselves to treat Gothard in a 'Christ-like' manner, why aren't his victims being shown this kind of love? And what's ungodly about publicly calling out an unrepentant sinner?
Megan regardless of what Gothard or anyone does who call themselves christian we still need to respond in a Christ like manner. I had some reservations about how RG has been going about this but as Larne pointed out Bill has been approached in every way possible according to Matthew 18. my conclusion is Bill only wants reconciliation to silence his accusers and has shown no sign of true repentance.
If I took the attitude that I should only treat others in a Christ like manner if they do so towards me the bodies would be piling up and I could take a number of people court. As it is I pray that God will give me the grace to show a measure of mercy to others as I would like shown towards myself.
The damage Bill has done is almost incomprehensible, it is reprehensible and it does need to be addressed.
Once more as Larne pointed out in the end it must be taken before the church when the offender shows no sign of repentance. Larne asked the question who is the church? Well, we are all members of the body of Christ who walk with Him in faith. If Bill puts himself out of reach to his local church and his board of directors can't discipline him then the only other option is to expose him to anyone who will listen that calls themselves a child of God. I can't see that there is any other option.
Even so regardless of what Bill has done it needs to be done with the right spirit. I think RG has done that.
Larne my heart grieves for you but rejoices in the spirit of charity and grace with which you wrote this article. I praise God also that Ruth is at peace.
Perhaps I should have specified (I was trying to be brief, I tend to write novels, haha). I'm completely on board with treating everyone in a Christ like manner, and I believe, based on the testimony of so many, that the way RG is handling this matter is really the only course left to them, and they are being incredibly gracious and kind considering the severity of the allegations. I.e. they ARE being Christ-like. (If you really want to be technical, Darcy's idea of 'Jesus-Bull-whip' could also be called 'Christ-like' in a manner of speaking, but that doesn't interest me.)
I was speaking more to the fact that everyone is so gung-ho about treating Gothard with kid gloves, and yet they seem only too happy to stomp all over the bruised and hurt in the process. I say that's hypocritical at best, and certainly idolatry. I'm not necessarily saying Micki is doing the latter, I'm speaking in general terms.
Micki,
Micki writes:
"If the accusations were indeed true, why weren't the authorities involved?"
(While it would be wrong to speak for the other women involved, I believe they would mostly agree with what follows.)
Ruth just wanted to get away as fast as she could and start rebuilding her life. The women had been made to stand in front of the assembled staff and confess, they had to endure hours of investigational grilling of very personal details. These were humiliating experiences and their lives and all they believed were shattered. Having to go through what they had already endured in the public forum of a courtroom was incomprehensible. I think that if they had the slight inkling of Bill's future ungodly actions with subsequent women they might have made a different choice.
In calls Gothard made to us after leaving in 1980 he discussed the changes the Board had made that would prevent a repeat of the past, now in hindsight we see how that worked. As Ruth healed she became more vocal but this took time. Soon the statue of limitation passed, children came then the cancer. The crime took place in Illinois and we lived in Seattle and the rest of the women were spread out all over the country making the logistics difficult.
Micki writes:
“Why is it being handled in an ungodly manner? "Isn't that the pot calling the kettle black?”
I would not call Matthew 18:15-17 an ungodly manner! Verses 15-16 have been applied countless times, by many people in the past 34 years, but it has always fallen on deaf ears. As recently as August 24, 2013 Bill called me and wanted to reconcile (he never mentioned repenting) and over the next six weeks we exchanged numerous email setting the conditions for a meeting. In the end he just stop corresponding. We let three months go by without any further response. On January 10, 2014 we sent him our final emails giving him till January 31, 2014 to respond or we would release our document to Recovering Grace as commanded by Matthew 18:17; “17 And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector.”
Verse 17 says “tell it to the church” so who is the church? Is it a building, an organization or the body of believers? We all know it believers! The next question is how do you tell it? Well in Christ’s day He preached in streets, on hillsides, in homes or anywhere He wanted. Today we have radio, TV, books, church bulletins and just in the last generation the internet with the recent addition of social media. This is the world we live in today. Even Gothard uses the internet and has is own private website, and uses email, Facebook and even has a Twitter account. Recovering Grace is just using the same tools to “tell it to the church”. (believers)
Lastly at the end of vs 17 Christ says: “But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector.” That’s where we are today Bill Gothard no longer fits the qualification of 1 Timothy 3 and all Recovering Grace and these stories are doing is warning the church (believers) by proclaiming truth.
Larne Gabriel
Matthew 18:15-17 King James version (Gothard's only favorite)
15 “Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that ‘by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.’[a] 17 And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector.
Larne: your patience knows no bounds; your kids have a great "cracked pot" to follow, thanks for baring Ruth's story, and yours.
@micki: while Matt.18 mildly applies, the scriptures dealing with false teachers, esp. public ones, apply better, as I see it. See Paul's treatment of Peter in Gal.1 and 2 for HYPOCRISY, and the toxic effect of that on other believers.
We need to look at ALL relevant scripture , and not get tunnel vision constrained on BILL's interpretattion of Matt.18, while calling that alone as "biblical". Baloney... and not edible baloney , either. The millstone verses are actually some of the best, they show Jesus' righteous anger when "little ones" are caused to stumble. how apt is that ???
Sorry for the addendum, but could those who use the "we're all imperfect....no ministry is perfect...." please stop and find your power-up button on your brain: William Wilberforce was very imperfect, but he hated slavery, and fought it for decades (successfully, thank you Jesus); MLK was very imperfect, and fought racial descrimination (successfully) for his entire life.. I could go on. Yes, we're all imperfect, but bad things happen, and are happening to good people, let's not make this an excuse to stand idly by (as many of WW's friends, and MLK's friends did) and do nothing.
I think it was E.Burke who said "all that is required for evil to win is for good men to do nothing" hope that's a close enough paraphrase.
greg r,
Please read. Especially the last 2/3's. It has several specific examples written by someone outside RG and ATI/IBLP.
http://robinphillips.blogspot.com/2008/03/bill-gothard-ati.html
@nancy2: wow...thanks..got my lunch reading fresh off the printer.. you rock, you roll, but (we) dare not rock 'n roll :) :)
Micki,
What about the bigger picture? There were two aspects of the NT church that Paul fought against vehemently. One was the idea that one can sin and be saved (and he was very specific about what that was) and legalism or doing religious things, holding to convictions, or practicing religious rites to become righteous and imposing those laws on others to be saved. Both of these ideologies lead to sin but the latter leads to some of the worst sin I have ever heard of in my entire life especially because it is done under the auspices of all this holy outward appearance. It seems to me that if Paul was that concerned about it, that we need to be concerned too. It is a wrong philosophy that says that we all are sinning every day in this way and at the end of the day are forgiven. No *we* aren't. I have grace and grace is giving me plenty of power to walk free from the things God hates. Hint: standards are not among them even though God may lead me in a particular way. But that particular way isn't a law that everyone else needs to follow. The only law that would pertain to us today is sexual perversion.
Legalism further leads to pride and boasting because we are then comparing ourselves amongst ourselves basing all our judgment on outward appearance instead of the fruit of the Spirit against such there is no law. The first thing a legalist will do is demote the women to a place of silence using all those Scriptures that speak of this without seeing how often women spoke in the NT church and held leadership positions. Women will be called eternally deceived. The worst of these is Islam. I often wonder if there were a world takeover of Islam how easy it would be for the Christian legalists of our day to meld with this religion of violence and hate. The Scripture on submission to men will be further imposed on the women while totally ignoring Paul's admonition for the men to love their wives and lay down their lives for their wife, which leads to probably a greater submission. In a good healthy relationship, both parties submit. In addition, Paul states clearly in Galatians 1 that those who teach legalism are accursed. Do you then see the gravity of the situation? This is an issue of eternity.
Legalism is bewitching. I was bewitched too. Our stories are memories that most of us would like to forget but we are sharing them, not so that you will feel sorry for us but that so you will recognize the monster rearing its ugly head and run for the hills when you see it because it has infected the body. I am embarrassed of the way I thought these things were indications of my righteousness and the way I was comparing our holiness to other Christians at one point. We have a responsibility to help others see this. I find it so difficult though to get a legalist to see this issue because of the way they pride themselves on being so righteous by these means. They are superior to those around them. Bill is not the only one I have seen like this. I simply recognize it now. Doug and I have been blocked and defriended by several people who are legalists when we tried to share our concerns.
I have said this several times here but Sapphira is the ultimate example of the reason why blind submission is not pleasing in God's sight and why He wants both men and women to cultivate a loving relationship with Him. If Sapphira had been walking in the Spirit, she would have told her overbearing greedy authority to take a hike AND she would have said something like this to Peter, "I want nothing to do with this land sale."
I love Jesus and He is the only One I am concerned about pleasing. I will stand before Him not having my own righteousness, which is by the law but a righteousness by faith, knowing Him. Jesus is everything to me! We don't need a person to help us or to speak to us for God because ALL of us can know Him. Bill too if he chooses to repent.
Actually, Bill presented them as non-optional principles.
Agreed. I've been to plenty of seminars and such and I have never walked away with the impression that they were optional. Ever.
Seriously? I'm curious why you felt that way. Pretty sure I sat through the same ones and never got that impression at all. Do you feel that way in church too?
FWIW, from Bill's own website:
http://billgothard.com/teaching/basicprinciples
"Every problem in life can be traced to seven non-optional principles found in the Bible. Every person, regardless of culture, background, religion, education, or social status, must either follow these principles or experience the consequences of violating them."
He says the same thing in his seminars.
"Every problem in life can be traced to seven non-optional principles found in the Bible. "
http://billgothard.com/teaching/basicprinciples
Yes, it's just such a mystery how anyone could ever have gotten the impression that Gothard taught that his principles were non-optional.
Notice that he says these principles *must* be followed or else one will experience consequences. He spells out specific actions (where such and such clothing, don't listen to such and such music, get rid of such and such toys) and gives examples of specific things that happen from failure to follow actions. They include failures of character (anger, lust, etc.), bad circumstances which God brings on you (debt, rape, etc.) and broken relationships.
In short, the logical upshot of his teachings are that
a. you MUST do what he teaches, or
b. bad things will happen to you, including being a failure and God punishing you.
Absolutely UNBELIEVABLE that anyone could dare to say that Gothard's principles were ever presented as optional. The only option to them were the consequences. Maybe this would be a good time to review his diagram on the umbrella of protection, and his definition that to get out from under that umbrella was rebellion, equaling the sin of witchcraft. Give me a break. It is one thing to deny Bill's conduct. But to deny what he taught? This is willful blindness. If you are going to defend his teachings, at least tell the Truth about them.
Thank you Larne for telling Ruth's and your story. It is very weighty and sobering. I'm praying for you and others who have already told their stories, those who have yet to, and those who can't bring themselves to. My involvement with the IBYC was comparatively extremely minimal, but my buy in was high and it's tentacles still entangle my thinking at times. As a pastor I see spiritual abuse way too often in relationships typically with husbands toward their wives and/or children, and it's teachings like Gothard's (and others) that provide cover for it. I for one am praying that your, Ruth's, Charlotte's, Meg's, et al courage will lead to the downfall of Gothardism but also Lord willing open up a larger dialogue in the church about spiritual abuse and provide the cover for others to find their voice.
Thank you, pastor. I believe you've made some extremely important points. I myself have seen what you've described and some of my friends have experienced it.
To Larne, it's a great kindness to the church for you to be willing to share Ruth's story. You may never know this side of heaven how much good you have done.
Larne, every time I try to sit down to send you my thoughts, my words fall short. I am so very sorry for your loss. You shared Ruth's story with such grace and in a way which beautifully honored her life. Thank you for sharing your heart with each of us. Prayers of peace to you and your family.
That's. how I feel as well. Just speechless and heartbroken. Thank you, for sharing, Larney'!
To all,
I would like to thank each one that responded for your touching comments and I wish I could respond to each of you. I entered this project not knowing where it would lead but through out I felt the God's leading with every step. But this was not just my effort but more of a collaborative effort. I would like to thank some very special people who help guide me alone this journey back in time. First of all I would like to thank my wife for giving me the emotional space required. My daughter Amy has been involved as my personal editor and she is amazing but this journey has allowed her a glimpse of her mother's pain and joy. Ruth's mom and sister have also been supportive. Friends from the ex-staff have spent countless hours reading and checking the facts of the draft and their encouragement and prayers has been priceless.
Lastly and not the least by any means is the Recovering Grace team. I just can't say enough, my assigned volunteer editor was amazing, working long, long hours and keeping me informed along the way. The rest of the volunteer staff leadership were equally a delight to work with and I now consider friends. Lots of emails, phone calls and even a shared meal. They were more concerned about me and scandal victims than writing about some eye catching details. They were extremely sensitive and proactive to the detail of the scandal and how it would impact all the victims. I can't say enough about each one and if you are considering writing a story you will be in good hands. Please pray that God will continue to protect and bless the RG team so this message of repentance and healing can get out.
Thank you! I know this story will make a difference.
Thank you so much for another beautiful, sweet story that confirms any hint of doubt as to the legitimacy of RG. I have already written before but I wish to thank the lady who explained Grace in such a clear way ".....power to walk free from the things that God hates..." and used Sapphira as an example. I loved hearing that.
There is a little booklet that our church publishes called "Law, Grace and Righteousness" that you might want to advertise on here. It is a clear, biblical teaching of what it really means to be free from the law...no condemnation and to KNOW your life is hidden with Christ in God. So many Christians are fleeing from the fundamental teachings of these Cults and running to the "under Grace" camp yet still not understanding what it means to be a christian. It is so wonderful to really "know" Christ. The dangerous part of all this is that the mystical, feeling oriented way that Jesus Christ is being portrayed through music, movies and many false prophets...(Bill included. ) is causing people to hear from "another Jesus" The NT warned us of this deception over and over and yet Pastors fail to even mention the strong delusion that is taking place right now. People want to "hear" God speak and putting aside the Bible ( which God honors above His name) they put "experience" above the TRUTH of the Bible as the authority. Please warn people on here of the danger of swinging the pendulum the other way. Fundamentalists had some very good, practical teachings...Bill Gothard is a tool that Satan has used ( like many other men...because the devil has to work thru men...he has none of the attributes of God) to turn many way from the TRUTH of the Bible and be deceived. Thank you for your faithfulness in spreading the dangerous teachings of ATI and Bill and Please consider giving those on here the Truth of What true Grace and love is. They must "know" God truly through HIS WORD and no other way. There is a book written by Warren Smith called "another Jesus calling" which helps to expose many of these false teachers for they are everywhere now. We are in the last days of Apostasy. Praying for you all and the work that you do.
Having followed RG from the beginning, I have to say, Larne, that your wife's story (and your gentle handling of the parts she didn't finish telling) is easily the most compelling. You have explained with your life story how Gothard's teachings and personal failings go hand-in-hand to create a perfect storm of control and predatory behavior. And you did it in such a way that one is left feeling uplifted, even loved, by you and your family. In the end, I find that I cannot hate a God who can envelop the hurting with such grace. Even saying goodbye to a ministry that I gave the best years of my life to with my whole heart--I look ahead knowing that all is not lost--that there is a relationship with God available to me and my fellow ex-ATI survivors that is real and uplifting and refreshing. The consequences of Ruth's time with IBYC and Bill cost her life, your wife, and your children's mother. But it gave me hope, today. I think I am not the only one. Thank you for being ready when the time was right to share your story with us.
One of the things I had to learn personally was that God is faithful to guide us into all Truth if we are willing to follow -- and that this sometimes mean seeing and renouncing error. We have all been guilty of being deceived by some form of religion. But Christianity is not a religion. It is, "Christ in you." And what he wants is a personal relationship with Himself -- not one that is lived in laws, principles, and that which binds. Where the spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.
In all of the stories that have come out so far, there is one overriding theme and that is the way Bill would say to people that God was speaking through him for people to do a certain thing. People made life-changing decisions based on these words from God. They treated their fellow Christians cruelly because God was showing Bill something about someone. They didn't marry a certain person because God showed Bill that this was the wrong person. I don't know if this family will come on board here but there was a family ousted in my time because the daughter dared marry a man of a different race, which Bill said was not God's will and sin. I have of late begun to realize (even before this discussion on RG) that this is what "taking God's name in vain" is about. Just food for thought.
[…] Wednesday, we shared Ruth’s Story, the heartbreaking account of one of Bill Gothard’s former secretaries. The letter below was […]
What I'd like to know is why is this oft-repeating sex offender not exposed to the law and prosecuted? Are people assuming Gothard is a Believer just because he talks the talk? Maybe in name only. I believe the man is deceived about his own eternal state. The Scriptures forbid taking a brother to court. I hope that anyone reading this will do themselves a favor and re-read 1 John. Verses like "If we say that we have fellowship with him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the truth:" (1 Jn 1:6). Is Gothard walking in the light? Again, "He that saith he abideth in him ought himself also so to walk, even as he walked." (1 Jn. 2:6). Again, "He that saith, I know him, and keepeth not his commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him." (1 Jn 2:4). How about this: "He that loveth his brother abideth in the light, and there is none occasion of stumbling in him. How many young ladies as well as families has he caused to stumble? Hmmm, seems to be rather habitual. But he that hateth his brother is in darkness, and walketh in darkness, and knoweth not hither he goeth, because that darkness hath blinded his eyes". (1 Jn. 2:10-11). Can you say that Gothard truly loves these young ladies whom he has defiled? There are many other verses I could quote besides the one that also says that "by their fruits you will know them". If Gothard has trouble submitting himself to his church's leadership nor is a member of a local assembly, I feel that his profession should be called in question. We can not judge other's hearts, but we can certainly judge the fruit. A true believer can not habitually sin. This is not to say we won't sin. That would be contrary to 1 John 1:8.
Thank you Larne for sharing Ruth's life with us. Grateful she's at peace..... Grateful she was willing to share with others the abuse she endured. Hopefully other families will benefit from reading y'alls words.
Please do not reject Larne and Ruth's story because you want to follow a man right now. I am Ruth's sister, and I corroborate this story. There is a difference between wanting to follow the wisdom and goodness of God and wanting to BE God. Gothard wanted to be God. But HE is not going to tell you that because that kind of lets the cat out of the bag, doesn't it? I learned the hard way that manipulators maintain a positive public image because they must. If you are following this man, you are following this man-- you are not following anything else. --Melinda
Thank you Melinda for so bravely and courageously telling the truth for it is only in this exhausting exercise that we bring light to the darkness and freedom to the hearts weighted with bondage.
Praying for you and your family.
I knew Ruth and sadly as Larne explained her problems began with her parents not Bill.
Parents please teach your children that the Holy Spirit indwells all who believe. No one is on a pedestal except Jesus Christ.
This is the lesson we can learn from Bill Gothart. Take responsibility for your faith.
Bill brings up a great point. There are many, many areas of pain in our lives. Many beginnings, middles yes even endings. Pointing the finger NEVER heals, it only makes it worse. We MUST "Casting all your anxiety on Him for he cares for you". I Peter 5:7 It might be simple - but it is so true. If you picture how much the Lord has done for you. SO much right? Then realize God "allowed" it to happen to you. It is much easier for us to forgive God then forgive "Mr. Gothard" or whoever we might be angry at. I'm not saying he didn't do what you all are saying. We are all sinners and I know Bill falls in that category too - I sure do! No one here can cast that first stone. None of us has clean hands. The enemy is happy when we want to take revenge out and make people pay. They can never pay enough, please realize that.
" No one here can cast that first stone. "
That verse is way out of context in the way that some Gothard supporters try to use that for Bill's situation. The rest of that admonition was to "Go and sin no more." And.....40 + years later, here we are- Bill up to the some predatory behavior.... teaching the same false teaching about the chain of authority, leading to the continued harm to families. He is still hurting people with his teachings and he has never repented for his predatory behavior. So, please spare us the "Let he who is without sin" lecture.
Micki,
You said, "Pointing the finger NEVER heals, it only makes it worse... Then realize God "allowed" it to happen to you. It is much easier for us to forgive God then forgive "Mr. Gothard" or whoever we might be angry at."
I would beg to differ about pointing the finger. The work RG has done here in exposing the teachings of Bill Gothard have been very healing for my parents and all of their children. We all are walking in truth and light now. We felt separated from and judged by our parents, but now we know it was these erroneous teachings and legalism that truly separated us.
So when bad things happen, with your philosophy we would be angry at God, and then have to forgive Him because he let it happen to us? That is twisted and strange. First, God does not sin and does not make mistakes, so I don't believe technically we can "forgive" Him. Secondly, bad things can happen because we live in a fallen world. God lets us suffer the consequences of that original sin and ultimately He is in control, but He doesn't let people get murdered and abused because that is what He wants them to have to go through. It is my belief that these things are similar to the other laws of nature. If you step off a cliff, you will fall to your death due to the physical laws of the universe. That does not mean God wished you to be stupid and walk off a cliff. You might end up in the path of some evil person, and will be harmed as surely as if you went outside in a tornado.
You said, "The enemy is happy when we want to take revenge out and make people pay." This also is twisted. With this belief, we would never seek justice even though God is just. Is it only non-believers then that wish for murderers and thieves to be brought to justice? Justice is far different from revenge. Justice also has a goal of keeping other innocent people from suffering at the hand of the evil person.
Becky,
You're right. No one should be angry at God and God does not sin. However because we live in a fallen world and are sinful creatures ourselves and have a tendency to want to blame other people and become resentful. This clouds our judgment. Look at Matt. 18:23-35
23 “Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24 As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold[b] was brought to him. 25 Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.
26 “At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ 27 The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.
28 “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins.[c] He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.
29 “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’
30 “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 31 When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.
32 “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33 Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ 34 In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.
35 “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”
If we take that resentment and anger and cast that on the Lord, realizing how much He has done for us - that FAR OUTWEIGHS any offence done to us. It is only doing damage to ourselves by keeping that inside. We can't force someone else to repent. We cannot "make " them pay if you will. It binds us and festers inside of us and then the enemy wins because we are distracted from doing God's work.
Now I am not saying let BG off of the hook by any means. Plus if you feel like you need to point out the light then do it. What I am saying is don't justify doing it with name calling and resentment or that really is the "pot calling the kettle black".
I may be mistaken, but those of us here who have never molested anyone, probably do have the right to 'cast that stone', since we are NOT guilty of that particular sin. However it's not casting stones in the first place, so I suppose the point is moot.
I do not see this about revenge and making people pay. It is about delayed Justice. Bill has committed acts that would clearly qualify as workplace sexual harassment (all the girls' stories we have read so far), possible sexual assault (Charlotte), and, in many states, misdemeanor assault (all the unwanted touching of these girls). We have laws and government for a reason, and NO resident of the U.S. should be exempt from them, no matter who they are. Since SoL has run out on these offenses, and BG has stonewalled attempts at repentance, the only way to get Justice for these girls is for their stories to be shared.
The attitude of "dont cast stones" & "you must forgive and move on" has been used to cover up and conceal many societal crimes within the Church. I have seen it first hand. It is time to STOP. Romans 13 is in the Bible for a reason.
Hi Micki
I guess I didn't make myself clear. What I was trying to say is that there are no spiritual giants. The Holy Spirit by his indwelling power can lead us to truth. The fact the Ruth interrupted her education to quickly answer the call of Bill Gothard shows she was awed by the man.Here are Ruth's words
" I became a devoted follower of the Institute’s seminars, listening with total commitment to the teachings of a man......."
We should never have total commitment to the teaching of a man. I'm not attempting to let Bill off the hook. In my opinion he needs to sell off his ministry give away the proceeds and retire. That said the very foundation of this problem rests not with Bill Gothard but in the mindset that results in devotion to a man, any man!
I agree there are no spiritual giants. Only the Lord deserves to be worshipped. I may have seen some people worshipping BG, but was that their problem or his? I never saw him encouraging it. Giving a word of the Lord - yes that is possible. But what pastor doesn't do that? I'm not trying to get him off the hook here.
Micki and Bill
You are right she wrote that, but not as a 18 year old starry eyed girl who just joined staff but in hind sight as a woman after ten years of Gothard's grooming and enduring Gothard and his brothers abuse. I have no issue regarding never putting your faith in a man instead of God, we are commanded to do that. I even discuss it in the end of my story. But a major part of todays discussion is the damage Gothard has done to spiritual, emotional and mental life's of those in his care and seeking his repentance.
But let me ask you one question; How would you handle this information, knowing of the abuse and how would you stop that cycle that has continued to the present. That's over 40 years.
Larne Gabriel
Larne,
Once again I want you to know my heart goes out to you. Nothing is worse. Your love of your wife runs deep through-out what was written.
Truthfully I don't know if it is possible to get his repentance. Wasn't that tried already? As said before, you can't force someone to repent. Then isn't it the next step to treat him as a heathen? You have to take care of yourself to and make peace, and if part of making peace is writing to put some light on it then more power to you. I have issues more with the slanderous name calling, because that is never appropriate.
@john n.: you can call this wimping out if you want, but I can,t do better in reply to your request than Dr.Hobbs article in the RG archives: Fellow Fundamentalists. Denounce Gothard,s Chain of command. This was written in 1974 by someone with no RG connection, and zero personal bad exposure to bill himself,directly. If you swallow bill,s bogus authority/protection "umbrella, then you will swallow the rest. I hope this makes sense, I welcome feedback.
@john n.: one more suggestion, and I,ok put your challenge to rest. Daniel W. Kirk has an article in the RG archives, A Call for Discernment. Pages 13 thru 17 deal with sins of the fathers, grace, and faith. Major areas of the Christian,s life, wouldn,t you agree ? Mr. Kirk has done a better job than me in describing where and zHOW bill went wrong. I won,t pester you with more examples, if these don,t explain things, I,m not sure "more is better". The LORD himself guide us into all truth.
[…] is a brief chronology of the seven women’s narratives posted on Recovering Grace: those of Ruth, “Annette,” “Charlotte,” “Meg,” Rachel, “Lizzie,” and “Grace,” and the four […]
[…] is a summary of Bill Gothard’s patterns of behavior in the seven women’s narratives: those of Ruth, “Annette,” “Charlotte,” “Meg,” Rachel, “Lizzie,” and “Grace,” and the four […]
[…] Those involved in the discussion were: [former IBYC staffer “Rebecca”], Mr. Larne Gabriel, Mrs. Ruth Gabriel, Reverend Richard Hagenbaugh, Dr. Earl Radmacher, and Mr. Gary […]
[…] how the experiences Ruth, Annette, Charlotte, Rachel, Meg, Lizzie, and Grace had with Bill Gothard fit together […]
[…] Ruth […]
Larne,
I just discovered RG yesterday after seeing the story in World Mag. In early 1979, I was invited to Oakbrook by Lin as a result of an inquiry I had made to the IBYC for a pilot position. I was being considered for the second pilot position on the Lear 35 that was on order. We flew the MU-2 to the Northwoods and I met with Bill and Steve, plus was introduced to all the staff there. I was not hired. I was initially very disappointed, but quickly placed my trust in the fact that God had a better plan. Obviously, He did as you were the one He had for that position. Another detail in all this is the one person I vividly remember meeting there (besides Bill) was Ruth. I was so saddened when I read of her passing and your loss, but I know God's grace has been sufficient for you and Ruth is with our Lord. When the 1980 scandal broke, some uneasiness I felt when I sat down with Steve and a few comments made by Lin all seemed to fit, and made me thankful that God spared me being involved. I would love to meet you or talk personally someday if it is possible. (I live in FL and am currently flying a LR60)
May the grace and peace of our Lord be with you and your family,
Dan F.
Dan F.
If you could contact RG and ask them to pass your email on to me, or my email to you they will read this post and know where it came from.
Larne
Larne,
I have contacted RG via their contact email with your request. If they pass along your personal email, I will contact you soon. If they do the converse, I trust I will hear from you soon also.
Dan F.
Dear Larne:
This is one of the final few sexual abuse articles I've read at this website. When I first began reading Recovering Grace yesterday, I still thought Bill Gothard was innocent. Initially I was going to post in his defense. But now I believe otherwise. I thank God for your willingness to share this heartbreaking story.
Your Ruth had the love of Christ in her eyes, which made her even more beautiful. Thank you for making her life so much better. I believe her dreams and memories did in fact ultimately cause her death. Ruth's recurring dream was indicative of someone whose privacy had been grossly invaded.
I knew Bill Gothard in the early 60's in Chicago when he was a young man who loved the Lord and responded to the Great Commission. I didn't know him well but as a 13-or-14-year-old, I participated under his direction in going door to door and inviting people to church. I remember his attractiveness and his warm sincerity. My parents held him in high regard, and I have a letter which my elderly mother gave me from him which we've regarded as almost an heirloom. I will not be sharing this story of heartbreak with her.
As someone who worked for the airlines and also experienced sexual harassment on the job, I believe that Bill's focus on staying single was pure initially but became more difficult as he become a renowned speaker. I think he became lonelier and got off track in focusing on hiring beautiful young women. His harshness in summarily dismissing various young people without counseling them properly was shocking. I think he was so focused on purity, as exhibited by the photos of the young Christian gals, that he lusted after it and then ending up lusting after the girls themselves. The insidiousness of his abuse of power sexually can really only be fully appreciated by those of us women who have been sexually tampered with. The remarks of those who say there was no "real sex" involved indicate a lack of understanding. Younger women and girls are the easier to sexually harass because they don't have enough experience to fully understand what's going on, particularly since Mr. Gothard was the older man, and there was such a reverence for him as a man of God.
That Bill Gothard has come to this is heartbreaking. I absolutely believe the accounts of the many young women and the men, including yours. Bill Gothard should never be allowed to minister again. I am praying for Bill's repentance. I believe that because he had accepted Christ that he will probably go to heaven. However, I struggle with that because he has caused many under his authority severe prolonged distress. I do feel that should Bill go to heaven when he dies, all the work he has done all these years will probably not go to his account. That it will be wiped out due to the grievousness of his abuse of authority. Others will say his work lives on in their families. Perhaps so but it's like a faith healer who does not walk with the Lord but through whose ministry those who truly believe are healed. The healing is done by the Lord and through the faith of the one healed, not through the faith healer who is hoodwinking the public through various means.
My heart is heavy over the downfall of this man who once walked with the Lord. Thank you to Recovering Grace for revealing deception and abuse of authority.
I was very moved by reading your comment this morning, Nancy. Thank you.
[…] how the experiences Ruth, Annette, Charlotte, Rachel, Meg, Lizzie, and Grace had with Bill Gothard fit together […]
If I may, I’d like to clarify several points that I didn’t make clear while writing this posting last night. As Bill Gothard became more renowned, I think he became lonelier in his personal life but more importantly, I think he experienced the understandable thrill of being widely popular and sought after for advice. What might have been initially a triumph for the Lord appears to have turned corrupt by lust and authoritarianism.
I believe that if Bill had married early on, as the Bible tells us to do when our sexual desires and longing for companionship become very strong, then he might have avoided this road to perfectionism, not showing or accepting grace. He wouldn’t have focused on the failure of leaving the single state where Paul remained but stayed constant with the Lord. He would have understood the give and take of a marriage and the value of having a warm, loving wife. I cannot imagine Billy Graham appearing in a photo sitting on a rattan throne chair surrounded by beautiful young women as I’ve seen here at this website.
Also, when I wrote that girls and young women “don't have enough experience to fully understand what's going on,” what I should have written is “don’t have enough life experience to even begin to understand what’s going on.” There’s the conflict of romantic thoughts, a crush on an older man, forgiveness if that revered person goes “a little bit too far,” the happiness of “being selected” for special attention, questioning what’s happening, her commitment to the Lord, the confusion of seeing the revered authority abuser as synonymous with the Lord, the isolation and brainwashing that occurred in these stories. When a young woman matures, it becomes easier to understand where to draw the line but that tends to be gained through some difficult experiences or having parents who have consistently been strong for the Lord who provide a better guideline. When an airline manager expressed an interest in photographing me, while assuring me it would all be above board, I had the clear comparison of my godly parents, both photographers, who photographed my childhood and our family together. The clarity and juxtaposition made it much easier for me to feel squeamish about the offer and turn it down.
After I posted last night, I thought of how different Bill Gothard’s life and my life have been. Bill gave his time and attention initially to the Lord. He spent his life in ministry. It’s by the grace of God that I can even comment on him considering that I did not commit my life to full-time ministry as he did initially.
One last thought: The sheer terror these young people must have gone through when faced with accepting evil in the Gothard community versus their parents telling them they could never come home again if they left Gothard...it’s hard to imagine. My heart goes out to those who suffered through these “choices” as well. It is surely God’s triumph that some of these folks went on to a life of ministry but I could understand if even one other might have committed suicide under these emotionally paralyzing circumstances.
Nancy,
I don't think Bill was lonely, he surrounded himself with lots of young people full awe of who he was and full of life and optimism to conquer the world for Jesus. Marriage would have interfered with his obsession to work. He would have made a poor husband and father as he was too self absorbed. His desire to marry "Meg" was probably do to outside pressures on the ministry of him being single and giving advice on family size and sex. Bill might have started out OK but soon the praise and applause fed his ego and it was like a drug that he could not get enough of. In the end his pride ruled his life and anyone who got in his way was a target. My prayer is that God will bring him to his knees to repent and that he will be open to God changing his heart.
Larne:
Thank you for writing on this issue to better clarify my second posting. You fleshed it out better, and you have a better take on Bill Gothard than do I.
I’m finding it hard to put the abuse at the Northwoods property out of my mind. I used to cross-country ski in northern Wisconsin at the AYH Hostel connected to the lodge at Telemark, Wisconsin, when I lived in Chicago. It grieves me to know what Steve Gothard was allowed to do without intervention by brother Bill and that Bill set the stage for Steve’s violations. The irony of ATI and IBLP graphics being done by Steve Gothard, the artist who forced pornographic films on the young people at Northwood, should make all the graphics of Gothard programs off limits from now on. Someone brought up elsewhere at the RG website that someone will probably want to buy the intellectual property of IBLP/ATI. Hopefully all materials will be destroyed.
What happened to your dear wife Ruth will be with me for years to come. I’ve saved your story on my computer, partly to see the light of Christ in Ruth’s eyes. I was listening to Christian TV while at the RG website tonight, and the sermon was about Ruth.
May the Lord bless your entire family and keep your spirit well in Him as you work with Recovering Grace.
Nancy,
While Steve was involved and a major force in the Character Sketch books and other material. There were others involved who were innocent players in the book's creation, both artist and writers. The primary artist was Severt Andrewson an older Christian artist who lived in upper Wisconsin. A second innocent artist was Jon Farhat who now works in Hollywood. Jon was an early whistle blower and was ushered out of the Northwood on a rocket propelled dog sled by the Gothards to keep him quiet. While Steve did some awful things he is really not the issue, I never saw Steve as a hypocrite and quite frankly never saw a spiritual side to him. To me Steve was no different then people I have worked with in the secular world. Ones who's primary method of operation was the abuse of power and control through any means including various types of abuses and sex. I don't know where he stands in his faith today but could only hope he has repented and follows Jesus. I know he and his family live a long way from the rest of the Gothard doing what he has always loved. Personally all of my Character Sketch books have gone to Goodwill or trash.
The real issue is Bill, his father, current senior staff and the Board covering up the sins of the Institute. The abuses of 1980 were swept under the carpet, lied about and Bill viscously attacked and discredited those that sought the truth. Then Bill’s inappropriate actions were continued with the ATI students and again covered up. Today Bill and the Institute is only reaping what they have sown.
Larne Gabriel
[…] now become a familiar pattern: the nudges and whispers and too-close-for-comfort car and van rides, the fixation on altering my appearance, the seclusive demands of time, the unwarranted attention, the controlling protectiveness and […]
Though my mind is filled with a multitude of thoughts and my heart overwhelmed with emotion, I can't seem to find my words. Please just know that I deeply appreciate the genuine and heroic love I see expressed in each line written. Ruth courage is only matched by the courage and bravery exemplified in the life she lived.
Thank you for sharing her story, your story... You're making a difference.
Much love and many prayers.
This is some sort of an organized cult!
My question is, did it start out this way or did power corrupt him/them in the process?
Thank you, Larne, for sharing this gut-wrenching part of Ruth's past. I empathize with all that Ruth (you, your family, and many others) have suffered at the hands of Gothard, even though I can't even begin to understand how painful it was. My immediate response to reading it all is "Why, God, why?" But as Evelyn Underhill wrote, "If God were small enough to be understood, He wouldn't be big enough to be worshiped." May God (who heard Abel's blood crying out to Him from the ground) respond to the prayers, tears, and heartfelt groans of His children and do what only He can--break the heart of the unrepentant.
If I knew then what I know now I would have never gone to any seminars or used ATI for my home schooling. The 1980 scandals should not have been hidden. I think it was wrong to let people make decisions blind. My husband was a sexual abuser to me and he was taught by someone who fed his sins. I am divorced by the grace of God, who told me His Word had a few verses regarding divorce but His whole book was about His love for me. Now that I know the truth I am angry. Breaking out this scandal is many years too late. I pray that all who have been hurt by him will be able to forgive and move on.
Thank you, Larne, for sharing your lovely wife's heartbreaking story. May God continue to bless you and your entire family and give you His peace.
For those advocating for treating BG--a manifestly unrepentant false teacher, sexual predator, deceiver, and spiritual abuser--in a Christlike manner. I wholly agree. See Matthew 23 and Luke 11, and Matthew 25:41-46 for the Christlike way to handle this sort of reprobation.
Let BG hear this warning of the Savior:
Matthew 7:
15 “Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves. 16 You will know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes from thornbushes or figs from thistles? 17 Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. 18 A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. 19 Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20 Therefore by their fruits you will know them.
21 “Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven. 22 Many will say to Me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?’ 23 And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!’
and this reminder from 2 Corinthians 11:
13 For such are false apostles, deceitful workers, transforming themselves into apostles of Christ. 14 And no wonder! For Satan himself transforms himself into an angel of light. 15 Therefore it is no great thing if his ministers also transform themselves into ministers of righteousness, whose end will be according to their works.
"According to their works." "By their fruit" (not their "success!"), "you will know them."
May God grant BG genuine repentance leading to salvation--while there is still time.
[…] of Recovering Grace continue to fill with examples, such as those recounted by Dr. Ron Allen and Ruth and Larne Gabriel. A particularly incriminating sequence is how Gothard ignored all of his own teachings in deflecting […]
So much condemnation, contempt, judgment and hate from guilty sinners who just love to point the finger. I've read hours and hours on RG and finding ONE who has the slightest appreciation for Jesus' clear words in Matthew 7:1-5 is as rare as hen's teeth.
Bill is guilty; so are you. How easy so many of you forget that. If you don't forgive Bill, you won't be forgiven. If you do forgive, you will be forgiven. The way you forgive is the way you will be forgiven.
But you guys just don't like that message; you like the "Damn Bill" message in your smug self-righteousness as you IGNORE the Lord's words: "blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy." But they don't apply to you, not now, now when your "mercy" is better spent on Bill's 'victims'. You think Bill will be judged by a vengeful, harsh Redeemer who judges like you do? How did you miss the message of the gospel. Oh, I know. Bill stole that from you too, right?
Fine. Jesus is the righteous Judge. He will judge Bill according to truth, just like He'll judge you and me.
I'm confused. Are you judging RG commenters for judging or for not judging correctly? Sorry... you lost me there.
Ok then..... you are angry and condemning against those who are vengeful and without mercy..... got it. Totally OK with Jesus being the ultimate Judge, btw. Your best point.
I hate, condemn, judge, and have contempt for any and all sin. That would be considered righteous judgement, yes?
In this case, since you've said you've read hours and hours of RG, surely you didn't miss the countless comments from those of us who have stated that we pray for Bill, love him, want him to come to repentance and be redeemed.. Surely you've noticed the comments that explicitly state, 'I have forgiven Bill.' from various and sundry people?
So while there will definitely be SOME comments that fit your descriptions, the blanket statement you have graciously provided is completely untrue of many many people here, particularly of the admins of this website.
Are we to forgive in the same way God forgives? Is there a different mechanism or process? In other words, do we receive God's forgiveness if we don't repent and ask for His forgiveness? Or is it that God's forgiveness is always available to us, waiting for our repentance?
And if this is how it is between God and us, then how does that relate to our forgiveness of others? Are we to forgive even without repentance on the part of the offender? Or is it that we are to always guard against bitterness and harboring of ill-will, and be ready and willing to forgive, when the repentance comes?
Along these lines, I spent last weekend reading "Unpacking Forgiveness" by Chris Brauns as I heal from my own experience with a (non-Gothard) spiritually abusive pastor.
Brauns explanation of how forgiveness works, particularly when the perpetrator is unrepentant, is quite different from the 'therapeutic', forgive-because-it's-good-for-you, cheap grace of many Christian teachers.
He points out, as Ellen does above, that God's forgiveness is granted upon *repentance*, not before, as people like Gary seem to demand.
I'll let God be my model for how and when forgiveness takes place, not Gary, and certainly not Gothard.
May Gothard repent so that he may experience the forgiveness you so desperately seek for him.
I wonder if the authors of this website ever question whether this site serves more to help heal or give people excuses to judge and hate.
IT would not at all surprise me is some of what has been posted here contained hateful speech. If you searched all my posts, there are very probably some 'greg r' entries that are hateful , or close to it: close enough to be 'raca, you fool....'.
But I'll take all this and more over Bill Gothard/IBLP thought control, no-posts allowed , no real thinking allowed here , we-know-what's-best-for-everybody.
Mr.Sellars, what is the point of your drive-by sermonettes ??
Oh, the irony of the righteous supporters judging the critics for judging. Oh, the irony of devotees to higher standards, condemning others for setting forth standards of truth and right conduct of old men toward young women. Categorical judging of judging and categorical criticism of criticism lack any credibility or persuasive potential. If you believe the critics are wrong, mount a defense of the teaching and the conduct of the one criticized. I for one would be happy to consider it. Where is it?
Wow! Tears, nothing but tears. I am so grieved. But what a sweet blessing that you would pray away those nightmares, and she could have blessed sleep! Bless you. I went to one IBYC Seminar in 1983. I do not remember much about it though. I guess that is a good thing after reading all this stuff.
I'm so glad Ruth's testimony has the first-hand witness of another- between her written reports and first witness account of Larne, her experience is well-documented and still speaks.
What a complement of two perspectives. What unity of truth in love, and of love in truth.
[…] repentance. Perhaps the most patient of those who have attempted to do so—even in the face of horrendous past wrongs—were Larne Gabriel and Bill Wood, who engaged Gothard for 22 months. They were generous with their time in order to […]
Doesn't Bill Gothard's life and masquerade bring back all the warnings Jesus and the Apostles gave to us Christians on false teachers? Creeping into houses leading captive silly women! I don't so much mean the girls who are sent under his care, but the MOTHERS that approved of Gothard.
The Gothard-loving mother's I have known gave this man his power.
Thank you, Larne, for sharing Ruth's story. I can relate to so many of her experiences. I was raised in a church that I call a cult that demanded full obedience to the pastor, who was a woman, and also my great aunt. She called it "coming under" and everything we did had to be approved by her. Any major purchase had to be passed through her first. Anytime we left home, we had to let her know first. If we didn't, we got reprimanded.
My sister almost died because her appendix ruptured three times before the pastor consented to have her taken to the hospital. (We believe in Divine Healing.) They asked her what sin she commited. Yet, when the pastor fell and broke her ankle, she was rushed off to the hospital and it was the church's fault--they had sinned. Every decision was made for us, so I can so relate to Ruth being unable to made the smallest decision. I feel like I am still cripled in that area of my life, even though I left that cult when I was 21, and now I am 65.
It is emotional abuse. The cult had all kinds of rules we had to follow--dresses only for women/girls, only certain colors of clothes, no jewelry or makeup, no pants for women, never cut our hair, long sleeves, hems below our knees, no movies, no dancing, no TV, no coed PE classes, Church Sunday morning--Sunday night--Wednesday night--Friday night, our family seemed to be picked on the most because we were the most compliant. There were prophecies and some of them were true, some not. I had a personal prophecy from her and part of it said, "He will give you power to lose weight if you obey Him." How about that for a guilt trip. I am still fat! Does that mean I am not obeying Him?
I have been to a Christian counselor and am in the process of forgiving her. It is a process. Things keep coming up that I have to ask God to help me keep on forgiving her. She is long dead, so I can't talk to her. I feel sad that my parents didn't leave before we got old enought to know we were being abused. It was never sexual abuse, but emotional abuse is wrong and hurtful, too.
It's interesting that before I got married, I attended a church that approved of the Bill Gothard seminar and took a busload of us to the Portland, OR seminar. I went for a couple of days. At church, I got so sick of hearing, "Bill Gothard said this, and Bill Gothard said that," that it turned me off. I think my upbringing helped me see that we can't look to a person, only God. The Bible is our truth. I declared in my heart when I left that cult and moved 1,000 miles away that I would never let any pastor control me again.
That pastor also tried to control the intimate part of married couples. On my aunt's wedding night, she told her husband, "Now, don't you bother her tonight." One of our rules was--no sex on Sunday. The pastor was married to my Grandma's brother, and he didn't attend the church, nor did any of their four children. He had a TV and it was known that the pastor watched it. She also took heart medicine and other prescriptions, but we weren't allowed to even take aspirin or go to a doctor. Go figure. That's the way cults are. The leader is always "above" the rules.
I am thankful that the Lord helped me to keep loving Him and find a church that really teaches the truth and that salvation is not by works, but by grace. It is such freedom. I know about the nightmares. I still have that little tape recorder in my head that plays when I am in a hard situation. It seems like Satan is always so willing to make a bad situation worse. We had a stillborn son, and that was the most devastating thing. That tape recorder played in my head accusing me of sinning. It played in my head at church at the next baby dedication, taking the blessing of the babies and turning it to a curse on me for my baby not living. It takes a lot of prayer to overcome and reading God's Word to reinforce the TRUTH. It sets us FREE!
Thank you for letting me share my story. It is a lifetime of healing.
Wow 😭 Ruth was an eloquent writer, it truly is a tragedy that she never finished her memoir. I've gone down a rabbit hole the last few days after discovering the news of Josh Duggar's conviction last year. I had no idea. But reading about this organization is putting things into perspective for me. These people are mainly concerned with outward appearances, they really don't care if their followers have put their faith in Christ. I live in Utah and this organization reminds me a lot of Mormonism, just because I'm very familiar with the Mormon religion. I'm going to read Jinger Vuolo's book when it's released, this organization is absolutely heartbreaking.